Still Horny After All These Years

Mistress and Slave have settled into a very comfortable two-a-day sexual routine here in the high desert, where right now a light and fluffy snow is falling. (Better to provide a cushion if we fall off that over-hyped fiscal cliff tonight?)

Yesterday was a relaxing one for us: morning sex, then several hours of lolling about the cabin as Slave watched  some meaningless football, and Mistress plowed through a book.

I was a little disappointed as the NFL chips fell and it became apparent that my Pussycats would be playing in Houston rather than New England this coming weekend.  Mistress and I were contemplating some sexy stakes to bet against Suzanne, Jay and Tammy over at All Mine in the event her Pats and my 'Gals had that momentous confrontation in the "wild card" round.

Oh well, maybe next year.  I don't think it's very likely the Pussycats will make it past both Houston and then the WC's Donkeys to the AFC Championship game.

At some point in early afternoon, we rallied for a cold weather, high altitude bike ride, all bundled up for temperatures at around 30 degrees. It was definitely a challenge, but we survived, ending up both sweaty and freezing by the time we slid into our snow covered drive. Then it was time for a nap, some afternoon sex, and a dinner date with some old friends from Oklahoma at an old Cantina in town, where some laid back jazz was provided by a local combo.

Both of our friends are retired from higher ed. But, amazingly, they drove out here with her parents, both in their early 90's. The close confines of an 18 hour car ride, and an overheated condo had given them a bad dose of cabin fever, so they were happy to ditch their elderly companions for an evening out with us.

They did share an amusing tale: At Christmas her Mother (the one in the early 90's) quieted the crowd with notice of an important announcement: was it plans to move into assisted living, or pass on their ample firearms collection to those more capable of a straight shot?

No, she proclaimed to all, including her grandchildren:

"I'm 93 .... and I still get horny!"

Now those are encouraging words for a sex blogger heading toward mid-60's!

Happy New Year to all of our friends, followers and lurkers!  May 2013 cum early and often for all of you, with or without a fiscal cliff to tumble down!

Ski Day

After some lovely wake-up sex here in our Mountain Hideaway, Mistress and Slave braved the crowds of Texans on Christmas break and headed to the up to the slopes on Saturday morning to exploit one of those beautiful sunny ski days.

We skied until the sun slipped below the ridge line, and the chill of a 10 degree day had its effect on fingers and toes. Then we stuck around at the Lodge a little later than normal to listen to some local musicians and enjoy some apres ski beverages.

By the time we pulled back into our snow covered "driveway", the sun was down and the Western sky was afire with those lovely reds and purples. We slipped into bed for a quick nap, bodies fried, rallying 90 minutes or so later to build a fire and fix a simple dinner. Slave enjoyed snuggling against Mistress who was too tired to strip of those sexy black ski tights.

It seemed we left all of our energy on the slopes.

And this morning, this pampered house slave's body is aching from every muscle. It almost feels like Mistress had me plow the back forty yesterday.

Maybe I need to call the rather odd, long bearded fellow we met at a picnic table outside the Espresso hut yesterday. We got talking - he lives in the neighborhood and his wife said she teaches yoga. Then he slipped me his card, muttering something about "healing."

It turns out that he is a "manual therapist and gifted clairvoyant", as well as a "Physical Pain & Emotional Trauma Release Specialist." Here is his web site: http://www.khalsahealth.com/.

When I showed Mistress his card we got talking about the scope of the services he was offering.

"So he can manipulate your back and predict the future all in one session, Mistress...."

I suppose you could save cash and time by consolidating massage and soothsayer appointments.

"Do you think there is a "clairvoyant" trade association that licenses him? And provides CCE?"

It did give us an idea though. If we sign this guy up to treat the UCTMW staff, maybe we could save money on those skyrocketing Worker's Comp premiums that the WC has been generating.

"Better yet, let's have him interview staff members before we hire them. He could predict which ones are inclined to crash their bikes during phone sex, or let their cocks get frostbite. "

I'll be giving this guy a call today.

Hunkered Down

There's plenty of snow on the ground here, a big change since our last visit a few weeks back. And the ski slopes await us today. But yesterday we elected to do little of consequence and just enjoy some time here alone.

Of course, there was some cuddly wake-up sex. Then Mistress decided to join in a local Yoga session, just down the road at a former grade school now community center.

After I collected her (we wouldn't want her to catch a chill by walking), we picked out some new light fixtures from a local potter in the neighborhood, then called an electrician he recommended.

Amazingly, the electrician answered the phone and offered to come over and look at the project in an hour! This is a genuine rarity in a laid back community where "manana" is a watch cry, and the radio ad for one service provider ends with a bold promise: "We show up!"

Slave had just built a fire, and Mistress had switched to her nightie and was reading under a warm blanket on our couch. But with the electrician promising to come it presented a scheduling challenge:

"Sex now, Slave.... or do we wait until he's done?"

Of course, Mistress and Slave do not use "manana" as our watch cry, so we headed into the remote executive suite and engaged in some more raucous sex, which sent us both off to dreamland. Luckily I woke and struggled into my jeans just before the electrician arrived.

It turned our he couldn't do the work just then, but says he'll be back Monday. Hopefully we'll get fair warning!

One thing the local paper runs is a weekly summary of amusing "Police Blotter" reports - ranging from the comic to the bizzarre - with a year end summary. I saw the attached promo in this week's edition, which leads me to conclude that there are some latent kinksters out here in the high desert too:

The fine print reads:

October 20, 2012
 4:30 pm. Miscellaneous, Civic Plaza Drive -- Caller reported that he was "playing around with his wife" and he couldn't get the handcuffs off. Caller requested to borrow the keys from the police.

Finally, Not in Kansas Anymore

Mistress and Slave finally made it to our mountain Hideaway, where we hope to hang out for the next ten days or so. Our cute Co-Ed will be joining us next week, having dodged at least one way of that long road trip with the excuse of wanting to spend the New Year with some friends back in River City.

And we didn't give her much of an argument about that, since we will certainly take full advantage of some private time here!

