The Decline and Fall of America's Sex Life?

Mistress and slave are wrapping up a three week visit to our SW hideaway, where we've enjoyed both blazing sunshine and the final days of a phenomenal ski season. And, of course, plenty of sex.

Nothing too kinky. And no cuckolding action....but certainly doing well by most couple's standards.  While we skipped one day of skiing on this trip -- high winds threatened to shut down the lifts - we haven't missed a day of hot, steamy copulation in our sun lit bedroom.

But a recent article in the Washington Post suggested that we are becoming the out-est of  outliers when it comes to sexual frequency.

The decline and fall of our fellow country-mens' (and women's) sex lives is reflected in one chart that shows 23% of American adults have not had sex IN THE LAST YEAR?  Huh?  This choice of seemingly permanent celibacy flies in the face of reports that the Catholic Church has had trouble recruiting new priests who do not have a "thing" for little boys or girls.

About 38% report having sex once a month or less frequently, which put them at risk of simply forgetting how to do it. We are clearly in the top end of that remaining 39% who report having sex weekly or more.

Sadly, trend lines are going in the wrong direction, with frequency sloping consistently downward since 1989, the end of the Reagan era.

So what's driving this emerging sexual desert?  Is climate change impacting our sex drives?  Has President Trump's creepy take on the propriety of "pussy grabbing" turned off an entire generation on sex? Looking a little deeper at the stats, there seem to be two sources of the problem,
1) Some of us are getting older. Apparently  aging baby boomers (yours truly excepted) aren't "doing it" as much as they did in the 1960's and 70's.  Now I suppose that's not big surprise.
2) But the real anomaly is that youngsters in the 18-29 bracket are leading the new celibacy movement.






As shown by the chart above, a whopping 23% of 18-29 year olds are "just saying no" when it comes to sex. Has screen time and video games replaced a roll in the hay as the "go to" activity for young people these days? Or are they just more particular when it comes to finding a sexual partner, despite all the buzz about the instant coupling on apps like Tinder?

In any event. here at the UCTMW World HQ, we plan to simply move forward with our daily game plan. Some of us have to pitch into reverse those ugly trend lines!

Bored Wife Syndrome? In Search of a Cure.

Mistress is the one away this weekend, off to visit our daughter down in GA. We had some great “reunion” sex on Sunday evening, and more on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. One accelerant that stoked our sexual fires was Mistress recounting her “while slave is away” sleepover with her old (and maybe current) lover Jay.

“It was hot, slave.  Like old times. I think he missed me……”

“I’m sure he did, Mistress.”

My guess is Jay will be coming around again soon. Though I think he likes it a lot more when he is the only man in the house. Sharing is not one of his strong suits.

Sadly, with Mistress away, slave doesn’t have much blogging inspiration to work with (other than Mistress’s description of the two business men who chatted her up at the ATL airport on Thursday morning).  

SO let's discuss a recent Atlantic article,  The Bored Sex, which validates our embrace of the cuckold lifestyle.  Hint: “The Bored Sex” is not male.  As the lead suggests “women, more than men, tend to be stultified by long term exclusivity…..” Here’s a taste:

Andrew Gotzis, a Manhattan psychiatrist with an extensive psychotherapy practice, has been treating a straight couple, whom we’ll call Jane and John, for several years. They have sex about three times a week, which might strike many as enviable, considering that John and Jane — who are in their 40s — have been together for nearly two decades. Based on numbers alone, one might wonder why they need couples counseling at all.

But only one of them is happy with the state of play. And it isn’t Jane.

“The problem is not that they are functionally unable to have sex, or to have orgasms. Or frequency. It’s that the sex they’re having isn’t what she wants,” Gotzis told me in a recent phone conversation. And like other straight women he sees, “she’s confused and demoralized by it. She thinks there’s something wrong with her.” John, meanwhile, feels criticized and inadequate. Mostly he can’t understand why, if his wife is having sex with him and having orgasms, she wants more. Or different.

The article quotes a variety of studies suggesting that women can more quickly get bored with monogamous sexual relationships than their male partners.

Although most people in sexual partnerships end up facing the conundrum biologists call “habituation to a stimulus” over time, a growing body of research suggests that heterosexual women, in the aggregate, are likely to face this problem earlier in the relationship than men. And that disparity tends not to even out over time. In general, men can manage wanting what they already have, while women struggle with it.

So how does a modern woman avoid that dreaded “habituation to a stimulus”? (i.e.,  hubbie’s same old, same old cock?)

Obviously, look for new stimuli!

