Our Senior Correspondent Discovers a Kindred Spirit

We haven't heard much from Donna, our Senior Correspondent, lately. I have suspected she's been flirting with some other bloggers somewhere, Or maybe using her vaunted refugee blogger protection program to find shelter for some other bloggers forced by exposure to go on the lam.

But then the other day, what shows up in my in box but a "tip" about a breaking story from the left coast that sounds like something Donna herself could get in trouble doing:

79 YEAR OLD WOMAN ELECTROCUTED AFTER FALLING ASLEEP WITH ‘DILDO’ INSIDE HER.

CALIFORNIA – A 79-year-old woman, Harlen Green, was found unresponsive in her Beverly Hills home after an unfortunate incident with a “personal massager.”

According to reports, Green’s daughter called 911 after she was unable to get a hold of her mother. Police were able to access the house where they found the elderly woman half dressed, with the device still inside her. Green had electrocution marks that ran up her stomach and down her arms. EMTs removed the bloody device and turned it over to investigators.

After recovering, Green told investigators that she likes to “give herself a little massage now and then” to ease her loneliness. “I haven’t had a man friend in my life for a really long time,” Green told police. “So I started to collect personal massagers. I have a Smoothie V, Pocket Rocket, 2 in One, at least 10 different ones so I don’t get bored. But the Hulk, it really rocked my world, and I guess I fell asleep. It gave me a real zap in the gap!”

 

Family members say they were shocked and appalled, as Harlen Green is known for her cookie baking for the neighborhood kids. Green’s son said he has confiscated all of her “massagers” and will keep a better eye on his mother.

Donna mentioned that she found it compelling that Mrs. Green had names for her many vibrators. 

Well Donna, not unlike Mrs. Green's distraught family members, I am "shocked and appalled" that it's been so long that we have heard from you.  I am sure our readers want to learn more about what trouble you've been getting into in the hills of NC.  

But thanks for checking in. And remember to disconnect the vibrators before you go to bed tonight!

Our Dinner with Francois

You may recall Francois... he still appears on our masthead, though it's been a while since we've engaged in any of his zany sexual adventures.... you may recall the Home Cummimg Weekend nearly two years ago, which led to a worrisome security breach that forced us to go "On the Lam" for a while until the threat passed.

Well he and his co-habitant (we'll call her the Lovely D for this purpose) came to Mistress's birthday party recently, and last night we joined then with another couple on their boat, moored down on the big river about a 40 minute drive from us in a more rural area. The boat is cozy, with sleeping quarters below for at least two couples and a nice deck for partying either where it is moored, or out on the big river.

There was plenty of wine and other food, a bit of dancing, some funny conversation, and an invitation to spend the night, but nothing kinky to report. And the humidity and the thought of waking far from home on what should be a pretty relaxed Sunday got us to leave at dusk, rather than sleep over.

We did get to check out some of the local boating color, including this fellow, who participated in a "yacht club" dinner with a group of families that we joined:

No, friends, the local river boating scene is not in the sophisticated realm of barging in the Loire Valley that Francois favors.... but it has its simple pleasures. I did note that there was a box of rope on Francois's deck, purportedly for nautical knot tying instructions. No one opened it up while we were there, but who knows what happened once the guest went away and Francois and the Lovely D were left to their own devices.

As we were leaving, Francois  was encouraging Mistress to come back and join him some weekday to just "hang out" and use the boat as an alternative workplace..... there's even wifi!  I wonder what he has in mind?

And speaking of devices with wifi, you can bet Slave was a little surprised to see and ad for one pop up on his workplace inbox the other day. "Vibease" It's some new high-tech device that links a lady's insertable vibrator to her I-phone, and synchs the "good parts" of streaming audio books to the vibrator to allow for varying intensities. It says it can even be remotely controlled by your distant partner. It's something to put on your Christmas list for the "Mistress who has everything" (or submissive too, I suppose....)

Not sure what the male equivalent of such a device would involve.... but it's good to know that the creative minds out there have something more than violent video games and drones to work on!

But here it's almost time to wake Mistress from her beauty rest on what should be a lazy Sunday for some low tech wake-up sex!