Our Western Correspondent Takes Us Higher

Sadly, our Western Correspondent passed on his chance to cover the Russian takeover in Crimea in his unique way. Apparently he left the Cossacks feeling they had some unfinished business with him.  Maybe he's  not so interested in how they want to complete the transaction? And maybe that's good for the UCTMW bottom line, because wherever the WC goes he seems to leave people with their palms out in his wake. . We recently received an angry letter from two lovely ladies wanting us to pick up the tab for the over priced ointments and antibiotics that their "doctor" prescribed to get rid of the nasty rash they claim the WC left behind as a memento of the time he share with them in Sochi.   They sure are cuties. I politely responded that their overnight stand was really just with a "free lancer" (though with an unusually large lance),  and that  UCTMW World Enterprises is not liable for all of his frolics and detours while on assignment. Hopefully they will not "call Saul" about that defense. 

Miguel, next time you are "Steppe - ing Out" make sure to bring condoms!

Instead of getting a few more notches on his belt as a war correspondent, the WC has found a comfort zone in consumer reporting on the burgeoning pot market in his home state, which is giving John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" some posthumous legs:


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(DENVER) Well well well

Now I learn that they are making pot beauty products

I just mailed a brochure describing the products to Mick

Face cream....... no more wrinkles 

Knee cream...  no pain

Massage oils "just give them to your massage guy"   happy ending !!!

Pimples .....rub it on they're gone

But the poor old WC was asking

What about sex oils?????

Well my man Mobly 

At the pot shop assures me the oils can be rubbed on sex organs and it is great ....

Course he thinks everything pot is great

Well 

I will try an experiment since  my lovely bride is high on the idea

Report cumming soon!

Now I never liked smoking pot

Still don't

But on UCTMW's generous budget I did purchase some "raw" bud

I am going to give it away or bake it in a muffin

Sorry Mick I would give it to you but that is illegal 

Or so I am told 

Not being a lawyer I don't know

But

Mobly and his fellow owners of my pot shop told me they had found the "HOLLY GRAIL"

Drum roll please

E cigarettes 

Full of hash oil

WTF I said!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes Mobly assured me

I was smoking one in Ohare Airpot in Chicago

And in the airport in Israel 

Hey he said 

If  Mossad can't catch you nobody can

Probably true......

So the WC bought one of these new fangled units

The power unit costs $20.00

It plugs into your computer to charge 

UBS port

Then you buy the unit with the THC in it

Very pure hash oil I am told

Mobly tells me you get 500 hits per unit

No matches

It looks just like a pen

Keep it in you pocket

No lighter needed 

Mobly told me it takes four or five puffs to get him high

The poor old WC took one and was very happy

Advise here

Never use Mobly as a test subject

Seriously here

Pot infused E cigs are the future

WOW

Don't know quite to make of this new deal

But I do know that for whatever reason

Pot medical products have been banned for years

My theory.....

I don't have a clue

Rock on Mick and Molly

The befuddled 

WC

Mobly? Really? Can't think of a better name for a Ganja Entrepreneur. 

And at the rate you are going "befuddled" may become a permanent adjective describing your countenance, WC.

St. Patrick's Day CounterProgramming.

Coming home early to Mistress last night was a lovely alternative to the annual gathering of stuffy white guys drinking too much. Sure there was a little wine with the dinner I whipped up for her, but not pints of Guinness and little glasses of Jamieson, neat. Plus I didn't have to worry about finding all the studs for my tux.

And Mistress was more than obliging.

She even made sure to keep her "peek-a-boo" tights on for some post work worship, followed by some long and leisurely love making in the her executive suite. And while I may have broken a long standing Collins family tradition of not drinking too much in honor of some dude who had a phobia for snakes.

There's nothing wrong with starting a new family tradition.

Leprechauns in Bondage

That got your attention didn't it? And what better way to celebrate a kinky St. Patrick's Day than some kinky characters steeped in Gaelic folk lore. Sadly, I must
leave such fiction to our friend 'Nilla. But then she might have the poor little fellas' imprisoned and impaled by a horny space alien with an alarming resemblance to  a giant squid. Of course, maybe the Leprechaun turns the tables:

Sadly, St. Patrick's Day got off to a slow start for this Ol' Irish Slave. Mistress had one of those ridiculous 8 am meetings to start her week, leaving wake-up sex on hold. Well, at least for me. But since it remains unseasonably chilly here in River City, she did slither into her peek-a-boo tights and make herself available for what she referred to as some quick but effective "drive by worship" before heading out the door in the pre-dawn hour. Hopefully my quick but potent "lick of the Irish" gave Mistress a little something to think about as she sat around the conference room table with all those boring guys this morning.

As for me: I have elected to forego the annual stag dinner for the friendly sons this year. No tuxedo. No open bar and "Buffet Erin". No tedious speeches and boring old guys to make small talk with while eating over cooked beef.  No Men's choir singing "Danny Boy". Instead I am hoping the "luck of the Irish" means I get lucky tonight.

If not, I might end up as testy as this guy:

Tights Hit the Post-Season

It's not exactly March Madness, but the cold snap that drove River City temperatures back into the teens, after a brief taunting from spring, had one upside: extending tights season here for just a few more days.

Ol' Mick has a bit of a tights fetish, as our most loyal readers have come to learn. So anything that adds a few days of twisted fun to my sometimes tedious work-a-day life can't be all that bad, can it?

Yesterday Mistress was dressing for work, after our satisfying wake-up sex, and seemed torn.

"It's 19 outside Slave? Can't decide - pants, or tights?"

Well she knew what my answer would be. And she even wriggled into my favorites: the peek-a-boo variety with the convenient, worship ready aperture.

The sad part is that I only got a brief sighting of her before we headed off in different directions: black skirt, ending above the knee, black tights, and black boots to finish the look. I'm sure she was turning more than a few heads through the course of her busy day. And a few texts she sent only primed my pump for some post work day worship.

Fortunately, she obliged her Slave, keeping those tights on for this photo op, some worship with my head parked at just the right strategic spot, and even slept in the tights, allowing me to sidle up to them through the night.

Very distracting!

I suspect I will get a little more fodder for my fetish when I rejoin her in bed, momentarily.