Although this article mentioned strategies like toys, lingerie and even open marriages, the glaring hole was cuckoldry (with or without a FemDom chaser).

But it’s so obvious! If women are more likely to succumb to  sexual blahs than their male mates, then why not open things up for the female partner to acquire a “side dish” (or a variety of side dishes) as a relationship matures?

What’s good about a  “sidedish” is that it can be more readily replaced or recycled than a “main course”. Tired of fries?  How about some sweet potatoes?  Grilled eggplant? Or even deep fried Brussell sprouts? They all go well with a steak!

If the husband hopes to remain the “main course”, it behooves him to make sure there is a compelling variety of “side dishes" on the menu.

And if it just so happens that a bride’s enjoyment of a side dish (or three) is a source of stimulus for a sub-hubby, all the better!

While the slave's away.....

slave is spending a short weekend on the east coast, visiting my daughter and my cute (relatively) new grand daughter. It left Mistress with an open dance card for the weekend. One that she had no trouble filling.

"Jay's coming over Friday night."

"Oh?  It's been a while, Mistress..... what brought this on?"

"WE had lunch last week, and I mentioned you would be away.  He's been acting like he wanted to resume our "old times", So he suggested that the time was right...."

Older readers will remember Jay.  He's been around for maybe 5 years or so.  Things heat up, and then he backs away, seemingly confused and frustrated about this 'fucking some other guy's wife' thing.  Not everybody gets it, after all.  I think he'd like my wife all (or at least more) to himself.

As I was packing my bag on Thursday night, Mistress described their plans.

"He' meeting me here at 5 slave.  I told him to just let himself in, and that I'd be waiting for him in bed.  It's my nap time after all."

True that.  We usually share a late afternoon nap before dinner.  At least Mistress won't be alone for that.

"Then we're going out to dinner.  He'll be spending the night....."

"sounds like you won't be too horny while I'm gone, Mistress. "

"No slave,,,,, you may be without sex for the weekend, but I'll keep the home fires burning for you here."

It's been good to see my daughter, and spend some 'grumpy time' here.  But I made sure to stay in touch with Mistress to make sure all was going according to plan.  She gave me a call after she returned from dinner.  It turned out that dined at a nearby hipster bistro  where we had dinner on Thursday night.

"It was funny slave.... we had the same waiter.  He recognized me and I joked with him that last night I'd been there with another guy.....he thought it was funny."

No doubt.

I wonder who left the bigger tip.

"We're going to bed now, slave.  Sleep tight....."

I suspected I would be getting more sleep than she did.

In the morning I got another call around 8 am.

"Morning slave.....Jay's downstairs making himself some coffee, so I thought I would check in....."

"Aww.... that's usually my job."

(I usually made Jay's coffee when he slept over.)

"I know, but I think he'll figure it out...."

"So how did it go?"

"It was nice. Like old times.  We agreed it had been about 15 months since the last time.....he says he wants to do this more often again, whatever that means."

"I bet he feels more comfortable with your slave out of town....."

"You're probably right..... well I think he's coming back upstairs.  There's going to be more sex here before he goes home around 11.  Have a good morning slave!"

And I did.  But it wasn't easy to lose the thought of Mistress back in bed for a leisurely Saturday morning roll in the hay back in River City.

Spanking?

An anonymous reader left a comment yesterday and asked a question.  And since the "reply" function doesn't seem to be working as it should, I suppose this is the best way to respond. So consider this a follow up answer to a follow up question.

The comment came from a Dominant wife who said that she and her husband have been fantasizing about the possibility of her hypothetical Bull / Dom administering a bare bottom spanking to her hubby.  She wanted to know if we've talked about this in the Collins household.

Quite frankly, it's not something that's come up. I guess we still are focused on achieving Cuckold Level I.  Being spanked my Mistress's lover sounds like a post-grad course taken in Cuckold Level II. 

But it did open up some thoughts on what might be part of  the escalating humiliation of the cuckold husband in an evolving relationship involving a wife's dominant Bull lover.  

We've discussed or fantasized about:

• Mistress "pegging" her slave as her lover observes and eggs her on.
• Mistress using her riding crop on slave as her lover observes.
• Mistress being required to turn the key of slave's cock cage over to her lover.
• Mistress taking her lover's direction on when and how she can have sexual relations with her slave / husband.
• Mistress also being required to wear some sort of chastity device.

Obviously, these are variations on the cuckold theme that could be added on to the menu as a relationship escalates. 

As always, thanks for your comments and questions!