HNT / Mistress and the Fed Ex Man

Mistress has been recovering from a nasty cough these last few days. The clean, high mountain air seems to be helping, and the sunshine charged her batteries like nothing else.

Though it's not too humid here, the sun can be very intense. Slave does to huddle under the portal (the overhang that surrounds our house) with a good book.

Mistress on the other hand likes to go for it, soaking up the sun's rays for hours at a time. Fortunately, her swarthy complexion seems to handle it. I offer to apply sun screen, which offer is usually rejected. Amazingly she does not burn.

And because we have almost complete privacy, why shouldn't Mistress use this opportunity to eliminate those tan lines.

"My 'clean shaven folds' are all tan now Slave.... what do you think?"

This said as she hands me an iced tea she had generously offered to get her Slave, giving me a full view of her firm and bronzed body.

"Lovely, Mistress."

The only problem can be the ocassional arrival of the Fed Ex Man who pulls up the drive, loops around at the top, and then hands over his package.

If he is aware of what to look for, and he's been here more than a few times over the years, he's likely to get a very nice view of the lovely Mistress from the high seat of his delivery van.

As it turned out, when he arrived yesterday, I was inside making some lunch, while Mistress remained in naked repose out on her chair, as demonstrated above.

He did have a rather dazed expression on his face when he handed over the envelope sent from my office.

Maybe it was just the sun. Playing tricks on him.

Wildlife

After our morning wake up sex here in the high desert, poor Mistress was inundated with a number of phone and email "conversations" from her office. Our original plan had been for a morning bike ride, but she had  clearly had enough of the "karma killing" folks at work, so she suggested an alternative plan.

"Let's just go to the beach, Slave."

The beach here is at the foot of a steep, winding 1/3 mile trail into the Rio Grande Gorge. The destination is an ancient hot springs on the bank of the river, with a small sandy beach to boot. Sadly, Mistress was unable to do any nude sunbathing, because she did not want to shock a group of  Archeology students and faculty from Columbia and Barnard who were mapping some ancient ruins and searching for petroglyphs left here by the Anasazi or other long lost tribes.

We did run into some horses left to graze at the rim of the gorge by their owners. Amazingly, the single strand rope "cage"  left by the owners was all it took to keep them from wandering off.  We met the owners on the trail and they said a simple strand of twine was usually enough to mark their limits back at their ranch.

I suspect Mistress wished she could train me so well!  But maybe that's where we're heading.

We spent a few hours basking in the sun, and cooling in the tepid springs and cold river, heading home only when late afternoon storm clouds gathered.

We still had plans for a ride, but figured a 4 pm nap would be a nice idea. AS it turns out we slept for about an hour, to be woken by a call to Mistress from J.

They were cute as she talked to him from our bed about what's up in River City. He can be a little taciturn, so I can imagine his embarrassment when Mistress inquired as to whether he missed having sex with her.  No doubt the answer is "yes", for both of them.

When the call was done, it seemed that Mistress was in the mood for a little attention from her Slave. She instructed me to insert my "device", the aneros, to assure a particularly needy cock - no problem there. And after I worshiped her to one slowly building cum, she decided it was time to ride her cock, to a few more moaning and groaning orgasms, before she rolled over to let her Slave take his own pleasure from her lush body.

We did end up taking the bike ride, but only after a rather startling discovery.  As I was retrieving our bikes and helmets from the back of the house, I noticed a little "guest" hiding behind a snow shovel leaning against a wall.

A rather young rattle snake, only about 20 inches long.  I moved the shovel, hoping he would just slither away. Instead he coiled up in a defensive crouch.....

After pointing out the little dude to Mistress, we steered clear of him, wondering where his larger Mother might be lurking.

We hope this doesn't discourage potential guests for the bloggers' convention. (He was gone when we returned from our ride).

But before signing off, I did want to share with you some additional ideas that our Western Correspondent had for products for the UCTMW on line retail store:

Hey Mick 

Here is my idea for new products if you want to use it tomorrow and sleep in

Bicycle seats..........

I think Donna is on to something here

Her dildo seat could become unisex         

Just a slight adjustment built into the seat for a different angle and voila! 

Unisex seat..

Then we could partner with Hitachi and build a vibrating seat for the ladies of UCTMW

And the world!!!!!!!!

A little switch on the handlebars could switch it on and off

Or just duct tape a vibrator to the bike seat

That is the WC's idea:)

Then her riding partner could roll up beside her and twist the handle when he wanted her to speed up.... or slow down:)

Then Molly.......... when you are sucking gas on a long up hill

Presto, instant energy!!!!!

Hey............ they let us use cell phone in our cars.......

And Donna

We can have them build either a dildo.... vibrator......Or both into your new chair

That would get you out and about!!!!!!!!!!!

And just think Molly maybe you can pitch this idea to Ford, GM and Toyota,,

In fact I'm sure you could

Happy lady drivers all over the world!!!!!!!

Maybe a few more crashes but......

The WC doesn't mind:)

Just kidding!!!!

Love all you Nuts

The WC

Thanks, WC for these exciting new product concepts.

Though I wonder how Ralph Nader or Consumer Reports might react to these new "distractions" for those traveling our highways.  But just think, it could be a boon for personal injury lawyers.

Mistress Gets Some Unsolicited Sex Advice

I'm sad to report that  Slave blinked on switch day yesterday. So if you were counting on smutty shots of Mistress tied to some furniture and "suffering" through some forced orgasms, you'll be disappointed today.  Truth be told, Mistress has been recuperating from some bad lung congestion.  So Slave showed some mercy, and chose not to make her any more uncomfortable than possible.