Even that long slog through the back roads of Western Kansas and Eastern Colorado was fun for us. Mistress reading or talking to friends. Slave zoning out on the lovely scenery and the music on our I-Pod.  Maybe this should be our next career. Do you think we could get Hitachi to pay us to be itinerant sex bloggers, sort of kinky Charles Keraults?

"I bet we may be the only adults to have sex twice within 12 hours in Russell, KS for many years, Mistress."

"You may be right Slave...."

This brought up the image of Liddy and Bob Dole going at it.

Let's not go there.

In any event, we can't help but have fun crossing America and burrowing into some of those less beaten paths. And now I know where to call in the event of a bait emergency:

 

We hope our readers and friends enjoy what's left of the holidays. We certainly plan to do just that!

Road Warriors

Mistress and Slave came to ground last night in Russell, Kansas, home of former US Senators Bob Dole and Arlen Specter. Senator Specter, of course, was famous for imagining the "magic bullet" theory to explain the assasination of JFK, as a staffer on the Warren Commission. Bob Dole, was famous for being grumpy, and referring to himself in the third person, like "Bob Dole is tired of Democrat Wars."

Snap Quiz: which one of those Senators  fathers ran a creamery and which one ran a junk yard?

In any event, we were proud of our clever and resourceful decision to hit the road at 3:30 am in order to avoid the full blast of that blizzard, even though we caught it's tail on a long slog through central Indiana and Illinois. But the sun was out once we crossed the mighty Mississippi, and that re-energized us.

Treating ourself to what surely is the finest hotel room between Salina, Kansas and the Colorado Border, we rested a bit, then mozied down to Russell's finest restaurant and lounge, a brightly lit repository of some whale size steaks and an all you can eat salad bar.

And looking around the room, you could see what happens if you eat too many of those steaks.

"These people are pretty big, Slave...."

Yup. Lots of men (and women) who had no trouble filling out their XXL overalls, some with Camo designs, some in a more fashionable  basic blue denim.

After eating more than our fill, we lumbered back to our room in the cold, and demonstrated that even after a day on the road, and very full tummies, Mistress and Slave can have some steamy sex in a cozy hotel room without anyone holding a shotgun to our heads.

Luckily, the nightlife here in Russell did not tempt us away from our toasty bed, and we slept a very long time.

But there should be time for some wake - up sex here in a moment, before we sidle up the the all-you-can eat omelet bar in the lobby of our hotel.

The car may need new shocks by the time we hit our hideaway this evening!

Report from the Westbound Escape Pod

Mistress and Slave were so desperate to blow the River City scene  that.....

Monitoring the weather reports we saw an approaching snow storm and almost cancelled Christmas dinner at our house so we could escape before snowmageddon collapsed our window of opportunity to head West.

But Sin will be happy to know we did not completely blow off our familial duties. Slave visited his grumpy mother, and we served dinner to a group of family members, including my smoked Salmon and Mistress's lasagna. And I did have the opportunity to frolic with my two cute grandsons.

Then, as the window of opportunity closed, we slept only a few hours and then hopped out of bed at 3 am to hit the highway.

Even then we spent about 3 hours in a virtual white out lumbering along at 35 MPH or so through Central Indiana and Illinois before the snow stopped as we approached St. Louis.  Now Mistress is at the controls of the escape pad as we head toward Kansas.

I'm thinking we find a cozy refuge in Bob Dole's home town at around dinner time, and spend some quality time between the sheets to celebrate our liberation and lucky escape!

Mistress Spreads Some Christmas Cheer

Just a brief Christmas morning update here from River City....

Yesterday Mistress scheduled a very early spinning class to help compensate for that holiday weekend power eating with our extended families. Slave came along too for a little cardio workout of my own.

But in an unusual move, and after some hot wake-up sex,  we took two cars, much to the consternation of our sullen teen / Co-Eds.

You see, Mistress had a mission of mercy to attend to while Slave was heading down for a brief cameo appearance at my office.

You remember J? Mistress's lover of a few months back. They elected to end that relationship in the fall. It was "complicated", but mostly had to do with him not being able to get his arms around the concept of sex with a married woman. (Yeah, I know, what the hell was he doing on Ashley Madison, then?)

But they've stayed in touch, and its been tough for J these last few weeks, because he's now got sole custody of a pre-teen with some serious disability issues.  He's been asking Mistress to stop by before our trip West and she agreed to go visit Christmas Eve.

"I told him I'd come over after the gym, but warned him I'd be a little sweaty Slave...."

"Oh, I suspect that won't be an issue for him, Mistress...."

"No, in fact he said I could shower there... would that be odd, Slave?"

I raised and eyebrow, with a sense of where this was headed.... but checked my suspicions at the door.

"It's not like you've not done it before....."

"It will give me a chance to use the shampoo and conditioner I left there and that he never wanted me to take back."

So we went out separate ways after our work-outs. It wasn't until after I had stopped at the grocery for our Christmas dinner shopping and threw up some last minute holiday decorations that I heard back from Mistress, maybe at around 1 pm.

"How'd the visit go, Mistress....."

"Well.... it got a little hot and heavy, Slave...."

Once home she filled in the details.

"So I got there, the door was open..... the fire was roaring, and holiday music was playing.... his son was downstairs, not in sight...."

"And J?"

"He was in the shower, Slave....."

"Hmmmmm....."

"So I walked into the bathroom and asked him if this was a 'set-up'.... he insisted it was getting late and he realized he hadn't showered in two days, Slave....."

"A likely story.... so what did you do?"

"So, naturally, I took off my spinning clothes and I got in the shower with him.... I mean I was all sweaty from spinning....."

"Naturally.....I mean why waste water on two showers?"

WIth the son occupied downstairs it sounds like one thing led to another once Mistress joined J in the shower.

"So did he fuck you, Mistress?"

"No, we just 'fooled around' a little, Slave."

I was imagining how that went, something like this, maybe?

"I hope you at least got a cum out of it...."

"I did, Slave.... he licked me in his bedroom.... it was very nice...."

