Slave's Advice to Poltical Wannabes

Yesterday, Suzanne over at All Mine had some advice for political wives on how to contain the primal urges of their husbands so as not to (further) humiliate them. Not surprisingly, her advice involved a cock cage for the Anthony Wieners of the world.

It so happens that Ol' Mick has been involved in a few political campaigns in his life, and with some gray hair accumulated, where there still is hair, its not unusual for an aspiring political candidate to ask me for some advice.... but none of them ever seem to ask about the one subject that seems to get so many of them into trouble.... managing a messy sex life. So, in case any of them are reading here, I've compiled 

MICK'S TOP TEN SUGGESTIONS FOR POLITICIANS ON HOW TO MANAGE THEIR SEXUAL URGES:

10. If you feel compelled to patronize a prostitute, consider not using a check or credit card, as Jerry Springer did back in his Cincinnati City Council days. The documentation makes a great "get out of jail free" card when the pro gets picked up for soliciting.

9. Hounded by stories of womanizing? Don't take your squeeze out for a weekend cruise on a boat called "Monkey Business", and then pose for pictures with her on your lap.

8. Looking for a pizza pick-me-up during the latest government shut down?  Ask the White House kitchen for carry out, not the cute intern who likes to flash her thong at you.

7. Looking for an alibi to cover your trip to South America to visit your honey? Consider "trade mission" rather than solo hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

6. Caught by a camera wielding constituent in Argentina rather than on the Appalachian Trail? Don't conduct a live on CNN news conference where you profess your undying love for your latest honey, while the good wife stews back in the governor's mansion.

5. Enjoying a messy blow-job in the oval office? Consider having that cute thong flashing intern wear a bib. Or, if not, insist on paying her dry cleaning bill.

4. Sending photos of your dong to your fawning  internet fans? At least use Snapchat, where the photos self delete after the first viewing.

3. Governor of New York? Don't assume that prostitutes at the Mayflower Hotel in D.C. won't recognize you.

2.  Don't expect that the public will buy "I did not have sex with that woman" because your dick only went into her mouth, and only your cigar slipped into her silken folds.

1. Picking a naughty sexting pseudonym? Avoid names like "Carlos Danger" when running for office in a constituency with more than a 5% Hispanic population. Try something less ethnic, like "Iron (Congress)Man". Or maybe "LongDongTony"

Mistress and Slave Throw a Party

Last night the UCTMW World HQ was crammed with family and friends as we threw a party to commemorate our 20th Wedding Anniversary, Mistress's "BIG" Birthday, and our younger C0-Ed's birthday as well. There were just a handful of folks on hand who actually made it to that long ago "surprise" wedding, which had been disguised as a birthday party. Sadly, some key attendees at that event are no longer with us, though they were here last night in spirit.

Mistress was looking lovely as always, with even a cute lesbian couple fawning over her (this always fuels one of Slave's favorite fantasies).

Also in attendance was Francois (you may remember him, he's got a little listing on our cast of characters), with his female co-habitant. He helped us select the wine for the evening and brought a jar of spicy pickles as a gift, which I suspect had some double meaning Slave is still trying to sort out.

Jay was also in attendance. We have not seen him much of late, primarily because he's been dealing with a son now living with him. But he seemed to fit in with the crowd. Fortunately, we did not have to field questions along the line of "how do you know those guys?"

But with two of her former lovers here,  those fawning lesbians,  and a broad assortment of friends and family, hopefully Mistress felt that the evening was a success.

Slave probably is due for a punishment though.... at some point, before the party began, the warm sun still up, I had the temerity to ponder why Mistress was lighting candles.... I mean, it's summer time right? It was pretty toasty, it would get even warmer as the crowd arrived, and candles generate heat. "not practical".

Mistress was not amused.... "After 20 years haven't you figured out that I like lit candles, Slave."

Well, maybe I've tried to tune it out.

I did my best to back out of this "dispute" when Mistress got into a bit of a huff and started blowing out all the candles she had lit at some effort.

One of the first guests to arrive was Mistress's former assistant, (we'll call her Kate) also a woman who bats from the other side of the plate. When Mistress explained out little disagreement about candles, this friend nodded knowingly.

"It's the same way with Sally (her companion).... I'm always lighting candles and she's always moaning about it.... I just tell her 'deal with it'."

