Mistress's Double Header Date Night

It has to be tough on Mistress in a way: juggling two men, particularly on the weekends.  Both of us enjoy spending time with her, and she enjoys both of our attentions. ANd there is exercise to fit in too.

So last night seemed a little conflicting for her.

She and her Slave went to a social dinner for a Board she is on -- I tagged along as the dutiful spouse. It was fine dining and fine wine to go along with it. As well as charming, if a little stuffy, company at our table.

So we had to suppress a giggle when the salads were served.  What is the first thought that coes to your mind when you see this artful display of greens and beets:

When I whipped out my I-phone to snap a picture, one  of the guests asked if we have a food blog.  Mistress demurred.... "well there is a blog, but not about food....."  Through the dinner, an older gentlemen with a beard and a knowing way about him seemed to be flirting with Mistress. definitely hanging on her every word, and deploying his worldly charm. She noticed it too.

"He's probably as old as my Mother, Slave...."

"But not too old not to know a hot woman when he sees one, Mistress."

As dinner developed slowly, I noticed Mistress checking her watch.

"Anxious for your second date of the evening, Mistress?",  I whispered into her lovely ear.

"No, Slave .... we have plenty of time."

The plan was for me to drop her off at J's house.... she had left her car and bicycle there the night before. And as we drove there just as the sun was setting, Mistress seemed a little conflicted.

"It feels kind of strange... it's a Friday night and I should probably be going home with my Slave..."

I tried to reassure. 

"It's not that I wouldn't like you home tonight, Mistress.  But I have no complaints. You should do what you want to do.... do you want to spend the night at J's or not?"

"Well.... Sure I do.... I've got the best of both worlds.... happily married and dating... sort of...."

"Then enjoy...."

I dropped her off, after a lingering kiss goodbye in J's driveway.... I wasn't going to invite myself in.  I figure three's a crowd on a Friday night.  And I had already had my date.

Mistress was going to enjoy a "double header", sort of like Suzanne did last night over at All Mine .  But without Big Blackie.

She did call me later to say good night. This morning she and J are going for one of those long bike rides. Slave may do one too - but definitely shorter. And after I take my cute grandsons swimming, we will be back together her for an early afternoon "matinee", before heading out to the baseball game and a concert.

Hope our readers have every bit as much fun the first official weekend of summer.

Who's Abstaining Now?

Mistress and Slave recently met for lunch down by our River - she likes this designer frozen yogurt place with all the toppings and a scale to calculate your outrageous tab- and we sat by a new fountain that got Mistress's mind going in a smutty direction.

"Hmmmm....very phallic,  Slave.... I like the image of all those spurting cocks."

"Spurting on your command, Mistress?"

"Exactly."

And while she sometimes claims she's not much of a Domme, I think she does get off on exercising her "powers" over her two men.

It seems she still gets off on the thought of her Slave in his cage, particularly on those days when she is stepping out with J.  It's not just a security thing, is it? It may have something to do with knowing that I will do that for her, and she can tease me about it through the day with her phone calls or text messages.  I hope that every now and then she has an image of me in that cage as she's playing with her other cock du jour.

And I am beginning to think she's enjoying tormenting J just a little too.

Keep in mind that J did not find Mistress through any kinkster route. Although he's read the blog from time to time, he seems to avoid it. I suspect he thinks we are a little crazy, expressing to Mistress that he can't figure why "her Slave" would ever share her with anyone else. Of course, we all have different wiring, don't we?

But he reportedly got off on the idea of Mistress riding his cock while he was tied to his bed that time.

Somehow I doubt that either he or Mistress would want to go for the cock cage routine in their relationship, that Suzanne suggested in her comments yesterday.  But it does seem that Mistress enjoys imposing a little denial on him, just because she can.

The other night she refused to take off her dress, or give him access to the nipples he so admires.

"I think he was a little frustrated by that, Slave."

Yesterday, both of us had pretty nasty work days. The type that  had us thinking "why the fuck do we keep doing this...."  Mistress had planned to come home after a meeting, but then let me know that she needed some serious exercise to exorcise those work demons. She was heading to J's house, where her bike was,  for a long ride.

