Back Burner Guy

A few weeks back, this blog quoted an article about the propensity for women and men to have a “back up” lined up, just in case.  Last night, as we retired to our bed, the notion was confirmed as  I noticed Mistress texting a way on her I-phone. I try not to cross examine Mistress when she’s communicating, but in this case I didn’t have to…..

“It’s my old college boyfriend again, slave…..every few months he pops up again…..”

“So is he trying to get into your pants, Mistress?” (I usually get to the point quickly).

“I’m sure he does, slave….but it always starts out with a ‘how are you doing’, then evolves to ‘wouldn’t it be great to run into each other again…..’

“Have you told him you have a ‘free pass’, Mistress?”

“Nooooo……”

(This was said as if I was a little crazy, and that she really did not want to wave the green flag so clearly to this dude.)

“Isn’t this the guy that used to tie you up in his dorm room?”

“It us slave…. it was my first kinky sex…..”

“Was it hot?”

“It was slave…..”

At some point, Mistress signed off, and returned to her kindle before nodding off, with the confidence that “former boyfriend” was still simmering on the back burner.

But before we sign off, what sound like some final reporting by our Western Correspondence on the wind-up of those Winter Olympics he dropped by last week.

Well Boss.....

OK OK OK!   I know you want to hear the story of the Chech Chick Double Gold!    Well, first of all, lets dispense with the story that Vonn is from Minnesota.

NO!!!!!!   she is Ski Club Vail since she was a little runt..... 

So is Shiffrin........     And they have a healthy hatred of Ski Steamboat (and Breckenridge, Copper, Aspen and Key too!!!!)

Not to mention The Butte or that little tiny resort down south of the border......   [In  the fuck--g desert BTW!]

Hell............Moab has better sand skiing than that little backwater!!!!!!

Anyway, the Commies over in Steamboat decided to teach this Commie chick from a country in Eastern Europe how to ski on snow skis 

SHE WAS A FUCKING BOARDER FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are right BOSS....She is pretty HOT!!!!!!!!

Nevertheless Boss,  I, as your expert commentator am not that surprised.     [But very impressed!!!!!]

Most kids in Colorado can ski and board............they just chose a favorite.....    

Butt both for GOLD??????????

Count the poor old broken down WC as Impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well, got to go boss.....

Lindsey is flying into DIA tonight and asked me to pick her up.  She is bringing this Voodoo guy from Kenya she met in Seoul to cast a spell on Steamboat.

How about Kyle Mack's Silver though!!!!!   He landed "a double cork 1440, Bloody Dracula!  

Love you boss,

WC

Good luck picking up Lindsay, WC…. You're going to "pick Lindsay up"? I hope we’ll see a shot of you giving her a ride on your shoulders to the baggage claim where her 30 pairs of skis will be piling up. Maybe she'd be smarter to skip the slopes for a while and head to the beach.

Punishment Coming?

This morning I woke up with the thought that we might get some high class journalism from our Olympic correspondent.  After all there was the arrival of the apple of the President’s eye in South Korea for the closing ceremonies.  Hopefully the WC would get some revealing photos to share with our readers? With Jared away (and working on that security clearance) the kitten will play?

And then there was the big news about the USA Ice ladies claiming gold over their nemeses from Canada.  That must have been a racy locker room celebration!

And how about that surprising victory of USA curling over Sweden. So much winning! (And is curling just bowling on ice? Do you "play" better after a few beers?)

But instead I woke to learn that the WC had already abandoned his post for some golfing back home:

BOSS!!!!!!!                   So, boss  I'm sitting in the "MENS LOUNGE ONLY!" at my golf club.   Trust me boss it is nice!!!!!!  

Oak locker that are the size of a Diva's dressing room, stream rooms, saunas all over,  many, many  asian massage ladies, (all wearing French maid uniforms BTW!) 

Jacuzzi's all over the place, vibrating lounging chairs, Several poker tables, (BOSS!..... all these guys play poker bare naked!!!!!!!!!)   (Golfers you know!)

These tubs you stick your feet in with Epsom salt and gently massages your sore feet after golf,  (feels heavenly!!!), magical asian pedicures, (manicures are complimentary......long finger nails can fuck with your swing you know.....)