Not surprisingly, one would surmise that Sally is the more "macho" of the two ladies in that relationship.

So what is it with babes and candles?

Now Slave is up early, cleaning up the mess, while looking forward to a day off without much on the agenda other than attending to Mistress's wanton, post party desires, and hoping that my candle grousing did not earn me some swats with her riding crop.

HNT/ Office Worship Interruptus

It was bound to happen some day. And maybe it was only fitting after our multiple interruptions on Switch Day.

I had dropped Mistress off just a block from my office for one of those River City macho early breakfast meeting. After charming all the tedious business execs,  she came up to my office to get the car keys and head over to her own office across town. But first....

"I think I have some time for a little worship, Slave...."

"Always happy to accommodate, Mistress."

She eased off her undies, as I slid her "throne" against the door.  The one without a lock.

Soon Slave was on his knees, doing what I do best,,,, letting my lips and tongue forage through those clean shaven folds as Mistress's head lolled back against the door, lost in her own pleasure.

But just as things were reaching the appropriate crescendo of delight....there was a soft but distinctive knock on the door....."

Mistress was startled, but Slave kept at it knowing that she was just there, on the edge.... and sure enough, her hips were soon bucking against my face as she tipped over, a muffled moan seeping from her lips.

"Was that a knock, she whispered?"

I nodded, then switching to my work place officious tone....

"Just a minute...."

I indicated that Mistress may want to reassemble her outfit, and as she slid back into her panties and rearranged her lovely dress into a format no quite as revealing, I slid the chair back into place and did my best to wipe any accumulated juices from my mouth.

Within seconds though I had the door opened, trying my best to make it seem that we had just been "conferring" in case it was a curious partner, or eager associate with an update to deliver.

Fortunately, it was just the mail guy, who was busy delivering my neighbor's mail as he waited for my door to pop open.

I let him hand it to me, so he didn't have to enter the office. Hopefully his senses were not so fine tuned to pick up the musky scents that no doubt were still wafting about following Mistress's stifled cum.

"That was a close one, Slave....."

"I just hope I made it worth your while, Mistress...."

She didn't seem to have any complaints on that score.

Switch Day Interruptus

Mistress and Slave were engaged in full switch day rituals here in our empty (if only for the weekend) nest. Her wrists were bound to the corners of the bed with those red leather cuffs. Her ankles were spread as well, using soft beach towel strips.

There was kanoodling, stroking, and even a little spanking as I "coerced" from her the naughty details of her Friday night sex marathon with a lover who shall not be named.

"Haven't we been through all this before, Slave?"

"What sort of interrogator settles for the first version of some sordid story, Mistress?"

Ultimately I deployed her favorite power tool - which apparently had been utilized in the wee hours here Saturday morning - to tease, frustrate, and ultimately provide he with the cum she seemed so desperate for that I had her begging.

Now it was time for Slave to "cash in", and I was working on a from the rear entry when her I-phone rang.

Damn.

Normally this rude interruption would be ignored, but with two daughters on the road - one at some crazy music festival, fatherly duty prevailed to make sure all were safe.

But....it was our Western Correspondent.... the WC.... who we'd not heard from in weeks due to some health problems. I wasn't inclined to blow him off, so I picked up, and even untied Mistress so she could talk to him.

"Slave's got me all tied up for switch day, Mike."

It seems he is home, not completely well, but hopefully on the mend. We hope he'll be back to full strength soon. The lubricant industry is counting on him to hit their ambitious annual sales targets for the year!

By now, my work-a-day cock was hardly of much use, so I rebound Mistress's wrists - this time in front - and compelled her to use her considerable oral skills to restore to its former glory. Soon I was back in action, this time plowing forward from above when.... you guessed it.... the phone rang again.

This time it was music fest girl.... was there some emergency that had her up before noon? We had to check.

"Can you buy me an I-phone charger today.... mine broke...."



Uhhh..... no.  No shopping expeditions planned for electronica this Sunday.



"Just stop at  a truck stop in the drive home.... they are fully stocked."




With this "emergency" handled, Slave as once again less than fully armed to resume the task at hand.




Luckily, Mistress was in no position to deny me the stimulative attention of her lush mouth one more time. And there were no more interruptions before I was .... finally..... granted permission to bring this oft interrupted mission to its fitting end.

At least I got the merit badge for persistence!