Cage Malfunction

A cold front that followed that Biblical rain that squelched Glamor Boy's aspirations for a fourth quarter comeback on Sunday put Slave into some dangerous territory yesterday morning.

Mistress had asked me to wear the cage on Monday, but we had an early wake up call, and I was a little groggy when I went down to make the coffee. I forgot to bring my little steel ring - the base of my cock cage- for all that early morning squishing and cramming required to get my balls and dick through the aperture.

On cold mornings, it's necessary to do this important preparatory work when things are still all loosy goosy down there, because a little cold weather triggers some sort of natural defense mechanism, making that fleshy sack that contains the "family jewels" shrivel and contract.... nature wanted to keep them warm apparently. And once that contraction occurs.... well the squishing and smushing into that ring becomes impossible. There's very little to gran onto, push and pop into the ring

So that was the problem Monday.... Slave forgot and by the time he remembered, nature had done it's work and it was too late.

Mistress did not take it too badly.... "OK SLave.... tomorrow then....."

Tuesday morning I remembered my task, got the ring mounted properly first thing while the coffee was brewing. I was prepared to treat Mistress to one of those particular firm cock's contained by my ring. But the trip to the driveway to get the morning paper must have been my undoing. When I arrived upstairs for some hot wake-up sex I discovered that one recalcitrant ball had figured a way to retreat back through the tight ring.... apparently it was offended by the cold weather and took shelter.

And believe me, you don't want to try to have sex with one ball in and the other cramped somewhere nasty .

I described my plight to Mistress.....

"Hmmm..... OK, Slave.  We don't want you to hurt yourself....."

So I took the ring off and tried to please Mistress as best I could.

Last night Mistress made it clear that today was definitely a cage day. The ring is already on tight. I may have to wait until after wake up sex, and the cover is securely in place before I go out and get the paper.

Three strikes, and my ass may be out.

Glamor Boy Skulks Back to the Coast

Slave returned home from today's game very wet, but gratified that my prediction of the inevitable outcome was finally confirmed. And while I expected the Pussycats to emerge victorious, I must say that even I did not expect that the Boy Wonder's 50 + game streak of TD passes would come to an end at the hands of the lowly Pussycats.

Of course, you have to give Suzanne credit. She too must have come to the conclusion that her Patriots' undefeated record would not survive a trip to River City. Otherwise she and her loyal subjects would have taken my offer to join us here for the game, and post some intriguing stakes on the outcome.

You do have to admire Tom Brady though. He strides onto the field like an executive trying to convince skeptical analysts that his stock is a bargain, and struck a particularly  alluring figure in those pink accessories worn this week in honor of the Breast Cancer Awareness. But he looked particularly cute on his ass, after those four sacks and numerous other QB "pressures" he had to endure. And after all, he does get to go back to the babe who some speculate regularly deploys a strap-on to keep him in line.

On the drive home, Slave got a chance to listen to "Hoodie"s" so called press conference, that lasted all of two minutes, one for each field goal his offensive juggernaut was able to muster. He's a man of few words. It makes you feel for the guy.... after all these years he should be spared the cruel indignity of having to play games on the road, and/or in the rain!

Fortunately, Mistress was here when I got home. After peeling off my sodden jeans, and confirming that my I-phone had not shorted out, we adjourned to the bed for some R & R. She seemed to enjoy my enthusiastic  worship, almost as much as she did her run-in with her favorite power tool this morning, Those pre-game rituals can't be ignored, and certainly paid off for our Tigers.

My only regret was that Suzanne, Jay and Tammy weren't here to "enjoy" the game, and pay-off on the bet they dodged.

Who knows, maybe we'll meet here again in the play-offs,  and they will run out of alibis.

Glamor Boy Comes to Town

Slave hightailed it back from our flat state capitol Friday afternoon. There was a certain pent up urgency when Mistress and Slave finally had a chance to break that long 48 hour patch of denial caused by my absence for that tedious seminar.

And we kept up the pace Saturday morning, and then again late Saturday afternoon, after Mistress took a long bike ride with her former fuck buddy, Jay.

Last night we were out with some friends, including the former colleague who will be joining me for this afternoon's big game between the Pats and our local Pussycats. While I had attempted to tempt Suzanne, Jay and Tammy to join is here for the game, their series of lame alibis suggested that they had little confidence that their undefeated team could handle to pressure of a road trip to River City.

And they may also have dodged some bad weather: it's been raining buckets here since last night, and one forecast suggests the possibility of hail and lightning at game time. I'm wondering if the NFL's confounding security policies will allow me to wear my grandfather's steel WWI helmet to ward off hailstones - it may not be transparent, but if it's on my head as opposed to in a back pack, do you think I can get through security?

