Last week CNN posted a story titled Cuckolding Can Be Positive for Some Couples, Study Finds. No doubt some heads exploded, maybe even in the White House.
The article was triggered by a study that focused on cuckolding again gay men, but includes what amounts to a green light for those of us enticed by the fantasy of our spouse in the arms of another. In fact, the article, suggests that "acting on adulterous fantasies may strengthen a relationship, as counterintuitive as it may sound."
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· Here are some highlights from this "breaking news" reporting from the President's least favorite "news" outlet:
(CNN)In our current political
climate, the term "cuck" -- short for "cuckservative" --
has become an insult of the so-called alt-right, aimed at men they view as
spineless and emasculated. The slur has its roots in the concept of cuckolding,
or having an adulterous partner.
But, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller
and the writer Dan Savage, acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness.
References to cuckolding appear in literature as early as the
13th century, usually in the form of male characters who fear that their child
has been sired by another man during an act of infidelity. Today, however,
cuckolding has become fetishized into a powerful sexual fantasy for some men,
who get aroused by the idea of their romantic partner engaging in sexual
activity with someone else. Women also share this fantasy, but less so than men.
"This fantasy has been around as long as marriage and
sexuality," said Ley, whose book "Insatiable Wives" addresses
cuckolding in heterosexual couples. "But we're hearing more and more about
it these days, and more people are rejecting the social stigma against this
fantasy."
Indeed, the numbers suggest that cuckolding, or at least
thinking about it, is more common than you might imagine. For his forthcoming
book, "Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can
Help Improve Your Sex Life," Lehmiller surveyed thousands of Americans and
found that 58% of men and about a third of women had fantasized about
cuckolding.
Of course this raises a question: if women are also fantasizing about cuckolding, is the fantasy about their male partner having sex with another woman; or about them having sex with another guy, with the knowledge of their husband? Now that's an issue for CNN to follow up on.
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The article also focuses on the root causes of the cuckold fantasy:
And the emotions surrounding seeing your partner with someone
else can add to the turn-on, explained Savage. "It's not cuckolding if
there isn't an element of humiliation, degradation or denial," he said.
"Our erotic imaginations have the ability to turn shame lemons into
delicious kink lemonade."
Of course, the article is not a total green light for married ladies to go in search of a lover to fulfill their husband's (or their own) cuckolding fantasies. It can be positive, but not for the faint of heart - or insecure:
As a sex therapist, one of the more intriguing findings from
this study involves the impact of cuckolding on relationships.
"Overall, our research found that for the most part,
cuckolding tends to be a positive fantasy and behavior," said Ley.
"It doesn't appear to be evidence of disturbance, of an unhealthy
relationship, or of disregard for one's partner." But there's an important
caveat, added Lehmiller. "We found several personality factors that
predict more positive experiences acting on cuckolding fantasies. For those who
have a lot of relationship anxiety or abandonment issues, who lack intimacy and
communication, and who aren't careful, detail-oriented planners, acting on a
consensual non-monogamy fantasy could very well be a negative experience,"
he said. "In other words, not everyone who has a cuckolding fantasy should
think about acting on it."
One has to wonder whether the cuckolding fantasy has taken root in the "residence" at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Could it be that Melania actually gets off on those stories about her husband paying off porn stars? Or, on the other hand, did Melania pass on that trip to Davos so she had some privacy to cavort with her tennis instructor at Mara Lago?
Maybe CNN can turn their investigative reporters loose on that story line.
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