Endurance

Let me get to the heart of the matter. And I realize that this may strike a terrible blow to the credibility of Molly and Mick as the couple with (allegedly) the most active sex life in the blog-o-sphere. (Not including masturbation .... that title clearly belongs to the WC).

THERE WAS NO SEX HERE TUESDAY!

You see, Mistress had a day trip to the Big Apple with some colleagues. It was a dreary cold and rainy day. Like a good Slave, I offered to drive her  to the airport and pick her up. We had to rise at 5 am, and well.... that's just too danged early for our typical wake up sex. And Mistress was so focused on putting on all the armour for an important new business pitch that she did not even have time to read the blog and enjoy the attention of Mick's well trained lips and tongue.

She did snap this photo of her "Day in the City" boots, as we drove in the rain and dark yesterday morning, leaving at around 5:30 am. She mentioned she had worn those special peek-a-boo tights, a little tantalizing hint of what might be in store when she returned. (Or for anyone happening to be in the right vantage point during the day should she uncross those very fit legs with her skirt hiked up just a bit).

Her plane returned to River City a little past schedule, at around 7:30 pm. Amazingly, it was still dark and the rain had gotten even worse. By the time we got home, Slave was hungry, and made a turkey sandwich from our TG Day leftovers. We relaxed, settled into the couch and caught up on our day, watched a bit of the Woody Allen documentary we had DVR'ed from last week. But not long after the part about the filming of Manhattan (Slave's favorite movie of all time!), I noticed that Mistress was drifting off.

My window of opportunity had shut. And though she was still in those peek-a-boo tights, by the time I got her up to bed, she was actually too exhausted for worship, let alone allowing me to fuck her.

The poor girl had a long and stressful day. And was certainly entitled to take a pass.

But I don't think the winter here will be quite as cold and lonely as the kind these poor suckers had:

Mistress was merciful enough that she slept in those special tights, and Slave will be heading upstairs soon to the Executive suite, to take full advantage. See, I am a pampered Slave after all.

Our Senior Correspondent Answers Some Fan Mail

 Mistress is off to the Big Apple at a very early hour in the morning, and her Slave will be taxiing her to the airport. I really don't like the thought of her driving in the dark and rain and finding her way to the local airport so early. Nor do I like the idea of ehr having to drive home after a very long day.  (The only thing lacking is appropriate livery garb). 

Luckily, Donna passed on the following post for me to share with you, passing on some advice garnered from her visit to La Domaine:

The La Domaine series I was writing for UCTMW came to a rather abrupt halt with the side trip of Mick and Molly into the Sex Blogger Protection Program, so it never really came to a logical conclusion. Today I received an email with a question from someone who had read the series, looked around at FetLife, looked at the website and is planning a visit to La Domaine. I think the answer I gave to Mr. Texas' question sums up my feelings about La Domaine quite well and brings the series full circle.


Re: Mistress Collette


From: Mr Texas
To: Donna

I love your writings of your visit to La Domaine. My wife and I are planning a trip there for a couples training long weekend. Any insight or thoughts you may have would be appreciated.

To: Mr Texas

I am so pleased for you both! If your experience is anything like mine, it will be an adventure that enriches the vanilla segments of your life as well as the BDSM segments.

From the outside, La Domaine is an attractive, medium sized home located off the beaten path in a beautiful wooded area of Upstate New York. It is the people, the experience and the dungeon facilities that are all far from ordinary and, to my mind, completely over the top.

The people, Master R, Mistress Collette, the Masters and Mistresses in Training, along with the slaves, are serious about BDSM. These are not Johnny Come Lately, game playing people. These are people who know the history of S&M and who have been part of the lifestyle for most of their lives. They easily recognize the psychological situations and inclinations of their guests, and will do everything they possibly can to meet the wants and needs of you and your wife, probably including a few you don't yet know that you have.

The food, the wine, the conversation are beyond compare. Do not be concerned about the large round table in the living area when you first enter La Domaine, you will find that some of the most interesting, open, intense, frank, and informative discussions you would ever hope to have will take place around that table. And when it comes time to dine, Master will prepare the most extraordinary food and serve amazing wines at that same table. Usually the slaves sit on the floor at their Masters' feet, but not having attended a  Couples Retreat, I cannot say with any certainty what the slaves' situation will be on your upcoming trip. If you are insanely fortunate, Master R may provide a bit of music as the evening progresses.

While you can see much of the dungeon on their website, nothing prepares you for the care and attention that has gone into the dungeon. I think that probably anything you might be able to dream up and fantasize about can be beautifully handled in the dungeon. I continue to dream, literally dream, about all the additional things I would like to do there. From roping and suspension, to different postures and equipment of flogging; from the massage area to the slave's cage, there are rooms and alcoves of scene after scene along with the tools and costumes necessary for those scenes or learning experiences. You will find every possible heft and weight of paddle, whip or flogger and then there are dildos, sounds, butt plugs, assorted nipple clamps, the electrical stimulators, and more. And the really cool thing is that there are experienced people right there ready, willing and anxious to help you with your experiences, ready to teach you how to handle any situation that might possibly arise in the most safe and effective manner, according to what you desire.

My advice is to be as honest, direct and open in your questionnaire and phone interviews as you possibly can, to keep an open mind, and then allow Mistress Collette and Master R to lead you to an experience you will cherish.

