Science Wednesday: It's In Her Kiss

As you can see from today's illustration, Mistress elected the boots and bare legs look yesterday when she ventured downtown for some work meetings.

"It was supposed to hit 60 today, Slave....that's too hot for tights."

But she acknowledged that it seemed a little colder than that for mid-afternoon.

"I notice that some of the ladies here have them on Slave...."

SHe gave me a hard time when I confessed I had noticed as well. You can't teach an old Slave new tricks, I suppose. And where's the harm in being "observant"?

Mistress camped out in my office for a good part of the afternoon, since we had plans to meet an old friend after work for a drink at a nearby bar. It's one of those things you can do spontaneously with an empty nest. And we enjoyed trading stories and speculating about an upcoming election with him, a former local poobah, and the other self-important political figures slumming at this particular  bar last night.

Of course, before we ventured out, Mistress received the sort of attention from my lips and tongue that she has become accustomed to. I wonder if the politicians we pal-ed around with last night could detect the musky juices that no doubt clung to my cheeks and chin as we bellied up to the bar? No, they were probably more focused on flirting with Mistress than any detritus in my 6 pm shadow.

But today's entry is not about randy politicians. I'm focused instead on a scientific study derived from an on-line survey about the role of kissing in our contemporary mating practices, courtesy of yesterday's Times. Here's the link :Now a Kiss Isn't Just a Kiss.

It seems that not all of us use kissing for the same purpose:

The participants generally rated kissing in casual relationships as most important before sex, less important during sex, even less important after sex and least important “at other times.” (To clarify: researchers defined kissing as “on the lips or open-mouth (French).”)

Past research has shown that three types of people tend to be choosier in selecting mates who are genetically fit and compatible: women, those who rate themselves highly attractive, and those favoring casual sex. In this study, these people said that kissing was important mostly at the start of a relationship.

That may be because for these individuals, kissing turns out to be a quick, easy way to sample a partner’s suitability — a subconscious stop-go light. For them, “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” might not be far off the mark.

After that first kiss, these types are much more likely than other subjects to change their minds about a potential partner, researchers found. If it’s not in his kiss, forget about him.

But other people might use different criteria to size up their mates: men, those who rate themselves as less sexually attractive, and people looking for commitment. In the grand search for a partner, these individuals screen for people who seem to have the inclination and resources for the long haul. And for them, this study showed, kissing has a lower priority at the beginning of dating.

Particularly for men and women looking for long-term relationships, kissing serves other purposes, like relationship upkeep. They would use their orbicularis oris muscle to mediate, ameliorate and sustain their connections. They rated kissing equally important before sex and at “other times not related to sex.” For these participants, kissing was least important during sex.

So it seems that a woman who sees herself as attractive, and is open to a casual fling might use kissing as a critical way to do a quick inventory on the liklihood of potential partner's compatibility. You're hot, or you're not, based on that first kiss. Blow that chance and it's to the back of the line for you, dude.

A woman more interested in a long term relationship, or who might consider herself a little less attractive, wouldn't view that first kiss as critical as whether her potential partner's American Express card is Gold, Silver, or Platinum.

It got me thinking about my first kiss with Mistress. Actually, I had tried to muster the courage a few times, after we had come together as volunteers on a political campaign. For a while she dodged my clumsy advances in a way that made me think she did not even consider me in that way. (Since we were married to different people at the time, this might have been a very natural reaction on her part to the flirtations of some older guy.)

The break through came one day in my office, a meeting she took the initiative to set up. I should have known once that meeting concluded with a kiss  that my fate was sealed, and that it was just a matter of time before I would become her abject Slave.  

But I suppose I am a slow learner. 

In any event, I am eternally grateful that I seemed to pass that initial screening. It was just a matter of days before I was where I was forever destined to be: my face buried between those delicious thighs, accumulating musky juices on my late afternoon shadow.

That "kiss" must have passed her discerning standards as well.