Mick and Molly on Dining Out Etiquette

We had an excellent day here in our hideaway. Work chores had subsided, and after our "wake-up" sex we ventured out with a back-pack and some packed lunches to enjoy our environs - a hike to a local waterfall up in the mountains behind us, and then some "beach time" sunning and reading in the Rio Grande gorge. Mick even soaked his aching bones (from all the bike riding this week) in a toasty natural hot springs that you can see Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda frolicking in with some hippie chicks if you have an old copy of Easy Rider around.

After a nap and some pre-dinner sex back in the UCTMW branch office, we headed to dinner at a new restaurant up in the hills a few miles from here, tucked into an old adobe building along a creek that a young couple had recently renovated. It's past tourist season here, so when we arrived we discovered only another table of diners in this cozy dinging room. They appeared to be an older lady (maybe in her mid-60's), her somewhat older husband, their daughter and another man, who may or may not have been the son-in-law.

Now oddly enough I had gotten an email I perused from Zagat.com earlier in the day setting out some obvious rules on "dining etiquette" when out at a "fine dining" restaurant. Here is a link.

One of the "rules" had something to do with table talk:

"With restaurants packing people together like sardines, it's inevitable that diners are going to overhear snippets of conversations from neighboring tables, so when you're rubbing elbows with the table next to you, keep it clean!" The advice was to avoid subjects like medical procedures and potty training....

So maybe my antenna were a little too highly tuned.  But it was a small room, and maybe voices carried against the hard adobe walls and rock floors. Or maybe Mistress and Slave are just too nosy, but....

We ordered and were digging into the tasty smoked trout appetizer when we overheard the older lady launch into a story from her husband's days as a high school basketball coach:

"There was this one player.... well he was really 'well endowed' if you get me, and one day, during a game all that equipment just .... popped out..... you should have seen all the jaws drop."

At about that point, both of our jaws dropped.

But the subject did not then change to who won the big game. No, the focus remained on what grammy kept describing as this player's "enormous dong."

She repeatedly came back to the underutilized resource angle here: what a waste it was that this man, as he grew older, lived with his mother.

"I mean why keep that thing to yourself....."

At that point Mistress whispered to me: "Well, at least the WC did not withhold his special occasion cock from the world like this sap. "

One of the men, using a softer tone, must have said something about not really paying attention to  such things, but she would have none of it.

"Oh, I've heard  you guys say there's some sort of 'code' where you don't look at each others cocks in the locker room, or when you take a pee, but I don't believe it, don't you want to know what the competition has going for it?"

Apparently to prove this point, she launched into a story about a girl in her high school class who, compared to her "dinky" breasts, had some ginormous "tits". There was a description of a shower sequence where our raconteur could not take her eyes of those "glistening boobs."

Dinner was lovely, and Mistress and Slave attempted to have a quiet and less provocative conversation, but it was hard not to listen in to the randy older lady next to us. At some point Mistress's ears picked up when she went on to describe the perils of a botched circumcision to a young man's love life.

"Ohhh.... do you think she's Jewish, Slave....."

"Not necessarily, Mistress."

As dinner concluded over some lovely home made blueberry ice cream, the conversation switched to politics, something Slave feels a bit more comfortable talking about in public. After I paid the check and Mistress slid off to the Loo, I stood to stretch my legs, and stepped over to share an opinion, affirming a bit of what I had heard as they laid into Mitt and his frat boy running mate.

The lady seemed a little concerned at first.

"Oh, good.... I was afraid you were going to give us some abuse and call us a bunch of crazy socialists."

"No.... "I said, as Mistress and I stepped away, " but we did find all those penis stories pretty amusing...."

But she was unrepentant.

"Oh dear.... did we spend too much time on dongs?"

Who are we to judge. Maybe I need a "Mick Collins / UCTMW" business card to share on such occasions.

Tackling Some Field Slave Duties

In between some office related tasks, our two a day sex regimen, and a bracing bike ride in a chilly wind that whipped up from the north, Slave took on some yard work yesterday.

Our "grounds" are a little wild here. Clumps of alfalfa popping up that the horse next door likes to poach. A smattering of prairie dog compounds that I have made a little less hospitable this week, and a big stand of red willow that seems to spread a little closer to our house every year. Despite the dry climate, trees and shrubs just keep growing. So every now and then Slave needs to get out my saw and pruners and wack them back. (No, please don't confuse me with Dubya. It's not exactly "clearing brush".)

