Showing posts with label Tim Tebow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tim Tebow. Show all posts

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Wake-Up Sex Interruptus

Mistress and Slave were deep into the denouement of our wake-up sex on Saturday morning when my cell phone rang.

The cell phone on the dresser across the room.

Now normally Slave and Mistress simply ignore such aural distractions, like I try to ignore the cat crawling across my back when I am grazing betwixt Mistress's shapely thighs.

But I had a feeling that this was my adult daughter, calling about arrangements for me to collect my cute grandsons later in the AM and take them swimming at our athletic club.  And since she's one of those contrarian millenials who has no cell phone and relies on a land line, I knew I had to pick up or maybe miss her all together once she left the house.

Mistress was none too happy when I ceased my plunging into those delightful clean shaven folds to take this call, though she understood once I provided an explanation. Sure enough, it was my daughter and we established our co-ordiantes quickly, with minimal small talk.

And I was extremely fortunate that Mistress welcomed me back into her arms (and folds), my cock still amply attuned to resuming its prior activity con mucho gusto.  After all, she'd already had at least two cums. She might have deferred me to later, I suppose.

Once we had resumed, I commented on the unfortuante interruption.

"Do you think it occurs to a 34 year old woman with 2 kids that when she calls her 62 year old Dad at 9 am, be might be having sex with his wife?"

"I doubt it Slave.... we probably have more sex than they do."

She's probably right. Slave is a lucky guy after all.

Speaking of luck, well the WC's Donkeys ran out of it last night. I watched that entertaining game until shortly after halftime, when the Broncos were up against the dreaded Crows 28-21, after two kick returns for TDs.

No way PFM loses at home with that type of an assist from his special teams, right?

We go to see Zero Dark Thirty (an amazing movie BTW) and get home at around 10 pm . I check ESPN. Incredibly, they tell me that the Mile High team ends up losing in double overtime. Did they all light up some of that newly legalized ganja on the sidelines after that kick-off return to start the 2nd half? Were they all humming "Rocky Mountain High" rather than listening to PFM bark audibles? I mean,  that is a collapse that only my Pussycats could pull off!

Miguel, I'm thinking the Donkeys  might have been better off keeping Tim Tebow, who got them through at least one play-off game last year, right?

Did the Good Lord intervene and punish John Elway last night for forsaking his chosen one?

Better luck next season, WC. Maybe the good Lord will have bigger equines to fry. (or would it be send to the glue factory?)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Our Senior Correspondent Jockies for a Year End Bonus

Molly and Mick had a tranquil day here in River City. After our wake-up sex there was a trip to the gym and other weekend errands to perform. (They included me listening to my mother recite the same litany of gripes about her condo and other family members that help facilitate transcendental meditation for me ... as in letting my mind wander to a better place while murmuring "oh really" over and over again).

After some work at home we took our daughter to see a new movie, Young Adult, amusing enough with Charlize Thereon playing a "Former Prom Queen from Hell" seeking to reclaim her long lost boyfriend 20 years later. It included close ups of the seemingly painful process Mistress goes through when getting her "feet done" every few weeks. Thank God I was born a man!  Then again, maybe I need to learn to do that process myself to become a more complete servant to Mistress's needs, just as Tammy does over at All Mine.

We did share emails with our local "fan", R who Mistress invited over for a drink sometime when our mutual schedules clear. If you scroll back to yesterday's blog comments you will see he left one as "DC". How weird is it to have a reader who lives just a short stroll away!

But today's blog comes to you courtesy of Donna. AS she notes, the WC has been contributing more of late, and his "how to" blogs have enjoyed amazing popularity among our "vast" audience. AS you can see from the list to the right, his tutorial on "ass fucking" has not reached #1 in the charts, surpassing even our Contract.  No doubt he's thinking about becoming a free agent now, and I'll be hearing from his Agent, some fast talking guy who no doubt also represents his latest sports hero, Tim "God made me do it" Tebow. So who can blame Donna for trying to emulate the WC's inimitable style.

 
Yes! Yes! Yes! Life is good!

The workmen have left with their toolboxes in hand and their low rider jeans, well, riding low. The sawdust has settled, the furniture is in place, and the dishes and pots and pans are in their new cupboards. 

And now, drum roll please, Bill and I can get back to having BDSM passion, fun and sex on a spontaneous basis! Woo-hoo!

The other big excitement for me is that our wedding anniversary is next week. Bill and I were married 33 years ago in the living room of a small house with immediate family in attendance. I will always remember the look of horror on his mother's face that her son was actually going through with this. Although, should I happen to forget, I have my wedding photos where she has two distinct looks, one is abject horror and the other is similar to that of an airline passenger frantically scrambling through the magazines and emergency brochures, desperate to find a barf bag before it's too late. It was too late, and the photos have become a source of great laughter for our kids.


And now it is time for my focus to return to the sex blog. It dawned on me recently that the WC is fast gaining on my word count for the year, and I can't allow that. If there is to be a bonus this year, it will be mine!  I know his posts are read more often than any others except for that one of Mick's, so I need to get on the stick here. After examining the WC's columns and comments, the best I can figure out is that he leaves off the spell-check on his computer while writing and deliberately omits punctuation. He also uses words like ass, cunt and diaper position over and over, and his columns are very short and instructional. 

Okay, I'm ready now, here we go.


Instructuns for a hot spancking:
For optimmum swenging room put the femail over ur lap or over a pilow at the egde of the bed

Let her feet dagnle off to the floor but with her cunt positoned so u can esily reach it

rub her ass and put a fingre in her cunt and rub aorund until she moans

As soon as she relxases, give a solid sweeng of your open hand to her ass
repate eght or ten tmes and then chek her cunt agen

if she is wet, use your fingres to breng her to the egde of cumming - than stop

repeete the spaking of her ass and tell her she cant cum til u say so

when she is screemin that she has to cum or she will die, giv her one more swat
than tell her to cum
repete until u have a hot hand and she has a red hot ass...


No, no, no!  I give up! I just can't write like the WC. *head hanging low*

For now, I'm going to go sit in my quiet, workman free kitchen, have a cup of coffee and ponder all this. 

Donna

AS Donna has so ably demonstrated, it's not quite as easy to rip off the WC's unique writing style as one would think. Maybe I should actually listen to that fast talking agent when he calls. I don't want to get outbid by Sin, Aisha, or Riff Dog or we'll never ever make that 100 Top Sex Bloggers List!










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Molly and Mick Collins