Boring?

Mistress and Slave have been pretty busy this week, though we've kept up our regular wake-up sex, with an evening worship chaser for Mistress. Yeah... you've heard it all before. Last night Slave was privileged to taste those sultry and salty clean shaven folds after an after work bike ride in the early summer River City heat.  Yum.

Sadly, we've had to tone things down with the two Co-Eds home from college.

But here's something that caught my eye and is worth sharing. A Washington Post reporter is soliciting comments on whether women find monogamous sex boring. Here's the link Is Monogamous Sex Boring for Women?

There's even a little story about how some female spiders are more interested in sex with a new partner after 90 minutes, than with the "guy" they just did it with.  So, stripping about social conventions and economic dependency, are babes just as interested in multiple partners as "sowing their wild oats" men are supposed to be?

The writer is looking for comments.

I'm wondering if those of you involved in hot cuckoldy relationships will give her some scorching perspective.

Wouldn't you just hate to make the Washington Post blush?

Mistress's Latest Admirer

If you hadn't noticed, Mistress has taken a bit of an hiatus on her quest for a "side-dish" - someone to supplement her work-day cock and add a little cuckold spice to our adventures here at UCTMW.  The kids are home, cramping our style, and the pickings at Ashley Madison were particularly thin during her last foray there this spring.

She had me shut down her AM account when the empty nest was re-infested a few weeks back, and concluded she may be stuck with just me for a while, or hope that someone catches her eye the old fashioned, off-line way.

But yesterday... we decided to take the girls over to some friends' home in the City. The weather was finally warming up after several days of chill, and their backyard pool - complete with a full service bar - was open for business. We were even greeted by a new and unexpected member of the household who took a quick shine to Mistress, who was decked out in that hot bikini she acquired for her recent trip to the Islands.

No sooner had she splayed herself on the deck to pick up some supplemental rays, he decided to join her. At this point I'll simply share the photo I took:

When she saw me snapping the photo, Mistress was very specific.

"I don't want to see that posted on facebook.... all our 'friends' don't want to see my ass...."

"Don't worry, dear.... it's not going to facebook."

Of course, I made no promises in front of our friends about posting it to a certain secret sex blog.

A Roll Through the Past

Here is a surprise: Mistress and Slave skipped their Sunday morning Wake-Up sex yesterday - well Slave's was skipped, but I did do some early morning worship - all because we were heading out for a 32 mile urban bike tour through River City. It was one of those large group events for a good cause, that had a bunch of (mostly) white yuppies of various ages, dressed in shiny bright shirts and black tights or shorts,  annoying  Sunday morning church goers as we monopolized a lane of traffic.

We started not far from our inner ring suburban home, winding down into the City, over the River, then back across again. And in the process we passed by some landmarks of our romantic/scandalous past.

On our left, just before entering a large City park overlooking the big river was that old, otherwise nondescript office building where Mistress and Slave first started throwing off sparks. It was the 1988 primary HQ of a certain Greek Governor of a New England state, where Mistress and Slave spent some late evening hours plotting his "stunning victory" over the remaining "dwarfs" of a rather humdrum field of candidates.

Mistress was 25. Slave was 38. Now that I have daughters older than she was at the time, It (almost) embarrasses me to consider that I had trouble keeping my fingers off of her, as we got to know one another better in the pot boiler of Presidential politics. I do recall one evening, as we sat around the table with some staffers and volunteers finding myself standing behind her as she sat there, all perky  and engaged. Did I really start massaging her shoulders, to help relieve the "tension" of the moment.

And who's tension was I relieving?

Pathetic, I know.  I was lucky she didn't accuse me of sexual harassment. Or slap me and call me a dirty old man.

Later, after we crossed over the River and back again, we rolled through our downtown, streets clogged and blocked off for the big kick-off-the-summer food festival. 

"There's our old love nest, Slave....."

Ah yes, the otherwise nondescript apartment building. After a few months of renting hotel rooms, or "borrowing" my father's unoccupied condo for some private time together, we rented a little efficiency apartment downtown, a few blocks from my office.

We spent more than a few torrid lunch hours - well more than an hour certainly - on a futon purchased at one of those funky import stores. Mistress would usually pick up lunch for us. She sometimes ended up tied to the four corners of the futon as I had my way with her delicious 20 something body.

It's hard to imagine we got away with all that, since we were both married to other people at the time.

The absence of cell phones surely helped.

And don't worry, followers, Mistress did not require Slave to wear his cage on that long three hour ride. If I had, what good would I have been to her once the ride was over?