"I'm sure it was, Mistress...."

Let's hope J got his stocking filled too.

With the girls out doing their last minute Christmas thing, Mistress and Slave used this fuel as encouragement to slide back into our own bed for some afternoon Christmas Eve  nookie of our own.

After that, it was dinner at my mother in law's house and some time with the girls to exchange gifts here. 

Christmas day will be a bit more chaotic, including an early AM trip to the airport in a few minutes to drop our younger daughter off for a winter break to the land down under.  Nice non-work if you can get it!

On behalf of the UCTMW publishing empire, We wish all of you a joyful and sexy Christmas!

A UCTMW Christmas

Here in River City, Mistress and Slave are weathering the holidays, looking forward to jumping into our escape pod early Wednesday morning for the long cross country ramble to our mountain hideaway. While we've been able to squeeze in some early morning sex these last few days before our over-scheduled lives draw us from the bed, we've resolved to step things up a notch once we hit the road and head west.

Truth be told, Slave has been a bit of a scrooge this Holiday season. After about a decade spending Christmas out west - Molly, Mick and the two cute Co-Eds in our own winter wonderland- this is the second year in a row we've had to hunker down here in the heartland, dealing with the expectations of our extended family members that they be feted, fed, gifted and accommodated.

That makes me sound like a grumpy and selfish old fart, doesn't it? And I suppose that's so. It's not that I don't have lovely Christmas memories from years past. There were always beautiful trees with nice presents beneath them. There were plenty of family gatherings where I was of the generation being fed, feted and accommodated, after all. But there comes a time when the folks who were part of those early Christmas celebrations move on or fade away, and the memories of those Holiday seasons bring a touch of melancholy to the "festivities". It reminds me of that line from my favorite Christmas song, "through the years we'll always be together, if the fates allow...."

Well the fates have stepped in for our family, just like so many others in recent years. And while the cast of characters gathering around the Christmas tree, Menorrah or bonfire this season of lights may have been pruned from years past, others have joined the party of our lives, and the show must go on.

Now I'm the oldest of my generation and have to admit that, in not so many years, will be part of the memory of the Holidays for my kids and theirs.

So I've resolved to be a good soldier over the next 48 hours: entertain, be merry, generous of time and spirit for Molly, my / our daughters, and my two cute grand-kids.  I'll even try to be nice to my grumpy old Mother when I visit her tomorrow afternoon! Hopefully I will be remembered more as a Santa than a Scrooge!

So, on behalf of our entire staff here at UCTMW, we  hope that all of you - the readers, followers and  friends we've met here in our alternative universe - can enjoy this special time of year  with your own families and friends too!

Stubble Trouble: A Dispatch from Our Senior Correspondent

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Imagine Mick's surprise when this dispatch from our Senior Correspondent slid under my electronic transom yesterday afternoon! Sounds like she's trying to get back on the payroll too!

Thank You, Donna.

Bill is an Inspection Dom. He likes for me to shower first thing in the morning and present to him with teeth brushed, body scrubbed, and the only hair he wants on my body is on my head, and that should be freshly shampooed and blown dry.

That’s really not asking too much, except for that shaved everywhere situation. I sometimes run into stubble trouble. Bill really doesn’t want to feel a five o’clock shadow when he runs his hands over my pussy, so I was looking for a solution when I ran across an article that suggested using a combination of shaving cream and baby oil along with a Venus razor.

I could do that!

I picked up my supplies at the local grocery store. They had the razor and the suggested brand of shaving cream, but the only baby oil they had was baby oil gel. Okay, close enough.

The next morning, excited to surprise Bill with the smoothest pussy ever, I headed for the shower while Bill slept in. Nice hot water, good shampoo, a washing up and then the shaving process began. The razor and shaving cream worked well, right up to the point I added the gel on top. The gel made the razor blade all gooey and wouldn’t come off. I tried using the wash cloth to wipe it off and I tried blasting it with hot water from the shower head, but that goo was there to stay. Well, crap! I closed the lid on the baby gel, but that puppy was slick and started to slip through my hands. I must have grabbed at it a bit too hard because the gel came shooting up out of that thing landing on the floor of the shower. Oops.

What could I do? The only other razor in the shower was Bill’s, so I grabbed it and began again, using just the shaving cream and Bill’s razor. Things seemed to go well.

This may be the time to remind you that I am a wheelchair person, so I use a shower chair but Bill stands in the shower. That information is about to become relevant.

I finished getting ready and headed into the bedroom for presentation. Bill barely picked his head up off the pillow and said he had a headache, that I should go have my coffee and let him sleep a little longer. So I did.

In a little while I heard the water in the shower start up and I started wheeling for the bathroom as fast as I could. I hadn’t had the chance yet to tell Bill the shower floor might be a little slick. Just as I turned the corner at the end of the hallway, I heard a whack and knew that Bill had lost his balance and crashed into the side of the shower. Whoops!

I opened the bathroom door, and yelling over the running water I shouted, “Honey, are you okay? I was going to tell you about the shower being a little slick from some baby gel I used, but time got away from me.” He stuck his head out of the shower and I saw a little rivulet of blood running down his cheek. “And did you also plan, but fail, to tell me you neglected to change out my razor blade after you used it to shave your pussy and legs?” he asked in a deep monotone. Gulp.

I waited until he stepped out and began toweling, and then tried to take his mind off the subject of the razor by asking if he felt better after his shower. He responded that once he realized he needed to grip with his toes in order to stay upright in the shower, and then managed to stop the bleeding caused by the dull razor, it went quite well, thank you.  I knew that look and that tone of voice. Crap!

My butt still has a rosy glow. In fact, if Rudolph isn’t available on Christmas Eve, Bill may offer me to fly red-butt first, leading Santa’s sleigh.

Donna with the Red-Butt

The WC Applies for WC

Was it only a few short weeks ago that we were planning to prune our staff here at UCTMW... go back to basics and strip away all these burdensome overhead costs?  With all that extra expense associated with Obamacare kicking in, why would our vast media empire want a bunch of under-productive staff members to plunge over the fiscal cliff with us?

