Medical "Consult"?

After a long and trying day, both Mistress and Slave were longing for a bike ride to shake out the cobwebs. But just as rush hour approached here in River City, the thunderstorms moved in. We loitered about the house for a while in our riding attire, hoping for a break in the downpour, and when it eased a bit we took that as a sign to climb on our bikes and hit the road.

As it turned out our timing could not have been much worse -- halfway through the ride the downpour accelerated. By the time we were home, after dodging thunderbolts, we were soaked and chilled.

Slave poured Mistress a Tequila. I grabbed some medicinal Jameson, and we slid into the double sized tub here in the new/old UCTMW world HQ to warm up. After a good soak, Slave did his best to add to Mistress pleasure by use of my lips and tongue.

At about this time, Mistress mentioned she had been to her internist today for a check-up in advance of a minor surgical procedure she has scheduled for later in July. "I've seen him the last few times, Slave. He's very handsome."

"Does he flirt, Mistress?"

"Hmmm.... a little, Slave.  And then there's the surgeon..... he's pretty handsome too."

"Maybe you should invite them both to a joint consult, Mistress..... it can't hurt to get your medical team together to compare notes."

Looking for a Summer Getaway?

A few weeks back our (formerly) sex blog colleague "Fury" was looking for some suggestions for a summer getaway. Ireland and Italy were on her list. But with a suggestion from Donna, our Senior Correspondent, now we know that tiny Iceland should be added to that "I" name list too.  Fury be treated to cooler temperatures, very long summer days and bountiful sweater shopping. But as a special treat, she could also enjoy the chance to ponder all the options available to an open minded female at the Icelandic Phallological Museum in beautiful cosmopolitan Reykjavik.

Here is a link to their sight, for a virtual "warm up" tour.http://www.phallus.is/en/.

According to their website:
 
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The Icelandic Phallological Museum is probably the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal found in a single country. Phallology is an ancient science which, until recent years, has received very little attention in Iceland, except as a borderline field of study in other academic disciplines such as history, art, psychology, literature and other artistic fields like music and ballet. Now, thanks to The Icelandic Phallological Museum, it is finally possible for individuals to undertake serious study into the field of phallology in an organized, scientific fashion.  

Don't you love the logo:

And there are some lovely photos available which provoke the imaginations, and might even get some of you lady readers juices flowing over your morning coffees. 

I suspect 'Nilla's creative juices would start flowing, making her  branch out from tentacles, if she got up close and personal to one of these whale penises:

Naturally, there is a Museum store, where you can pick up all things phallic: T-Shirts, keyrings, coffee mugs, yada, yada. Maybe we can persuade our local public radio station to use these as fundraising premiums for the next interminable pledge drive. I liked this little "conversation piece" for your coffee table:

What got Donna interested in this subject (well the museum. I think she's been interested in cocks since she was 11) was this blurb in the Huffington Post:

 

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If tiny Iceland has a worldly cultural showcase, it is the Icelandic Phallological Museum, founded in Reykjavik in 1997 and housing 300 penises and penile parts from 93 different animals. So far, however, it lacks an exhibition-worthy human penis. That omission is about to be remedied, as Mr. Jonah Falcon, a New York City D-list celebrity with an organ that measures 13 1/2 inches, has accepted an invitation to donate (presumably not in the flesh until he dies). Falcon notably refuses to appear in pornography, but said he regards this mission, for what Huffington Post called the Louvre of penises, as a higher calling. 

When I read about some New Yorker contributing his 13" penis to the Museum it got me thinking. WC, are you going to let some duffus from the Big Apple try to put his cock on display without some competition from the Special Occasion Cock?

I hope this development  provokes you to write up an organ donation form right away. Yes, I'm sure your tempted to donate it to someone who could use the added self esteem that would come with that sort of enhancement - say LA Governor Bobby Jindal?  But think of your place in history man? And all those ladies getting pokies under their Icelandic Sweaters for generations to come as they examine what your legacy and ponder what could have been.

Mistress Works on Her Tan

Fortunately, the trip my daughter and son-in-law took to the ER turned out to be no big deal. I whipped up some blueberry pancakes for my cute grandsons, they watched some cartoons on netflix, and were collected in time for a little wake-up sex that left Mistress and Slave plenty of time for a bike ride and a trip to our swim club on Sunday.
And while we didn't have the time for the "Switch Day" activities Slave had planned, Mistress did seem to enjoy the cock riding that ensued after Slave worked his magic with my lips and tongue.

At our pool the sun was blazing, and Mistress enjoyed a chance to build on that early summer tan before we head to our SW hideaway on Friday.  And it seemed there were more than a few guys who were happy to chat her up, while getting a close up look of those long, lovely and muscular gams.

It made me wonder whether "Fury" ever got her pool open.  Don't they have swim clubs in the Great White North, or are they prohibited because they attract Polar Bears?

Nest Crashers

Here at the UCTMW World HQ Mistress and Slave thought the stars were aligned for a laid back and sexy Sunday morning. 

Our daughter had a "house guest" on Friday night. A young male from upstate who attends her University. New boyfriend?  She will neither confirm, nor deny. 

(Are all Co-Eds like that these days?)

In any event he slept downstairs on friday evening. She was in her bed upstairs when I woke up with the dawn. Was there a conjugal visit in the morning? Or after we went to bed? Who knows.

On Saturday night they were staying at a hotel adjoining a local theme park. Should we presume that sleeping arrangements were not in separate beds? 

I guess it's none of our business.

So when Slave got home around 6:30 pm Saturday from visiting my mother in the hospital, the prospects were for an empty nest at least until Sunday afternoon. Before dinner there was some "rest" time, and then Slave rose to the occasion and had his way with Mistress (with permission of course!)

It was fortunate that Slave acted on impulse last night, because at around 2 am I got a call from my son in law.  A trip to the emergency room was in his cards, and he wanted to drop off my two cute grandsons for an unscheduled sleep over. 

They were quite co-operative when they arrived, and giggled as I off loaded about 2 dozen pillows and stuffed animals from C0-Ed #2's bed. They concurred when I asked "what is it with girls and pillows?"  Then they slid under the sheets and  quickly nodded off.  They are snoozing away as I type.

I'm now wondering when 5 and 7 year old's wake up. Not sure they want to be exposed to the scene of their step-granny tied to the bed, with an hitachi churning between her thighs.

Maybe later?