How do I get my partner to dominate me?: Housework, Sex, Middle Aged Marriage and what the study actually says
Niles English who writes the blog "How Do I Get My Partner to Dominate Me" did a great job of drilling into the data of the study blown out of proportions in the New York Times article discussed here yesterday. It looks like it was based on some rather stale and imperfect data, from which the author may have jumped to some unjustified conclusions. The link is above.
In any event, those of us who have changed the traditional sex role "scripts" in our marriage sure do better than either the typical "traditional" marriage, or the "modern" marriage with its housework sharing!
Thanks Niles for looking deeper into this.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
Do "Manly" Husbands Really Get More Action?
The New York Times Sunday magazine had an article yesterday that got Mistress and Slave laughing. Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?
The author tosses off a variety of half-baked theories on the state of modern marriage based on a study that she claims shows (no link to it is provided so I can't verify) that couples in more "egalitarian" marriages, where child care and household tasks and decisions are shared, have sex 1.5 less times per month than couples in more "traditional" marriages.
One thing that was hard to pin down is what constitutes an "egalitarian" vs. "traditional" marriage. The author's focus seems to be on whether the husband does a significant share of the child care, cooking, vacuuming and laundry. If they do, well then, things are coming up short for them in the bedroom, presumably because the wife no longer sees husband as a compelling manly hunk.
On the other hand, if the man of the house focuses on yard work, log splitting and hunting for game to put on the table, well.... he's scoring bigger in bed. That is if you count 1.5 times a month more a big score.
From this premise, the writer launches into a number of social theories, including that there is less sexual satisfaction in a marriage when the wife brings home a bigger salary than the man; and that women who are "better educated" than their husbands tend to "cheat" more.
Of course, here at the UCTMW HQ we had a little trouble comparing those apples to our oranges.
"1.5 times a month less, Mistress.... all because I like to cook and help with the laundry?"
"Do you feel deprived Slave?"
"No.... I think I'm pretty well satisfied. We even have readers like Harry and Suzanne that say you indulge me too much. If I vacuumed, would you cut me back to 8 times a week?"
"When was the last time you vacuumed, Slave?"
I confessed it had been quite a while.
"I guess the fact that we now leave the vacuuming to our gay, male house-cleaner confirms the thesis of this article, Mistress."
There was one gaping hole in this article: 1.5 times per month less than what? The writer never reports what the baseline norm was in the "control group" of households, where the more macho traditional husband only sneers at the idea of whipping up dinner, or dropping little Johnny off at school, and then drops his sweaty gym clothes on the floor so his less educated, stay at home wife can secretly sniff up his genetically different secretions before spreading her legs for him, hopefully before he showers. (You have to read the article, I suppose).
But you can read a little deeper into this by doing the math. In a later paragraph, the author says that the 1.5 times a month penalty a guy endures for cooking and cleaning amounts to a 17% reduction. So with my limited algebra skills I worked it out. If a 1.5 times "sex reduction" is 17% of your "traditional marriage" total, then that total is a whopping 8.8 times of sex per month.
So your average bring home the bacon, chop the wood, go hunting on the weekend with the guys manly husband is only getting it 8.8 times per month? No wonder the internet porn industry is doing so well, and so many folks download pictures of Molly's ass for imagination stimulation purposes!
Here at the UCTMW World HQ, where this humble Slave is happy to do the laundry, cook a good percentage of the meals, and wear a cock cage on command, that 8.8 represents a typical WEEK! And I'm past 60. Presumably this study includes guys in their 20's, 30s and 40s, when at their sexual peaks, not way over the hill like me.
I also wonder how that study defines "sex". Are they using the traditional "Bill Clinton, "I did not have sex with that woman" definition? I am not counting in our 8 times / week total the times when Mistress gets worshiped and her slave is not indulged. Or when Mistress makes a pit stop at her lover Jay's house. Those are just bonus cums for her, I suppose.
Obviously, this "study" used the wrong control group. They need to look at couples where the wife takes charge!
The author tosses off a variety of half-baked theories on the state of modern marriage based on a study that she claims shows (no link to it is provided so I can't verify) that couples in more "egalitarian" marriages, where child care and household tasks and decisions are shared, have sex 1.5 less times per month than couples in more "traditional" marriages.
One thing that was hard to pin down is what constitutes an "egalitarian" vs. "traditional" marriage. The author's focus seems to be on whether the husband does a significant share of the child care, cooking, vacuuming and laundry. If they do, well then, things are coming up short for them in the bedroom, presumably because the wife no longer sees husband as a compelling manly hunk.
On the other hand, if the man of the house focuses on yard work, log splitting and hunting for game to put on the table, well.... he's scoring bigger in bed. That is if you count 1.5 times a month more a big score.
From this premise, the writer launches into a number of social theories, including that there is less sexual satisfaction in a marriage when the wife brings home a bigger salary than the man; and that women who are "better educated" than their husbands tend to "cheat" more.
