The Cougar Effect

Mistress has been filtering through a variety of OJ Cupid supplicants over the last week. She is (and has every right to be) very selective. Which means sometimes a guy who seems like a prospect ends up in the cutting room floor.

Like the guy looking for a dominant woman. We toyed with the idea of a tag team of two slave tending to Mistress's needs. But this guy seemed more focused on his own needs.  She indicated a willingness to meet. He was asking for more information about Mistress's "style of dominance". But Mistress resists any sort of explicit chat before meeting someone.

"Slave, I've learned that when you do that, and then meet and discover there is no chemistry, you feel pretty stupid about sharing all that information....."

Makes sense. As her corresponding secretary I explained her reticence, but  told the guy he was welcome to share his own preferences if he felt comfortable doing that.  In response, the would be sub said he was looking for a "more hard or sadistic Woman to submit fully to. A Woman who enjoys subjecting a male fully to her whims and enjoys S&M and bondage to a fuller degree."

Hmmm.

When I described these preferences to Mistress, she sighed.  "That sounds like a lot of work, slave...."

In addition, and as I told this dude, Mistress is neither "hard" nor a sadist. And while she could work with someone willing to show his submission and devotion, and wear a cock cage to his heart's content, a guy looking for sadism and "hard" might consider looking elsewhere. The guy agreed when Mistress responded that "if you're looking for sadism, I'm not your cup of tea."

One thing that has become clear is that any successful supplicants for Mistress's attention are probably going to be younger than she is. The guys in their mid to late 50's on OK Cupid around here seem pretty dull and, well.....old.

"They seem a lot older than you do, slave.....even though they might be 10 years younger."

I guess Mistress keeps her slave younger than his actual age!

This brings us to an article in the Times yesterday, titled I want my 2.3 bonus years. It's written by a woman in her 30's bemoaning the fact that guys her age would rather date women in their 20's. It enclosed this chart that supposedly shows the preferences of men and women on OK Cupid, that she says shows that men of older ages are attracted to younger women, while women are attracted to guys their own age.



But I took away another message:  once women hit age 40 or so, the curve bends.   Once they his 40, women are  attracted to younger men. (The chart, sadly, ends at age 50. But presumably women in their 50's also follow the trending of jonesing for  younger guys).  This COUGAR tendency certainly is consistent with Mistress's experience. I mean she already has an old guy!  Why not go for someone down the food change.

Of course, this leaves old slaves like me twisting in the wind. If the curve on this chart was to continue on, my guess is only women in their late 70's would be interested in a guy approaching 67, even if I did just summit Kili.  I'm very grateful  Mistress hasn't kicked me to the curb just yet!

Re-Grouping In River City

Here in River City, Mistress and slave have been a little slow to get back in the groove.  Oh, not in a sexual way. We've been doing our typical wake-up sex here, with a late afternoon worship session chaser thrown in to keep Mistress sexually satisfied.

But it's been particularly difficult to shake free from the good vibes of our trip to Kili and get back into the more harried rhythms of life back here in the "city". The expectations of clients, family and our community activities are, well, annoying.

But we plod on, and part of that is dipping Mistress's toe back into the OKCupid marketplace, after concluding that JJ is a little too one dimensional when it comes to meeting Mistress's needs. Sadly, there is not much there other than a really big cock.

Of course, one problem with any on line dating service is the chance in a relatively small town that you might actually know someone's "secret identity". That actually happened twice in recent weeks.

There was the guy who labeled himself "adventurous zack", and admitted on his profile that the picture he used to attract attention was actually a "ringer" which he said was to avoid any of his employees knowing that he was looking for love in (one of) the wrong places.  He and Mistress exchanged a couple of "getting to know you" emails on the OK Cupid system, but when Mistress asked him to email a real photo.....

"Oh no..... I know this guy, slave......!"

Turns out they had met in a business context, The potential embarrassment made Mistress decide to simply drop "zack". She was afraid to even explain that she knew him, for fear that he would then work hard to discover Mistress's secret identity.

Of course, these tables can turn.... and they did. Mistress communicated a bit with a guy who said he was in an open relationship, and that his female "partner" sometimes liked to play. We suggested maybe the four of us get together for a drink to compare notes. He asked for a photo of us both, which was forwarded. And then..... nothing for a day or two.  That led me to look more closely at his and her photos and..... oops!