But then we flew out to Denver to pick up the Company AMEX card and the keys to our Mountain Zone branch office from our Western Correspondent and.....

Well Mistress's hormones overrode her common sense, and our austerity plans were tossed out the window. She renewed the WC's employment deal, while diddling with his non-compete. And we actually got one whole post from him.

But Now....

Word broke yesterday that the WC was under the knife for some type of "injury". Of course, your executive editor can't disclose the details due to various overly burdensome federal laws protecting the disclosure of employee medical information. Let's simply say that the WC is so laid up that he is asserting that he has temporarily suspended his favorite recreational activity. Something he reputedly does four to five times / day, driving up demand for industrial quantities of premium lubricants.

And then.....

Here at the UCTMW World HQ we just received notice from the Colorado Bureau of Worker's Compensation that the WC has made a claim that his surgery arose from a job related injury, potentially forcing up our premiums going forward, and creating another barrier to a future lay-off. That's right, if we try to fire the WC next year as part of a cost saving plan, or to replace him with someone more familiar with periods or comas, he'll claim it was just a pretext for exercising his right to seek worker's comp for a work related injury!

The WC's initial claim form does not disclose the work related "injury" that led to his purported surgery.  Suzanne over at All Mine wondered yesterday whether it was a slip and fall on some of that foam at Scarlett Ranch that WC encountered during his "investigative reporting" at that esteemed institution last summer.

Could he claim that the bicycle crash that occurred two years ago, while he was coaching Mistress on the use of her Hitachi, created some latent injury?  Or was it that frost bitten cock incident?

Or was it simply wear and tear as a result of years of excessive self-abuse? Surely UCTMW cannot be held accountable for a lifetime of wasteful excess! I mean, why should a current employer have to pick up the tab for the therapy to repair the consequences of, or cure that long running malady?

Mistress would love to supervise personally the very thorough independent medical exam required to get to the bottom of this and throw out the WC's WC claim.

But I have a feeling it will be a while before Miguel feels "Up" to it.

In the meantime, feel free to send him a "get well quick" card! Maybe your good vibes will help mitigate this unexpected drag on profitability here at UCTMW.

HNT / Nail Talk

I'm a guy with four lovely daughters, and a very sexy and stylish wife. Of course, there are benefits, as those of you who are regular readers know.

But sometimes... on occasions when we are all together,  one has to endure dinner conversation that drifts into "girl talk" more often than not.

Like the other night, when we took our cute Co-Eds out for an Indian dinner. Mistress had just gotten a new manicure and everyone had an opinion. At least everyone but me.

"They look a little trashy",  said our younger daughter, who, after a year in Europe, fancies herself as Oh so sophisticated and continental.

The older daughter, who is more the midwestern sorority girl, with much less pretension and more generosity of spirit, was more supportive.... "they're OK.... if kind of bright."

In her own defense, Mistress argued that they were "festive", fit for the holidays.

Of course, she then put me on the spot.  I tried to demur, not feeling truly qualified to express an opinion on the subject. But "no comment" was not acceptable.

"I don't think they're trashy .... trashy would be fake long ones.... or maybe reindeer painted on your nails...."

You know, something Ellie Mae Clampett would come home with.

Fortunately the Nan showed up at the table, and the subject changed.  But what do you think, dear readers?

 I found this old picture that has just about the same nail color Mistress is now sporting:

Holiday Party Banter

Last night, Slave accompanied his Mistress to her office holiday bash, at the hip new hotel in town. (Remember those strange statuary photos from a few weeks back).

This is a relatively hip crowd with lots of young creative types all dressed for an evening out. Mistress was. of course, a key part of the fun, chatting up the young things who report to her and introducing me to her more senior colleagues. She was adorned in her black dress, black tights and those kinky lace-up black boots.

At one point Slave offered to fetch drinks for her and a colleague: a woman who is in her mid 40's, and purportedly danced as an NBA cheerleader back in her younger days. She's shorter than Mistress, but fetching in her own way. Her husband was home tending to her kids.

I asked her if she had made the acquaintance of someone that Suzanne and J likely admire, Larry Bird. But apparently their tenure with this particular team did not coincide.

As I returned with their white wines, a beer under my elbow for me, Mistress's boss (an older woman) caught the scene, and commented that it was nice of me to "serve" them.

Slave, always looking for an opportunity to be cheeky, had a snappy retort:

"It's a little crowded here, or I'd be doing it on my knees."

Mistress gave me that little "eyebrow lift" suggesting I was treading on thin ice.

But her colleague - the former NBA cheerleader - did not miss a beat.

"We'll get to that later.....", she said to me with a sly look in her eye.

It made me think that the house husband back at home with her kids may have other duties too.

Solicitations

Truth be told, after the events of Friday in Newtown, it's been hard to get the inspiration for a tawdry sex blog entry here at UCTMW. Our enterprise seems so frivolous and meaningless in the context of all that horror and pain. 

I did have an amusing conversation with my rather self-absorbed and cranky mother on Friday afternoon that may be worth reporting.

I called to tell her when she could expect my dutiful visit on Saturday. She clearly had been absorbing the TV coverage from Connecticut in the solitude of her condo all afternoon, and this is what she had to say:

"Can you believe it? What sort of sick person would .... SHOOT THEIR OWN MOTHER?"

I held my tongue and tried not to explain that the particular horror here had more to do with the 20 dead first  graders than one dead Mom. Ah well.....

