We're Baaaack.... and so is Our Senior Correspondent

Mistress and Slave are back in River City, and the lights are back on here at UCTMW.  Suffice it to say that it's been hard to adjust to the gloom and dreary routine after 10 days of skiing and relaxing out in our high desert hideaway.  .... Let alone the time shift. Thankfully, Donna stepped up to the plate and came up with this contribution to get us rolling again.And it's particularly timely in light of the Junior Senator from Kentucky's hissy fit yesterday because he had to submit to the same TSA "indignity" as lowly everyday travelers such as ourselves. My sweet Bill likes to keep me up to date with technological advances, especially those having to do with security. I received an email from him recently that I found somewhat disturbing. Here it is: Anti-Theft ID Breakthrough: For people who become stressed when asked to prove their identities by biometric scans of fingerprints, hand prints or eyeballs, Japan's Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology has developed a chair frame that authenticates merely by sitting down: a butt-scanner. Professor Koshimizu's device produces a map of the user's unique derriere shape, featuring 256 degrees of pressure at 360 different points and could be used not only to protect vehicles from theft but also, when connected to a computer, to prevent log-ons by those with unauthorized posteriors. Great. You know the government will take the cheapest route possible on this and we're going to end up having some TSA person use an ink roller on our butts and have to make butt prints to get through airport security. Will those with bigger butts have yet another fee added for the price of additional ink needed to cover the larger territory? Or, you never know, TSA might make us sit on printers for a butt photo. I've actually made a few of those. But Bill assures me it will all be done with scanners and electronics.  I wonder, though, if a butt taser situation might develop with some snarly TSA person pushing a button that zaps the crap out of any butt in the scanning chair that doesn't match on the first try.  And then, the next concern that crossed my mind had to do with those of us who have some spanking action as a regular part of our lives. Would my butt scan be different pre and post spanking?  Bill says he thinks it might, depending on the heat generated and the impact marks.  Now I had an A-#1 spanking on Saturday morning. It was what Bill refers to as a multipurpose spanking. The bare handed portion of the program was to bring up the caboose of the UCTMW train on the Patriots/Broncos bet from the weekend before. The flogging part was to settle up with a whole list of words I wasn't suppose to say, like...well, I'm not even going to write them and risk that wrath again, let me tell you...and the third section, the cropping segment of the event, was supposedly for "good measure", whatever the crap that means. But you know, it just didn't seem prudent to ask Bill for clarification mid-swing. Now, if I had been in a situation of going directly from the spanking to a butt-scanner chair, my butt would have been striped and much, much warmer than it usually is. In an office or airport situation, that could result in alarms going off and teams of hot men running to me, insisting I drop my panties so they could get an up-close look, and maybe even photographic evidence. Okay, leaving the fantasy of the hot guys behind, now I have concerns for those people who sit on the commode reading a book for ages and end up with a red ring on their rumps. Bad enough they risk hemorrhoids, but wouldn't that red ring interfere with an accurate butt scan, too? Maybe this whole butt scanning situation requires a bit more research before being put into practical use. Wouldn't you agree? Donna