Mistress's New "F & F" Weight Loss Regime

With the new year, Mistress resolved to embark on a weight loss crusade.

"You look beautiful to me, Mistress", was my natural response. But she has an overly  critical eye when looking in the mirror and decided it was time to shed a few pounds. She found some diet involving "fasting" two days each week, limiting oneself to a crazily low calorie count.

But  yesterday she put a new twist on it: the "fast and fuck diet".

First there was the traditional wake-up sex here at the UCTMW World HQ. Quick but oh so delicious as far as your humble slave was concerned. It got me out the door with a snap to my step, despite the grim gray skies and scattered snow showers.

But with Mistress on a more flexible work schedule these days, she had scheduled a special lunch break with her lover, Jay.

Jay has sole custody of a rather rambunctious child, so it's been hard for them to schedule evenings alone. And with the long holiday break, they'd really no been able to get together for a while. So at around 11:30 am Mistress called to say she was headed over to Jay's house, and she was off my radar screen until around 2:30 or so.

When she called you could tell from the tone of her voice that she'd had a busy lunch break.

"He made me one of his own high energy low fat shakes Slave.... then, well we just fucked for about two hours...."

At home last evening, before we headed for the airport to pick up our junior cute Co-Ed who had been on a trip overseas during her break, I engaged a little post cuckold worship, bathing those well used clean shaven folds with my lips and tongue while Mistress went into a little more detail about her afternoon.

"It was one of those Jay fucking marathons, Slave.... we did it in just about every position: him on top, me on top, him from behind.....he's really the best of all those guys I've tried out....."

"Ummmm..... well that's fortunate then Mistress....."

"Afterwards he said 'why don't we do this more often', I just looked at him like..... no one's stopping you....."

Sounds like Jay also shares my opinion about whether Mistress should lose some weight:

"He says he doesn't know how he feels about me being much smaller than I am.... particularly my breasts, Slave...."

"That would be a shame, Mistress."

 Mistress did not indulge her Slave's work-a-day cock last night. It seemed she had plenty of exercise and her parts probably needed a rest after the gentle cum I gave her with my worship.

"My thighs are sore, Slave", she mentioned when we arrived at the airport.

"No doubt".

But I think she'll be ready for me this morning. After she checks the scales to see how that whole "fast and fuck" regime worked out.

Internationally Famous Domme and Sports Wagerer Goes Convenieintly Missing?

This weekend brings the penultimate encounters of the seemingly endless NFL season. And the marquee affair is one of a long and storied series of match-ups between Peyton Manning, now of the Denver Broncos and Tom Brady, who has stuck with the New England Patriots through his career.

Manning, in the twilight of his career, has once again given his team a record setting regular season. He's one of those good-old-boy types from a deep red state, but now  presents himself more like a stock broker panhandling for high net worth clients, than some cracker from Mississippi. He's very button down in those  post game press conferences, like he's rehearsing for a career as Governor of Nebraska. Was this the same guy who appeared as a cut up on Saturday Night Live early in his career? The trouble is that in the post-season, he has tended to flinch, under-performing when the games count the most.

On the other hand, Tom Brady, who came to the Pats by way of Michigan as a late round draft choice, has cultivated the glamor boy look, particularly after he hooked up with that super model, who seems to keep him on a very short leash. The way he stands tall in the pocket makes you think she sometimes forgets to remove the butt plug or cock cage before game time. Tom is more often seen in a tux, with that spikey hair coif than in his sweats at practice.But he does seem to peak at the right time, taking his team farther and deeper in the pay-offs on a consistent basis than any of his contemporaries.

Yeah, I know, they are just jocks. Why write about them in some sex blog, Mick?

Well my point is that two of the "friends of UCTMW", Suzanne over at All Mine, and our underproductive Western Correspondent, have some skin in this game. The WC is a die hard "Donkeys" fan, convinced that "PFM" is the 2nd coming of John Elway and will return his team to the promised land. While Suzanne has a soft spot for her Patriots, and probably would like sloppy seconds with Mr. Glamour Boy when Giselle is done with her pre-game ass fucking.

In light of these competitive interests, one would think there could be constructed a colorful cross-blog wager over the outcome of this weekend's mammoth struggle, right?  Maybe some surrogate 'back channel" take downs involving Mike or Suzanne? Or how about Suzanne's lover Jay being the "butt boy" for a change.... he has the season tix right? What if he and Tammy trade places for a week, with Jay in the cock cage doing the fluffing, should the mighty Brady strike out.

It had such great potential.

But then something mysterious happened. Suddenly Suzanne and  ALL Mine went dark this week. Right in the middle of the play-offs.

Is she on some secret mission: maybe accompanying her former Senator, John Kerry to the Middle East to give Syrian President Assad a taste of what he's missing to induce him into exile?

Or could she be on an undercover mission to Moscow, hoping to retrieve Bob Kraft's Super Bowl ring from President Putin. They say he's going a little soft, releasing Pussy Riot and all. Maybe Suzanne brought Big Blackie along to REALLY bring out Vladdy's feminine side?

On the other hand, maybe Suzanne is just dodging the bet, her confidence in the outcome and Mr. Glamor Boy fading. PFM's win over the weekend, after three consecutive play-off busts, suggests he may have overcome his post-season jitters. And the last  time Glamour Boy faced a Manning in the Super Bowl - little brother Eli - well it didn't turn out so well for the Patriots.