Bad weather actually could be good for the Pussycats. The Pats are one of those "finesse" teams with their high fashion offense and pretty boy QB. I suppose it's no wonder that Suzanne is smitten by him, when you consider what he wears under that red white and blue jersey:

But lightening, rain and hail might tend to disrupt the finely tuned rhythm between glamor boy and his new "receivers", particularly with his favorite tight end locked up and awaiting trial, and another of his favorite receivers now doing his smurf routine for our Western Correspondent's Donkeys out west. We just hope Suzanne and her lads enjoyed yesterday's victory by the Red Sox, since this afternoon may not be quite as rewarding. By the end of the game, they may all want to share Jay's pain relievers. Or just dull the pain with some exotic sex.

Now it's time for Slave to go upstairs and tend to Mistress's pre-game requirements. We all have quiky rituals we need to deploy for good karma, and I think you have an idea what that involves here at the UCTMW World HQ. It will certainly include a "good luck" power tool.

Essential Personnel?

Sin and some of our other readers who are "foreigners" may be a little curious about what the fuck is going on here in the good old USA.

Well of course there are two sides of most stories, and the "main stream media" likes to pretend that each side is equally valid, even when one side may be full of excrement. But here at UCTMW we are free to eschew many of the boring rules that bind "journalists", so  I am free to sum it all up in a less varnished form.... stay with me here....

1. Back in 2010 or so, Congress passed and the President signed a law that was supposed to allow most Americans to get "affordable" health care.... like most of you folks in the developed world long have had. It's a rube goldberg type contraption, which was required to buy off the big health insurers, medical and hospital lobbyists, drug and medical device makers who can lead most of our members of Congress around by the nose. Nevertheless, the members of the Republican party in our Congress unanimously opposed this contraption as a bound to fail "big gubmint" experiment that was a threat to our freedoms. In their view health care is not a right, but a product. You get what you can pay for, and no more!

2. Republicans took over one house of our Congress in 2010, led by a "Tea Party" faction (named after those Bostonians who tossed British Tea into the drink back in the 1700's because they thought the tea taxes were too high). Tea Partiers have a problem with a whole bunch of folks who did not look like "Real Americans" who they believed were "taking over" their country. Many of these folks believed the President is not a "real American", question his birth certificate, yada yada. Repealing "Obamacare" became their rallying cry.

3. In 2012, the voters did not buy this particular product, re-electing the President, and rejecting the guy who said he would repeal Obamacare. (The same guy who had "invented" Obamacare in Massachusetts, but that's a whole different story).

4. Now, a year later, ignoring those election results, the Republicans in the House of Representatives say they won't authorize spending another dime of federal money - as is their right - until the President and the other chamber of Congress agree to pull the plug on that evil health care program they call Obamacare.  Well.... not exactly another dime.... "essential" personnel still get paid. And of course the Members of Congress and their loyal staffers are "essential". (at least they are sticking to that story). So is the President and some of his senior staffers.... and about 1/2 of the federal work force.

How they decide who's essential? Who the hell knows. About 800,000 federal workers have been laid off.... millions more are still showing up for work, but have no idea when they will be paid. Soldiers are getting paid. But not the guys who protect Congress or the President. Or Park Rangers.

National Parks are closed. Little kids are getting turned away from their pre-school classes. Or their cancer treatment at the National Institutes for Health.

Naturally there are lots of fingers being pointed in every direction. The House won't vote simply to pay for the government, even though all of us saps are still paying our taxes, unless it's tied to canceling health insurance for millions of people who don't have it now.  The President and the Senate won't go for the Obamacare poison pill. So there is a stalemate, with both sides digging in their heals.

Who knows when this will end. Or if in 2 weeks Congress will let America default on it's debt, letting all those countries and banks and investors who buy our "gold plated" bonds twisting in the winds.

Crazy, right? It's making the good old USA look like a banana republic. Or Italy. But with worse food and shorter lunch breaks
.

It's also making this old Slave wonder whether I'm essential. And if not, how do I make sure I am. Unfortunately, I've been out of town these last two days, at a really boring seminar. Poor Mistress is home alone, working like crazy. Working so hard in fact that she's had very little time or interest in finding a supplemental cock to entertain her, particularly on days (or nights) like this when Slave is inaccessible and not available to properly serve her needs.

One thing is certain: no one will ever consider you "essential" if you aren't there to regularly and persistently demonstrate those qualities that are so compelling and irreplaceable that your employer (or Mistress) can't even imagine going a day without you!

Slave better get his ass back to River City pronto, before Mistress shuts ME down.