When Slave is Away, Mistress Will.....

Amazingly, Slave arrived home almost exactly when scheduled last night. Mistress tore herself away from a little neighborhood gathering, and I collected her at a little cul de sac up the hill from the UCTMW World HQ.

After a kiss across the console, I asked her how the party was.

"Lots of my high school classmates there....All the ladies wanted to know where Mick was, Slave....."

"I don't even know them, Mistress...."

"Yes, I know, but they seem to get all antsy when a woman shows up solo without her husband in tow....."

"Only if the woman looks like you Mistress...."

"Hmmmm.... that might be it....."

At home, Slave pored some wine, but it was not long before we adjourned to the executive suite to "catch up".

Mistress informed me earlier in the day that she had invited her former lover, Jay over for a salad of her making at lunch time, and naturally, I speculated what they had been up to since it seemed like I had not heard from her for a good block of time at mid-day.

"We chatted.... I made us a nice smoked salmon salad...."

"But did the clean shaven folds get attended to, Mistress....."

"No Slave.... but there was some making out on the couch after lunch.... very high school....."

"Sounds like he wants you. but he's confused....."

"Very confused, Slave...."

By now Slave had stripped away his travel clothes and was trying to make up for lost time, settling between Mistress's spread thighs and commencing the worship she surely deserved. The conversational thread was lost as I made sure she had a rousing cum before I asked for permission to break my long and torturous sexual fast.

When the dust settled in our bed, Mistress confirmed that she had not been fasting herself.

"In case they are curious, you can tell our readers that the Hitachi was put to good use in your absence,, Slave.... Mistress does not need to follow the 'no touch' rule...."

Certainly not.

We also laughed a bit about a message she had received from an AM suitor earlier in the day. I had noted it as her social secretary, and suggested she read it to.  It came from an "attached" male from an ex-urban town to our North, a place we sometimes refer to as Boehner-ville based on their Congressional representation and Tea Party mindset. This fellow had taken upon himself to send Mistress one of those tacky self portraits, using a bathroom mirror and clunky I-Pad in his hand to show her his "six pack", and had then sent an unsolicited soft core porn "story", as follows:

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I arrange a special room for something I have wanted to do with you for along time. You enter the room and we almost tear each others clothes off and soon we are standing together with just our skin seperating our two wanting wet and wanting bodies. Your sexy legs I have scene are a perfect complement to your sexy body. I take your hand and lead you into the bathroom with an oversized shower lined in marble. There are multilpe shower heads and as we step in it is like walking into a warm summer shower. I smile as I notice your beautiful body glisten in the water - you are so attractive! We lock in a long passionate kiss as the warm water coats our bodies. I feel your amazing curves against me and once again I am so turned on by you. I never want this to end. I spread soap over you shoulders and soon down to your breasts. I love them and my hands glide over and around them as I hear you begin to moan in approval. Your nipples are erect and I can tell you love it as I touch and pinch them. My hands drift to the rest of your body - spreading soap in my wandering hands on your glistening hot body. Your thighs are so smooth and as you move your legs apart my hands wander to explore the most sensitive parts of your body. We are both enjoying how I explore and touch your clit and suck on your nipples. Next, a surprise for you. I reach over and as we kiss I take a shower massage in my hand and hold it between your legs as the pulses of warm water stimulate you in pleasure as your clit approves as you moan. Our kissing is intense and the water continues to arouse you and excite you! As we kiss I tak my other hand and massage and pinch your nipples as the water contnues to excite the soft skin between your legs. The sensation after minutes and minutes of pulsing water, kissing, and caresssing lead you to the most amazing orgasm you have felt in years. The rush of feelings make you explode and we continue to kiss then embrace in a wonderful passionate moment.

Mistress was amused, but not too impressed.

"All those spelling errors Slave....."

"And a little confusion between "scene" and "seen".

We surmised that this fellow had this little tale in the can, and shared it with any woman who caught his eye. And although he did seem to have a grasp of basic punctuation, he clearly lacked the primal energy and twisted imagination of our Western Correspondent. 

"Should I bother to respond on your behalf to him, Mistress?"

"I don't think it's worth a response, Slave.... If I say something nice he'll just be encouraged to send more of that drivel. And it might be too mean to say what I really think.

Another bad sign for the AM crowd was an article we saw posted on Facebook last night, linked here. Top Ten restaurants for cheaters. 

The article purports to reflect a survey of AM users on where they might  share a meal as part of their illicit courtship mating ritual.  The gist is that it's best to use chain restaurants, which are a little larger and more anonymous. Steak houses like Morton's or Ruth Criss  are also conveniently located near downtown hotels for a quicky after the cheesecake. Fair enough I suppose, if unimaginative.  And sex on a tummy crammed with beef can be less than optimal. But at least those places  have some nice wines on the list and suitable lighting.

 

But some of the other places highlighted on the list: Cheesecake Factory. Outback Steak House.  Lobster House!

"Nothing says romance like 'all you can eat popcorn shrimp night' at Lobster House, Mistress."

"Ick...."

"But that free bib might come in handy afterwards in the parking lot, if your "date" expects a blowjob in the front seat after he treated you to that "fine dining"."

"Any guy who wanted you to meet him at Red Lobster would probably expect me to split the tab, Slave."

Maybe we need to find a more discerning pool of candidates for Mistress to select her next cuckold coupling from.