If I have not answered your question completely, please let me know and I will try again.

Best wishes for an outstanding adventure,
Donna

Inside UCTMW... New Technology

There's something particularly dreary about waking up on a Monday after a four day weekend and having to put on the work uniform .... and Slave is a little bleary eyed to boot. So this is going to be an abbreviated post. If I want to provide proper service to Mistress, I'd better get off the laptop and up into our warm bed pronto this morning.

I did want to point out that we have now enabled the UCTMW format for those of you following us with a hand held device like an I-phone. Say you wake up, have to scramble off to work, and did not ahve time to get your morning fix of Molly's lush body or our adventures here. Now it's much easier to read us on the train to work, or sitting at your own desk. Maybe in class in college? (It really is hard to think we have students reading this, but one can always dream). Or, creepily enough, in the rest room....

Another feature we've added is to the column on the right of our post that ranks the most popular UCTMW posts, based on page views. Not surprisingly, the Contract entry remains #1. But showing up on the chart this this morning, is the post I did only Friday morning about one extended family's dysfunctional Thanksgiving. for some reason that struck a chord out there (either that or there is some strange search word in there that is  leading folks to it inadvertently).  Go figure.

Sadly, I have no hot switch day activities or photos for you today. The teen was here over the weekend, so yesterday morning, Mistress and Slave opted for some "comfort sex" when we woke up, followed by a quick trip to the gym. Mistress did a very macho 90 minute spinning class, while Slave did a more leisurely work-out.   Afterwords, I took the teen to watch the local pussycats play football, while Mistress stayed home, catching up on a variety of tasks before another challenging work week begins.

She really has been working hard. New job. Hard charging boss, Interesting work, but also a lot more consuming than her prior gig. Slave needs to focus on making her life easier on the home front in the next few weeks, as she gets her arms around the scope of her new duties.

I suspect she may yearn for the more laid back pace of our Western Correspondent. The other day, as we headed for home, she mentioned that the WC had mentioned that "He's going into the office to read some porn."

Nice gig if you can get it. But unfortunately for the WC, UCTMW has yet to launch a 401(k) Plan. And with that new hand held friendly blogger format, now WC doesn't even have to go to his office computer to catch up on life here at the World HQ in privacy.

Our Western Correspondent's Tutorial on Slave Positions

Earlier this week, when reviewing the UCTMW personnel, I mentioned that our Western Correspondent has been living off his past glory, a "Tutorial" on Ass fucking that he wrote more than a year ago for these pages, and which continues to be our second most read posting here. (Check it out to the right).

Apparently this shamed M a bit, and within a day, he put aside his special occasion  cock long enough to generate the following contribution. Donna and Bill pitched in to find a few suitable illustrations, though I considered waiting for switch day, and having Mistress take on some of these positions herself.  

 

Teaching your slave to assume certain positions on command is a very useful and hot way of training a slave.

To begin with, the slave should be completely naked and the master/mistress fully clothed.

Position number one:

Standing with hands behind the neck, shoulders pulled back, breast jutting out, legs spread about 18 inches, and eyes looking down.

This is a great position to inspect your slave. You can pull her by the hair and tilt her head back to kiss .

You can pull, twist or pinch her nipples, twist and squeeze her breasts, or kiss or bite her nipples easily, and comfortably …  for the Dominant.

You can easily reach down and rub, pinch, penetrate and just generally manipulate her genitals to you hearts content.

For a more complete inspection it is simple to proceed to,

Position Number 2:

From postiion number 1, simply have her lean forward, reach back and pull her bottom open as wide as she can.

As an added bonus, this is often very embarrassing for the slave.

The Dominant can then pull up a chair and sit behind the slave very comfortably.

From this vantage point the Dominant has a great view of both the vagina and anus.

I recommend having latex examination gloves and lube on hand to  examine your slave’s vagina, labia, clitoris and rectum fully and completely.

The Dominant can easily and without much effort deeply probe both her holes with one or more fingers.

A speculum is another nice tool to have at your disposal.

From this position it is a snap to have her move her hands to her  knees, and paddle, strap or cane her bare bottom.

It is one of my favorite positions...

Position number 3:

This is one position every slave needs to learn.

On knees and elbows, breasts pressed against the floor, knees spread wide.

In this position the slave is offering you full access to both her holes.

This is an  excellent position to have you slave in while she awaits you attention.

You can read or watch TV or make some phone calls while you enjoy the view.

I like to administer a good sound strapping before kneeling behind her and taking my pleasure in one or both of her holes.

Of course never go from he ass to her vagina, rather go from her cunt to her bottom.

And finally,

For Suzanne,

My favorite.... a variation of the diaper position,

Position number 4:

The slave on her back, knees pulled back over her head so they are resting beside he head and her bottom is pointing strait up in the air.

This position provides great viewing pleasure for the Dominant and is often very embarrassing for the slave.

A nice hard strapping can be administered including directly on the labia or anus.

I can assure you that this will get a wonderful reaction out of your slave.

Fingers and even a whole hand easily can be inserted into your slave from this position. And you can take either one of her holes from above,

Although this does involve the Dominant squatting down form above to fuck her and some Dominants may find this too taxing for their tastes,

I however find that I enjoy it a great deal.

So there is a short tutorial to earn my keep around here.

Hope some of you find it helpful or hot.

