We haven't heard much from Donna, our Senior Correspondent, lately. I have suspected she's been flirting with some other bloggers somewhere, Or maybe using her vaunted refugee blogger protection program to find shelter for some other bloggers forced by exposure to go on the lam.But then the other day, what shows up in my in box but a "tip" about a breaking story from the left coast that sounds like something Donna herself could get in trouble doing:
79 YEAR OLD WOMAN ELECTROCUTED AFTER
FALLING ASLEEP WITH ‘DILDO’ INSIDE HER.
CALIFORNIA – A 79-year-old
woman, Harlen Green, was found unresponsive in her Beverly Hills home after an
unfortunate incident with a “personal massager.”
After
recovering, Green told investigators that she likes to “give herself a little
massage now and then” to ease her loneliness. “I haven’t had a man friend in my
life for a really long time,” Green told police. “So I started to collect
personal massagers. I have a Smoothie V, Pocket Rocket, 2 in One, at least 10
different ones so I don’t get bored. But the Hulk, it really rocked my world,
and I guess I fell asleep. It gave me a real zap in the gap!”
Family
members say they were shocked and appalled, as Harlen Green is known for her
cookie baking for the neighborhood kids. Green’s son said he has confiscated
all of her “massagers” and will keep a better eye on his mother.
Donna mentioned that she found it compelling that Mrs. Green had names for her many vibrators.
Well Donna, not unlike Mrs. Green's distraught family members, I am "shocked and appalled" that it's been so long that we have heard from you. I am sure our readers want to learn more about what trouble you've been getting into in the hills of NC.
But thanks for checking in. And remember to disconnect the vibrators before you go to bed tonight!
Thanks for the reminder, Mick. And you may be interested to know that in my response to that article I suggested that should her son get rid of her vibrators, Mrs. Green would do well to get rid of her son. Can you imagine the gall? Taking away his mother's vibrators!
ReplyDeleteI was also "shocked and appalled" about the insinuation that a woman who uses a vibrator would be an inappropriate person to bake cookies for children. I just don't get the connection there.
And yes, I know I promised you a post some time ago, but I've been busy getting back into the dating game and learning how to be a cougar. Oh, did you want me to write about that? How about toward the end of the week? Would that be okay, boss?