Dispatch From the Flatlands

With the days winding down before the end of the school year and the re-infestation of our empty nest, it was a particularly bad time for my firm to call one of those bi-annual "retreats". Whatever your business, I suspect many of you have  been exposed to one of these dreary navel gazing sessions where multiple offices and generations come together to lip synch platitudes about improving customer services, better training for your staff, blah, blah, blah.

Even worse, since all of the activities clearly exclude spouses or significant others, I am ensconced in a pretty nice hotel room on our state's oh so flat state capitol, and Mistress is on her own in River City. Sadly, my screening efforts on AM have yet to provide her with a worthy consort to warm her bed, and worship her clean shaven folds in my absence.

I suspect I deserve to be punished.

While I was not required to wear my cage, I've followed her orders:

"No touching, Slave."

On the 2 hour drive up here yesterday afternoon, I did check in with Donna, our Senior Correspondent. I can report that she is proud that her son is graduating from Medical School in the coming weeks, and that she has plans to attend the ceremony in the Big Apple. So beware all of you NYC kinksters : there will be a randy lady rolling through town shortly. Be prepared.

She also let me know that she had a solicitation from a  South Carolinian "gentleman" via FetLife.
"He wants to spank me, Mick". Not only that but Bill recently gave her a "spanking skirt". I'm not sure what that it, but it's bound to be put to good use should Donna take up this generous offer. We're counting on more details Donna.

Last night I did join several of my colleagues at a local restaurant that Mistress and I have enjoyed over the years. In fact, sitting there enduring some tedious conversation over my roasted beets and Branzino I had a flash back to a more compelling evening there more than 20 years ago:

It was when Mistress and her Slave were still flying below the radar screen... we had to be discrete since we were married to other people at the time. But this was an out of town "business trip" for both of us, so we planned a romantic dinner at this same restaurant. Anyone who saw us might have asssumed we were just  two work colleagues, enjoying dinner on the town. Or maybe a lobbyist cajoling a public official over some pasta and wine.  

But under Mistress's sexy mid-thigh length dress, she was wearing one of those butterfly style vibrators, like this:

It was not the high tech kind now available, with wireless remotes.  So I had to sit next to her at a banquet style table. surreptitiously sliding the remote at the end of a wire into my pocket. Dirty older man that I was, I enjoyed tormenting my hot young lover with little or longer blasts of vibration, making her squirm at my whim. If I recall correctly, Mistress came at least once during that meal, but I can't remember whether it was during desert or the entree course.

I suppose that was a time when this Slave was playing the dominant partner.

How times have changed, Mistress.

Very much looking forward to getting home tomorrow.

Ashley Madison Follies

As a somewhat experienced user of Ashley Madison, Mistress is well attuned to the fact that the odds of finding the "right fit" are pretty minuscule. But the fun part is getting an under the rock look at the freak show that passes for this gauzy on-line meat market of horny guys and "gals" (yes some men use that term on their profile to refer to the women of their wet dreams).

As Mistress's corresponding secretary, it's my job to cull the riff from the raff, and see if any potential "sidedish" can come close to meeting Mistress's exacting standards. The process is (very little) hit, and (a whole lot of) miss.  Nevertheless, Mistress does have a lunch set up for next week with one prospect, more likely, in our opinion, to turn more into a potential business connection than a roll in the hay. And we will both have dinner next Wednesday with another prospect who seems to get the cuckold dynamic that Mistress and her loyal Slave enjoy.

But the rejects are really more interesting. Here are some examples:

Cheater Town. There is a ex-urban town near here --  lets call it "West Lionel" for these purposes -- that seems to have a disproportionate  number of guys on the make. It's one of those "new" communities that sprouted along side an interstate over the last 20 years, with every conceivable fast food restaurant franchise and big box retailer you can imagine. Lots of sprauling subdivisions and abutting strip centers, and vestigal hospitals that branched out from the mother ships where the suburbanites are afraid to go because they have to drive through "the ghetto" to get there. Would it surprise you to know that their Congressman is the Speaker of the House?

