Mistress Gets Some Unsolicited Sex Advice

I'm sad to report that  Slave blinked on switch day yesterday. So if you were counting on smutty shots of Mistress tied to some furniture and "suffering" through some forced orgasms, you'll be disappointed today.  Truth be told, Mistress has been recuperating from some bad lung congestion.  So Slave showed some mercy, and chose not to make her any more uncomfortable than possible.

That's not to say that we didn't enjoy some lovely wake-up sex before we headed to a beautiful and seemingly deserted national park north of here, for a long bike ride. The wind was brisk, the air was dry and surprisingly cool, and the views were spectacular.

We got back here at our hideaway by around 1 pm, time for some relaxation with  books out on the patio, Naturally, Mistress was completely naked, working on eliminating those tan lines.  I was mulling the thought of tying her to the lounge chair and unleashing the Hitachi, but just then some late afternoon clouds and winds popped up, cooling things off considerably. It seemed like a good time to adjourn to our bedroom for a nap, which turned into a late afternoon "matinee" with Slave commencing things with some hardcore worship, followed by some slow and tender fucking that I hoped did not disrupt Mistress's slow recovery from that nasty cough.

Sadly, we did have to get out of bed by around 5:30 pm, to attend a dinner party down the road a bit hosted by some friends here from Texas.  Slave was grumbling a bit about this engagement: these are nice folks, but, quite frankly, more like people we work with or know through our kids back in River City. A little too suburban and dull, and not the types who represent the iconoclastic charm of the southwest.

But we knew the food and wine would be good, and it's hard to come up with a good excuse NOT to accept a generous dinner invitation when the folks knew we were here without kids and did not have an early Monday work meeting on our "busy" schedules. ( I did suggest to Mistress in our post coital bliss that we could say she had a relapse,  something involving anthrax. She was not amused!)

Truth be told, once Mistress and Slave began our little adventure in the world of kinky sex, dinners with vanilla types can be a little dull, no matter where they are, or what the view.

These two couples are both in their 50's. Not particularly stylish, and certainly not particularly sexy. Our inside  joke about them is that they need other folks around all the time because they don't seem to enjoy their own company, let alone actually have sex. 

So as we were sitting there, munching on some cheese and crackers before dinner, we were a little   dumbfounded when one of the rather frumpy ladies brought up the subject of ..... you guessed it.... 50 Shades of Grey.

Argh.

She'd been reading it. So have her friends. And then there was that "girl" with her boyfriend on the plane up from Texas, reading it too.

I was keeping my mouth shut. But Mistress had to inject.....

"You know, Mick read it too..... he wanted to see what all the talk was about."

Of course, now that she had embarrassed me, I was tempted to note that it was purely for journalistic purposes, so I could review it in our kinky sex blog.

But I was more.... prudent. 

"It seemed pretty lame to me .... I mean, does anyone know any seemingly hot recent college grads who are still virgins?"

Both of these frumpy ladies looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh sure..... there are lots of them out there!", they both seemed to say, in unison.

I guess I don't know many girls who go to TCU, SMU and A&M.

I figured it was time for Slave to shut up, just as their attention turned to Mistress.

"So did you read it Molly?",  giving her that knowing look implying the opportunities  she might be missing for a little private finger fiddling when her lumox of a husband was "out with the boys", maybe bowling or hunting  squirrels.

"No.... when Mick told me  how bad it was, I just stuck it on the shelf...."

"But you'd actually like it..... let him read it to you, or you read it to him.... you never know where that might lead...."

All accompanied by a little naughty tittering.

But I was impressed with the way Mistress shut them both down.

"Believe me, that would not be necessary....."

At that point I'm sure we were both imagining what the two Texas moms would think if they got a glance at UCTMW.

Of course, that might be one way to cut off future not enthusiastically accepted dinner invitations.

She's No Lady, She's My Mistress

We broke from our normal laid back SW rhythms here yesterday - sex, bike ride, lazing about, food, more sex - by heading into "town" for an annual music festival. 

The photo is not the guest quarters for our sex bloggers conference, but part of the "set" for the festival - I wonder if the bands actually use these to change into their "costumes", or simply to get out of the sun, maybe to share a joint or beer.

There was the typical eclectic crowd to entertain us: young, old, lots of tattoos (some older ladies answering the parental question "what do you think you're going to look like with that tattoo when you're in your 60's?"), svelte and flabby, and every tie-dyed garment you can imagine.

Of course, the music was lively: a little blue grass, some Latin rock, and the eclectic Americana of Lyle Lovett, one of our favorites. Lyle has a local connection, having been married back in the late 1990's to a rather famous movie star who keep a home across the pasture from our little hideaway. During his set he told a few stories about his past times in this neck of the woods. And although I suspect many of us were waiting to hear some comment on that past marriage, and craning our necks to see if his famous Ex might be in the crowd, he was quite discrete and there were no Julia sightings on our part.  He did play some of his old tunes, including this one She's No Lady, She's My Wife  that stirred some interest, and made me wonder about a re-write that would fit the title of today's entry.


Music aside,  the people watching was the best part as the hot high desert sun beat down into the late afternoon.