Cage Day

Mistress elected to "work from home" yesterday, meaning that Slave would be driving downtown on his own. And you know what that means.

"It's a cage day for you tomorrow, Slave."

"Sure thing, Mistress."

I suppose I'm fortunate that, unlike Tammy over at All Mine, I'm not dealing with "Cage week" or "Cage month".  So I was a good sport about making sure that hard steel ring was in place at the base of my cock and balls before I came upstairs to wake Mistress with her work-a-day cock for a little pre-work wake-up sex.

After entertaining her with that semi-confined appendage, I was into the shower, then slid on the "lid", and Mistress closed the little lock for the day. Hopefully she felt more secure that her little tool would not be misused or distracted during the course of the day.

It turned out she had some conference calls in the morning, and then spent some time with our cute Co-Eds in the afternoon, doing what girls do together on a Friday afternoon. No doubt there was some grousing between and amongst them, as our Co-Eds tend to break into sibling rivalry whining when they spend more than about an hour together.

I had offered to arrange a Friday evening trip to the movies on my return, and there was some grousing about what movie to see. But Mistress texted me that our younger daughter might "consider" the option when I got home.

Upon my return, I was grateful that Mistress was willing to unlock my cage, after I proved my devotion to her with some worship from the kneeling position. No doubt she needed a little stress relief needed after an afternoon acting as referee with the girls.

And our younger daughter agreed that she would accompany me to the movies. She picked "Iron Man 3" from the list of alternatives I offered up.

But, wisely, Mistress had other plans.

"What if you go to the movies, and I go over and visit Jay, Slave...."

"No problems, Mistress.... I'm sure you could use a break from the bicker-somes."

So Slave and daughter were off to the multi-plex, and Mistress grabbed a bottle of wine to share with Jay, her former lover and still sort-of friend.

I got home at around 9:45 pm, and Mistress was still "out". (We did not disclose the details of our evening plans to our daughters, since they might raise their expensively shaped eyebrows if they learned that their "boring" Mom was over at some random guy's house on a Friday evening....)

And it was natural for me to wonder what Mistress was up to.... had she and Jay fallen off the "just friends" wagon when his son went to bed? 

But when she got home at around 10:45 pm or so, it turned out that things were still in the "former fuck buddy" stage.

"No messing around, Slave....are you disapointed?"

"No Mistress, just glad to have you home...."

HNT/ Consequences for a Surly Slave

I thought I had been a good Slave this week. Of course, there was probably a little grousing about the intrusions upon our previously empty nest, and the incontinent cat that recently has substituted a favorite couch for her littler box. But last night I apparently crossed the Mistress's theoretical line when I said something snarky after she put two of our bicycles on the disabled list over a rather short time span last evening.

(One had a flat tire; the other a slipped chain.... what are the odds of that?)

So I suppose I said something inappropriately sarcastic, like "two in one night, Mistress.... now that's a record.....", probably motivated by the fact that it would be Slave's duty to don my "bike mechanic" persona and fix both of them before a big ride we contemplate over the weekend.

Yes, I suppose it was that imprudent comment which tipped  my secret accumulation of demerits for the week that Mistress had been adding up into the red penalty zone. (It made me wonder what's been going on over in Suzanne's domain this week, and whether Tammy has done anything of equal impertinence to justify a month in that infernal chastity device.... but I digress.)

In any event the consequences were swift.

"I've had enough of the surliness, Slave.... you deserve a punishment."

Mistress, still in her wet biking attire (did I mention she was riding in the rain.... or rather walking after the chain came off), closed the door to the Executive Suite, and told me to roll over and pull down my shorts. She groused a bit more as she searched for the riding crop in our closet that had accumulated a bit of dust over the last few weeks of my "good behavior".

"I hope the girls don't hear this Slave."

I suppose it was possible, since they wer just down the hall, watching some reality show on their computers, but I tried my best to stifle my own pathetic cries of distress  as she gave me about ten hard whacks with her crop, as my ass bounced off the bed with each blow.

Ouch.

Then she snapped this photo with her I-phone and emailed it to my account.

"I want to see this posted in the morning, Slave."


"Yes, Mistress....."

Afterwords, I redeemed myself with some worship to Mistress's damp and well exercised clean shaven folds.

At least then I did not have to  worry about "holding my tongue" for that task.

Everyone Needs a Critic

Here in River City, Mistress and Slave are doing their best to get used to the intrusion upon our privacy by two young women who have "made themselves at home".