Of course, here at the UCTMW HQ we had a little trouble comparing those apples to our oranges.
"1.5 times a month less, Mistress.... all because I like to cook and help with the laundry?"
"Do you feel deprived Slave?"
"No.... I think I'm pretty well satisfied. We even have readers like Harry and Suzanne that say you indulge me too much. If I vacuumed, would you cut me back to 8 times a week?"
"When was the last time you vacuumed, Slave?"
I confessed it had been quite a while.
"I guess the fact that we now leave the vacuuming to our gay, male house-cleaner confirms the thesis of this article, Mistress."
There was one gaping hole in this article: 1.5 times per month less than what? The writer never reports what the baseline norm was in the "control group" of households, where the more macho traditional husband only sneers at the idea of whipping up dinner, or dropping little Johnny off at school, and then drops his sweaty gym clothes on the floor so his less educated, stay at home wife can secretly sniff up his genetically different secretions before spreading her legs for him, hopefully before he showers. (You have to read the article, I suppose).
But you can read a little deeper into this by doing the math. In a later paragraph, the author says that the 1.5 times a month penalty a guy endures for cooking and cleaning amounts to a 17% reduction. So with my limited algebra skills I worked it out. If a 1.5 times "sex reduction" is 17% of your "traditional marriage" total, then that total is a whopping 8.8 times of sex per month.
So your average bring home the bacon, chop the wood, go hunting on the weekend with the guys manly husband is only getting it 8.8 times per month? No wonder the internet porn industry is doing so well, and so many folks download pictures of Molly's ass for imagination stimulation purposes!
Here at the UCTMW World HQ, where this humble Slave is happy to do the laundry, cook a good percentage of the meals, and wear a cock cage on command, that 8.8 represents a typical WEEK! And I'm past 60. Presumably this study includes guys in their 20's, 30s and 40s, when at their sexual peaks, not way over the hill like me.
I also wonder how that study defines "sex". Are they using the traditional "Bill Clinton, "I did not have sex with that woman" definition? I am not counting in our 8 times / week total the times when Mistress gets worshiped and her slave is not indulged. Or when Mistress makes a pit stop at her lover Jay's house. Those are just bonus cums for her, I suppose.
Obviously, this "study" used the wrong control group. They need to look at couples where the wife takes charge!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Our Man in Sochi Still Looking for An Exclusive
Mistress and Slave had a relatively tranquil day here in River City - there was our traditional wake up sex, which came as a great relief after that long day in the cage. Thankfully, she resisted following the advice of some of you advocating a longer sentence of denial and depravation! After that she headed to the Gym and Slave tended to his cute grandkids for a few hours, who instructed me in the art of lego.
When they were collected, it seemed like it had been a tiring day --- so we adjourned to the bed in Mistress's executive suite for some much deserved R & R. Nothing like a nap and some late afternoon fucking to kick off a Saturday evening in our empty nest.
In the meantime, our intrepid Western Correspondent was back into his sports reporter mode, and took time off from crashing the showers of the women's hockey team and the ladies ski team hot tub party to share the following:
Well here again from Sochi,
I defer to my Senior Editor about the opening ceremony
Damon Runyon rides again
In the annals of sports writing
But those sweaters the US team was wearing?
Seriously
Hockey players were wearing those things????
I thought we were the North Pole team there for a minute .....
Well I avoided a broken kneecap
No figure skating girls for me, those girls scare the poor old WC
And still haven't seen a gay yet
Except I suspected that about 1000 of those dancers may have been gay
But I have no proof
Great dancers though
Thought the show was great
Except for the propaganda
Well an American snowboarder won the slope style
Very cool
I think the Americans can take 1, 2 , 3 and 4 in skier slope style
We will see
They are all Colorado boys, except one.....
Well I figure the American gun peeps will be very happy today as the cross country skier/shooters were on TV
Special forces meet the Olympics
The ski jumpers were on TV too
That sport has its American history in Steamboat Colorado
There are two ski areas hills in Steamboat
Howelsen Hill
Where the ski jumps
have been for over 80 years
Steamboat was settled by Swedes
And Mt. Warner
Named after the famous Colorado Olympian Buddy Warner who was killed in an Avalanche in the Alps in 1965
I raced often in Steamboat in my youth...... Greatest ski town than most people do not know
about
Well waiting for Bodie in the mens downhill tommorow
I don't think he will win , too old I fear
But I am hoping!
Watch out for Mikaela Shiffrin though, she is a great young American slalom racer from Vail, only 18 years old
Too young for naked sex blog pictures Mick:) But Nothing wrong with a little spandex!
Well got to go watch the women shower in the ladies dorm.
Got a ticket to the show from my new buddy Vladimir
And there was a pretty cool to tub party that Julie Mancuso invited me too. She looks like a "handful" doesn't she!