In any event, since I am not sharing much to titilate and arouse here, as a good sex blogger should be doing, I thought you might be amused to read a solicitation email Mistress received at her Collar Me posting over the weekend.  My guess is that this is a "form" email, but you have to admit, cuckold fans,  it pokes all the right buttons:

I've been aware of and interested in bdsm since my early twenties. I've been an active Dom for couples and women for more than 15 years now. I was familiar with the fantasy of sharing one's wife when I first had the opportunity to be the other man for a neighbor of mine. H e asked me if I thought his wife was cute... or sexy... This line of conversation took the three of us on a nearly year-long journey of sexual adventure. I'm very experienced introducing this lifestyle to wives/couples and in helping them understand each others' motivations and needs in this process. I firmly believe that a beautiful, sexy woman should never be limited to just one lover. The sexier she is - the more men should be able to enjoy (safely), what nature blessed her with. I also believe that 'slut' is a beautiful word - it was coined in an age where a woman who showed any appreciation for - or enjoyment of - sex, was branded a 'slut' ...and the label was very negative. In today's age it's become accepted fact that women have sexual desires as strong, if not stronger than men, but all too often, women allow themsleves to be 'programmed' by society, religion, and family beliefs, and deny themselves the pleasures of their own sexuality. I am a Dom but I don't use labels like 'bi' or 'straight' as they don't really apply in this lifestyle. Many husbands who have sucked cock suddenly thought they must be gay.. or bi.. when in fact, they are still straight... and expressing their submission, not a change in orientation. I have enjoyed the mouth of a wimp hubby licking my cock my balls and even my ass - especialy when his wife is getting off on it! The sadist in me enjoys manipulating, punishing, teasing and/or handling the mostly miniature toys between their legs. I have a lot of experience helping couples learn about this lifestyle and with 'convincing' hesitant spouses. Many of the couples on the web were only wannabes before speaking to me. Done properly, this is a lifestyle that will bring couples even closer and make a good relationship even better. I refer to the formation and continuation of my relationship with a couple as 'training' them... If You/you are interested to learn more about my methods for training cuckold couples continue reading. it's all about applying some imagination.... Preparing her for me I require the husband to help his wife get ready for their evening with me.. or for her night out with me. I make it his job to trim her curls as I like it done and to make sure she's perfectly smooth around her pussy for me. I teach him to use the head of his cock to make sure she's perfectly smooth for me. Of course.. he can't enter her.. she's mine for the night... Dressing her for an evening out. I want her pussy smooth so I can feel it while we're out. I may ask her to open her legs while we're eating dinner together and let others see the cute pussy I have to enjoy. See how nicely those gorgeous breasts are displayed for me? She wouldn't wear this for her husband but he bought it. Dressing her for an afternoon with me. When she's my girlfriend, I want to see those pretty breasts all the time and know that when she's not with me... men around her are free to enjoy looking at them. This cami top is simple, semi-sheer, and shows off her breasts and nipples like magic. Others need to see and feel how sexy she is. I share my dates with close friends and others at times as well. It's always hot to be the first to train a wife for black cock as well. Expanding her horizons. By surrendering her body to me and being bound, her entire body becomes an errogenous zone for me to lick, nibble, pinch and rub. Cherished for being my slut. Seeing their expression as they orgasm for the first time with their breasts bound and pussy being lightly slapped is more rewarding than the sex itself... and assures she'll want to offer more of herself to me... Still interested...? then continue to learn more about my methods for training the submissive husband. I enjoys hubby too On my leash. I like having hubby's cock on a leash. If not one like this, then a simple one of rope or a harness with a dog leash will do. He must wear it whenever I am in the house. Constant ache for her. I teach wives the most effective ways to keep you aroused without relief for hours on end with a combination of their dress, physical teasing and verbal teasing. I might even have her put a condom on you to collect your eager drippings as proof of her teasing you for me... and of your desire for her. What's good for the goose is twice for the gander. Often when I'm dating a wife... I and my friends become her primary source of cock. Usually because you are too small, too wimpy - or both. The only thing left to do with your penis and balls is tease and torment them. Punishment sucks . I design my punishments around the person and their personality. I might have your ass whipped and balls swatted by her while I watch (which you might usually enjoy) but then leave you there, preventing one of your greatest pleasures. Watching. Donations glady accepted. After making my deposit, I've not met the wife yet who didnt want hubby down there, cleaning her up while we lay together. Be a good boy for us. She will be instructed to ride your face while your pantied penis betrays your real feelings

Nest ReInfestation

Over at Finding My Submission today, Sin was bemoaning the fact that her time with "Big Bad" will be limited with all the holiday hubub and their respective family demands in coming weeks.

The same is (sort of true) for Mistress. We have our daughters heading back for the Christmas break from their respective campuses, with one to be collected at the airport tonight.

(Despite her seeming ability to cope with the world around her I got a text early this AM asking that I "check in" to her flight for her. When I asked the question "will you be checking a bag", the rather snotty response was "Obviously". But it's not so obvious when you look at all the C*** still in her room and closet here in River City.....)

So for the next month or so, Mistress and Slave will be in close quarters once again with our two sullen ones. That means no "sleep-overs" with the cougar bait du jour, or loud and raucous sex outside the close confines of our Executive Suite. Poor Mistress will just have to take solace from my work-a-day cock and devoted tongue and lips, unless she can find time and place for a quicky with the likes of K (Mr. Perfect Cock), David or maybe J (who she visited last night for a chaste dinner with him and his son). But that seems unlikely.

Mistress did get time to stop by for some mid-afternoon worship today. But without the "Peek-a-Boo" tights she had to slide off a brown suede boot and then wriggle free of one leg of her brown tights.  After I did gone my work and gave her to a early afternoon delight, the poor girl had trouble getting that one leg back on the way it should. I wanted to take an HNT photo of her limb twisting exertions, her skirt hiked up and her legs akimbo.  But, alas, I was commanded to put down my camera.

So just use your imagination.

Why Men are Born to Be Slaves to Women

Today's David Brooks column in the Times had a reference to recent social science study which explains it all, dear readers:

Men are dumber around women. Thijs Verwijmeren, Vera Rommeswinkel and Johan C. Karremans gave men cognitive tests after they had interacted with a woman via computer. In the study, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the male cognitive performance declined after the interaction, or even after the men merely anticipated an interaction with a woman. 

Of course, this also explains the WC's reaction to meeting Molly last week in Denver. It clearly fostered an even more acute deficiency in spelling and punctuation than even he typically evidences.