The earning his keep,

WC

Slave's Mistake Leads to Some Serious Punishment

It's been a long time since Mistress required her Slave to post a photo of his reddened ass on these pages.... so you know I got into some trouble here at the UCTMW World HQ.

But before we get to that (that tease sounds a bit like your local news break where the blonde with big boobs says "poison gas cloud headed our way?,,,, more details at 11")... let me fill you in on our day here in River City.

It really has been many years since we spent the full blown holiday weekend here at home ... usually we are off to our Mountain hideaway this time of year. Mistress reminded me that we left the morning after TG last year. That's why a Friday with no real schedule seemed so refreshing. There was time for Mistress to sleep in.... to be followed by some slow and sensous wake up sex after she guffawed at my blog tribute to the vagaries of our Feast. 

I was a little concerned that Mistress might be offended that I seemed to pick on her family -- suffice it to say that on Holidays past my family has done more of its own good vibe killing work.  I can recall our first TG together, 20 years ago. Mistress was pregnant, we had just fled our respective spouses and were setting up our "love nest", and yet most of my family was supportive and already in love with the new addition to the family..... But for one sister.

She used some dead air over the holiday table at my (no longer with us) younger  brother's house to pronounce  "what's with my brothers -- dumping wives and finding new flashier models whenever it suits them!" 

Mistress was classy enough not to bolt from the room, or toss a bowl of gravy over my sister's head. 

Fortunately, we all survived and lived to feud another day.... and even that sister has mellowed with the years.

But Mistress took my post in the spirit intended and even added some incidents I missed the night before: like the fact that our guests had already begun chowing down by the time she and I sat down forgoing what I thought was the traditional TG toast to the assembled family members and those missing or departed.

Or the fact that her sister asked the open question at some point "does anyone want to know what I want for Christmas?"  If I'd heard that I might have volunteered a few suggestions: like membership in a pre-paid legal services program; or the phone number of the guy who smoked and deep fried our turkeys, so she would not try to plunder the precious leftovers, as she had done the year before.

After Mistress and I decided we could no longer linger in bed, we took a hearty bike ride on an unseasonably lovely day. Then she was off for a lunch meeting with her boss, and the sullen teen and I went to pick up our Christmas tree - the first one we've had here in about 12 years.

When we got home Mistress was returning, and the teen was conscripted to go on a shopping expedition with her grandma and aunt. Mistress politely declined this opportunity to darken the door of retailers on Black Friday.

Suddenly we were alone.... and Mistress had plans for her Slave.

"Good.... now we have time to give you the ass fucking I've been promising you, Slave."

It had been a while, and since I am a bit of a slut about such things, I happily followed her command to get that ass up stairs and strip. She directed me to get her "supplies", the harness, lube and dildo. But when I completed those tasks, and was down to my undies, I noticed she had found one additional accessory --- her riding crop.

"Down on the bed Slave, on your stomach.... and shed the underwear too."

Gulp.

"To what do I owe this privilege Mistress?"

"You'll find out soon enough, Slave.... just get down there and show me that ass...."

I did, and she immediately began a nice firm and very painful thrashing....I was bouncing off the bed, whining, trying my best to "take it like a man", but was clearly having problems with that... it hurt like hell.

In a brief break, she reminded me of my "fuck-up".

"You know the reason, Slave..... that very unpleasant mistake you made about someone's name the other night, after K's party...."

Ah yes.  We were driving home after a party at her boss's house. Old Mick sometimes struggles with names, and as I was reaching for one name, another one inadvertently popped out of my wine addled lips.... the name of that person who I fucked up with 4 years ago. Events I have mentioned here, that caused Mistress a great deal of heartache, but also led to our Contract.

"Well.... I think what happened is that you had brought her name up earlier, and somehow it floated out of my aging brain Mistress..."

We had talked about it earlier... she cross examining me about whether I had been withholding any contacts with this person.... I reassuring Mistress that it was all ugly ancient history. And yet, rightfully so, it had rattled her.  She was right to let those feelings lead to some catharsis rather than fester, even at the expense of my now throbbing ass.

After that brief discussion, she added a few more firm strokes for good measure.... and I took my medicine. But it sure did  hurt.

"I think I've raised some welts, Slave,,,,".

Her fingers lingered on my ass running along the red ridges she had created.  Then she picked up her I-phone and snapped a photo.

"I want to see this on the blog in the morning, Slave.... to show our friends what happens when you misbehave."

"Yes, Mistress."

She was already in her harness, so the next step was obvious..... Making sure ample lube was applied, she had me on my stomach again, legs slightly spread. She found her target on the first try and was soon thrusting her way into me.

The surprise was how quickly and dramatically Mistress came, with a bone quacking shudder and deep moan of lust.... I surmised that the act of punishing her Slave was quite a turn-on for her, otherwise why did that explosion come so suddenly and with such passion? If that's so, maybe I will  be seeing more frequent punishments in the future?

We shall see.

In any event, once she had her fill of my ass, she stood, tossed her harness aside, and instructed me to insert my "device" (the aneros), and fuck her properly.

And I made sure not to disappoint.

Thanksgiving 2011: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The good part of our day was very very good:

First there was some leisurely morning sex. When Mistress called her Slave up to the Executive Suite I came armed with the morning papers, and we lingered a while catching up with the mostly grim news of the week.

