Our Western Correspondent Turns Consumer Reporter

 Slave was slaving away at work yesterday afternoon, wading through some especially tedious documents, when my text message bling went off.

It was our Western Correspondent, texting me images of some new products now available over the counter in his hometown, Here's one:

Apparently this is some sort of chewable marijuana confection, made to order for the guy who wants a quick buzz on his way to the grocery store, but doesn't want that tell tale smell in the family mini-van to annoy his wife or shock his kids.

There were also photos of the evil weed in it's more natural state. Miguel assured me that it "wasn't cheap, but it is killer bud!" (coma added by your editor).

I suppose it would have been rude of me to ask whether this "killer bud" was paid for via the UCTMW charge card. At least our readers deserve a more detailed analysis, WC! Let's hope for the WC's sake that Phillip Rivers and his crew stop by one of these little shops before game time against the WC's donkeys this weekend.

In the meantime, Mistress and Slave are back here in River City, noses to the grindstone. Plus, our senior cute Co-Ed remains in residence for the next few weeks. Since she sleeps in, it did not disturb our much needed wake up sex on Tuesday morning. And there was even a bit of a bonus for me.

When I got home, Mistress was a little annoyed at me.... I think it had something to do with her perception that I was a little too focused on work these last two days and did not "miss her enough", despite my protestations to the contrary.

"You need a spanking, Slave...."

"But Mistress.... with our lovely daughter here?  She would here the nasty smack and my howls of pain!" (yeah I was laying it on a little thick.)

"You're probably right .... but she can't be here all the time....."

So I guess Slave has something to look forward to if the cute Co-Ed ever decides to venture out into the cold this week on her own.

An Inhospitable Homecoming.

So Mistress and her drive-like-a- madman Slave did our 23 hour drive back to River City over a day and one half, only to discover rather unwelcoming circumstances greeting us here in River City.

First, Slave mistakenly used our early arrival home to  waste an afternoon watching our local pussycats go through their typical post-season meltdown against the Bolts. So much for home field advantage. Next year I'll be rooting for a post season away game, so that I can turn the TV off without having to drive to and fro and pay $8.50 for a beer.

In this instance, it would have been nice if the home team had let us know in advance they had no plans of actually showing up in the 2nd half. That would have spared all of us the rain soaking we endured. And I could have gotten a head start on re-reading the Book of Job, which has special meaning to Pussycat fans.

Then, after River City's post season hopes were washed away, the Arctic Vortex took it's turn to kick our asses further. It was about 0 degrees this am when Mistress had to go to that early Monday morning meeting. So not only were we denied our wake-up sex consolation prize, but we had to endure deep freeze conditions heading off to work, still on our Mountain Time shift daze.

It made us wish we had decided that "car trouble" prevented us from leaving our SW hideaway for a few more weeks, where the sun remains out and the ski slopes are much less crowded now that the holidays are over.

And why couldn't that cold front have slid into town 12 hours earlier? Instead the lads from San Diego had relatively balmy weather to avenge their freezer bowl loss to the Pussycats back in the 1980's.

I guess that leaves the sex blog NFL playoff wagering field clear for the possible confrontation between Miguel's Donkeys and Suzanne's Patsies in two weeks time.

I'm hoping for a mile high blizzard for that one. I wonder if Giselle has a special cock cage for Glamour Boy Brady when temperatures dip below 10 of so?

Free at Last (For a While).

Slave finally dumped his lovely older daughter and son-in-law at the airport yesterday. It was nice to spend time with both of them, but it seemed like a very long visit, that denied Mistress her normal freedom to roam the house au natural, and for both of us to engage in the freedom we typically enjoy to take liberties with one another.

When I arrived home, Mistress was sitting in the blazing sun on our front "portal", doing some work, then greeted me in the driveway.

As you can imagine it did not take us long to shed our clothes, fall into one another's arms and take all those misplaced liberties. Use 'em or lose 'em!

Unfortunately our liberty will not last long. With bad weather hurtling our way, and about 1300 miles to cover back to River City, we may have to get our asses in gear a little more quickly than we had originally  planned. And there we will find one of out cute Co-Eds, who has one of those ridiculously long winter breaks that will extend until just about the end of the month.

What's with these colleges..... they seem to have more breaks and recesses than actual school days during the year. What are aging depraved parents supposed to do?

Happy New Year from Molly and mick

New Year's Eve was especially nice here as the days wind down on our SW holidays: skiing in the morning. lunch outside on the slopes in warming sunshine, and then a long nap to rest up for the celebration. We even got in some hot late afternoon sex, covered up by some music on the CD player in our bedroom as the newly wed couple took their own "nap". Let's hope they used it to the same good purpose as these old codgers did!

Mick had cunningly persuaded my daughter and her husband that this would be a "date night" for both couples: I handed over the car keys so they could dine out in town while we would walk down the street in the high desert darkness to enjoy our own solo dinner at a local eatery.

Better yet, they left about 90 minutes before our reservation, finally giving Molly free range of the house in something much less than her modest shin length robe.  I caught her inspecting our little Christmas tree in some of the new undies I gifted her for the holidays.

Ahhh. Free at last.

After dinner we found the youngsters back at the cabin, watching an old movie. They turned down our offer to take them out for a little New Year's eve rock and roll. But that did not suppress us old farts! We even made it as late as New Year's in Chicago! But we kept one tradition alive: by midnight mountain time you could find us safely cuddled up together in our bed. The best way to kick off a new yeat!

Hope all of our readers enjoyed their holidays too, and best wishes for a safe, sane and sexy 2014!