Showing posts with label habituation to a stimulus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label habituation to a stimulus. Show all posts

Friday, March 1, 2019

Bored Wife Syndrome? In Search of a Cure.


Mistress is the one away this weekend, off to visit our daughter down in GA. We had some great “reunion” sex on Sunday evening, and more on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. One accelerant that stoked our sexual fires was Mistress recounting her “while slave is away” sleepover with her old (and maybe current) lover Jay.
“It was hot, slave.  Like old times. I think he missed me……”
“I’m sure he did, Mistress.”
My guess is Jay will be coming around again soon. Though I think he likes it a lot more when he is the only man in the house. Sharing is not one of his strong suits.
Sadly, with Mistress away, slave doesn’t have much blogging inspiration to work with (other than Mistress’s description of the two business men who chatted her up at the ATL airport on Thursday morning).  
SO let's discuss a recent Atlantic article,  The Bored Sex, which validates our embrace of the cuckold lifestyle.  Hint: “The Bored Sex” is not male.  As the lead suggests “women, more than men, tend to be stultified by long term exclusivity…..” Here’s a taste:
Andrew Gotzis, a Manhattan psychiatrist with an extensive psychotherapy practice, has been treating a straight couple, whom we’ll call Jane and John, for several years. They have sex about three times a week, which might strike many as enviable, considering that John and Janewho are in their 40shave been together for nearly two decades. Based on numbers alone, one might wonder why they need couples counseling at all.
But only one of them is happy with the state of play. And it isn’t Jane.
“The problem is not that they are functionally unable to have sex, or to have orgasms. Or frequency. It’s that the sex they’re having isn’t what she wants,” Gotzis told me in a recent phone conversation. And like other straight women he sees, “she’s confused and demoralized by it. She thinks there’s something wrong with her.” John, meanwhile, feels criticized and inadequate. Mostly he can’t understand why, if his wife is having sex with him and having orgasms, she wants more. Or different.
The article quotes a variety of studies suggesting that women can more quickly get bored with monogamous sexual relationships than their male partners.

Although most people in sexual partnerships end up facing the conundrum biologists call “habituation to a stimulus” over time, a growing body of research suggests that heterosexual women, in the aggregate, are likely to face this problem earlier in the relationship than men. And that disparity tends not to even out over time. In general, men can manage wanting what they already have, while women struggle with it.

So how does a modern woman avoid that dreaded “habituation to a stimulus”? (i.e.,  hubbie’s same old, same old cock?)

Obviously, look for new stimuli!

Although this article mentioned strategies like toys, lingerie and even open marriages, the glaring hole was cuckoldry (with or without a FemDom chaser).

But it’s so obvious! If women are more likely to succumb to  sexual blahs than their male mates, then why not open things up for the female partner to acquire a “side dish” (or a variety of side dishes) as a relationship matures?

What’s good about a  “sidedish” is that it can be more readily replaced or recycled than a “main course”. Tired of fries?  How about some sweet potatoes?  Grilled eggplant? Or even deep fried Brussell sprouts? They all go well with a steak!

If the husband hopes to remain the “main course”, it behooves him to make sure there is a compelling variety of “side dishes" on the menu.

And if it just so happens that a bride’s enjoyment of a side dish (or three) is a source of stimulus for a sub-hubby, all the better!