A UCTMW Thanksgivakkah by the Numbers.

All that's left of Thanksgiving 2013  are a couple of turkey carcasses and the fond memories of family time together where no one came to blows or crossed that imaginary line of impropriety that becomes family legend.

Whew!

Plus we dodged the bullet for the first time in a few years and did not have to host our family and hangers on. So there is no cluttered kitchen for Slave to clean this morning.  Let's review the numbers:

8000- Someone mentioned at the table that this is the first time in 8000 yrs. that Thanksgiving and Hanukkah coincided. But was there really a Thanksgiving (or a Hanukkah) 8000 years ago?  And does anyone really believe that in 79,000 years, when it happens again, those who we leave this planet to will still be celebrating these events? Will Wal-Mart allow it?

13- People at the table last night at Grandma's house. (She had a cool silver bracelet on about 5 inches long that she must have bought from Wonder Woman. No, she's not your typical Grandma).

9- Pies driven in from Chicago. Yummy.

8- Times Mistress's sister used the word "Colonoscopy". At least when I was in the room. With two MDs and at least one hypocondriac at the table, it seemed we spent a lot of table talk time on medical procedures.

6- Bottles of wine consumed.

3- Dogs circling around, looking for scraps.

2- Dogs dressed  in leopard print hoodies. I mean, it was cold here yesterday. Where's George Zimmerman when you need him?

2- Times Mistress got to cum yesterday. (At least when I was around...one with our morning sex... once before our afternoon pre-pig-out nap, when Slave ministered to her clean shaven folds).

1- Times Slave got to cum. Once is enough for an overeating, pampered house Slave, don't you think?

We hope all of our followers state side had a pleasantly non-disasterous Thanksgiving too!

Thanksgivakkah Greetings

Mistress and her devoted Slave and in between social engagements right now... resting up a little before the big family dinner. There at least was time for some slow and sensual wake - up sex this morning, before a trip to the gym to burn off the calories from the pre-TG dinner with family we shared last night.... Why settle for one big family feast for Thanksgiving when you can schedule four in a row, right?

In any event, we wish all of our friends and followers well on this odd national holiday, that seems to have developed a bi-polar character these last few years: is it about spending time at home with family and friends, or is it about cramming into big box retailers to get a sweet deal on some household appliance?

I tend to think that there will be plenty left over at Target or the Mall the weekend before Christmas!

In the meantime, let's contemplate instead what kinky games the Indians and Pilgrims played all those years ago when the last bowl of yams was polished off:

Mistress takes a La-Snog-Na Break....

Mistress's new self-employed gig gives her a little more flexibility during the day.  Somedays, she's driving from meeting to meeting, and going a little bonkers. On other days she builds in a little more "flex-time".

Yesterday, before I headed to my own personal coal mine, she gave me a summary of her day: spinning in the AM. Work on some written projects at home,  prepare some lasagna for dinner with our homeward bound girls, then pick the East Coast Co-Ed up at the airport.

So I figured I knew where I could find her - at home - when I called to check in at lunch time.

But, alas.... the phone rang.... no Mistress.  She didn't even respond to my text.

Hmmmm.

She was off the radar screen.

Then, at around 1:30 or so the text chimed.....

"Jay came over Slave, and well .... update you later."

The story as it ultimately came out via phone and a more complete debriefing later was that they had planned to meet for lunch, but then Mistress suggested he come over for a plate of the lasagna she had just whipped up.

I guess that is one way to a man's cock....

I wonder if Mistress was slaving away in the kitchen, dressed like this when Jay arrived?

Keep in mind that Jay and Mistress stopped being "fuck buddies" about a year ago. He had issues with the shared nature of this sort of relationship. Probably understandable, but it I always wondered, "what's not to like?"

Then they went into a "biking buddies" phase.

They talk on the phone.

ride bikes.

She goes over to visit when she is "in the neighborhood".

There's been a little kissing.

There was that shared shower one day.

But no sex.

So what happened?

"After we ate the lasagna, I was cleaning up and he just came up from behind and grabbed me Slave..."

The rest was inevitable, apparently.

Soon they were up in the UCTMW Executive suite, clothes frantically falling away, and Jay taking her standing up, Mistress laying on her back on the bed.

"Then he had me do myself with the Hitachi Slave... for some reason he seems to really like that."

No doubt.

"Sounds like you had a productive day, Mistress...."

"I did Slave...."

And she had that well fucked smile that comes with a little afternoon action with your "side dish" before an empty nest gets re-infested.

Of course, Slave got to taste the results of a busy day for the clean shaven folds once we finished our own lasagna with the girls.

But I had to wonder.

"After all those months of relatively platonic buddy stuff, what turned the page?"

"Not sure Slave.... it's complicated for him. He wanted to know if I was going to tell you."

"And you said?"

"Of course... what's to hide, I said . He just laughed."

Crazy. Maybe we just chalk it up to  the ricotta cheese.

Just What Mistress Needed...

On Saturday a box arrived here at the UCTMW World HQ.

It was an assortment of gifts from our Senior Correspondent Donna and her lovely daughter in honor of Hanukkah. (Or is it Thanksanukkah this year?)

There were some candies, hot chocolates and coffees. A few feathers which she said were for the cats, but could have a more diabolical use if in the hands of an uppity pampered slave on switch day.

But at the bottom of the box, there were these:

"Great for risotto, Mistress?"

I said a little dubiously.

"Or for the next time you get surly, Slave...."

Moi, surly?

Gee thanks, Donna. Just what Mistress needed to compliment her super sized shoe horn, bamboo cane  and riding crop.


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I did want to briefly comment on the events that unfolded last night in the frigid tundras of Foxboro, Mass.

I know the WC and Suzanne over at All Mine were at the edge of their seats over the renewal of the rivalry between "PFM" and Mr. Giselle, though my sense is that they never settled on appropriate wagering terms. Suzanne seemed to be  doubting the prospects of her team and their Glamour Boy QB.

She even offered a bet with some sexual consequences to Jay, I hear, but he turned down the chance to put his own ass on the line.... the prospects of which  all of us have been rooting for.

The game  turned out to be a Tale of Two Halves, on Ice. I turned off the TV with the WC's Donkeys up 24-0 before the half, and the Patriots looking like they had already checked out for the night.

When I awoke this morning and checked ESPN I discovered that whatever trance they had fallen into in the first half had dissipated, with Mr. Giselle shaking off his ass-fucked doldrums and leading a rally that ended in an OT victory for hoodie's team.

It left me wondering.... did Jay leave the game at half time, sulking back for the solace of Suzanne's bed. Or did he stay to the bitter, but ultimately triumphant end in that low 20's stadium. If so..... it makes you wonder if the so-called trophy cock succumbed to frost bite.

If so, the monumental Patriots victory will be of the Pyrrhic variety. But I hear they sell nice implants these days. Good luck Suzanne!