I think Mistress thought I was a chewing some loco weed when I took my saw to a tree limb abutting our patio. She let me know yesterday that one of my more annoying habits is that I can get a little carried away with the task at hand and be oblivious to it's potential impact on others. And she seemed a little startled when the sucker finally came crashing down.

But in my defense, I want to point out that unlike the lumberjack wannabes over at All Mine, I did not have to make an emergency room run after this task was completed. I made sure that I was in the right location when it came time to yell "timberrrrrr".

Further, I had enough good sense to eyeball this tree's length and know that it would not even come close to disturbing Mistress in repose:

Cheating?

It was an unusually Irish like day here in the Southwest yesterday. And maybe the timing was good. Mistress had some lengthy conference calls, and Slave had some work to do as well. But we did fit in some nice wake up sex here at 7800 ft., and squeezed in a nice vigorous bike ride in a fine high altitude mist. This morning I'm hoping for some clearer skies to see if the mountain tops acquired any snow overnight.

Last night we went to a local bar / restaurant to hear one of our local favorites perform with some friends - doing his piano man routine with a little John Lennon tossed into the mix. No matter the weather or season, this lovely old adobe building always seems packed on Wednesday night when our friend Jimmy is playing. And if you've been lucky to acquire a four-top, as we were last night, it's likely the hostess will do some "match making" and seat another couple with you.

Sure enough, after we started our dinner we were joined by a couple relatively new to town. He's a 39 yr. old art dealer. She's a 25 yr. old biologist. When I did the mental math, I realized the age gap was almost exactly like the years separating  Mick and Molly.

And between songs we picked up the back story: they had met at a local bar a few months back. He had just moved here. She was just passing through on her way to Kansas City to start a job with a consulting firm.

Sparks flew that night. And somehow, withing a few weeks (she had to retrieve her dog) she was back here, moving in with him, looking for a new job in this rather backwater but beautiful community. 

It reminded me a little of the lightening that struck when Molly and I met, more than 24 years ago. But sadly, we were encumbered: both married, me with two kids, etc.

I told the young lady that she was lucky to have the freedom to follow her dreams and heart when that lightening bolt struck. If they're very lucky, they may be here and happy together 24 years from now, the way Mistress and her devoted Slave are. Though we sure wish we could find the means and moxie to be here in the shadow of the Sangre de Christo Mountains full time, rather than back working in River City.

But of course, we plan to continue making the best of our adventures, no matter where we call home.

Now.... on a completely different subject, as folks who have used Ashley Madison in the past to help Mistress acquire her lover J, we found the attached article about the billboard below more than amusing:

Of course, as far as we are concerned, cuckolding is not cheating, is it? Plus, we have nothing to hide in our tax returns.

Where's Molly?

Mistress and Slave have been enjoying out week away. Though there has been time spent working "remotely" (does that mean disengaged, or away from the office, or both?), we've had plenty of time for sex, bike riding,  sex, listening to local music, and more sex here at our Mountain hideaway. And the sun has allowed Mistress plenty of time for her favorite passtime: sunbathing naked while reading a book.

She's also tried to keep in touch with J, who no doubt is missing having her a little closer at hand. I tried to help the other day by surreptitiously texting him a photo of his "fuck buddy" as she lay naked out on our patio, the sun dappled mountains forming a scenic background.

"He says I must be a nudist, Slave...."

The photo above shows Mistress talking to J on her cell yesterday afternoon, right before we headed for a bike ride along a trail that borders the Rio Grande gorge.

We do love the folksy quirks of the local culture and habits out here, which are so different from the "stick up our asses" mindset of River City and its environs. The other night we were at a local music festival featuring various forms of "Americana" music - a swirl of folk, country, rock and swing that seems timeless and well suited for dusty trails, big sky and craggy mountains.

During a break a local "celebrity" known as "Mattress Mary" (I know, she sounds like a woman of ill repute from South Pacific, but she actually runs a bedding and mattress store; she also reviews films on the local radio station) took the stage to ask help finding her dog "Molly". She reminded us that this particular black Lab appears in her billboards and print ads. The dog was boarded at a nearby ranch when she went on a recent trip, and somehow wandered off.  She assumes a good Samaritan may have taken in Molly, and wanted to spread to word that Molly's owner wants her back. Last night, when I took Mistress out for her favorite local cuisine - spelt crust pizza smeared with goat cheese - we saw this poster as part of Mattress Mary's campaign to reclaim Molly:

I'm just using my vast sex-blogging audience to spread the word: Help find Molly!

Let's hope he didn't encounter one of those bears lurking about.