In any event it seems to be chock full of "attached males" ranging from 28 to 55, and all of them seem to be clamoring for Mistress's attention. Setting aside the guys from the DC area and South America who were clogging her inbox last week, I would bet 1 in every 4 supplicants is from "West Lionel". Is there something in the water out there that sends guys into the purgatory of "loveless marriages",  or gives them some need to exploit their "very oral" propensities outside their own bedrooms?  Has AM launched some type of door to door marketing campaign out there to get these lonely and horny married guys to sign up in droves?  And if Slave opened his own AM page as a test, would I find a bunch of equally unfulfilled married ladies from West Lionel looking to unlock their inner sluts between the time they drop little Johnny off at the middle school and stick the casserole in the oven for dinner? 

Lovable Losers. Despite the warning in Mistress's profile that she does not respond to "winks" or lame emails like "how's your day, sweetie?", it's amazing how many guys try that approach anyway. Maybe it's because they are not confident in their spell check skills, one of the things Mistress has pointed out is a way she sorts contenders from pretenders. So those winks just get deleted, but sometimes Slave can't resist clicking on the profiles to see the "man" behind the cheap cum on. Here is a good one:

Preferences and encounters I am open to:

I love to eat pussy an fukn married women is such a turn on

What really turns me on:

a nymoho wife or two sisters mom daughter anything kinky an cheating lol

What I am looking for:

being naughty toys (dp) um love a wet bj. i love eating pussy an making women cummmm

For a moment I thought this might actually be the WC, based on the absence of punctuation. But then I realized that even he can spell "nympho".  And the profile shot of this skinny dude from Kentucky convinced me that it was not Miguel.  But I am still wondering if he's had much luck finding a mom /daughter combo to him a "wt bj". Maybe he needs to focus his hunt on West Lionel, where the women may have a lot of spare lunch hours available for that sort of fun.

Recognizable "Civic Leaders".  Then there is the guy who you actually know. In response to a request to see Mistress's "private showcase" (no face included), I usually scan the guy's profile to see if he meets the minimal standards Mistress has laid out - age, height and weight appropriate, reasonably articulate, yadda yadda. Here's one that met that initial screening:

Preferences and encounters I am open to:

Conventional Sex, Sensual Massage, Kissing, One-Night Stands, Extended Foreplay/Teasing, Gentleness, Cuddling & Hugging, Nothing Kinky, Likes to Go Slow

I believe no one person should have to be everything for another. It’s natural for someone to feel a powerful sense of attachment to a long term partner, while experiencing romantic love for somebody else and at the same time, feeling sexually attracted to a diverse range of people.
I would like to try exploring different dynamics with you — sexual, emotional, psychological and spiritual.

What really turns me on:

Confidence, Discretion/Secrecy, Petite Figure, Disease Free, Good Personal Hygiene, A Professional/Well Groomed, Sense of Humor, Muscular/Fit Body, Girl Next Door, Not Possessive, Stylish/Classy

interest in world affairs, arts & culture.

Some of these items are just "box checking". But there is a little bit of original prose in there that seemed acceptable enough to give him a better glimpse at Mistress and see what he might have to offer if given a chance.

So this morning when I clicked on the photo he sent back, I just about did a spit take with my morning latte. "FarmBoy500", is actually a guy we know who runs a large local civic institution. He's this unctuous weasel Mistress and Slave refer to as the "Undertaker" because he has that overly smooth and condescending manner that one associates with the guy looming at the back of a funeral home, mentally counting the dollars as the family and friends grieve. Even worse, we were both pissed off at the guy from a remark he made to us years ago at big civic Christmas Party, suggesting that Slave must have been having some side dishes of his own while Mistress was working out of town. Nasty. 

As I recall, he was a Minister in a prior life. Maybe his use of the word "spiritual" in his profile  was a tip-off I should have picked up on? It brings to mind some Bad movie from the 50's where the local minister is cleverly transitioning members of the ladies auxiliary into a tryst in the rectory after evening prayers.  

Fortunately, the photos he's seen of Mistress give him no idea of her identity. But now we know something about the "undertaker" we never wanted to know. What do we do now.