The older one really isn't much of a bother. She's taking a Science class this summer, and tends to keep to herself and her cats.

The younger one, however, likes to make her presence known, usually by finding  things to criticize her parents about.  Sunday it was her interrupting my breakfast out on our deck to ask when I was going to the grocery store to pick up some food items she required, then adding "you've got food on your face...." Well I was eating breakfast, and Mistress didn't seem to be offended if there was (literally) a little egg on my face.

Yesterday she was taking issue with Mistress's shoes (they make your feet seem too small?); legs (too tanned or slippery?) and dress (too bright?).

Then for dinner last night, the non-meat eater took issue with the lox I had purchased to put on a salad. "I don't like that type". When I pointed out it was basically the same stuff she had ordered on ehr $10 bagel Friday morning in DC, she acted like I was insane.

It's going to be a long summer with them.

Fortunately, they have gotten used to the fact that we seal ourselves off in the Executive Suite here at the UCTMW World HQ for long unexplainable periods of time, as we did last night after a long work day.

Mistress was due some worship, and Slave was happy to play his proper role in releasing a little of that long Monday stress.

But no sooner had she finished with her little orgasmic hors deurveher text message chime went off.

"When's dinner."

Well, at least she hadn't barged in to ask the question.

Coming Back to Ground

It's been a rather crazy week for the cast here at UCTMW HQ.

Mistress got home Wednesday evening from her trip to the Islands with the cute Co-Ed.

Then the next morning, I was driving East to collect our 2nd Co-Ed.

It was a long drive, repeated the next day for the return slog, after a little sidetrip to our nation's capitol, where we shared dinner with one of my older daughter's and her fiance.

Fortunately, on Wednesday evening, Mistress gave Slave a little reminder why I missed her over the 5 long days of her trip. Although the no touch rule had been lifted while she was gone, I did not abuse the privilege. So when we climbed into the sack, for a little welcome home / bon voyage sex that night, there was ample worship, cock riding and all the bells and whistles that come with it, and a good deal of sexual tension was lifted, at least for a while.

Then I was off. And after two days on the road, back again on Friday evening, a station wagon of college girl detritus and one sullen girl in tow, already whining about how bored she would be back here in the heartland.

Since then we've been readjusting to the presence of two extra, intrusive bodies here at the UCTMW World HQ.  Until you actually get to enjoy the empty nest after (for me) nearly 35 years of child rearing, you don't actually realize what you've been missing.

But now, believe me,  we do.

All the extra mess, the need to adjust a "feeding" schedule, and accommodate the diets, schedules and quirks of those extra mouths and bodies.

And the change in privacy settings, well that's a whole other matter.

I had to remind Mistress last evening that she may want to slide into some of those sexy panties before she parked down on the couch with me to share some pizza and watch a movie, since our two daughters were likely to raise disapproving eyebrows if the caught sight of those lush, clean shaven folds. Yes, I know, that sounds like a Slave who is getting too "uppity", but hopefully Mistress saw it as just a friendly reminder, not me being too bossy.

Sadly, we will have to go back into stifle and conceal mode through the summer here. Either that, or follow the advice that Donna gave me a few weeks ago.

"Maybe you just rent them some cool pad somewhere across town for the summer."

Not a bad idea, Donna. Or maybe we send them your way... how about an unpaid internship on BDSM?  Could they get credit for that in College?

Move On. Nothing to Read Here.

Slave has little to report on from the UCTMW World HQ, where we are short staffed this week.

Mistress remains in an exotic locale with our cute Co-Ed. Today she reports swimming with sharks! (Isn't that what she does every work day, you ask?)

Slave followed orders and scrunched into my cage this morning, sending a little photo of her cock off for her to inspect and approve.

She texted back her approval of the package in its little steel container.

When we talked this morning she was curious to know whether I had exercised my "privileges" and I had to confirm that, in fact, left to my own devices and without the burden of the "no touch" rule, well.... you can only imagine what happens.

Mistress gets home Wednesday night. But Thursday morning, I am driving off to the East Coast to collect the 2nd cute C0-Ed who is finishing up her college year this week.

So there will be some mean, nasty, urgent and desperate catching up to do Wednesday night here in River City.

Hope we don't disturb the neighbors on the other side of the river.

A Wise and Indulgent Mistress

Mistress and our cute co-ed are off for a "girls weekend". Some sun and indulgence in honor of a 21st birthday that Mistress is treating our daughter too.

Just the two of them. I've just talked to Mistress, and she reports that the weather is lovely and they've spent a good chuck of the day in the bikinis. No doubt they have turned a few heads.

