The Brady "Slide": A UCTMW Investigative Report

Deadspin.com has gotten some attention in the last two weeks for their hard hitting investigative reporting on whether a certain naive linebacker made up his dead girlfriend, or if someone made her up for him.

It made me realize that we've lost our edge here at UCTMW in recent months, what with our Western Correspondent continuing to malinger on a long running worker's comp leave, and our Senior Correspondent trolling for cute cat pictures on the internet.

Ah well, I suppose it's time for Mick to don his Sherlock Holmes chapeau and see what I can unearth.

But in truth, it was actually Suzanne over at All Mine that got me onto this story.

Last Sunday, as Mistress snoozed through the second half of an endless NFL play-off double header, Suzanne (who was home with Tammy watching her beloved Patriots lay a 2nd half goose egg against the Ravens) and I were trading emails about the deterioration of Tom Brady's game in recent years.

And the one thing that symbolized it was a rather bizarre "slide" late in the first half.  You can see the video here: (Brady Slide video).  My first impression was that he looked like an un-co-ordinated dork. But on further review, it may be that he was "fending off" Raven safety Ed Reed in a not too veiled effort to "eunuchize" the guy who has feasted on interceptions from Brady and other NFL QB's over the years.  Now the NFL has socked Brady with a $10,000 fine,  apparently concluding that his upraised leg was not just a "spaz attack", but more akin to Pete Rose trying to take out a catcher.

Classy.

Suzanne also tutted about Brady's failure to run for a first down in the 2nd half, when a forced throw ended yet another drive for her Pats.

So what accounts for this "slide" in Tom Brady's performance?  Suzanne speculated it was the "curse of Gisele", his super-model wife.

"They haven't won a Super Bowl since the big wedding day."

Hmmmm..... Is it just bad luck, or is Gisele doing something to Tom that has made him lose that competitive edge?

Suzanne had a theory: "Maybe she's fucking him in the ass..... ?"

Ah, the possible sissification of the guy who used to be the NFL's most potent stud-muffin.  That might explain it. Could there  be evidence?  Sure enough, as I trolled about the internet, there was plenty:

Certainly Gisele cuts an authoritative path:

And Tom has begun sporting the trappings of sub status:

Some recent images of the two of them together makes it pretty clear through their body language who is in charge, doesn't it?

And what about this shot? That's them right?

So over a few short years, with some intensive "therapy", Tom Brady has turned from the guy who would risk all to score that winning TD in a snowstorm, to this guy:

It made me wonder what Gisele picks out for him to wear under those tight football pants and jersey before a big game. Amazingly, I was able to get to the bottom of that too:

Very cute, don't you think?

But as Suzanne ultimately concluded: "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Well I suppose I can see her point of view. 

Abstinence Day Redux?

It's been cold here in River City this week.... not "cups of boiling water freezing in your hand" cold as Sin was touting from the great north... but cold enough for Mistress to forego her black tights for her black satin pants yesterday.  And while Slave is a tights fetishist going back to my elementary school days, I must say I enjoy the texture and feel of those satin pants.

With the sullen teen home, and an early performance for me yesterday morning, Slave and Mistress also had to forego our traditional wake-up sex on Thursday morning.  So it was fortunate that Mistress was able to stop by my office after a lunch meeting. It did not take her long to wriggle out of those black satin pants and assume her proper position on her "throne", once it was pressed against my office door.  Slave was quickly on his knees, serving up a little post-lunch dessert.

Of course, my "reward" was expected later, in the privacy of the executive suite.

At the end of the day our daughter was hungry. And since she has elected to be a vegetarian, and the cupboard was running bare, we elected to walk down to a little neighborhood restaurant for dinner. By the time we were home, and some of the household chores were finished we retired to the our room, a tad later than normal.

Slave offered to perform his husbandly duties, but Mistress demurred. 

"Slave, I'm quite satisfied after today's lunchtime worship....  you'll just have to wait until morning."

Gulp.

Now we used to have a weekly abstinence day here at UCTMW, applicable only to Slave of course.

"It's good for you to exercise a little self control now and then, Slave", was the message.

And I am overly pampered, as some of you have noted regularly.

I'm wondering ... is Mistress is deciding to exercise a little more of her authority over her Slave?

Sent to Our Room

The nest is filling up again, at least through Sunday.

Our well traveled daughter is back from the land down under, looking tanned, and having fully exploited the 18 year drinking age there with her buddies, who are  on their summer holiday. (I'm still waiting for the Creationists to explain why God would ever make it summer on one hemisphere and winter on another.)

We picked her up late Tuesday night at the airport, after fully exploiting our last evening alone this week here at the UCTMW World HQ

Then last night, after I made dinner, as she sprawled across our couch and worked on the photos from her adventure, we asked if she'd like to watch a TV show with us.... maybe the latest episode of Girls, or Californication.

She looked at us with the disdain that only a 19 year old can muster.

"Why don't you just go to your room."

Well, OK. Why argue with that "sentence".  There were some clean shaven folds to worship, after all.

Catching Up for Lost Switch Days

It's been a while since Slave properly exercised his Switch privileges on a Sunday.... have I been lazy? Or was it simply the holidays and kids around that kept me in my more apropos submissive role?

In any event, with an empty nest yesterday, and no big plans other than heading to the gym early, and watching football late, there was no impediment for me giving Mistress a taste of her own medicine, was there?

So after returning from the gym, Mistress was instructed to strip off those spinning togs and lie on her tummy as I afixed those red cuffs to her wrists and then attached her properly to the bed.

Her ass was satisfactorily reddened with the palm of my hand, with a little twat tweeking interspersed to build up a little tension.

"What are you doing Slave?"

"Keeping you a little on edge Mistress.... will it be a slap from my palm, or my highly experienced digits sliding to and fro through those clean shaven folds?"

It was nice to have her going from cries of "agony", to moans of delight and back again.

But I'm really not programmed to frustrate Mistress.  So it wasn't long before I reached under the bed for her favorite power tool, that ended up thrust between those firm, well exercised thighs. Soon those ass muscles were flexing, tensing, trying to purchase just the right level of stimulation as I twisted and probed with her Hitachi.

Of course, the machine was turned off for a bit if it seemed she was getting there a little too fast. We had all morning after all....

"What are you doing, Slave?", she asked in frustration.

'What's your rush, Mistress?"

After I switched her little toy on again, pressing its churning bulb again betwixt those creamy folds,  she soon was begging to cum.....

And who was I to deny her?

She moaned into her pillow, her whole body tensing, pressing hard as she could against her power tool as she went over the edge....

"That was nice, Slave....."

"We're not done just yet, Mistress....

No, Slave had to cash in his chips too.