Sure enough the female partners was someone I recognized as a Facebook friend of both Mistress and myself. Now we know a little too much about them (he is "heteroflexible", she is "bi") and they both play around. And of course they both now know what the seemingly boring Mistress and slave get up to in their spare time.

We responded with a "how embarrassing" email, assuring them that their "secret" was safe with us, and hoping they would respect our "secret" as well.  The guy did say he would still like to get together for a drink with Mistress. That may or may not happen.

Mistress also got a solicitation from a self described submissive male who is somewhat younger and kind of nice looking. Would she be interested in taking on someone with such desires?  I suppose the thought of two men in cock cages tending to her every need might have some appeal.  We shall see.

Sap? Or Sapio-Sexual?

It’s amazing how you can still teach an old slave new tricks.  Over the weekend I opened an OKCupid account for Mistress under the name “MollyCollins” (check it out if you are on that App). It was just an “experiment” right?  Since then I’ve been “curating” Mistress’s suitors, showing her the supplicants that might entertain or amuse or attract her. Deleting the rest. Interestingly, OK Cupid has a much wider array of (seemingly) eligible guys than AM, particularly under the category of “open marriage” types.

I’ve also been reminded of a few of Mistress’s quirks in the process ----

“What’s with all the beards, slave?”

Mistress definitely prefers the clean shaven look. Maybe it’s because beards or mustaches tickle “down there”?  Who knows? But it does seem an extraordinarily high percentage of guys who claim to be in open marriages also have facial hair.  What’s that about? 

She also has interesting thoughts on fashion selection. Like the guy who self-identifies as a “Dom”, but has a pic of himself in blue-ish plaid Bermuda shorts. 

‘What sort of Dom wears shorts like that, Slave?”

But what was particularly interesting was a new terms I first saw on several profiles: “Sapio-sexual”.  I had to look at the definition: 

sa·pi·o·sex·u·al

ˌsāpēōˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/

adjective

1. 1. 

(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I met a PhD student from Germany who told me that he was sapiosexual"

noun

1. 1. 

a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I'm a sapiosexual and I like to talk"

I guess I fall into this category… sort of. I am attracted to intelligent women, and Mistress is the best example of that. But then she also has some other attractive qualities too.

As for Mistress. Well she does have high standards when it comes to the brain power of potential suitors. 

“What is it about these guys who say they don’t read, slave…..? “

Being a fan of “The Big Bang Theory” doesn’t make you a rocket scientist. Or even someone who can carry on a post-coital conversation.

In the meantime, the sorting goes on.  Mistress has set up one “meet and great” with a gentlemen who lives nearby for next Thursday evening. We told him he could bring his “open marriage” wife. But he says she’s already used his date as an excuse to set up an evening out with her “boy toy”.

And Sunday evening we have a dinner engagement with an “open marriage” couple to compare notes and see if any sparks fly betwixt Mistress and the hubby.

At least it should be good blog-fodder for our readers.  Things have been a little dull on these pages lately!

Slave On the Shelf?

Slave has spent a lovely 3 day weekend with my daughter and her husband in the NYC region.  Lots of ethnic food, and today an all day outing to Brooklyn, It was "take your dad to work day", sort of. But while she went to work, I rode bikes through Prospect Park and explored some neighborhoods that were new to me.

In the meantime, poor Mistress, left to her own devices, has been spending time with the Dowager Domme and working.  There was also a night out on Monday evening with two lady friends.

The common denominator is that we've both been in the sexual wilderness, with not even some "finger fiddling" to tide us over. Maybe we can be retired as exhibits in the Museum I saw advertised in the subway?

Without an available side dish, poor Mistress is not getting the attention (and service) that she surely deserves.

But I let her know that there may be helming on the way.  Inspired by the NY Times article referenced in our last post, I opened a profile for her on OKCupid (under MollyCollins in case you want to check it out).  There have been quite a few supplicants, and her mailbox is filling up.  She may have to take the time to review what is available to her when I get home tomorrow night.  But I suspect we'll be having sex first.

At least I sure hope so!