Our Western Correspondent Goes Shopping

As this gets posted, Molly and Mick will be driving back north toward the Mile High City through the first snow storm of the winter in these parts. I'm hoping our rent-a-Taurus can get the traction needed to traverse La Veta Pass in some fresh snow. But as a precaution, I suggested that Mistress bring along some gloves, boots and a warm coat. The temperatures are supposed to be sub zero, after all. She bristled a bit, when I reminded her that survival comes before fashion. Why does contemplating this drive through snow at high altitude have me thinking of that old Michael Martin Murphy song Wildfire

Right now Mistress is snoozing on the couch, Slave is shaking his head over the Pussycats lack of intensity at home against the Cowboys, and the kiva fireplace is roaring. We made sure to get in a few ski runs in the fresh snow before retreating back down the mountain for a few hours at fireside.  And before skiing, Mistress got the full switch treatment, tied to our bed here as I "tortured" her with her favorite power tool.  

No wonder she's napping.

In any event, It was nice of our Western Correspondent, who is surviving by the chin of his teeth due to the financialy reckless benificience  of our CEO, to step up and contribute a post:
  -->

Well Well Well

I finally met the famous Mick and Molly

They of legendary status in the sex blog world

They who have more sex than any couple in America

They of River city and parts west

And 

They were great!!!!!!!

Mick has a twinkle in his eye

And a mischievous   grin

Kind of like he is amused at the world but having a big time anyway

But he is not a submissive 

Sorry Mick but you’re not

Suzanne I fear that all our efforts to get him locked in his cock cage will cum to naught 

He is a bottom topper:)

Don't really know what that means .... I just like the way it rolled off my tongue 

And Molly

The lovely Molly

She of the famous clean shave folds

Cougar on the prowl

Keeper of men

Ruler of cubs 

Famous flirt

Bike rider

Skiier

Captain of industry 

And a total little stud

THE

MOLLY

She was delightful 

Charming

Vivacious 

Engaging and most important 

Funny

They are both very intelligent interesting people

But you guys already knew that.............

The only regret I had was it took so long for us to meet

So have I sucked up enough for a raise????????????

Just kidding I loved those two lunatics 

Great Peeps

Stay well you two nuts

On to another matter -

I rode my bicycle to the local sex shop today

Needed  a new vat of lube.......

He of the compulsory masturbatory habits:)

And I wandered over to the but plug section

All of the sudden a very fetching young lady came over and started telling me about the relative merits of the various models 

How do you know all this I asked

Well I love butt plugs 

Really ????????

Yes I own a bunch of them

I said I own a couple of aneros's 

Yes they are good but this one is better

Really??????

Yes I know they are male toys but in the rear entrance men and women are pretty much the same

P spot G spot  its all good

True I ventured

Fun girl

The interesting thing was I was the only guy in the sex shop

Probably 20 or so women and all the clerks were ladies

Times are a changing

The

WC

 Gee, Thanks, Mike. Based on your description, now all our dozens of readers will think of Santa Claus whenever they see my by line!

Shoddy Sex Research

Mistress and her devoted Slave only have a day left on this little junket to our Mountain Hideaway. We're glad we got through the business of almost firing, then reinstating our Western Correspondent on Day 1, giving us time for a little Skiing, sex, napping, sex, bike riding, fine dining, sex and holiday shopping. And taking pictures of the beautiful sunsets from our front yard, a habit we can't ever seem to break.

Up on the ski mountain, Molly decided to open a small side business while out here, but I'm a little concerned she might eat all the profits.

I did spend a little spare time yesterday poring over that Indiana University National Survey of Sexual Health, finding some interesting data points on this amusing graph. As an example, 24% of men ages 30-39 "inserted penis into ass" in the year before the survey was taken. But that % fell to only 11% for those above 50, and just 6% once you passed 60. Now this is something I've not done in the last 20 years, I will confess. It seemed I was missing something. Then I realized that a good chunk of these self reporters were likely guys doing guys. And could the diminishing % as the years go by say something about one's penis rigidity as they age? If so, Miguel better get cracking if he still aspires to take Molly in that fashion.

I might add that there is also a significant drop off in "received penis in ass" stats for women as they age. So maybe this is a "been there, done that" phenomenon?

In fact the only thing that seems to go up as the sample got older was a doubling of the percentage of women engaged in oral sex with other women as they move from their 50's to their 70's. Is that just because the guy supply is dropping like flies by then? Or do lesbians live longer?

But what really stood out about the graph was its shallowness. I mean, think of all the categories of sexual conduct that those of us in  sex blog land engage in regularly (or at least write about) that don't show up on this chart.  That caused me to come up with a top ten list of questions to submit to the busy bodies at IU the next time they do their "what were you up to in the last year" sexual survey:

10. Cyber or phone sex masturbation with another person?
9. Cyber or phone sex masturbation with Hitachi or other power tool?
8. Cyber or phone sex masturbation with nipple or clit clamps? (Here' thinking of you Sin).
7. Riding crop, flogging or spanking ?
6. Bondage before or while engaging in vaginal or anal intercourse?
5. Cuckolding..... i.e., wife makes love to another man while husband watches, listens, serves coffee or dinner , and/or "cleans up" afterwards?
4. Group sex.... more than two people engaged in any of the activities on the chart?
3. Enforced chastity... cock cages, chastity belts, orgasm denial?
2. Sex involving pets or live stock? (Thinking of our friends who follow or play for SEC teams).
1. And, Number 1,  in tribute to 'Nila, sex involving the tentacles of Marine creatures or alien life forms.

Am I missing something?

Coming Tomorrow: a Rare but highly  anticipated post from our reinstated Western Correspondent.

We Are the 1%

Last night, Mistress and Slave "dined" at a funky local Northern New Mexican diner, then went to a recently renovated old dance hall to hear a friend's band play and do a little "boot scooting". The lady who lovingly renovated the place brought out all the old adobe charm. Imagine an adobe walled auditorium the size of a basketball court, but with "vega" beams of old pine logs a yard in diameter and 50 feet long. It made old Mick wonder how the workers who built the place around 1900 lifted those suckers into place.

