Here in River City, Mistress and slave celebrated President's Day with a long bike ride after some invigorating wake up sex at the UCTMW World HQ. In the meantime, down in Florida families buried their gunned down kids, while, just a few miles away our current President stopped his angry tweeting long enough to go golfing at one of his many resorts. President's Day just isn't what it used to be is it? Even the Presidents' Day Mattress store sales may have to think of a new name. Fortunately, we have the Winter Olympics to distract us, with (very blunt) cutting edge coverage courtesy of our Western Correspondent:
Thanks
Molly!!! You are exactly right............ Mick was very mean to
me about my expense account............I warned him but he seems just obsessed
with money! You know Vlad and Mr. T never worry about money....those
boys know how to do it right.
Remember
that time on the Black sea at Vladdie's little vacation home. You
remember the time Vladdie took you horse back riding without his shirt?
Yeah! that time!!!
Talk about
international cuckolding!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway,
please do me a big favor and tell Mick to stop sending me these
bothersome emails about my expense account. I'm just about at the end of
my rope!!! Please inform him that I saved him at
least 30 k in gas money for Borry's plane last night......
Remember----------------[Vlad
bought that house in The Keys you guys couldn't unload,] for 25
large...... ( I mean really large!) So tell Mick that I don't want
to hear about it anymore.........
Enough
said, but I suggest two months...........................................
Okay Mick,
I did do some reporting (at great inconvenience to me personally BTW.)
I did meet Lindsey last night at a Korean wine bar for an
interview.
She was deep
in her cups but just kept repeating "Why the fuck do they
teach chick Chech snowboarders how to ski in
Steamboat?????? I always knew Steamboat was a communist country!!!!"
Poor
Lindsey.... I left her when she was texting Tiger. The last text
I saw from Tiger was "Keep your chin up
baby, at least your wife didn't hit you square in the head with a 9
iron........." "L" did not seem impressed
.............she just had a sad look on her face...... Was hard to watch
boss........
Therefore,
boss ....... I have decided to suspend my reporting duties here in the Koreas (
it is just too emotionally taxing for the poor old WC.)
BUT GREAT
NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bory invited me and plus 1 to this party
tonight. Get this........... they have this chick who
looks just like Hillary who is going to squat down and pee all over this guy
who looks just like Mr. T. (don't tell anybody boss but Borry told us it
might really be Mr. T. under a Bernie mask!). He claims they
dressed Mr. T. up to look like Mike Pence and smuggled him into the Koreas.
Anyway
boss, got to go, Plus One said "I don't believe it is really Mr. T but If
its Pence I got to see this!!!!!!"
Your
intrepid reporter,
WC
Shame on you, WC. So busy partying with the man pulling the strings on the leader of the free world that you failed to get the inside story on that French ice dancing costume malfunction. Let's hope you don't miss any developments on the lady's downhill. Will Lindsay wear her WW outfit? Or will it be Captain America?