Happy Thanksgiving. Now, Eat!

Here at the UCTMW World HQ we had a prequel feast last night, including Molly's sister and brother in law in town for the holiday, my daughter, son-in-law and two cute grandsons who will be at his family's ritual feasting today, and Molly's mother, the Dowager Domme of the family.  We did a good job of avoiding any major confrontations or faux pas, holding our fire until the birds are served tomorrow.

(Well there was one little "yuck" moment, with Molly's sister making fun over grilled Salmon of some little boy on her husband's side of the family because he likes artsy crafty things, makes himself bracelets, and wanted to dress like a girl for Halloween. She didn't know that my grandsons love artsy crafty things, and my daughter had put a whole raft of them on her suggested Christmas gifting list. Several of us swiftly steered the conversation in the direction of "isn't it good that kids don't have to fit into the old stereotypes anymore".  Not sure she got the hint.)

The house is already filling up. Our Cute Co-Ed is here, beginning to fret about what happens after she graduates in June. (her parents are fretting too!). And this morning when I went down to brew coffee, humming some Holiday tune, I was startled to discover her semi-boyfriend asleep on our couch.  Where did he come from? And is it good or bad that he's not sharing CCO's bed?

Even with the extra bodies here, Mistress and Slave will definitely engage in some stifled wake up sex. If we are going to indulge in rituals today, we might as well start with a good one.  There will be some bike riding, some brush clearing for me, and a visit to my cranky mother, who is long past joining us for dinner. I will almost miss her annoyed demeanor at the table, and her grousing about no one eating her store bought sweet potato pie with the coolwhip can beside it,  in favor of the thick creamy home made concoctions prepared my Molly's mom.

This brings us to the subject of buffer guests. Those friends, work colleagues or even total strangers  in high demand to provide some insurance that the family gathering will not quickly devolve into an ugly showdown where the scabs of generational resentment and decades old petty insults,  are picked apart and rubbed raw like the carcass of a fattened turkey's carcass.

Family members are much more reluctant to remind you that you (or your children) have gained weight, that you wore that outfit last year, or that they make more money than you, if your old college pal, or your executive assistant and her husband are there at the table, right?

Plus there's always a chance that one of your guests teenaged kids will get high with you on the deck, or hook up with one of your kids or their cousins in a guest bedroom while dessert is served.  That's better than the threat of  incest.

Of course, inviting buffer guests to defuse family tensions is a tradition as long as Thanksgiving itself. Why do you think the "native Americans"  invited those fancy panted Puritans to what is reputed to be the first Thanksgiving?  To teach them table manners?

But the competition for buffer guests is getting more intense with each passing Thanksgiving. I've heard that instead of being grateful for the invite to over-indulge with you and your "loving" family, they are comparing invitations up to the last minute, and asking the successful bidder to "sweeten" the deal. And I'm not talking about letting them take home left over sweet potato pie and cool whip.

Note to Self: Next year launch an Uber like App to match potential buffer guests in the n neighborhood with families in desperate need. It could even show "times of arrival" and "times the pies get cut" to match the hungry with the desperate for diversion!  Heck, there could even be "advanced searches" that identify whether any of the guests will be wearing cock cages!

Happy Thanksgiving dear readers! We hope all of you make it through the most caloricly challenging holiday of them all without insulting (or being insulted by) a relative or being disowned.