Your intrepid man in Sochi
WC
Thanks for that insightful reporting WC. Hope you did not get that high priced UCTMW camera equipment you put on the UCTMW AmEX card wet when you took that last shot.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Extra Time in The Penalty Box
With the WC cruising the winter games, it was hard not to think of a hockey metaphor when Mistress locked her Slave away for the day yesterday morning, sliding the key out of the lock and sending me on my way for a long day at work.
"I don't want you running wild if I'm not going to see you at dinner time, Slave."
It was an unusual Friday night for us. Mistress had promised her Mother to accompany her to a social event and dinner. Slave was using the time to visit my cranky Mother and bring her a Pizza and some groceries at her assisted living "home". It was not like I was going to get in trouble, but I suppose Mistress has every right to remind me who is in charge.
At least there was a chance for some robust wake up sex, with my cock already surrounded by that tight steel ring. I had done my best to please Mistress with my lips and tongue, but after I had done my part of the bargain, she began a bit of a tease.
Gripping my very enthusiastic cock, she pondered it's fate, as I wriggled in her grip, suggesting in increasingly desperate pleas that the time had come to mount her.
"What if I deny you, Slave. Just think how horny you'd be all day in that cage."
"It's not a pleasant thought, Mistress."
"But isn't that part of the fun... frustration and denial."
It wasn't sounding like much fun to me at the time. I need to steel myself in advance for that sort of thing. And the only thing that was 'steely' was what Mistress had a tight grip on. So I resorted to some cheap reverse psychology.
"But just think, Mistress. You'd miss out on that extra hard cock in your hand...you like it when that ring is on, don't you?"
"Hmmmm..... you do have a point Slave...."
Thankfully, Mistress's own self interest prevailed, and a good time was had by all before I hit the shower and headed off to my long day.
Mistress finally got home at around 10 pm. I'd been there a while, switching on the Olympics "opening ceremony" to see if I could catch a glimpse of the WC sidling up to Julie and Lindsay for an exclusive interview. What I found was some strange and incomprehensible cultural montage of post-Soviet national narcissism, set in a town that until now was apparently best known for ethnic cleansing. But then I suppose the Russians were probably a little befuddled when at the London Olympics the "Queen" parachuted to the stadium floor. So I didn't wtch for long. I hope the WC was successful in his mission. But I'm not sure he would have recognized Julie or Lindsay in those dorky team costumes, since he's been more focused on these get ups:
But I don't think they were parading in their ski boots.
Back in the UCTMW executive suite, it seemed like Mistress took her own sweet time to find the little key and release her work-a-day cock. But she made clear that Slave was going to have to wait for any additional release until this morning.
It seemed like a small price to pay to get out of the penalty box and back in the ice.
"I don't want you running wild if I'm not going to see you at dinner time, Slave."
It was an unusual Friday night for us. Mistress had promised her Mother to accompany her to a social event and dinner. Slave was using the time to visit my cranky Mother and bring her a Pizza and some groceries at her assisted living "home". It was not like I was going to get in trouble, but I suppose Mistress has every right to remind me who is in charge.
At least there was a chance for some robust wake up sex, with my cock already surrounded by that tight steel ring. I had done my best to please Mistress with my lips and tongue, but after I had done my part of the bargain, she began a bit of a tease.
Gripping my very enthusiastic cock, she pondered it's fate, as I wriggled in her grip, suggesting in increasingly desperate pleas that the time had come to mount her.
"What if I deny you, Slave. Just think how horny you'd be all day in that cage."
"It's not a pleasant thought, Mistress."
"But isn't that part of the fun... frustration and denial."
It wasn't sounding like much fun to me at the time. I need to steel myself in advance for that sort of thing. And the only thing that was 'steely' was what Mistress had a tight grip on. So I resorted to some cheap reverse psychology.
"But just think, Mistress. You'd miss out on that extra hard cock in your hand...you like it when that ring is on, don't you?"
"Hmmmm..... you do have a point Slave...."
Thankfully, Mistress's own self interest prevailed, and a good time was had by all before I hit the shower and headed off to my long day.
Mistress finally got home at around 10 pm. I'd been there a while, switching on the Olympics "opening ceremony" to see if I could catch a glimpse of the WC sidling up to Julie and Lindsay for an exclusive interview. What I found was some strange and incomprehensible cultural montage of post-Soviet national narcissism, set in a town that until now was apparently best known for ethnic cleansing. But then I suppose the Russians were probably a little befuddled when at the London Olympics the "Queen" parachuted to the stadium floor. So I didn't wtch for long. I hope the WC was successful in his mission. But I'm not sure he would have recognized Julie or Lindsay in those dorky team costumes, since he's been more focused on these get ups:
Back in the UCTMW executive suite, it seemed like Mistress took her own sweet time to find the little key and release her work-a-day cock. But she made clear that Slave was going to have to wait for any additional release until this morning.
It seemed like a small price to pay to get out of the penalty box and back in the ice.
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