Ashley Madison Meltdown

Mistress and Slave exploited one of the last Friday evenings of our River City summer last night - we both skipped away from work early to meet at the swim club. Slave slid a couple of bottles of wine into my back pack. Sitting at a corner of the pool deck, we sipped wine and read as the warm sun slowly sank into a beautiful sunset.

It was a nice way to end the week.

But of course some folks' week was not as enjoyable.  I'm thinking of all those celebrities, politicians and government employees outed this week when the Ashley Madison hackers did their big data dump.  No wonder the stock market crashed! There were probably more than a few horny hedge fund managers liquidating their accounts and packing their bags to stay one step ahead of an angry spouse or a reporter from Buzz Feed.  This headline from AM's home town paper in Toronto captures the panic:
 

EXCLUSIVE: Hollywood actor, NFL star and a top politician are among celebrities 'frantically calling up expensive damage limitation experts over the Ashley Madison hack'

• Celebrities are 'desperately' calling up experts to help them manage their reputations following Ashley Madison leak, Daily Mail Online can reveal
• These include actor from a recent Hollywood action film, top NFL player, reality TV star, well-known Southern politician and a Coca Cola executive
• Stars worry being publicly outed as cheats will destroy their reputations
• One company, Reputation Management Consultants, has received record number of calls from celebrities panicking about the hack and data leak
• One 'was so scared of his marriage falling apart he cried for five minutes'
• Another feared family would actually kill him if they found out, it is said
• Firm charges clients between $10,000 and $100,000 a month for service
• But CEO said some celebrities used unknown emails to set up accounts - and did not use their names/credit cards - so may never been found out
• Data shared online by hackers lists the name, home address, IP address, credit card details, and email address of paying Ashley Madison users  
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  At least all those “reputation management” experts will have a little extra income in the next few months as they cook up narratives to explain why all those actors, jocks and politicians had trouble finding babes the old fashioned way.
  
  
   It got Mistress and slave chuckling about the local museum director who popped up on her AM account a few years back: The guy who comes off like the combination of a Presbyterian Minister and Funeral Director in public, but apparently has a wilder side. Or wants to have a wilder side.
  
  
  I liked the story about the State GOP Chair from Louisiana, who admitted he had an AM account, but said it was purely to conduct “opposition research”. Was he trying to set a honey trap for Mary Landrieu?
  
  
  Then there was the Reality TV holier than thou Christian conservative megastar, Josh Duggars, who had to admit he had his own AM account.  I'm shocked. Shocked. Will the Duck Dynasty guys show up next?
  
  
  As a prophylactic measure, Slave did check our own email accounts on one of the web sites that popped up this week to let the curious (or worried spouses) check to see who was using AM.  I did find that no name gmail account we have used there. But not our individual accounts.  Hopefully that means we’ve dodged any embarrassing bullets.  But Mistress, who is a bit of a “reputation manager” in her own right, has already worked up a plan:
  
  
  “If anyone says I’ve been on AM, we can just say that you and I did it jointly, as a prank to see who was on there and using it …. it was just marital fun!”
  
  
  “And for the most part, that’s true, Mistress…. We were getting laughs out of all those horny suburban guys in boring marriages, trolling for a little side-dish nookie.”
  
  
  The sad part is that the age of AM, or any other internet “hook-up” sites,  is now clearly over. I suppose Cuckold match-making will have to go back to the agrarian age – maybe Mistress can start meeting buff farmers at barn raisings!
  
  
  
  
  
  
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