Slave remained home, putting in a little work on our house, catching up with yard work, and spending time with my grandsons.  Tonight I'll even have dinner with my grumpy and deteriorating Mother.

Now I know that some of you out there figured this should be Mistress's opportunity to "crack down" on her pampered Slave.

But it turns out she's been pretty indulgent.

I'm wearing the cage when I leave the house. But can take it off when I'm home, or bike riding.

And she's even suspended the "no touch" rule while she is gone.

"I wouldn't want you to get all 'pent up', Slave....."

No that would be bad... plus it's Masturbation Month.

Maybe I need to find out where the WC gets that high priced lubricant he used to charge to the UCTMW AMEX Card.

Nest Re-Infestation

After a school year of freedom, our empty nest is refilling as of tonight. The cute Co-Ed is driving back from campus after her exam week,

Mistress and Slave will have to get used to "stifling" their fun for the next several months.

But Mistress may be taking her last liberties at home this afternoon with another Friday lunch served to her former lover Jay, here at the UCTMW World HQ.

The situation with her and Jay is certainly confusing, isn't it?

He's still texting, calling, and soliciting lunch or drink "dates". There's a bit of making out thrown in, high school  style. But Jay has this strange reluctance to pull the trigger. He pines in silence, because, as you might have heard, Mistress is married, and well, somehow that now troubles Jay. Oddly, Mistress is willing to tolerate this strange behavior from a grown up, seemingly red blooded guy.

"We've gotten to be friends, Slave.... and he's still fun to be around."

So from friends with benefits to just plain friends?

"But I suppose I would still fuck him if he ever got his head out of his ass."

Makes sense to me.

Certainly more sense than Steve, who came here last night, and went home with those freshly bought condoms still all wrapped up.

On the drive home last night, Mistress confessed that after due deliberation she just wasn't that into Steve... nice guy, but....well no chemistry at all.

So what do you do? Cancel dinner so he they both have an easy and less uncomfortable out? Or fix him  a nice dinner and then send him packing.

Mistress opted for # 2.

I mean, I had already gone shopping for dinner for three.

The two of them had a little conversation in the living room as Slave fixed dinner. And it was clear he took the news, "like a man" but with some degree of disapointment.

Mistress gave me a little aside as I popped the trout out of the broiler.

"I was afraid he was going to cry, Slave...."

Yikes.

We did make it through dinner. Steve is a nice guy, but sadly geeky and way too scrawny and unsophisticated  for Mistress.

He did have some funny stories to share with us about his trips with his wife to some local swingers clubs. And we shared our strange "dungeon" story. We had some laughs (though his laugh was a little odd and kind of unnerving).

After dinner.... well there was no "dessert" served before Mistress sent Steve backed to his wife.

Sad in a way, but no way should Mistress bed someone not compelling.

So it looks like she's stuck with Slave through the summer months. That is unless Jay decides to his head out of his Ass.

We will keep you updated.

To Fawn or Not to Fawn?

Mistress had dinner Monday night with Steve - sushi at a local spot she enjoys - and it sounds like there was a brief "make-out" session outside the restaurant before she headed home. I suspect she would have indulged Steve a little more but for the fact that its one of those neighborhoods where a friend of a daughter, a business acquaintance or former lover might have noticed her brazen PDA and spread all sorts of nasty gossip. Maybe there could have even been a "snap chat" taken to share far and wide.

You never can be too careful.

"So how was his kiss, Mistress?"

"He's a good kisser, Slave."

In any event, she's invited Steve over for dinner Thursday evening, a last chance encounter here until the curtain falls on our empty nest for the summer months. I am already doing some menu planning.

But you can tell Mistress is a little torn on how this budding romance will go.

"He's nice. Funny. Smart."

"And he clearly is smitten by you Mistress, based on all those texts you've told me about...."

"Oh yes, he clearly is, and is definitely laying it on."

"That's good, Mistress....better than all those guys who show some interest then just fade away...."

"Yes, but.... well, he's almost too sensitive...."

So there's the rub. Mistress likes ardor, but there is some fine line between expressing one's unmistakable attraction and appearing too much the "fawner".

"But I thought you liked fawning, Mistress..... I know I'm not much of a fawner, so some supplemental fawning might be good for you."

"No Slave.... you don't fawn well at all... I wish you'd do a little more fawning...."

