Dear Mick and Molly . . .

It’s Wednesday again, and like last Wednesday, Slave is “cage ready” and Mistress is planning on some mid-day delight with her lover Jay.

Of course, last week things went awry. The heater repair guys dawdled, and poor Mistress was denied her the all access pass to her side dish, failing to break a long draught. She came home very frustrated.

Now, a week later,  both of their calendars have cleared again, but the weather report is ominous. It’s raining here now, but the doomsayers on the TV are predicting another big snow storm this afternoon.

Will Mistress make it to Jay’s?  

Will she get snowed in with him?

If so, will Slave be stuck in his cage overnight if the weather forces them to  go into overtime?

Tune in here in here tomorrow for an update.

But today’s blog is really about a chance for Slave to kibbitz on another one of those advice columnists who just doesn’t get it. You know the drill: silly request for sex advice, to which Mick and Molly provide a more frank and  nuanced response. This one comes from the Washington Post:

Q. Am I a Prude?: I’ve been married happily for more than a decade and my husband and I are in our 30s with young children. We have an active bedroom life, and work together to keep our relationship and love life intact. My husband likes sexting (what man doesn’t?) and I usually don’t. I have to be in the right mood for it, and usually during the day I’m busy with work, errands, etc. I’m uncomfortable sending pictures of myself or saying things I’m not really thinking or feeling. I do indulge when I’m in the right mood, but most of the time when he asks, I just don’t want to! Recently, in a text conversation, he hinted toward it, I changed the topic (my gentle letdown tactic), he asked outright, and I told him to stop pressuring me. He said he didn’t like being accused of pressuring me, and we argued. Is this something I should do as part of my “wifely duties” even though I don’t want to? Is there any way to feel less resentful about it?

Dear Sexted-a-lot:

Well this is one of those first world problems, isn’t it? 

You’re grumpy because your husband of more than a decade still pines for you so much that he wants to telegraph his lust for you , despite  the distractions of his busy work day.  Would you rather get his textual come-ons yourself, or have him discharge his sexual energy on some cutie at work? Maybe you’d prefer him wanking off to sex-blogs like ours? With the threat of censorship lifted, maybe we can post a few more hot photos of Mistress to keep him off your screen.

Wait. Let us guess – you work for Google?

Believe me it could be worse. Mistress not only gets the occasional illustrated sexts from her caged slave, but has to deal with phone calls from Jay, enticing text messages from her side-side dish K, and those facebook messages from her old college lover, begging for revealing photos so he can rekindle old pre-cyber flames.  Somehow she manages to overcome those distractions and get her work done. A little cyber-foreplay can prime the pump for some hands-on action when the dust settles at the end of the day.

If you’d rather dodge your husband’s randy workday missives, maybe you can persuade one of your less busy lady friends to act as your ghost writer. She might actually enjoy it!

But otherwise, buck up, lady. Sometimes you have to take one for the team!

Molly and Mick

Just in case you wanted to know how The Post’s “Prudence” answered this letter, here is her response:

A: For some people one of the pleasures of sex is not having to form coherent sentences. Also, since most of us are bombarded all day with electronic communications, getting demands to write sexy texts, or send risqué photos while at work or at the grocery store, is not an erotic enterprise. You two need to talk this out—and not right after having a spat about it. Tell your husband you want to accommodate his sexual desires, but sex is a mutual enterprise and for you, his enjoyment of sexting feels burdensome, not stimulating. There’s also the issue of your not wanting to get caught doing things during work that could compromise your employment—which also goes for your husband. You both need to understand and accept each other without pressure or resentment, and I hope your husband can openly and sensitively hear you out. (And he better not threaten to take his sexting needs elsewhere!) In any case, if there isn’t an app for this there should be, something with canned phrases (“I can’t wait to get home and see you standing at attention, you big, big …”) you can generate while standing in the check-out line.