Abstinence is Overrated

Slave has been catching a little abuse in the comments section lately whenever I mutter a little about the denial.... really "deferral" is a better word.... of orgasm privileges.

It does happen every now and then... most recently, Mistress had her date with J on Tuesday evening. It was not clear whether she'd be home that night or spend the night. Issues of wardrobe and accessories for the next business day come into play for decisions like that, and also whether they can get a "good night's sleep".

Regardless, my instructions were clear: I could take off the cock cage to go for a bike ride, but the "no touch" rule would be in effect. 

Not a problem.  I mean, even the WC could cool his jets for 24 hours or so , right? (Well maybe that's a bad example).

As it turned out, Mistress decided to come home, and arrived at around 11 pm, a little tired, but certainly still standing.

Now Slave could have begged and wheedled for sex privileges, and my guess is she would have relented.  But I knew it would be best to wait until morning, despite some herky jerky cock action when she described some of the sexual limits she had placed on J that evening.

I was rewarded yesterday morning with some lovely wake-up sex, that put me in a nice compliant mood for the rest of the day.

Last night, I made sure to worship Mistress when we got home from work. Then we were off on a bike ride to our local pool where she swam laps for about 30 minutes as Slave read the Times. Back at home there was dinner to prepare, and by the time I cleaned up it was after 9 pm. 

WE were both tired, and though Mistress got some good night tongue action, it was clear that Slave would be waiting until morning for his "reward".  And by now.... well let's just say I am anxious to put this edition to bed, and looking at the clock for the appointed time .... 7 am today.... when I am allowed to wake Mistress for morning sex.

Of course, sometimes I get "two a days".  But once a day seems a fair and reasonable "diet" doesn't it.

Now I know some of you out there .... Harry, tammy come to mind.... have to wait much longer. And I suspect you enjoy the tease and denail part of your servitude. We used to have an "abstinence day" here at UCTMW, but Mistress, in her wisdom, seems to have let that pass by the wayside.

It may be her philosophy that her Slave is best kept obedient and docile by regular discharge of those natural juices, as George C. Scott's character in Dr. Strangelove called them.

But other then when I've had the flu, I can't recall being required to go more than 2 or 3 days without a nice cum.

Does that make Slave spoiled?

Our Southern Correspondent's Tutotial on D/s Communication Skills

 Slave was solo here at the UCTMW World HQ for most of the evening last night. I'd dutifully worn my cage to work, but was given dispensation to remove it once I got home and before a short bike ride to get a little exercise.

Mistress was headed over to J's "love shack" purportedly for a bike ride, but it was unclear whether she was planning a "sleep over". I felt a little sorry for J in fact, because I could tell Mistress was in a bit of a "demanding" mood. 

By the time I had whipped up some dinner, read the Times and wallowed in the political swamp on MSNBC I was getting a little sleepy, but just as I was nodding off my phone rang... it was Mistress, reporting that she'd be home before 11 pm.

Of course, I was grateful to have her company, though I knew I'd be waiting until this morning the break my "horrible" 24 hours of sexual denial.  

I asked for a little update in her evening and she gave me the quick summary.

"No bike ride, Slave.... we went out to dinner instead.... then I let him have a little fun when we got back to his house."

"Well that was nice of you...."

"I was kind of a bitch though.... I wouldn't take off my clothes.... just pulled up my dress and rode his cock....."

For some unknown reason that' the sort of comment that gets Slave..... shall we say it.... aroused.

But I kept my cool.... curious about how this unraveled. 

"Getting a little Dommey with him.... and how did he react to that....."

"I actually think he liked it Slave..... and to tell the truth, I thought it was kind of hot too....."

No doubt.

I may have to ask a little more about this shortly.  Fortunately, we do have this helpful guide from our Senior Correspondent to provide the meat of today's edition:

 

Do you remember the book Men Are from Mars, Women from Venus by John Gray? It was basically about communication differences between men and women and how one sex doesn’t know WTF their partner means without an instruction manual. Someone could write a similar book describing communication between Dominants and submissives. 

Let me give you a couple of non-BDSM communications gaps between Bill and me. 

When we’re traveling and I say, “Honey, I’ll need for you to stop at the next Rest Stop,” I mean pressure is increasing and my bladder is very quickly heading toward full. I need a toilet within 15 minutes. What Bill understands from what I said is that I will need a potty break sometimes before sunset but, if necessary, can wait until sometime tomorrow. 

When I say in a strained voice, “Bill, what would you think about stopping to ask for directions since we’ve been circling this block like buzzards over a dead cow for several hours now,” his understanding is that I am having a wonderful time, have total faith in his navigational skills, and would like beef for dinner.

With BDSM, understanding clearly what the other person says, and what they mean by what they say, is vital. In addition to the differences between males and females, there are differences between the language and motivations of Dominants and submissives, especially in a club situation when they don't know one another.

Let’s look at a potential BDSM dungeon situation. A sub might say to a new Dom, “Sir, please, please may I suck your cock?” The sub is thinking of licking, sucking, applying rhythmic pressure to the spongy head of the Dom’s penis with his/her tongue, to be accompanied by firm but carefully controlled thrusts from the Dom until he spills his seed into the waiting condom. (That sub reads books primarily from the romance section of the library, in case you couldn’t tell.) What the Dom understands is that this sub really, really wants his/her head squeezed between his hands in a vise-like grip with his cock thrusting all the way down that throat at ramming speed until he cums like Old Faithful at Yellowstone! (That particular Dom reads Guns and Guts magazine while sitting on the toilet, in case you couldn’t tell.)