Of course, after yesterday's day in the cage, I was probably a little better at showing my own ardor at the end of the day. We both left work a little early, and when I got home, I made sure to worship with a full measure of devotion, hoping that Mistress would unlock my cage before our bike ride. I must have done a sufficient job, because the cage came off, allowing me to ride without the risk of cock decapitation when I took to the hills and valleys of our neighborhood.

Then, after our ride, Mistress allowed me to deploy my finally freed apendage in the manner nature intended. Ahhhh.....

After we came up for air, Mistress did show me a rather long text from Steve which described in some detail and with proper grammar and punctuation how his own cock had been acting after their dinner together as he contemplated her charms.

"It's a little yucky, Slave....I'm not sure I want to know those details...."

"But what about the guys who send those cock shots via text, Mistress.... you prefer "show" to "tell"?"

"I suppose you have a point, Slave...."

I did notice that Steve mentioned in his text that he had found the style of condom that Mistress prefers... so it may be natural that Steve has been doing a little fantasizing about his own prospects for Thursday evening.

Locked Up Lecturer

After what some might argue is a meddlesome and persistent lobbying campaign by a certain competitor in the sex blogosphere, my beloved Mistress decided it was time for a crackdown on my liberty. 

"She's right, Slave. You probably need more cage time. Otherwise you develop an uppity attitude". 

Unfortunately, Mistress elected to commence her crackdown on a morning when I had to be out the door at 7 am to teach some clients and colleagues at a continuing education seminar. So not only was I locked up by Mistress without the normal wake-up sex which like certain over the counter products helps to "reduce swelling". I was also forced to stand and present for about 40 minutes this am. Hopefully the crowd was more focused on my desultory power point. Rather than that steely lump in my trousers that  had me fidgeting a little more than normal. 

At least there were no metal detectors at the venue to talk my way through. 

Fortunately, and unlike poor Tammy, unfairly condemned to a month if chastity, I anticipate an "early release" this evening when Mistress gets a hankering for her work-a-day cock. 

Dinner Date

Here in River City its been a little gloomy today. It would be a good night for Mistress and Slave to head home, crawl into bed and let nature take its course.

Unfortunately, Slave has to accompany some of my colleagues from out of town to dinner, in advance of a seminar we have to put in in the morning. Of course, I gave Mistress plenty of advanced notice about my inability to amuse and serve her properly this evening.

And that gave her the opportunity to schedule a dinner date with Steve, her latest AM suitor. This is the guy who she interviewed in our living room Sunday afternoon. So he must have passed that initial screening and is now worthy of some additional scrutiny.

Apparently he and his wife also have gone to some local "swinger" clubs, and she's clued in on this budding courtship.

"He said I can call her and confirm she's cool with it, Slave."

"Hmmm.... that certainly shows his good faith...."

"True.... not sure I need to do that.... but maybe we'll have them both over for dinner some time if this seems worth pursuing."

All very amusing to consider. But the ultimate test is whether there is any sexual chemistry. And the jury is still out on that one.

"He's attentive, Slave.... lot's of nice text messages, but maybe a little too sensitive."

Ahhh.... it's a difficult balance isn't it?

Too macho and aloof, then you're not attentive enough.

Too sensitive, and you're not manly enough.

It's hard to find that sweet spot. I'm not sure how Slave did it, all those years ago.

BTW, Suzanne. You're constant harping about whether I'm in the cage seems to have caught Mistress's attention.

I have a feeling I'll be wearing it tomorrow.

Just Another Sunday at the UCTMW World HQ

It's been a busy weekend for us here in River City. We had one of those civic fund raiser events to attend Friday evening, and then dinner with some friends last night that lasted a little too let, and lefte us both a little bleary eyed this am. And there were some activities with my grand kids and a visit to my grumpy mother to cram the day.

Sadly, it's our last empty nest weekend for some time. The older co-ed will be back on Friday, and the following week it will be time to pick up the other one on her lovely little college campus on the East Coast.

Where did the time go?  We're going to have to get used to keeping our door closed, the volume down, and the extra guys on the low down until late August!

So you won't be surprised to learn Mistress and Slave have made a little extra time this weekend, despite our crammed schedule, for some time between the sheets.

There was some wake-up sex Saturday morning, and some late afternoon canoodling too before heading to that dinner party.

This morning it was a little gloomy out, so we lingered a little longer in bed, reading the papers before Slave got Mistress's motor running with her favorite power tool. Afterwards, she was more than happy to have me deploy her work-a-day cock as a little chaser for that power induced cum that seem to curl her toes and other body parts.