But soon it was time to turn to the blog, and as Mistress read, I plied those clean shaven folds with my highly practiced lips and tongue until Mistress was squirming with pent up desire. When she put the laptop aside I zeroed in for the "kill" and had Mistress spilling over into a nice starter cum.

Of course, by now Slave was fully capable of assuming my preferred position, but Mistress was in no rush, she cuddled close, her soft hand wrapping itself around my needy work-a-day cock, and pumping it slowly to a state of high alert. It took a good deal of begging and squirming on my part to persuade her that my engorged tool had a higher and better use than losing its cool in the palm of her hand.

But finally she succumbed to my pleas and once I had burrowed inside, I made sure to show my gratitude by delivering her an extra climax or two before begging for permission to come.

After that it was up and into our holiday. I did get to spend the morning with my cute grandsons, who always amaze with their ability to charm, as well as create the basis for a feud among themselves.  I mean when confronted with a bowl of pita chips, does it make sense to fight about who gets to eat a particular chip?  As we shall see, this must just be training for family thanksgivings to come....

Sadly, the grandsons and their mom and dad had committed to TG dinner with a splinter wing of the family, So it goes. So I dropped them off, and then headed downtown to pick up the turkeys and dressing we had pre-ordered for our family feast. (Lazy, I know, but we've found our friend makes TG goodies every bit as yummy as we can make with so much less hassle).

When I got home, Mistress was napping in bed, and I joined her for what turned into a long and leisurely nap. Ahhh..... the calm before the storm.

After we struggled back to life, I went for a vigorous bike ride (Mistress had gotten hers in already), in a desperate if likely to be fruitless effort to enhance my metabolism before confronting the feast to come.

By now it was time to turn our attention to the final preparation for our meal, with guests arriving even earlier than invited, clogging the kitchen as I prepared my contribution - sliced carrots prepared in an Irish style I had cribbed from Bon Apetite years ago.

Now we were deep into the Bad and Ugly phase of the day.

I won't bore our audience with the details of the petty behaviors that poisoned a good chunk of our Thanksgiving feast. I'm sure it was no worse than what many of you deal with. And, as planned, most of our guests were out the door within three hours. That's really no worse than a morning at the office dealing with an unpleasant client or task, is it?

And the food was good.

But to dish a little, here are some highlights:

-Molly's Mom, in a huff most of the evening in advance, because after spending this evening with the extended family, Mistress was unwilling to commit to devote her Friday and Saturday to other family events scheduled without any advance consultation. Since when has the ritual of the big family Thanksgiving Day turned into Thanksgiving Weekend?


- My Mom, who each year performs the same Stupid Mother Trick: Without me asking, and knowing that Mistress's Mom will bring her own lavishly home made "artisan" pies, with home made whipped cream, brings two store bought pies and a can of cool whip. Then my Mom has "hurt feelings" when the assembled eaters vote with their stomachs and pick the fluffy and beautiful home made pies, rather than her flat and homely store bought pies. So last night, for 11 folks we had a total of 7 pies, and the predictible occurred. Adding insult to injury, someone pirated away the "serving pieces" that my Mom brought for her boring pies, and stuck them into Mistress's Mom's pies..... the horror! My mother required me to clean the whipped cream off of one before I served her a piece of boring pie.

Usually I play the devoted son, and eat the boring pie, but last night I decided to "act out", pouring myself a stiff Bushmill's and boycotting all pies.  I felt liberated by this act of defiance. Lets call it OccupyPie!

- But the prize for this year in the category of "take the thank out of thanksgiving" went to Mistress's sister and brother in law. She's going through a dispute at work, and seems to be in one of those arguments about whether she was fired or quit. Of course, they have a lawyer, but are always shopping for free advice and sympathy too. AS Slave was laboring with the clean up dish washing tasks, they were both in my face badgering and pestering about all the same questions I had answered for them the night before. And when they weren't doing that, they were bickering in front of us all  about what to do and where to go for vacation at Christmas. Maybe I would have been in a better mood about repeating my free advice (which they of course would not take in any event because it was not the advice  they wanted to hear), if they had actually volunteered to help me load the dishwasher!

They were lucky the turkey carcass did not get dumped on their heads!

But it's over now. The crowd is gone. Mistress awaits upstairs, all warm and ready for me. That's something to be thankful for!

As for next year, well.... Donna, do you think the Yurt will be occupied?

I 

Our Senior Correspondent's Black Friday Shopping Guide

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

We hope our American readers enjoy their own family rituals as we take a break from the work-a-day world and reflect on what we have to be thankful for. Of course, at the top of Slave's list is that after I let her sleep in a little later, I can go up to the executive suite here at UCTMW World HQ and spend some quality time between the sheets with Mistress.


After that the day will be a little hectic. While we will be serving the traditional meal here this evening, the family members in town this year are definitely the C list, too heavily larded with the folks who tend to drain the energy from the room rather than bring it to life. We've been desperately looking for buffer guests to light a fire under the "party", but are coming up dry. Maybe our desperation has scared them off?  


Luckily we've planned some other exercise and R & R time into our day, with dinner not scheduled until 6 pm., which our teen, back from college with lots of laundry in tow, claims is unfashionably late. So dinner will pass quickly and painlessly, the usual suspects will try to take home with them more food than they actually contributed, and with any luck, the crowd will be gone by 9 pm, leaving us a long, relaxing weekend in our semi-empty nest.