And best of all!!!!!!!!!!!   This chick that puts hot rocks right on your package!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boss,        I could go on and on!   You got to come out here and spend a day with me at the spa......  I mean golf course:)

Anyway boss the point of this story is...............   

SO......... I'm laying there getting a massage from "Lucy"......... I'm pretty sure she is Cantonese but it is hard to tell from her accent.....     Anyway, I chose the "magic butterfly massage".     According to the menu it is a:

"Sensual finger up your posterior while she lovingly massages your male stalk."

GREAT I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well boss....................  I was right!!!!!     Was fucking fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well,          I forgot the point of this story ........just wanted to earn my keep today, boss......

Tell Molly "Love you baby"!      

On the QT Molly.................Let me know on the "sly".... if you locked boss up for 7 more days...........It would make me very happy! 

Love you baby,

Your big teddy bear:)

WC

Thanks for the “happy ending” WC.  At least it’s good to know that you survived that late night trip to the ski jump hill and UCTMW won’t have to pick up the tab for your Medi-Vac from the Far East. 

But please don’t give Molly any ideas.  She already says I’m due for a punishment this weekend on some sort of Trumped up charge.  Not 7 days in the cage too!

Will President's Day Ever Be the Same?

Here in River City, Mistress and slave celebrated President's Day with a long bike ride after some invigorating wake up sex at the UCTMW World HQ. In the meantime, down in Florida families buried their gunned down kids, while, just a few miles away our current President stopped his angry tweeting long enough to go golfing at one of his many resorts. President's Day just isn't what it used to be is it?  Even the Presidents' Day Mattress store sales may have to think of a new name. Fortunately, we have the Winter Olympics to distract us, with (very blunt) cutting edge coverage courtesy of our Western Correspondent:

  Thanks Molly!!!   You are exactly right............  Mick was very mean to me about my expense account............I warned him but he seems just obsessed with money!   You know Vlad and Mr. T never worry about money....those boys know how to do it right.  

Remember that time on the Black sea at Vladdie's little vacation home.  You remember the time Vladdie took you horse back riding without his shirt?   Yeah! that time!!!

Talk about international cuckolding!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway,  please do me a big favor and tell Mick to stop sending me these bothersome emails about my expense account.  I'm just about at the end of my rope!!!       Please inform him that  I saved him at least 30 k in gas money for Borry's plane last night......

Remember----------------[Vlad bought that house in The Keys you guys couldn't unload,]   for 25 large......  ( I mean really large!)  So tell Mick that I don't want to hear about it anymore.........

Enough said, but I suggest  two months...........................................

Okay Mick, I did do some reporting (at great inconvenience to me personally BTW.)         I did meet Lindsey last night at a Korean wine bar for an interview.

She was deep in her cups but just kept repeating    "Why the fuck do they teach chick  Chech snowboarders how to ski in Steamboat??????  I always knew Steamboat was a communist country!!!!"

Poor Lindsey.... I left her when she was texting Tiger.     The last text I saw from Tiger was          "Keep your chin up baby, at least your wife didn't hit you square in the head  with a 9 iron........."       "L" did not seem impressed .............she just had a sad look on her face......   Was hard to watch boss........

Therefore, boss ....... I have decided to suspend my reporting duties here in the Koreas ( it is just too emotionally taxing for the poor old WC.)

BUT GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     Bory invited me and plus 1 to this party tonight.       Get this........... they have this chick who looks just like Hillary who is going to squat down and pee all over this guy who looks just like Mr. T.   (don't tell anybody boss but Borry told us it might really be  Mr. T. under a Bernie mask!).  He claims they dressed Mr. T. up to look like Mike Pence and smuggled him into the Koreas.   

Anyway boss, got to go, Plus One said "I don't believe it is really Mr. T but If its Pence I got to see this!!!!!!"

Your intrepid reporter,

WC

Shame on you, WC. So busy partying with the man pulling the strings on the leader of the free world that you failed to get the inside story on that French ice dancing costume malfunction.  Let's hope you don't miss any developments on the lady's downhill. Will Lindsay wear her WW outfit?  Or will it be Captain America?