Strap-on Saturday

Mistress and slave have gotten into a comfy routine here now that slave no longer goes to an office most "work" days.  While we are both serving some clients (her more than me), we have been able to carve out some afternoon "nap" time, which more often than not includes either some post-nap worship or a 2nd round of more conventional sex.  But yesterday, after she lunched with the Dowager Domme and I entertained my cute grandkids, there was a little more time for us to indulge....

Slave had gotten a "warning" earlier in the day.

"It's been a long time since you've gotten a good ass-fucking, slave...."

"So true, Mistress."

We woke from our late afternoon snooze at around 5 pm, and Mistress was feisty and ready for action.

"Time to get out my supplies, slave...."

I dutifully went on task.

Harness. check.

Simulated plastic cock. Check.

Lube.  Check.

Mistress gave me a pass on the usual preliminary.

"You've been so good lately slave, that I'm going to pass on the punishment."

So no ass warm up with her crop.

"Sounds good to me, Mistress".

So it was down to business. Mistress promptly slid into her harness, and mounted it's important accessory (not quite as big as the helpfully illustrative video might suggest).  A generous helping of lube assisted as she drove home, finding her target with her typical precision.

Mistress worked her magic on her slave, while pumping herself into a rather robust cum of her own. She generously allowed me to take my own pleasure on top as she caught her breath from her more alpha exertions. And I gratefully did.....


It was a nice prequel to a quiet evening at home.

Tonight will be a little busier. We are meeting a couple from out in the 'Burbs who found Mistress via her new OKCupid page.  They are into the "Open marriage" / Poly scene. He's clearly interested in getting to know Mistress a little more personally. I'm along for the ride, purely as a curious amateur social scientist, of course. I'm sure our readers will be interested to hear all of the details.... purely for sociological reasons, of course.

Sap? Or Sapio-Sexual?

It’s amazing how you can still teach an old slave new tricks.  Over the weekend I opened an OKCupid account for Mistress under the name “MollyCollins” (check it out if you are on that App). It was just an “experiment” right?  Since then I’ve been “curating” Mistress’s suitors, showing her the supplicants that might entertain or amuse or attract her. Deleting the rest. Interestingly, OK Cupid has a much wider array of (seemingly) eligible guys than AM, particularly under the category of “open marriage” types.

I’ve also been reminded of a few of Mistress’s quirks in the process ----

“What’s with all the beards, slave?”

Mistress definitely prefers the clean shaven look. Maybe it’s because beards or mustaches tickle “down there”?  Who knows? But it does seem an extraordinarily high percentage of guys who claim to be in open marriages also have facial hair.  What’s that about? 

She also has interesting thoughts on fashion selection. Like the guy who self-identifies as a “Dom”, but has a pic of himself in blue-ish plaid Bermuda shorts. 

‘What sort of Dom wears shorts like that, Slave?”

But what was particularly interesting was a new terms I first saw on several profiles: “Sapio-sexual”.  I had to look at the definition: 

sa·pi·o·sex·u·al

ˌsāpēōˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/

adjective

1. 1. 

(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I met a PhD student from Germany who told me that he was sapiosexual"

noun

1. 1. 

a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I'm a sapiosexual and I like to talk"

I guess I fall into this category… sort of. I am attracted to intelligent women, and Mistress is the best example of that. But then she also has some other attractive qualities too.

As for Mistress. Well she does have high standards when it comes to the brain power of potential suitors. 

“What is it about these guys who say they don’t read, slave…..? “

Being a fan of “The Big Bang Theory” doesn’t make you a rocket scientist. Or even someone who can carry on a post-coital conversation.

In the meantime, the sorting goes on.  Mistress has set up one “meet and great” with a gentlemen who lives nearby for next Thursday evening. We told him he could bring his “open marriage” wife. But he says she’s already used his date as an excuse to set up an evening out with her “boy toy”.

And Sunday evening we have a dinner engagement with an “open marriage” couple to compare notes and see if any sparks fly betwixt Mistress and the hubby.

At least it should be good blog-fodder for our readers.  Things have been a little dull on these pages lately!

Slave On the Shelf?