Which leads to our feature of the day here. One place you won't find us is anywhere near a shopping mall on "Black Friday". So it's nice that Our Senior Correspondent has come up with her own unique Holiday shopping guide to share with all of us.

 

As Senior Correspondent here at UCTMW, I have taken it upon myself to remind you that Black Friday and Cyber Monday are fast approaching and, in a spirit of generosity, I have put together a list of suggestions for those of the kinky persuasion in your life.

For that special Domme with the teeny little PMS problem, I propose this special bra to offer fair warning to all the subs in the area.

For your friends heavily into bondage, I suggest an answering machine on which you have pre-recorded a message saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm all tied up and can't get to the phone right now, please leave a message."

A monogrammed key ring is a very good gift idea for the Dom or Domme who might be into cuffs and chains with key locks. You might also include the business card for a local locksmith, just in case.

 

Good dental hygiene is a must in the world of BDSM for a whole host of reasons, from nipping and biting to attractively displaying handcuffs, as in this photo. My Dom has never asked me to strike that pose, but if you want your sub to bite the cuff, so to speak, maybe a year's worth of dental care might be fitting.

 



For our friends into pony play, how about a cooling unit. Their suits must be really warm. Or perhaps an apprenticeship with a farrier or groom to pick up helpful hints here and there.




 

Tattoos have become extremely popular in the last few years. Why not design and prepay for that special tattoo for your beloved?
(You Don't have to be an Ohio St. football player to enjoy a fancy tatoo).



 

For the Dom/Domme with everything, you might even arrange for a stay at the BDSM B&B, House of Two in New Zealand.








 

But, whatever you do, take some time to put careful thought into your kinky gift gifting this holiday season. And please, try to remember that the words "As Seen On TV" are not always indicative of a fine, quality gift.

No one wants to create a situation where this sign applies to your 2012 sex life:

Hugs,
Donna

Inside UCTMW.... the HR Function

One of the roles that this humble Slave plays here at UCTMW is attempting to manage our burgeoning "staff". As you cans see from the masthead, we recently added Francois as our occasional  Chef and IT Director. But there are others who have been around a little longer.

The WC.... well as you can tell if you've been following us for long.... his lack of productivity is rather shocking, but not in comparison to his ritualistic abuse of the company credit card. I mean how many drums of high end lubricant can a man go through in 6 months? I understand there may be more surface to cover, what with that special occasion cock. But still....

And both Molly and Mick have done their best to stimulate more editorial contributions. Alas, we think there is some type of writer's block at work that may require us to negotiate some sort of  early retirement package. Either that, or M may never have learned to type with one hand, since his other hand usually has other things on it's mind.

But to his credit, the WC did author what remains the 2nd most viewed posting here at UCTMW... his tutorial on ass fucking that has a link to the right. So we will let him cruise on his past glories, something we should all be entitled to do as those glory years fade. (At least until some young stud Mitt Romney wannabee and his venture capitol firm takes over UCTMW and cleans house, outsourcing our work to some deviants hunkered down in some nondescript apartment block in Indonesia or Serbia).

On the other hand, our Senior Correspondent is a model employee. Creative. Curious. Always pitching new story ideas. I wouldn't exactly say she's a suck up. (I'll leave that to her Husband, Bill). As it turns out she has caught the eye of other sex blog media empires, and recently received an offer to "take over" a blog with a substantial following. I may have to dust off the non-compete I had her sign when she started here about a year ago.... but then there is that pesky thing about "no consideration". Let's hope that she will at least consider all the fringe benefits we provide before she is tempted to move onto to greener pastures.

Bill, our Director of  Security, International is efficient, if a little over zealous.  When we had that recent security breach (not his fault, bu the way, we should have paid closer attention to his warnings about screening all visitors to the World HQ), I had to dissuade Bill from engaging some of his old pals from Mossad who had planned a little rendition op that would have resulted in the potential "leak" spending the rest of her days in some sort of squalid POW camp in an undisclosed location.

Francois has been a nice new addition. But I may need to have him make a house call soon. His IT expertise is in demand.

A little concerned about Monday night's incident with the cock caged Mick popping up among Mistress's photos of Polish sausages and public squares, I decided to spend some time on the computer to make sure that a similar embarrassment would not occur should Mistress elect to show her photos to out of town relatives on Thanksgiving.

As a certain swaggering Texas Governor might say, "Oops."

What did I find? plenty of photos of my reddened ass, cocks of various shames, dimensions and states of attention, plenty of clean shaven folds from many angles. It seems that the photos Mistress has on her I-phone have remigrated back to our large screen home computer, even though I ahd taken great pains in the past to delete them.

I had to spend 40 minutes of so going back, deleting them multiple times.  All those porn shots seem to take a life of their own once they enter the "Cloud".  And while there might be worse ways to go, I can imagine the reaction my old cranky Mom would have when while watching a slide show of Eastern European sights, she sees her 61 year old son's cock in a steel cage.

Francois.... HELP!

Inside UCTMW... Editorial Philosophy

Over the weekend, as Mistress and Slave were walking on a cold and windy beach, Mistress took some time to add to her rock collection. (Mistress studied geology some in college, and has an interesting assortment of rocks around the house.... I guess that thing for hard stuff started early in life for her?)

She reached down into the wet sand at one point and came up with a flat rock about 4 inches long with a hole worn into the middle by the elements.  That twinkle was in her eye.