  During a break, while Mistress was "powdering her nose", the band's leader sidled up to me, on his way to his van for a little mid-set pick-me-up.

"Mick.... Molly sure is looking young out there. For a moment I thought you were dancing with your daughter....."

True, Mistress is looking hot, as a local hunky "potter" mentioned earlier in the day. He told Mistress she looks better than most 40 year olds here in town. (This quickly got Mistress to add him to guys she might like to fuck someday, an ever growing list, I might add.)

Yes, dear readers, I  regularly pinch myself for my good fortune, knowing that I've got a feisty filly by the tail and have to cling tight to keep up. (Is all this one of those loathsome "humblebrags"?  Not sure, but what the fuck, it's our blog and you can always click to the next one if humility is what you seek).

This brings me to the article I stumbled on while clicking through the Times on line yesterday, to get my news fix. Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll, and More Sex?

The article reports on a survey of Americans' sexual activities, and includes a link to the survey and its various amusing graphics.  But here's the passage I found intriguing :

Seventy-one percent of men 30 to 39 said they’d had sex in the last month, versus 61 percent of those 40 to 49 and 44 percent of those 50 to 59. With women, 64 percent of those 30 to 39 reported having sex in the previous month versus 56 percent of those 40 to 49, 40 percent of those 50 to 59 and 29 percent of those 60 to 69.

Sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and more sex? About 10 percent of men and women 50 to 59 said they had sex two to three times a week, about a third the rate for those 25 to 29. 

Of course, the article just ignores those guys, like me who have turned 60.  But checking out the survey, I find that about 45% of my contemporaries reported no penetrative sex with another person in the last year. Of course, some of those folks could be caged cucks or submissives like some of you out in blog land who have been disciplined into denial. But I suspect that is a very tiny chunk of that 45%.

On the other hand, the number of 60 and above men who have sex 2-3 times a week is less than 10%.

And what about those like old Mick, who has been on a 7-10 times a week schedule most recently, with lots of two a days with the time and privacy we have out here in our Mountain Hideaway.

I guess I am one pampered house slave....

Fifty Shades of Chicken

 In case you need something to spice up your dinner table this weekend between sessions in bed with your cuck and or Bull:


Fifty Shades of Chicken

Together Again for the First Time

Molly and Mick finally made it to our mountain hideaway here in the shadow of the Sangre de Christo Mountains not long after dusk last evening. We were treated to an amazing sunset over the last hour of our drives bathing the mountains and sky in the colors of a rusty rainbow.

The drive reminded us of our early days when we started this blog about 3 years ago. Pictures we used then led to some comments from Miguel, our less than productive Western Correspondent, with a masturbatory bent that leads to purchases of lubricants in bulk quantities.

f you followed us here, you know that over the months that followed, Mistress and our WC developed a bit of a thing for one another, featuring much abuse of Mistress's hitachi, and lots of fantasies about whether she would ever become personally familiar with his special occasion cock, and its legendary dimensions. It was a unique "romance" spawned and nourished by the blog-o-verse.

She wheedled him with various offers to visit us here, only 5 hours down the road. Or maybe "hook up" in some neutral location.  But Mike's sense of honor and a busy gold and home schedule always seemed to get in the way. So, as you know, Mistress's eye began to wander and she found herself in a series of ongoing adventures with a collection of longer and shorter term lovers (no, that was not a cock size joke in the making).

Truth be told, we had our doubts about whether the WC would actually show up for our lunch appointment yesterday. The last time we were in the area he had "inadvertently" left his cell phone at home.

So we were pleasantly surprised when he appeared at the appointed time and place, a sea food restaurant of his selection.

And we were very happy to finally meet him in the flesh.

I could tell that Mistress was particularly charmed to finally meet the guy who had talked her out of her undies on so many occasions from afar.  And after I returned to the table after a brief conference call, she announced that they had reached an agreement:

"Mike says were actually going to fuck someday."

Of course, there was no date or location designated.  I tried to be helpful.

"Our rental has a big trunk, and a back seat that folds down.... there should be enough space.... I can move it to a secluded corner of the parking lot....."

"Ewww .... too messy slave..... and sordid.  This deserves more atmosphere....."

"How about I block the door of the men's room for 5 minutes. would that work, just by way of introduction?"


Of course, they looked at me like I was crazy. But Mistress did invite WC to slip away this weekend to visit us here..... or to come with his Wife, the long suffering Beth with the nasty strap-on, and celebrate New Year's Eve with us.

Our guess is that we will not see them here anytime soon. I did suggest that this summer Mistress and I might come back to Denver for a visit to Scarlett ranch with Mike and Beth.

"I could get some foam in Beth's eye and distract her, while you and Molly head off to some secluded tent... would that work?"

Somehow I have my doubts that this new agreement will come to fruition anytime soon. But it did seem to change Mistress's mind about our corporate austerity plan .... despite the high overhead and low productivity, she announced as we were leaving that my decision to close the Mountain Zone HQ was reversed.  Mike didn't have to turn in his keys and AmEx card after all!

And they did spend some time quenching the WC's unnatural curiosity about Mistress's Cougar Week adventures and where the group of contenders now stand.  (More on that later.) Naturally, Mike seems to find fault with all of them, particularly when it comes to cock dimensions.

Now, with a new lease on his branch office, and a reprieve from the pink slip, do you think we can expect any chart topping smut from the WC anytime soon, or will he still try to peddle his "work product" over to our competitors at ALL Mine?

UCTMW Corporate Announcement

Denver.   Molly Collins, CEO and Publisher of UCTMW Enterprises, Inc., a multinational, multi-media conglomerate announced today that despite recent reports to the contrary, the Company would continue to operate our of its Mountain Zone branch office.

"At a time when even Rupert Murdoch and the News Corporation are retrenching, here at UCTMW we have a commitment to our dozens of readers and our highly skilled, if less than productive staff to provide the highest quality of low brow sex blog journalism. We can't do that without a visible and active  presence in a significant media and sexually deviant market like Denver."

