Tips for our Western Correspondent

Yesterday was particularly laid back here at our SW hideaway.... robust wake up sex, a long and sweaty bike ride with lovely sunshine and mountain views, and then some sun bathing / work for Mistress while Slave devoted himself to some field Slave duties.

By around 2 pm, clouds moved in and some much needed rain commenced. It gave us an excuse to adjourn to our bedroom - watch a back episode of Breaking Bad, with very familiar scenery, take a nap, and engage in some early evening sex....no it doesn't get boring.

Then we had dinner at a local restaurant with the inimitable Mattress Mary and her husband.

It was actually my search for that MM video link posted here several days ago which brought me to the theme of today's blog.

As you may recall, our Western Correspondent, when he is not disabled and collecting worker's comp at the expense of UCTMW, has a unique proclivity for "self abuse". He has run up a huge expense account tab on high end lubricant, apparently purchased by the barrel.

So when I went searching for "mattress mary" on Y-Tube, it was odd that I found an all-together different link.... someone explaining how to make a simple device for "choking the chicken" without use of your hand, which is The WC's case is probably developed and maybe suffering some muscle strain.

Here's the link:
How to Make a Mattress Mary

Then yesterday, as I was perusing an article in the New Yorker on the Pandas at the Washington Zoo and their peculiar mating habits, I stumbled upon another unique male masturbatory technique that the WC might find compelling.

It turns out that the female Panda is apparently only "in the mood" once a year! But when she is.... she makes her desires very clear and convincing:

"She wanders over a wide territory and scent-marks stones, the ground, and other surfaces with a waxy hormone-rich secretion from a gland under her tail. She masturbates, and when she encounters an adult male at the critical moment she lumbers toward him, rear end first, and lifts her tail."

I suspect that if I saw Mistress behaving this way, I would know what to do. I even found a video of real pandas having real sex; Check it out here: Pandas Having Sex. I like the way she backs that big dude into the wall.

But apparently the male Panda in the DC Zoo doesn't get it. Instead of accepting the clear invitations of the female when she lifts her tale, and provides that once per year all access pass, he just stands on her back!

As a result, the Zoo has been using artificial insemination, and has a unique way of obtaining sperm samples from the male Panda, which could be of interest to the WC:

"To obtain the semen, veterinarians inserted a low voltage probe into Tian Tian's (the male panda) rectum, positioned it near his prostate, and pulsed the current."

Walla... instant hard on, and sperm spurt. No panda porn pr phone sex required. SO maybe the WC should be looking for a suitable "low voltage probe" for hands free fun.  Indeed, if he wants to engage in a little R & D, UCTMW, which would own any invention he creates under the terms of his employment agreement, would gladly kick back 5% of the royalties.

Finally, it may now be time to announce that the WC has announced to Mistress his plans to pay a visit here Friday / Saturday. While we've heard this before, there are only a few days to go, and so the chances of his appearance may actually be approaching 50%. Will he come solo or with his long suffering wife, B? Will Mistress finally get to lay eyes upon the Special Occasion Cock?

As you can understand, his is a developing story, and we will keep you updated.