Mistress's Corresponding Secretary

We got back to River City late Saturday evening, and have been a little too busy since then: work demands, cranky mother maintenance, and getting ready for a move of the UCTMW World HQ at the end of the month. Add in getting our cute Co-Eds home from college over the next two weeks . . . it's a scary and somewhat stressful scenario.

Fortunately, we've been able to squeeze in plenty opportunities for slave to pleasure Mistress, with more than adequate reciprocation on her part. Particularly memorable was Sunday morning here in her executive suite. Slave deployed her favorite power tool until she responded with one of those quick, dirty and enthusiastic cums. And then there was some robust cock riding that seemed to curl Mistress's toes. She generously allowed me to take my own pleasure once she was fully sated, at least for the time being.

One assignment I've had over the last week or so was to repost Mistress's Ashley Madison profile. It's spring time, and Mistress is interested in expanding her portfolio of lovers. AM has been hit or miss for her in the past, but has certainly generated some blog fodder. Who could forget Cougar Week? But this time Mistress is going to be much more selective and patient with potential "sidedishes". And she has made it clear what my role is going to be.

" Slave, what I hate is looking at all those messages, winks, photo requests.... it's such a hassle sorting the contenders from the pretenders....you're going to be in charge this time."

What does that job include? 

Tuning up Mistress's profile.

Making sure some hot but not too slutty photos are lining her "private showcase", and turning it on for viewing by potential suitors. 

The more challenging part comes with reviewing and prioritizing the crazy assortment of solicitations that pop up in her "mailbox". Despite her clear requirements about height, availability and location, it seems AM must have broadcast her lead photo (sexy shot of her in lingerie and hose, without face of course) far and wide. How else do you explain all those solicitations for access to her "private showcase"  from Brasil, Australia and Canada. 

Sorry dudes.

Then there are the guys who want to show you their junk without any invitation to do so.  Slave is the one who gets to shield Mistress and hit the delete button.

When we traveled briefly to DC last week, AM (without asking) must have picked up the relocation of my lap top and sent the word to all those hounds in DC, Maryland and Virgina.  The word was out: "fresh meat in town". Slave must have deleted more than a hundred emails, winks and photos requests for Mistress's attention over 3 days. There was even a guy who claimed to work at the Italian Embassy,  wanting to take her out on a sailboat for wine tasting.  I showed that profile to Mistress, but she was unimpressed.

"He's a little too round Slave.... " He seemed more like a cook than diplomat. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

There have been a couple of "gentlemen" who passed the initial screening. Mistress authorized me to commence a more robust communication. I feel a little bit of a tease, using Mistress's "voice" to see if they are worth reeling in, or even meeting for coffee or a lunch.

One seems to get the whole cuckold thing, and has even forwarded Mistress some juicy photos taken from a Tumbr "hot wife" blog. (let's hope he doesn't stumble on UCTMW). I think Mistress gets off on making her Slave help her with her screening / cyber seduction of potential lovers.

"When we meet that one, you're coming too Slave....."

That could be an interesting lunch.

All Mine Boot Camp?

Mistress and her devoted Slave have been in our nation's capitol these last two nights. A meeting for Mick, and Mistress tagging along and doing some sight seeing and work in our room. It was good to get away from River City and decamp to a cozy hotel room with a very comfy double wide bed. Slave even went running on the morning to let Mistress sleep in before returning to some robust wake-up sex.

But being on the road did not take us away from our network of sex bloggers. Maybe some of you have noticed that Suzanne seems to have taken a particularly low profile these last couple of weeks. I now have it on good authority that she has taken Tammy and Jay off to a "boot camp" of sorts. Maybe all their travel was starting to annoy her? Who knows. But at least according to this picture someone slipped under my cyber transom, they are all going "back to basics".  I'd be curious to know how she twisted their arms into checking out of their regular lives for a few days for a refresher course on basic devotional skills. Maybe it was one of those  CIA style rendition where a black van full of goons pulls up and slips black bags over their heads? They wake up in some over upholstered dungeon with shock collars locked around their balls? It's a thought.

Hopefully after this retraining regime is completed Suzanne's team will be fully back in action for her entertainment and amusement. And ours.