Mick Collins, Editor and Corporate Controller noted that "despite rumors on some competting blogs, we have decided to retain UCTMW's Western Correspondent, who's infrequent yet stirring reportage has been a favorite of some of our less discriminating readers.... we understand that even high quality journalists have to pander every now and then."

In response to questioning, Ms. Collins denied that the decision to continue operations at the Company's Mountain Zone branch office had anything to do with assurances by the Company's Western Correspondent that someday at an undisclosed time and location, he might ultimately demonstrate for her the full dimensions of the so called "special occasion cock."

Heading West

Mistress and Slave are heading west this morning to the Mile High City. Our plan is to perform a snap inspection of the UCTMW Western HQ and collect the keys and company AMEx card from our erstwhile Western Correspondent. Although we've spent a lot of time conversing with him via email, text and telephone, and Mistress had her moments of cuber bliss with him over the years, we've actually never seen Miguel in the flesh.

Not for lack of trying, we might add.

I note that Mistress has dolled herself up nicely for the occasion, with those sext tights, a mid thigh skirt, and some sexy ankle boots.

We have the co-ordinates for our lunch down, and look forward to reporting to you all later this week.

I might add that Slave is a tad horny this morning. You see Mistress had a late night rendezvous with Mr. Perfect Cock in our bedroom, as Slave slept down the hall. I'll also report more on that later. But duffice it to say Mistress is a little sleepy.

"It seemed we fucked most of the night, Slave.... I'll need to catch up on my sleep on the plane."

K seemed pleased with the coffee service and other hospitality I provided this am. And I must say I slept pretty well..... I caught some of the pre-midnight moaning of delight from Mistress, but slept through the early morning re-match.

More later, since they're calling our flight now.

Dinner With Mr. Perfect Cock

Before we get into Mistress's strategy for avoiding Sunday NFL widowhood, let me address Friday evening. You may recall the plan whereby Slave would make dinner for a certain would be Dom who was going to come over and cast his spell on Mistress?

Well Mr. Would be Dom had a last minute "scheduling snafu" that forced him to cancel on Mistress late Friday afternoon. It left her wondering if he was yet another guy who likes to talk big via email, text and telephone, but gets cold feet when it comes time to deliver. Somehow I think he may have trouble getting back onto Mistress's busy schedule anytime soon.

But I threw cold water on her initial  thought of posting a bitchy blog on the theme of "I'm done with these assholes once and for all", because I had a feeling she might have a change of heart once the prospect of an eager and earnest cock popped up on the horizon.

And, sure enough, by Saturday morning, when texts from "Mr. Perfect Cock" (aka, K) began to arrive wondering how her weekend was going and if she might be interested in a visit, she suddenly reconsidered that resolution.

"So , remind me, what's our plan for Sunday, Slave?"

I mentioned my hopes of watching the late afternoon showdown from Mitt Romney's new hometown between the Pussycats and the Bolts.

"Maybe we invite K over for dinner, Slave? He says he'd like to meet you."

"I'm happy to do the cooking, Mistress."

So Slave went to the grocery, and did a little leaf raking early Sunday, while Mistress spent some platonic afternoon time with J and his son, who has now moved into the former "Love Shack". Then we both met back at the UCTMW World HQ for a nap before the evening's festivities.

K arrived at half time in the Pussycats game, after Slave had prepped for dinner.

In physical terms, he was exactly as Mistress advertised: about 6' 1" or so, very fit, and Abercrombie Model handsome.

I can see why Mistress was smitten in a sort of little girl in a candy shop sort of way. And since he's almost 20 years younger than old Mick, well, he seemed more like a potential son-in-law to me than a contemporary.

There was that slightly awkward moment when Slave opened the door to greet him. He had that look in the eye that suggested he figured there was a not inconsiderable chance I had a chain saw hidden behind my back.

But we overcame that as he saw Mistress seated on the couch, looking Sunday jeans casual. And I poured them both a glass of wine, then say down again to watch the 2nd half.  There were a few awkward moments when Mistress speculated aloud that maybe K would prefer to watch the game with me rather than adjourn to her boudoir for something less passive and more physical. (It was pretty obvious to me what K had in mind, though he may have been a tad reluctant to say so in mixed company).

So I made an excuse to go grab another bottle of wine from the basement to let her close that deal. Sure enough, I was coming back up the stairs when I heard Mistress call out "We'll be just upstairs, Slave....."

This allowed Slave to enjoy the game - a nifty come from behind win in the final minutes affair for the River City team - knowing that Mistress was hardly getting bored.

I did feel a little intrusive when - the game over and Slave getting hungry - I called upstairs to suggest it might be time to eat soon. It was approaching 8 pm by then, and I had heard nothing from them tad an occasional groan of floor board or moan of delight from Mistress once I had turned off the TV.

Mistress called back and asked how much time they had.  I suggested 15 minutes, hoping that would allow the Perfect Cock time to bring things to a suitable climax. I mean they'd been at it for at least an hour already, right?

But ultimately they did re-emerge, Mistress now in a silky cream colored robe. (I forgot to check to see if there were any undies underneath).

At dinner, K was the perfect guest - cleaning his plate and asking for 2nds. He had worked up an appetite, and a chef always likes to see his art appreciated.

And it turns out he's not nearly as dull and full of himself as his informal title might suggest, despite the protestations from the WC.

He's an engineer for a local company, played NCAA hockey for one of those well known east coast programs, and can talk about cooking, architecture and other suitable topics, though he seems a tad clueless in the political realm.And he still plays hockey in a local men's league.

He is quiet though. "Taciturn" was the word I would use. But not in a bad way. More in that Gary Cooper kind of way. It could be  his Danish family background.

I let the two of them talk after dinner as I did the clean up.  And after he left, Mistress had good reviews for their evening together.

"I did a lot of cock riding Slave....."

"And I'll bet lots of cums too?"

"Yes..... he says I'm the most attractive woman he's been with...."

"That doesn't surprise me in the least, Mistress....."

"He is kind of perfect, Slave.... his body is rather amazing.... he's in great shape."

That does sound like a nice alternative to watching NFL football, doesn't it?