Our Western Correspondent Rises to the Occasion

Mistress and Slave are cruising across rural Kansas. We just stopped at a favorite little greasy spoon called "Moosette's" where the same grizzled bachelor farmers who were there last summer complaining about the draught were there this morning complaining about all the rain. At least they had Mistress in her short and sexy tie-dye dress to distract them from whining about their flooded fields for a while.

But the big news today is that our under-productive Western Correspondent has responded well to the ministrations of his SOC milking device and has forwarded this (un)timely dispatch:

Well. Mick has bought me a masturbation machine from China

China???

Et Tu Mick 

Should I gloss you the Walmart blogger?

Nevertheless I am grateful

I am thinking of franchising them to health clubs

Think those machines from the 60's that the ladies put the strap around their butts 

And got jiggled........   errrrr  Vibrated.....

How did those ladies get away with masturbating right in public????

And on TV......???

Course my dear friend Molly might be first use the.....

Lets have an orgasm while I exercise logic

Works for Me!!!!

You are a revolutionary  Molly!!!

Think how healthy the country would be!

Now for news from the legal Pot state

Prices are cumming down

Supplies are going up

Course I mean edibles

My favorite candy bar

The Full Melt strawberry bar has cum down from $20 to $15

All bars now have 100mg thc

Now the famous NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd came to Denver and got TOO high

She apparently didn't ask any of us hicks how much to take.....

Dumb ass.....

Good quality edibles are fantastic

But....

I know you are wondering 

What about sex on edibles????

You get a whole body rush.....

Which includes the genitals!!!

Need I say more....?????

It truly is a whole body high

Orgasms are defiantly enhanced 

Which 

Near as I can say is all good with little side effects

Except ...

You might find marginal movies very interesting late at night .............

Oh well 

All I can say is cum to the Mile High City and check it out

A friend of mine told me the all the hotels in Aspen will have the bellmen get you pot products and bring then to your room

Better than a pizza delivery man Mick!!!

Cuckolding and Pot????

Rock on Mick and Molly

Your hard working reporter

WC

SW Hideaway or Bust

Mistress and Slave are buzzing through the "Show Me" state now, headed west for two weeks of R & R at our SW hideaway. We have our mobile wi-fi humming and the back of the wagon stuffed with items that will help us un-stuff the UCTMW HQ and over stuff our hideaway.

You will be happy to learn that Mistress's sometimes lover Jay threw her a brief but "muy caliente" bon voyage party at his house yesterday am, before she had a lunch meeting with some German businessmen that coincided with the World Cup game.

As for the encounter with Jay, which came not long after our traditional "wake-up" sex, Mistress reported that it was "a quickie".

"But we must have felt a need to cram into our 45 minutes all of the things we usually do in 90 Slave....sucking, fucking from above, behind, and wherever...."

"Sounds like you used your time efficiently, Mistress...."

"We did, Slave ... and he said that my butt seemed even firmer than the last time....maybe it's the  swimming I've been doing?"

"Could be Mistress.... but you've always had a firm butt...."

Before we headed to bed, Mistress had a flirtatious conversation with Jay, where they rehashed some of the mornings activities. Sort of post-game analysis, but a little hotter than on ESPN.  When she slid into bed next to me, I was most anxious to worship her well exercised clean shaven folds.

"It's been a while Slave.... I doubt you can tell I was with Jay this morning...."

I came up for air briefly....

"Hmmm.... you still seem a little damp down here Mistress..... were you toying with your folds when chatting with Jay....?"

Mistress issued her standard denial.

Our Western Correspondent Gets an "Accomodation"

Our under-productive Western Correspondent has not been heard from much of late. Meaning that he is more under-productive than even his low standards have led us to expect. Could it be that the legalization of marijuana in his hometown has had a dramatic impact on his ability to put a sentence together, with or without punctuation?  Could be.

But our Senior Correspondent Donna and her husband Bill, Director of Security have another theory:

The WC may be suffering from a disability induced by a certain persistent and repetitive motion using his right hand.  A severe case of carpal tunnel syndrome may well have made it impossible for the poor lad to operate a key board without severe pain, thereby explaining  the absence of a dispatch from our Mountain time zone branch office for some time.

But have no fear, Miguel. Help is on the way. Donna and Bill have found some break through technology that will give your right hand a new lease on life, and also reduce those outrageous expense account charges for drums of high end lubricant that have helped reduce the UCTMW tax bill to "nil" (as the World Cup announcers like to put it).  Here is a description of the new device we've shipped your way:
 

A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention?

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.

According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable. Here’s to technology.

This link (sperm extractor) includes a video showing how the device "in action".  

We're  hoping that with a few weeks rest with the help of this new device, your carpal tunnel symptoms will recede and you'll be back to your typically barely productive self! And if this does not work, maybe Suzanne can come back from her extended leave of absence and have you fitted for a cock cage.

Medical "Consult"?

After a long and trying day, both Mistress and Slave were longing for a bike ride to shake out the cobwebs. But just as rush hour approached here in River City, the thunderstorms moved in. We loitered about the house for a while in our riding attire, hoping for a break in the downpour, and when it eased a bit we took that as a sign to climb on our bikes and hit the road.

As it turned out our timing could not have been much worse -- halfway through the ride the downpour accelerated. By the time we were home, after dodging thunderbolts, we were soaked and chilled.

Slave poured Mistress a Tequila. I grabbed some medicinal Jameson, and we slid into the double sized tub here in the new/old UCTMW world HQ to warm up. After a good soak, Slave did his best to add to Mistress pleasure by use of my lips and tongue.

At about this time, Mistress mentioned she had been to her internist today for a check-up in advance of a minor surgical procedure she has scheduled for later in July. "I've seen him the last few times, Slave. He's very handsome."

"Does he flirt, Mistress?"

"Hmmm.... a little, Slave.  And then there's the surgeon..... he's pretty handsome too."

"Maybe you should invite them both to a joint consult, Mistress..... it can't hurt to get your medical team together to compare notes."