"Hmmm.... I guess we could put some string through this and tie it to your cock or balls slave...."

I raised my eyebrow.  Was she serious?

"Then we could take a picture and put it up on the blog".

"But that would be inconsistent with editorial policy, Mistress.... we don't do cock or cunt shots.... it's a sex blog.... that would make us a porn blog."

Yes, I guess that is our core editorial policy here: It's a blog about sex; but not a porn blog. We want to appeal to our readers' prurient interests, but add a little redeeming social value too.

So, despite her vast collection, we've never posted a picture of the special occasion  cock sent to Mistress by the WC. Nor have you seen a photo of Mistress's clean shaven folds, or Slave's work-a-day cock.

Well... we did come close at times, I suppose. At one point Sin asked to see a photo of my cock in it's cage. Mistress waited until a day when Slave had somehow "misbehaved" (I know it's hard to believe), and then directed me to post that photo:  but I grained it up a bit, and the steel obscured it sufficiently so that that imaginary line between porn blog and sex blog was not crossed.

Which brings up last night.

Mistress had an old high school friend and her new boyfriend, both in town for the holidays, over for dinner. Before hadn, Slave got the lecture:

"remember no funny comments about my French lover, or other 'stuff'."

"Of course not Mistress.... have I ever blown our cover?"

Well I guess I make little inside jokes from time to time about our subterranean lives.... but never anything that could not have a double meaning.

The guest arrived. I poured us all some wine. Molly, her friend and the boyfriend moved to the living room.

Slave was in the kitchen whipping up some mushroom risotto, but stepping into to join the conversation between stirs of the pot.

At some point, Molly began showing them photos of her trip to Eastern Europe on the big computer monitor in the living room.... and I heard a bit of a kurfuffle.... hmmmmm.  I put down my spoon and stepped into the living room.

Mistress, sensing my presence, looked over her shoulder....."I accidentally showed them some porn, Slave...."

You see those photos of WCs cock, once on an i-phone, seem to live forever, no matter how hard one tries to root them out.  I assumed that's what they had seen.

Of course, they denied seeing anything....but there was a bit of embarrassment all around, smoothed over with a little more wine and that delicious risotto.

After our guests left, I asked Mistress to explain what happened....

"It was your cock in the cage, Slave.... it just flashed on the screen for a moment.... I really don't think they knew what it was."

Oh, Joy.

And thanks, Sin.

Inside UCTMW Week.... The Editorial Board Meeting

A few weeks back, Mistress and Slave watched a documentary (via Netflix) about our favorite newspaper, called "Page One: Inside the New York Times." The point was to open the door and look at the decision making processes that grind out the daily news feed from that "Grey Lady". I suspect the doors were opened at the Times to an independent filmmaker in a probably fruitless attempt to put some human faces on an institution that tries a little too hard to pretend to be God on most days, and has taken its share of lumps from the right wing and the markets in the last decade.... but who are we to judge.

Of course, here at UCTMW we fancy ourselves as at the pinnacle of cheesy sex blog journalism, so why not open up the process a little so all of  you aspiring Mollys and Micks can see how things really get done around here.

Take for example, the role our Publisher, Molly Collins plays in giving a final stamp of approval on our daily output.

As it happens, Mick is usually in charge of  written content on the blog, with the exception of occasional postings from the Publisher's desk .

Indeed, when Molly asks the night before, "what are you going to write about tomorrow, Slave", I am usually coy. For two reasons: 1) I really have no fucking idea: and 2) I like to surprise her with my daily spin on our work and play -a-day lives.  The true test of my success here is not how many page views or shout-outs we get, but whether I get some sort of rise from her as she reads the blog and I work my tongue and lips across her legendary clean shaven folds.

But there is one aspect of the blog where Molly exercises complete editorial control: displays of her likeness.  Take last night for example.

We had arrived home from our weekend trip, and had settled into a nice evening of catching up with the accumulated newspapers and watching some TV (nice Woody Allen bio-documentary on PBS). AS we watched I told Mistress I was going to download some photos from "Switch Day" for the blog.

This definitely got her attention. No sooner had they appeared on the screen than she was leaning over my shoulder, critiquing, approving, or sending some of the photos to the trash bin.

"That one's OK, Slave...."

"Ick.... not that one!"

I've learned not to argue on these matters.  though at one point I noted that the approved photo of her lush ass, reddened by by spanks, was not much different than the one she had condemned, which featured her ass msucles clenched tight as she bucked against her favorite power tool.

"Too many lines, Slave....."

But as you cans see, she did find a few shots that met her discerning eye.

As you can see from the photo montage, Slave did bring sufficient supplies to catch up on some missed Switch Day opportunities over the last few weeks. There was the restraining of Mistress's wrists and ankles; a nice firm spanking, in honor of the re-emergence of E, who has a bit of a spanking fetish that Mistress would so clearly like to accommodate; and then as a final "punishment" I slid the magic wand between those clenched thighs, making Mistress squirm and ultimately beg for permission to come.

I do love the way her ass muscles get so tight in those final throes of abandon. But alas, that photo ended up on the cutting room floor. (Maybe our readers can persuade her to authorize that shot, but I've given up).

When Mistress had her fill, one of those emotional cums that had her face red and damp with tears, I released her ankles and wrists, and flipped her over for a nice thorough fucking.  But, always the good Slave, I made sure to ask permission too.

