Slave Rebellion

Dear Mistress,

I know I am risking a severe punishment, but I've decided there is one directive you've given me on this trip that I can no longer follow:

NO MORE MASTURBATING!

After all those years following the "no touch rule" I thought it would be a nice opportunity to get re-acquainted with my right hand. So when you told me I had to do it every day, I thought "wow. now that should be fun!"

But like too much ice cream, or the day after Holloween as a kid: too much of a good thing is just, well,  too much.

After all,  in these years of training, you've wired me to focus on pleasing you. My greatest satisfaction comes not from the daily sticky discharge of some bodily fluids, but hearing your moans of satisfaction as my lips and tongue ply their experienced craftsmanship on your clean shaven folds.

 Plus it seems so unfair that you've had to stifle your sexual needs while rooming on the road with your Mom. Now that you are in Delhi, maybe you can find some sexy British businessman, or hunky Indian lad to salve your needs, just to tide you over for our afternoon encounter on Monday after I collect you at the airport.

Yes, I know there are guys out there who find no greater pleasure than in taking matters into their own hands. The type that can go through vats and vats of high end lubricants comparable to the motor pool at the Air Force Academy.

But I know now that's not me! Indeed, in retrospect I am starting to wonder whether this was a lesson you were trying to teach me. That by overexposing me to "self-abuse" I would realize what a hollow and unsatisfying experience it is compared to pleasuring you and the generous reciprocation you've provided on a daily basis whenever we are together. You are the Tom Sawyer of Mistresses, and I am the dork you've persuaded to paint your fence for free.

I truly am a pampered house slave!

So I hope you won't take my insubordination too hard. But I am now on a masturbation strike! Call me the Spartacus of the Carrot Cuffers if you will. But unlike Edward Snowden I am not seeking asylum in Moscow. I'm turning myself into the proper authorities - you - for whatever punishment you deem fit.

Your defiant Slave,

Mick

The WC Applies for WC

Was it only a few short weeks ago that we were planning to prune our staff here at UCTMW... go back to basics and strip away all these burdensome overhead costs?  With all that extra expense associated with Obamacare kicking in, why would our vast media empire want a bunch of under-productive staff members to plunge over the fiscal cliff with us?

But then we flew out to Denver to pick up the Company AMEX card and the keys to our Mountain Zone branch office from our Western Correspondent and.....

Well Mistress's hormones overrode her common sense, and our austerity plans were tossed out the window. She renewed the WC's employment deal, while diddling with his non-compete. And we actually got one whole post from him.

But Now....

Word broke yesterday that the WC was under the knife for some type of "injury". Of course, your executive editor can't disclose the details due to various overly burdensome federal laws protecting the disclosure of employee medical information. Let's simply say that the WC is so laid up that he is asserting that he has temporarily suspended his favorite recreational activity. Something he reputedly does four to five times / day, driving up demand for industrial quantities of premium lubricants.

And then.....

Here at the UCTMW World HQ we just received notice from the Colorado Bureau of Worker's Compensation that the WC has made a claim that his surgery arose from a job related injury, potentially forcing up our premiums going forward, and creating another barrier to a future lay-off. That's right, if we try to fire the WC next year as part of a cost saving plan, or to replace him with someone more familiar with periods or comas, he'll claim it was just a pretext for exercising his right to seek worker's comp for a work related injury!

The WC's initial claim form does not disclose the work related "injury" that led to his purported surgery.  Suzanne over at All Mine wondered yesterday whether it was a slip and fall on some of that foam at Scarlett Ranch that WC encountered during his "investigative reporting" at that esteemed institution last summer.

Could he claim that the bicycle crash that occurred two years ago, while he was coaching Mistress on the use of her Hitachi, created some latent injury?  Or was it that frost bitten cock incident?

Or was it simply wear and tear as a result of years of excessive self-abuse? Surely UCTMW cannot be held accountable for a lifetime of wasteful excess! I mean, why should a current employer have to pick up the tab for the therapy to repair the consequences of, or cure that long running malady?

Mistress would love to supervise personally the very thorough independent medical exam required to get to the bottom of this and throw out the WC's WC claim.

But I have a feeling it will be a while before Miguel feels "Up" to it.

In the meantime, feel free to send him a "get well quick" card! Maybe your good vibes will help mitigate this unexpected drag on profitability here at UCTMW.