Are you hiding from us Suzanne?

What Makes Mistress Blush?

Yesterday Mistress had her annual checkup with her "Lady Parts" Doctor. I guess I wasn't thinking much about the types of questions a female patient is supposed to answer for this little exercise, until she tected me the following photo and a question:

"So how many sexual partners should I say I had in the last year, Slave?"

Well, I did my own quick calculation and came up with three: Me, Jay and Mr. Perfect Cock, who made a cameo re-appearance here back in the summer as I recall. Was there someone else I was missing?

I dutifully responded with, "three if I'm counting right, Mistress".

But when I got home, she confessed that she had only listed one.... Was she a little too embarrassed to confess to her MD that she had a few "side dishes" during the year? Did she expect the MD would cross examine her about making her husband a cuckold?

So how do all you other Dommes with the right to exercise your sexual freedom out there handle these intimate questions? 

(I told her that if you can't be honest with your MD, who can you tell the truth to? But I suppose we all fudge a bit, don't we?)

She did send me another photo from the MD's office once the questionaire was all filled out:

"Fancy stirrups, Slave".

You can even see what appear to be Mistress's black cowboy boots and her undies on the floor.  It made me think that a device like that would be nice to add to my office. It would save some wear and tear on this aging slave's knees when it came time for office worship.

I wonder if my colleague's would notice if I had that sort of furniture delivered? Or could I get some sort of "Transformer" set up that would convert a simple chair into a full gynecological exam table with a few flicks of my wrist? Maybe I'll check EBay.

Dear Molly and Mick.....

Every now and then, Mistress and Slave contemplate writing a book or doing a more mainstream “how to” column or radio show that would share our “wit and wisdom” on how to maintain a vivid and fulfilling sex life. Why don’t we? Well maybe it’s because unveiling our “Mick and Molly” personas to the world would be excruciatingly embarrassing to our kids, or compromise our everyday work lives. Or maybe we’re just too busy having sex.

But then you read something like this in the Washington Post’s “Dear Prudence” column, and you realize there is a crying need our there for our common sense!

Dear Prudence, I'm a woman in my late twenties who's been married to a wonderful man that I'm very sexually attracted to for a few years. We don't have children - yet - but we do have careers, a house, pets, and lots of great friends and fulfilling activities that fill our days. However, our sexual life seems to be somewhat lacking. I enjoy sex when we have it, which is probably around once every two weeks. I tend not to be the instigator and often use the "I'm tired" excuse. I worry that I'm not fulfilling him sexually, even though we've talked about it and we both understand the realities of working full time and try to set aside time when we can. Other than this, we're very happy together. Do you have any tips on how I can feel more gung-ho about sex? How much sex should two happy, healthy people in love be having? Sincerely, Wannabe Sexual Goddess

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January 09, 2014 3:19 PM

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A.

Emily Yoffe :

Normally, two twentysomethings who are attracted to each find they have to carve out some time from their sex life to attend to work, pets, and other obligations, not the other way around. If your "fulfilling activities" make you too tired to have a more robust sex life with your husband, then cut back on the luge classes.  The good news is that you like sex when you have it, the bad news is that you have it about 24 times a year, which is quite wan for childless people your age. It would be one thing if your Sex Point Average was exactly where you two wanted to be, but you acknowledge you're pushing your husband away with the lamest of excuses. So bring this up with him. Tell him you want to be more connected and adventuresome sexually. Say that initiating is not your style, but that maybe you two need to have appointment sex. Sure, that doesn't sound sexy, but having sex is sexy, so note it in your calendars. You make time for friends and animals, so set aside one night during the work week and one day on the weekend for just the two of you. You like it when you do it, so that should be a good incentive to do it more.

Well, al least “Prudence” did not tell “Wannabe” that two times a month was par for the course…. But it seems some more straight forward advice was in order. Here’s how M & M might handle this letter:

Dear Wannabe:

Let’s get this straight, aspiring sex goddess: No kids. Healthy. 20 something. And you claim you get around to some nookie about twice a month (which means it’s actually more like once every 3 weeks or so,  unless the House Wives of Paducah is on?) We hope you realize that prisoners at the Mississippi State Pen have more frequent conjugal visits than that, honey. 2 times is the average Saturday here in the M & M household, and Mick is counting the days until he can sign up for Medicare.

Does your husband really take at face value the “too tired” line? Our bet is that he is spending a lot of otherwise disposable income on high end lubricant. Maybe we can connect him with our Western Correspondent. Together they might qualify for a group discount.

Our recommendation is a sex boot camp: whether on a weekend or during your next holiday from your careers and those other “fulfilling activities”  you use as an excuse to stay out of each other’s pants.  Make it your objective to see exactly how many times you can do it in just one day. Believe Mick, it won’t be easier to do that 10 or 20 years from now.

No TV. No Sunday brunch with all your urbanista friends. No trips to Target where they will let some Russian hacker steal your credit card number.  Just sex, with a little nourishment or a nap thrown in from time to time to keep your energy up. Since M & M lean to the kinky side, how about tossing in a leather collar around your neck, locked to a teather that will let you get no farther than the bed and the little girl’s room.  Let’s see how your hubbie reacts to that.

Once you realize that it’s quite possible for you 20 somethings to do it 4, 5 maybe even 8 times in one day, then it will become apparent that your calendar has a lot more time for fucking than you previously thought.

M & M