Blustery Day on the Beach

Mistress and Slave have enjoyed their weekend away.... of course it's not like years past, when a weekend away meant liberation from keeping an eye on our kids. With our (mostly) empty nest, every weekend has become a "getaway" for us.  But still, a charming Inn, away from the weekend chores (and mothers to visit) definitely has a liberating vibe to it.

Mistress slept in a bit yesterday morning, allowing Slave some extra time to pull together the blog for her, as well and scan the news via internet.

Then it was back to bed.... you probably know the drill: worship while she reads, followed by our wake-up sex. But yesterday, Mistress was feeling a bit more frisky, and elected to ride her cock for a while. That always seems to lead to several robust cums, before spent, she "dismounted" and let her Slave finish the job from above.  I was more than happy to do my duty.

Afterwords, we bundled up and headed down to he beach.  Truth be told, it was probably barely tolerable biking weather. But Mistress has given me a pass so far. And we both do like a long walk on this empty beach, that runs for miles below dunes filled with dozens of summer homes, ranging from rustic to over-the-top grand. And though the wind was blustery and the temperatures were in the 40's, we seemed to have dressed properly, allowing an hour long stroll north and then back along the beach. 

That left us hungry for a late breakfast at a spot down the street that was relatively empty for a Saturday morning. It's clear off-season here, with the trees already having shed those colorful leaves.

Football games seem are scheduled to please the TV networks these days rather than for the convenience of fans or players, and yesterday's game at my alma mater was scheduled for 4 pm -- just about twilight here. In essence, it was a night game for all practical purposes. and a cold one too. Mistress is not much of a sports fan, but indulges her slave. She weathered the first half, reading her kindle when it wasn't misting. But she bailed out at halftime for the friendly confines of a coffee house on campus. Of course, I had no problem with that, staying until the bitter and cold end. Fortunately, my team survived a mediocre performance and a whole lot of punts to prevail narrowly in the end.

By the time we got back to our Inn it was nearly 9 pm.... we planned a "picnic" dinner here, watched an old movie on TV and warmed up. I made sure that Mistress got some worship before bedtime though.  She seemed to relish that....

Of course, today is Switch Day.... be assured that Slave was thinking ahead and brought some suitable tools!

From the Lakeshore....

Molly and Mick made it to our little B & B here on the Lakeshore after dark last night. It's a place we've stayed at many times over the years, close enough to drive to my alma mater, but far enough from campus that it is not caught up in all the football weekend hoopla.

When we pulled in, Mistress immediately noticed a car with a bike rack.

"Slave.... someone didn't think it would be too cold to drive!"

Well, it sure seems cold to me. Hopefully she will be content with some long beach walks this morning and tomorrow, or Slave could be punished.

After we unpacked, and caught up with some  emails and blog perusing (Suzanne and Tammy seem to have a busy weekend planned over at All Mine), we got back in the car and headed to a favorite local restaurant, a cafe that specializes in Kurdish cuisine, run by a gentleman who had become a local folk hero due to his battles with the INS about whether he should or should not be deported. Inside there is a bit of a shrine to him, and lots of merchandise with the "Free Ibrahim" logo.  Strange local color, but if we do ever have to go on the Lam again, we may want to consult with him about finding shelter in Kurdistan.
Over dinner, Mistress and I discussed her three current "suitors", if that's a way to characterize them.

Of course, there is Francois, who was able the drop by the other night. "He's fun, isn't he Slave?"
Absolutely, a sexual bon vivant if there ever was one. Though Mistress's new work schedule may make it ahrd for them to get together as frequently as either might like.

Then there is E, who has worked his way back onto the dance card. The question is whether he and Mistress can find some common location where they might "run into" one another. He promises a very thorough spanking should that occur.

Of course, there is also the WC. It's been nearly 2 years since Mistress and the WC began to interact, and although he's been representing that he may find his way to our Mountain Hideaway sometime after the 1st of the year, I think Mistress is skeptical.  "That special occasion cock may make an appearance as frequently as Haley's Comet, Slave."

Fortunately (for me), Mistress does have a fall back plan always available.

"I really don't need any other cocks than yours' Slave."

"That's good to know, Mistress.... but then what's wrong with a little dessert every now and then?"

Last night, we passed on the strange Kurdish dessert available, after filling ourselves with a bottle of wine,  variations of chickpea preparations,  and some tender lamb concoction.

"I think I know what I want for dessert, Slave...."

Rest assured that I made sure she had her full.

Headed North...

Yesterday Mistress was able to make her way over to my office to meet me for lunch, as well as a little pre-meal appetizer. While we can still drive to work together as our schedule allows, her new office is on the periphery of River City's downtown, so it's a little too far to walk for some impromptu sexual indulgence, particularly when the weather gets cold, as it has here this week.

As a result, it's more of an occasional "event", for her to stop by the office and allow me to fall to my knees and soak my face with her juices.  She had a form fitting black dress on yesterday, some conventional black tights, and black boots on for her visit. So after I pulled her "throne" into place, and placed it against the door, I got to watch her hitch her dress up, shimmy out of one leg of those tights, and remove a single boot to give her Slave access.