One thing Mistress has strong opinions about is footwear.  She had some cute sandals on that nicely displayed her well manicured tootsies.

But she has limited patience for guys with sandals that display their gnarly toes.

"Ugh.... too many ugly feet here Slave...."

I think the large guy in cut-offs and a biker shirt who was sitting on a camper chair right in front of us, massaging his own rather worn feet must have been a little too much for her.

Fortunately, Slave knows how to avoid Mistress's displeasure, while still wearing something comfortable for a day in the sun, when something more formal could get tight and hot.

They may not be glamorous, but at least no one has to look at my less than perfectly maintained toe nails.

We have plans for a long bike ride today, but I promised Mistress she won't miss her switch day "privileges"... so maybe it's time to sign off and get down to some kinky business.

Generating Heat But Eluding the Smoke

Our little corner of the mountain west has been lucky this week. We not only have no raging wild fires nearby, but the good nature of the gods of the winds have directed the soot and ash from the fires to our north and south in other directions.

So, unlike last summer, the beautiful blue skies are not diluted by that brown haze generated from smoldering pine wood far off the horizon.

That gave Mistress and Slave the opportunity for a nice long bike ride yesterday after our morning sex here in the mountain hideaway.

We did get a dispatch from the WC, with an invitation from his new clubhouse, Scarlett Ranch, inviting him to their special benefit orgy to help forest fire victims:  

You are invited to a special event for the victims of the Colorado Wildfires.

Saturday, June 30th ~ Doors Open at 6:00!

Come join all your friends for this special charity event to benefit the victims of the Colorado Wildfires. We are collecting Items and will deliver them after the weekend. Items needed include new clothing, personal items, as well as items for large, small, domestic, and agriculture animals (Food, Blankets, Hay, Straw). Please check out http://helpcoloradonow.org/ or http://www.hsppr.org for more info!

Please, No Cash. Checks can be written out to the Humane Society or Red Cross.

SILENT AUCTION!

Many wonderful friends and members have already donated items for the Silent Auction, including: Tattoo by Pepper, Gift Certificates to Lime, Photo Session with Peter Dunn, Healing and Aura Cleansing Session, Haus of Dollz Boudious Photo Shoot, One Hour Pin Up Shoot, Jewelry by Judy,...Just to name a few.

If you have a service or item you would like to donate for the silent auction, please let us know! ....Or if you are a band, performer, entertainer, and you would like to entertain on Saturday (or Sunday), please let us know!

All Proceeds go to Animal Rescue Groups, Charities supporting Fire Victims and Fire Fighters.

A very special thanks to all those that all already helping.  So close to home..so many friends and family that are affected. Let's do what we can to help!

If you can't make it Saturday Night, feel free to bring your donations to the Independence Day Celebration on Sunday!

Mistress and Slave gave a few seconds of thought to hopping in the car and driving north the 5 hours or so through the smoke and flames to join Miguel and B at this worthwhile event..... We'd have to pack plenty of wet rags to use when the breathing got tough.

But I think we'd rather hunker down here, more sex, more bike rides, and an afternoon music festival, where a performer who used to be in an apparent femdom relationship with one of our more notorious neighbors will be performing. 

But we did get wondering about what the WC plans to contribute to the silent auction:

An internship with the UCTMW media empire, direct report to him?  

Or maybe free rides on the special occasion cock?

Good luck, WC. It's all for a good cause. 

Mistress and Slave In a More Natural Habitat

After a long travel day we pulled into our dirt driveway here in the shadows of the Sangre de Christo mountains. The moon and stars were bright, and the air was significantly cooler than the 101 degree of swampy polluted air we were happy to leave behind in River City.

As we headed to the airport we did give a call to the WC, who updated us on the fire-mageddon in his home state. It turns out some of his family members had to evacuate their home, and are now filling up the WC's house. We told him that he and B are welcome to head south to visit us here and escape the crowds. Fortunately, we seem to be clear of fires and smoke as I look out onto the mountains this morning.

Which reminds me of the Sex bloggers retreat we always talk about this time of year, but never seem to organize.  It would be great to have Bill and Donna out here. I could stun a few prairie dogs with my BB gun, and Bill could skin them with his knife collection. I could modify my Green Chili Stew recipe to include prairie dog nuggets rather than lamb.

And of course, we would love to have Suzanne, Tammy, Jay, and Sophie join us too.  Although it might be necessary to construct a TeePee on the back 40 to accommodate all of mutations in their varied couplings.

Naturally, we'd have to find room for J. I have a sense Mistress will be missing the variety he adds to our life this week. I will just have to work on some additional "pitches" to add to my traditional knuckle ball and change - up.

And we're not forgetting  about 'Nilla, Aisha and Sin either.  It might get a little tight, but we could make it BYO Yurt.

I did want to turn back to Suzanne for a moment. She sent an amusing email to me yesterday in response to my request for suggestions for the inventory for the imaginary UCTMW On-Line store.

"The next time Molly takes on of those long bike rides with J, you may want to take your own shorter ride and get some satisfaction for yourself at the same time, using something like the attached.

Just remember to take off the Cage."

 Gee, Suzanne. Thanks for thinking of me.