We did take a late morning bike ride before Mistress moved onto her other business of the day.... and interview with Steve, a fellow she met through AM. The plan was to meet at a local coffee shot, and Slave was doing some "House Slave" duties here after she walked down the street for her "meet and greet".  I had just finished repairing a broken hinge on a kitchen cabinet when I heard the door open.

Was he that much of a dud that she had walked off after only 30 minutes?  She did leave without too high hopes, after a series of duds encountered over the last few weeks.  Steve is a software engineer type, about 6 years younger than Mistress, and purportedly in one of those "open marriages" where he and his wife both see other folks.

"He could be a little too geeky, Slave....nice but not 'hot'".

"You should never settle for less than "hot" Mistress."

So imagine my surprise when Mistress walks up the stairs and says....

"The coffee shop closed early Slave, so I just brought Steve home with me...."

(I don't recall whether Steve was within ear shot when Mistress mentioned the "slave" part, but that is worth considering, isn't it?")

So they are down in the living room, chatting away on the couch, while Slave adjourned upstairs with the Times and my laptop. Now I'm watching the Knicks and blogging on a rainy day with a bit of a cuckoldy edge to it.

Guess we'll have to report more details tomorrow on how this interview goes.

Furtive Blogging

Slave was out the door early this am, heading north to our flat as a pancake state Capitol for some tedious "continuing education". Mistress on the other hand was planning a "work from home" day and so I figured she would be sleeping in, meaning that Slave was not expecting the treat of our typical session of wake up sex

So imagine my surprise when I heard Mistress paging me from the executive suite at around 6:30 am. You can bet I dropped the morning paper pronto to make my self available for some worship . And once Mistress was sufficiently pleasured, she called out for "my cock".

You can bet it was promptly made available to her!

Now I am furtively reporting to you via iPhone while a lecturing colleague bloviate a away.

Back at home Mistress is planning to serve a light lunch to Jay, her former lover who is stopping by to entertain her.

Last week at lunch there was a little high school make out session before he went back to work.

I' m wondering if today he'll get back to 2nd base.

New Marketing Opportunity?

The other day over at Finding My Submission , Sin posted a helpful blog in response to a reader's question about what type of nipple clamps are on the market and the various advantages (or would that really be disadvantages) the competing options present. She gave us a tour through the various styles of products on the market with handy pointers on the types and quality of pain they can inflict.

(Funny, the only reader questions I ever seem to get are of the "why aren't you in the cage today, Mick?" variety, but I digress).

Of course, Sin does appear to be an expert on the subject since her "Big Bad" Dom seems to require her to submit to various forms of nipple torture in the most unusual of settings - parking lots, lady's rooms, the office, grocery store, etc. He really is a sadistic sombitch it seems, but then an interesting, long running  blog probably requires one or two characters like that to sustain the entertainment value and melodrama.

But Sin's post gave me one of those bright ideas for expanding the UCTMW media empire which I simply had to share.

What about a sex paraphenalia shopping channel on cable, designed for the folks like Sin's questioning reader who want the skinny on what's on the market and have a credit card handy to call the number on the bottom of the screen and make that impulse buy. We'd be spreading joy and collecting cash at the same time!

Sin could be available to display and demonstrate the proper application of nipple clamps, either in the studio, or from some of those remote locations she blogs about. Maybe one where she is shoveling snow, or making breakfast for her kids while "secretly" clamped.... the secret known only to the studio audience (of course you need one of those, with slack jawed ex-urbanites who clap like seals whenever the floor manager gives the signal).

Suzanne and Tammy over at All Mine would certainly be helpful in demonstrating the various products on the market for the proper "pegging" of a submissive.... from strap on starter kits, to the more complex products on the market. I'm sure we'd all like to get a look at "Big Blackie" in action. And they could give pointers from the perspectives of "pegger" and "peggee" on the advantages and disadvantages of the many products available just a phone call away.

Of course, your UCTMW Executive Editor  could offer a line of cock cage products for the discerning Domme concerned about the proper security of her Slave or Sub, ranging from the lighter weight plastic models that can slip through airport or court house security to the sturdier and more compelling steel models. (no live modeling for me of course... we need to keep this classy!)

"Nothing says "your cock belongs to me" like stainless steel, ladies and gentlemen in TV land...."

Our Director of Security, International might peddle a line of floggers, since that seems to be a particularly specialty for him and Donna.

And our Western Correspondent.... well.... Since he buys lubricants by the drum load, maybe he can do a special segment on products available  to avoid abrasions when you masturbate the day away.