Slave does get into a bit of a zone when I'm there on my knees, crushed between her thighs, savoring her addictive sauce. So I lost track of time a bit, in a daze, until her hips jerked several times, as she stifled her moan of delight. I kept at it though, until she pushed my head back, satisfied, at least for the moment.

Standing now before her, I savored that cheshire cat grin that reflects her satisfaction with the moment. 

Truly delicious.

After work we headed to our gym, then came home to pack for our weekend excursion.  We are headed north, to my alma mater, for the final home game of the season.  Their opponent is a team that hales from the region of the country where Suzanne, Jay and Tammy at All Mine call home. And earlier this fall we had extended an invitation for them to join us. We even had potential wagers in mind. But, alas.... they are pretty busy this fall, but we will be thinking of them as our respective teams take the field.  Maybe next year, particularly if our sullen teen #2 ends up heading in their direction for college.

We will be staying at a local B & B, about a block from the beach on a Great Lake, and about a 40 minute drive from the stadium. Muy Romantico. And I've already packed an assortment of toys to keep us amused.

As we looked at the weather map we had some planning to consider. Should we take our bikes for exercise.... to me the prospects are pretty grim. Highs below 50, blustery, maybe some rain. Sounds like we'd be better advised to leave the bikes at home, and just bundle up for a walk on the beach.

Mistress seems inclined to follow my advice on this. But if it turns out we have biking weather, Slave could be due a punishment.

Do you think I should also pack her riding crop?

HNT/ New Computer and Old Sex-tibles.

Yesterday morning, Mistress was pulling on those special peek-a-boo tights (after our wake-up sex and shower) and Slave picked up his camera. But before I could snap a shot showing that clever access providing aperture, she picked up her new laptop (the one she and Francois picked up at the "black market") to answer some work emails.  She is a busy Mistress!


But I think it still turned out to be a pretty hot photo to share with our dozens of discerning readers. (actually we are back up to about 1000 page views a day, so it didn't take long for folks to realize we are back from blogger exile.)


Earlier this week, Miss Behavior asked whether we had acquired any exotic sex toys while in Yak-it-Stan on the Lam. Unfortunately, we did not have enough time for any real shopping at the 2nd hand stores, but the question got our Senior Correspondent doing a little research, and she came up with these ideas for stocking the Yurt for the next sex blogger who needs to hide out for a while. Here is her report:

The world’s oldest dildo.

It’s a strapping, 6 inch, stone-carved, black penis made out of delicious, hard antler bone…

Ben-Wa Balls
Initially a single, solid spherical orb inserted into the vagina before intercourse to increase sexual stimulation for the man, they evolved into a pair of balls, one solid, one hollow, which when inserted together bump into each other as the woman moves, and meant to be worn throughout the day to bring sustained sexual pleasure.

 

It was during the Jin and Song Dynasties of China (800 BP) that the penis or "cock" ring became a popular bedroom accessory across Asia.  ("Cock" derived from the erect, strutting behavior of a red-headed rooster.)  Documents from the period describe the first rin

gs as being made from the eyelids of goats–with the lashes still intact.  The eyelid rings are said to have been tied around a man’s erection, with the hardened lashes intended to add additional stimulation for the woman during thrusting. 
By 400 BP, penis rings were being carved from ivory and were used primarily to help men maintain erections longer.  Over the next few centuries, little nubs were added to the ring to act as clitoris stimulators–giving both partners enhanced pleasure and presumably, better orgasms.  Penis rings later became status symbols throughout China, with wealthy and prominent men opting for rare and exotic materials to encircle and draw attention to their members.





Linguistically derived from the Greek term "oblisbo" (in Latin, "to open wide,") dildos were commonly made of wood or leather, with diaries from the period explaining that liberal amounts of olive oil were needed for easy insertion.  (But considering the number of such tools that have survived, lack of refinement didn’t seem to prevent their regular and wide-spread use!)                                                                                                                            

In 1869 the first vaginal vibrator was introduced.  Developed by an American physician, George Taylor, it was a large and cumbersome steam-powered apparatus [pictured below] which made a lot of noise and often malfunctioned at inopportune times.  (Not unlike the batteries going dead in a modern "personal massager" while in mid stroke!)   It was prescribed for women who were clinically diagnosed with a disorder called, "female hysteria," whose symptoms included anxiety, irritability, "pelvic heaviness," and excessive vaginal wetness–a condition for which doctors had initially hand-manipulated women vaginas (masturbated them to orgasm).  This simulated intercourse device was seen as a far more efficient method than manual manipulation as "hysteria" was known to be a recurring condition and "proper" women of the era did not masturbate themselves.  It should be noted that this devise was made available to the public during the Victorian Era, an ultra-conservative period of American history, during which rubber dildos and butt plugs were also introduced.

Back to the misunderstood dildo. Early toys, in many parts of the Mid-eastern world consisted of dried camel dung coated with a hard resin, served their purpose. It would seem that this early dildo might have had a few definite drawbacks though. The smell for one. Can you imagine? The resin may have served to block the odor, but it certainly could not have eliminated it. Unless of course camel dung when dried did not retain its aroma. I suppose it is entirely possible that the hot dry desert climes may have dried it to potential marble-like hardness.

Model of a phallus from a phallic cult. Iron Age II A  Israel Museum(IDAM), Jerusalem, Israel

My guess is that if we had poked around some antique stores, we could have found one of these molded from Yak dung for our collection. Dang.

Skip the Dinner....

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