"Go for it, Mistress...."

Ultimately she got home at around 10:30 pm. No problem from my point of view. I used the evening to do some exorcising of my own: reading the paper, watching the news and drinking some wine.

But I was curious about how things had gone.

"No sex Slave..... I think he wanted to make time for some, but I made it clear I was there to ride bikes .... otherwise I was heading home."

"And how did he take that, Mistress?"

"He accepted my verdict, Slave...."

She said that with a cruel little Dommish smile.

As far as I can tell, Mistress has yet to regulate J's extra-curricular cums, but maybe that's where we are heading.  I have a feeling he will be particularly anxious to see her when I drop her off there tonight for a sleep over, after a civic dinner we will be attending.

Guess I had better get my "action" in this morning, while I have the chance.

Abstinence is Overrated

Slave has been catching a little abuse in the comments section lately whenever I mutter a little about the denial.... really "deferral" is a better word.... of orgasm privileges.

It does happen every now and then... most recently, Mistress had her date with J on Tuesday evening. It was not clear whether she'd be home that night or spend the night. Issues of wardrobe and accessories for the next business day come into play for decisions like that, and also whether they can get a "good night's sleep".

Regardless, my instructions were clear: I could take off the cock cage to go for a bike ride, but the "no touch" rule would be in effect. 

Not a problem.  I mean, even the WC could cool his jets for 24 hours or so , right? (Well maybe that's a bad example).

As it turned out, Mistress decided to come home, and arrived at around 11 pm, a little tired, but certainly still standing.

Now Slave could have begged and wheedled for sex privileges, and my guess is she would have relented.  But I knew it would be best to wait until morning, despite some herky jerky cock action when she described some of the sexual limits she had placed on J that evening.

I was rewarded yesterday morning with some lovely wake-up sex, that put me in a nice compliant mood for the rest of the day.

Last night, I made sure to worship Mistress when we got home from work. Then we were off on a bike ride to our local pool where she swam laps for about 30 minutes as Slave read the Times. Back at home there was dinner to prepare, and by the time I cleaned up it was after 9 pm. 

WE were both tired, and though Mistress got some good night tongue action, it was clear that Slave would be waiting until morning for his "reward".  And by now.... well let's just say I am anxious to put this edition to bed, and looking at the clock for the appointed time .... 7 am today.... when I am allowed to wake Mistress for morning sex.

Of course, sometimes I get "two a days".  But once a day seems a fair and reasonable "diet" doesn't it.

Now I know some of you out there .... Harry, tammy come to mind.... have to wait much longer. And I suspect you enjoy the tease and denail part of your servitude. We used to have an "abstinence day" here at UCTMW, but Mistress, in her wisdom, seems to have let that pass by the wayside.

It may be her philosophy that her Slave is best kept obedient and docile by regular discharge of those natural juices, as George C. Scott's character in Dr. Strangelove called them.

But other then when I've had the flu, I can't recall being required to go more than 2 or 3 days without a nice cum.

Does that make Slave spoiled?

Our Southern Correspondent's Tutotial on D/s Communication Skills

 Slave was solo here at the UCTMW World HQ for most of the evening last night. I'd dutifully worn my cage to work, but was given dispensation to remove it once I got home and before a short bike ride to get a little exercise.

Mistress was headed over to J's "love shack" purportedly for a bike ride, but it was unclear whether she was planning a "sleep over". I felt a little sorry for J in fact, because I could tell Mistress was in a bit of a "demanding" mood. 

By the time I had whipped up some dinner, read the Times and wallowed in the political swamp on MSNBC I was getting a little sleepy, but just as I was nodding off my phone rang... it was Mistress, reporting that she'd be home before 11 pm.

Of course, I was grateful to have her company, though I knew I'd be waiting until this morning the break my "horrible" 24 hours of sexual denial.  

I asked for a little update in her evening and she gave me the quick summary.

"No bike ride, Slave.... we went out to dinner instead.... then I let him have a little fun when we got back to his house."

"Well that was nice of you...."

"I was kind of a bitch though.... I wouldn't take off my clothes.... just pulled up my dress and rode his cock....."