Slave has spent a lovely 3 day weekend with my daughter and her husband in the NYC region.  Lots of ethnic food, and today an all day outing to Brooklyn, It was "take your dad to work day", sort of. But while she went to work, I rode bikes through Prospect Park and explored some neighborhoods that were new to me.

In the meantime, poor Mistress, left to her own devices, has been spending time with the Dowager Domme and working.  There was also a night out on Monday evening with two lady friends.

The common denominator is that we've both been in the sexual wilderness, with not even some "finger fiddling" to tide us over. Maybe we can be retired as exhibits in the Museum I saw advertised in the subway?

Without an available side dish, poor Mistress is not getting the attention (and service) that she surely deserves.

But I let her know that there may be helming on the way.  Inspired by the NY Times article referenced in our last post, I opened a profile for her on OKCupid (under MollyCollins in case you want to check it out).  There have been quite a few supplicants, and her mailbox is filling up.  She may have to take the time to review what is available to her when I get home tomorrow night.  But I suspect we'll be having sex first.

At least I sure hope so!

Non-Monogamy?

Slave took the long drive to the east coast yesterday to visit one of my daughter's. Now that she and her husband have a house of their own, it was an opportunity to haul all of the crap in boxes filling up a corner of our attic that have her name on them. You know.... high school memorabilia, old posters, college books that somehow can't be thrown away. 

Poor Mistress is left at home to her own devices. And the worst part is that rather than canoodling with a lover, she's stuck entertaining her sister and the Dowager Domme for Mother's Day weekend. Now what fun is that?

In the absence of any active cuckolding to report on, let's discuss instead this week's big spread in the NY Times Magazine about open marriages. It's a long complicated story touching on some couples that have had varying degrees of success or failure. Sadly, there's no focus at all on the cuckold kink --these are marriages where both sides have permission, not just the wife.  But then, there is some psychobabble that opens the door just a little. The author explains that more oftern than not it’s the wife who wants to add some variety to her sex life:

Conventional wisdom has it that men are more likely than women to crave, even need, variety in their sex lives. But of the 25 couples I encountered, a majority of the relationships were opened at the initiation of the women; only in six cases had it been the men. Even when the decision was mutual, the woman was usually the more sexually active outside the marriage. A suburban married man on OkCupid told me he had yet to date anyone, in contrast to his wife, whom he called “an intimacy vampire.” There was a woman in Portland whose husband had lost interest in sex with anyone, not just her. A 36-year-old woman in Seattle said she opened her marriage after she heard about the concept from another young mom at her book club.

Perhaps the women in the couples I encountered were more willing to tell their stories because they did not fit into predictable unflattering stereotypes about the male sex drive. But it was nonetheless striking to hear so many wives risk so much on behalf of their sexual happiness.

It took decades for sex researchers to consider the possibility that women’s fabled low libido might be a symptom of monogamy. An entire scientific field, well chronicled by Daniel Bergner (a contributing writer for the magazine) in his book “What Women Want,” has evolved to try to understand the near-total diminishment of lust for their partners that so many women in long-term monogamous relationships feel. One 2002 study found that men and women in committed relationships shared equal desire at the onset of their relationships, although for women, that desire dropped precipitously between one and four years into the relationship; for men, the desire remained high throughout that period. In his book, Bergner cites research suggesting that women desire novelty as much as men. The recent attempts to formulate medication to address waning sexual interest has been predicated on the assumption that one possible response — indulging an interest in newer partners — would never be practical and could be destabilizing.

The women I met who initiated openness seemed to be defying some stereotypes about gender, but their interest was also consistent with more familiar ideas about women and intimacy: They seemed to be doubling down on building relationships in their lives.

Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage

So at least this research throws a little light on why in the cuckold world the ladies  want to add a little spice to what their less than compelling hubbies may be able to offer in the bedroom.   And towards the end of the ariticle there is some focus on a couple where the wife’s male lover has moved into the house full time.  There’s no mention of the husband having any of his own outside fun.  I guess that is cuckolding without the label.

Maybe the author will circle back and focus on relationships like ours, where the marital door (and bed) only opens one way.

There is some mention of OK Cupid as an on-line dating portal where one has the option of listing as “non-monogamous”.  Have any of our readers had much luck there?