That's not to say that we didn't enjoy some lovely wake-up sex before we headed to a beautiful and seemingly deserted national park north of here, for a long bike ride. The wind was brisk, the air was dry and surprisingly cool, and the views were spectacular.

We got back here at our hideaway by around 1 pm, time for some relaxation with  books out on the patio, Naturally, Mistress was completely naked, working on eliminating those tan lines.  I was mulling the thought of tying her to the lounge chair and unleashing the Hitachi, but just then some late afternoon clouds and winds popped up, cooling things off considerably. It seemed like a good time to adjourn to our bedroom for a nap, which turned into a late afternoon "matinee" with Slave commencing things with some hardcore worship, followed by some slow and tender fucking that I hoped did not disrupt Mistress's slow recovery from that nasty cough.

Sadly, we did have to get out of bed by around 5:30 pm, to attend a dinner party down the road a bit hosted by some friends here from Texas.  Slave was grumbling a bit about this engagement: these are nice folks, but, quite frankly, more like people we work with or know through our kids back in River City. A little too suburban and dull, and not the types who represent the iconoclastic charm of the southwest.

But we knew the food and wine would be good, and it's hard to come up with a good excuse NOT to accept a generous dinner invitation when the folks knew we were here without kids and did not have an early Monday work meeting on our "busy" schedules. ( I did suggest to Mistress in our post coital bliss that we could say she had a relapse,  something involving anthrax. She was not amused!)

Truth be told, once Mistress and Slave began our little adventure in the world of kinky sex, dinners with vanilla types can be a little dull, no matter where they are, or what the view.

These two couples are both in their 50's. Not particularly stylish, and certainly not particularly sexy. Our inside  joke about them is that they need other folks around all the time because they don't seem to enjoy their own company, let alone actually have sex. 

So as we were sitting there, munching on some cheese and crackers before dinner, we were a little   dumbfounded when one of the rather frumpy ladies brought up the subject of ..... you guessed it.... 50 Shades of Grey.

Argh.

She'd been reading it. So have her friends. And then there was that "girl" with her boyfriend on the plane up from Texas, reading it too.

I was keeping my mouth shut. But Mistress had to inject.....

"You know, Mick read it too..... he wanted to see what all the talk was about."

Of course, now that she had embarrassed me, I was tempted to note that it was purely for journalistic purposes, so I could review it in our kinky sex blog.

But I was more.... prudent. 

"It seemed pretty lame to me .... I mean, does anyone know any seemingly hot recent college grads who are still virgins?"

Both of these frumpy ladies looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh sure..... there are lots of them out there!", they both seemed to say, in unison.

I guess I don't know many girls who go to TCU, SMU and A&M.

I figured it was time for Slave to shut up, just as their attention turned to Mistress.

"So did you read it Molly?",  giving her that knowing look implying the opportunities  she might be missing for a little private finger fiddling when her lumox of a husband was "out with the boys", maybe bowling or hunting  squirrels.

"No.... when Mick told me  how bad it was, I just stuck it on the shelf...."

"But you'd actually like it..... let him read it to you, or you read it to him.... you never know where that might lead...."

All accompanied by a little naughty tittering.

But I was impressed with the way Mistress shut them both down.

"Believe me, that would not be necessary....."

At that point I'm sure we were both imagining what the two Texas moms would think if they got a glance at UCTMW.

Of course, that might be one way to cut off future not enthusiastically accepted dinner invitations.

She's No Lady, She's My Mistress

We broke from our normal laid back SW rhythms here yesterday - sex, bike ride, lazing about, food, more sex - by heading into "town" for an annual music festival. 

The photo is not the guest quarters for our sex bloggers conference, but part of the "set" for the festival - I wonder if the bands actually use these to change into their "costumes", or simply to get out of the sun, maybe to share a joint or beer.

There was the typical eclectic crowd to entertain us: young, old, lots of tattoos (some older ladies answering the parental question "what do you think you're going to look like with that tattoo when you're in your 60's?"), svelte and flabby, and every tie-dyed garment you can imagine.

Of course, the music was lively: a little blue grass, some Latin rock, and the eclectic Americana of Lyle Lovett, one of our favorites. Lyle has a local connection, having been married back in the late 1990's to a rather famous movie star who keep a home across the pasture from our little hideaway. During his set he told a few stories about his past times in this neck of the woods. And although I suspect many of us were waiting to hear some comment on that past marriage, and craning our necks to see if his famous Ex might be in the crowd, he was quite discrete and there were no Julia sightings on our part.  He did play some of his old tunes, including this one She's No Lady, She's My Wife  that stirred some interest, and made me wonder about a re-write that would fit the title of today's entry.


Music aside,  the people watching was the best part as the hot high desert sun beat down into the late afternoon.

One thing Mistress has strong opinions about is footwear.  She had some cute sandals on that nicely displayed her well manicured tootsies.

But she has limited patience for guys with sandals that display their gnarly toes.

"Ugh.... too many ugly feet here Slave...."

I think the large guy in cut-offs and a biker shirt who was sitting on a camper chair right in front of us, massaging his own rather worn feet must have been a little too much for her.

Fortunately, Slave knows how to avoid Mistress's displeasure, while still wearing something comfortable for a day in the sun, when something more formal could get tight and hot.

They may not be glamorous, but at least no one has to look at my less than perfectly maintained toe nails.

We have plans for a long bike ride today, but I promised Mistress she won't miss her switch day "privileges"... so maybe it's time to sign off and get down to some kinky business.