At another station a Dom might say to a sub, “You said you have experience being tied. I want to be sure before we begin that you are completely comfortable with this. Do you have any questions?” The sub thinks this Dom is really hot looking and even though she doesn’t have any actually experience with Shibari, or any rope work at all, she figures she wears lace up shoes to the gym twice a week, a girdle to work every day, has laces on her bustier, and has seen pictures on the web. How difficult could it be? And she says, “No Sir, I don’t have any questions.” 

Even BDSM couples who have been together for a very long time can get their wires crossed with communication. Not so long ago, I was on my back on the bed, head over the edge with Bill’s cock in my mouth. I was running my lips and tongue up and down his penis when I decided to switch things up a bit and let my teeth lightly scrap up and down his cock. I looked up at him, his eyes were wide, he was so thrilled he was almost trembling, and he was making a primitive noise I hadn't heard from him before. I put all those non-verbal clues together to mean, “Wow, this is fabulous, Donna, give me more of that rub with your pearly whites!” What he really meant was, “Damn, damn, damn, WTF is she doing? I don’t want to startle her while her teeth are on my cock but she needs to stop!” As soon as he was able to speak he got through to me in very short order that he didn't like that. He was sore for a day or so and it was weeks before he let me have his cock in my mouth again. And now there is never a time when his cock goes into my mouth that he doesn’t tap my cheek and say, “NO teeth, Donna! Is that clear?”

I know that’s a very, very sad story, but I hope it makes the point that really strong communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal, are an important thing to work on with your BDSM partner. 

Hugs,

Donna

Thanks Donna..... on this same theme.... communicating one's D/s expectations, I saw a reference to this article in Salon on some 29 year old BDSM wannabe's attendance at a "Fifty Shades of Grey" party pop up in my office email yesterday. While the author mocks the adventures of Anastasia in the all too popular book, it seemed to be that she had some of the same maturity issues, if only in reverse. What do you think?

Mistress Likes to Ride

First, pardon our absence here yesterday. I know many of you were probably left a tad .... unsettled  yesterday without your daily dose of UCTMW. Both Mistress and Slave had way to early start times yesterday, and needed all the sleep we could muster after a very active Father's Day here in River City. Sometimes real life has to take a back seat to our vast media empire, and yesterday was one of those days. Hopefully you were able to catch Suzanne's account of her well deserved spanking over at All Mine . That should have more than filled your need for vicarious sexual adventuring!

My report today is on the manner in which Mistress manages her growing "stable" of male service providers, as evidenced by our conversation on the bike trail Sunday morning. You may recall Mitt Romney's comment about how much pleasure he takes in firing service providers he is not happy with..... well, in this case, Mistress made it clear that she also has some limits.

She's been ramping up her mileage on her bike in recent weeks. With warm weather she has been enjoying time over at J's house, with easy access to a long bike trail along a river. Sunday morning, after some wake up sex here at the UCTMW World HQ, both of us headed over to J's love shack for what turned out to be a 2 hour, 24 mile trek in humid weather that had Slave more than fully exercised by the time we were done.

Of course, this came a day after Mistress worked both J and I through our sexual paces on Saturday morning.

As J and I trailed Mistress up a hill on our route, and we both admired her firm ass and muscular legs, I commented on the ulterior motive involved.

"J, I think she's trying to build up our endurance ...."

"Could be Mick... she does have quite an apetite, doesn't she...."

You could say that.

But somewhere along the trail, after about 15 miles she did have a bit of a complaint to share with both of us.

"Hmmmm..... my 'parts' are starting to feel it on this saddle.... the riding, plus the sex are taking its toll...."

"Well, Mistress, you could take a week off from riding....."

"What... give up exercise?  No way. Maybe I should just give up  sex with you two for a week so I have a little recuperation time ...."

Both of us did a double take.

Huh....Mistress give up sex for a week?

"That doesn't sound like a good idea....", J and I said almost simultaneously.

Fortunately, her resolve did not last past last evening, here at home, after an hellacious day. And tonight she'll be heading over to J's love shack for what could be a double "rider": on her bike and later, in the sack with her lover.

Oops. I forgot to ask last night if she wants her Slave in the cage today.  I guess I'd better check before thw wake up sex.

An Over Serviced Mistress

Mistress and I got back to the UCTMW World HQ at around 2:30 pm yesterday afternoon, and I could tell she was ..... well, ready for some rest.

While I had been out galavanting with my cute grandson, she had been engaged in some extended play with J over at his "love shack".

Of course, she and I had our own wake-up sex here Saturday morning. Then she had some hair maintenance done. She called me at around 10 am as I was collecting the grandson for our adventures.

"Hi Slave.... I'm headed over to J's now...."

"Have fun, Mistress", I muttered into the phone, out of ear shot of my son in law who was applying sun screen to the squirming 3 year old.

"I suspect I will, Slave...."

And she seemed to have had fun, by the looks of her, as she slid out  of her sun dress, clearly ready for a nap.

"How did it go, Mistress?"

"Had a lot of sex Slave.... I'm pretty exhausted....."

I didn't even want to attempt an orgasm count for the poor dear.

So we settled into bed. She was soon out like a light. Slave had some work to do, so I sat next to her, paging through documents.

Later, when she woke we took a nice bike ride, and settled in for an evening at home, watching an old movie with Warren Beatty and Diane Keaton.  Mistress was on the couch next to me, as the photo shows, barely dressed on something comfy.

But it was clear that her "parts" had been more than adequately serviced by the her Slave and her Lover for the day.

Sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone.





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