For some unknown reason that' the sort of comment that gets Slave..... shall we say it.... aroused.

But I kept my cool.... curious about how this unraveled. 

"Getting a little Dommey with him.... and how did he react to that....."

"I actually think he liked it Slave..... and to tell the truth, I thought it was kind of hot too....."

No doubt.

I may have to ask a little more about this shortly.  Fortunately, we do have this helpful guide from our Senior Correspondent to provide the meat of today's edition:

 

Do you remember the book Men Are from Mars, Women from Venus by John Gray? It was basically about communication differences between men and women and how one sex doesn’t know WTF their partner means without an instruction manual. Someone could write a similar book describing communication between Dominants and submissives. 

Let me give you a couple of non-BDSM communications gaps between Bill and me. 

When we’re traveling and I say, “Honey, I’ll need for you to stop at the next Rest Stop,” I mean pressure is increasing and my bladder is very quickly heading toward full. I need a toilet within 15 minutes. What Bill understands from what I said is that I will need a potty break sometimes before sunset but, if necessary, can wait until sometime tomorrow. 

When I say in a strained voice, “Bill, what would you think about stopping to ask for directions since we’ve been circling this block like buzzards over a dead cow for several hours now,” his understanding is that I am having a wonderful time, have total faith in his navigational skills, and would like beef for dinner.

With BDSM, understanding clearly what the other person says, and what they mean by what they say, is vital. In addition to the differences between males and females, there are differences between the language and motivations of Dominants and submissives, especially in a club situation when they don't know one another.

Let’s look at a potential BDSM dungeon situation. A sub might say to a new Dom, “Sir, please, please may I suck your cock?” The sub is thinking of licking, sucking, applying rhythmic pressure to the spongy head of the Dom’s penis with his/her tongue, to be accompanied by firm but carefully controlled thrusts from the Dom until he spills his seed into the waiting condom. (That sub reads books primarily from the romance section of the library, in case you couldn’t tell.) What the Dom understands is that this sub really, really wants his/her head squeezed between his hands in a vise-like grip with his cock thrusting all the way down that throat at ramming speed until he cums like Old Faithful at Yellowstone! (That particular Dom reads Guns and Guts magazine while sitting on the toilet, in case you couldn’t tell.)

At another station a Dom might say to a sub, “You said you have experience being tied. I want to be sure before we begin that you are completely comfortable with this. Do you have any questions?” The sub thinks this Dom is really hot looking and even though she doesn’t have any actually experience with Shibari, or any rope work at all, she figures she wears lace up shoes to the gym twice a week, a girdle to work every day, has laces on her bustier, and has seen pictures on the web. How difficult could it be? And she says, “No Sir, I don’t have any questions.” 

Even BDSM couples who have been together for a very long time can get their wires crossed with communication. Not so long ago, I was on my back on the bed, head over the edge with Bill’s cock in my mouth. I was running my lips and tongue up and down his penis when I decided to switch things up a bit and let my teeth lightly scrap up and down his cock. I looked up at him, his eyes were wide, he was so thrilled he was almost trembling, and he was making a primitive noise I hadn't heard from him before. I put all those non-verbal clues together to mean, “Wow, this is fabulous, Donna, give me more of that rub with your pearly whites!” What he really meant was, “Damn, damn, damn, WTF is she doing? I don’t want to startle her while her teeth are on my cock but she needs to stop!” As soon as he was able to speak he got through to me in very short order that he didn't like that. He was sore for a day or so and it was weeks before he let me have his cock in my mouth again. And now there is never a time when his cock goes into my mouth that he doesn’t tap my cheek and say, “NO teeth, Donna! Is that clear?”

I know that’s a very, very sad story, but I hope it makes the point that really strong communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal, are an important thing to work on with your BDSM partner. 

Hugs,

Donna

Thanks Donna..... on this same theme.... communicating one's D/s expectations, I saw a reference to this article in Salon on some 29 year old BDSM wannabe's attendance at a "Fifty Shades of Grey" party pop up in my office email yesterday. While the author mocks the adventures of Anastasia in the all too popular book, it seemed to be that she had some of the same maturity issues, if only in reverse. What do you think?