Thursday, November 17, 2011

HNT/ New Computer and Old Sex-tibles.

Yesterday morning, Mistress was pulling on those special peek-a-boo tights (after our wake-up sex and shower) and Slave picked up his camera. But before I could snap a shot showing that clever access providing aperture, she picked up her new laptop (the one she and Francois picked up at the "black market") to answer some work emails.  She is a busy Mistress!


But I think it still turned out to be a pretty hot photo to share with our dozens of discerning readers. (actually we are back up to about 1000 page views a day, so it didn't take long for folks to realize we are back from blogger exile.)


Earlier this week, Miss Behavior asked whether we had acquired any exotic sex toys while in Yak-it-Stan on the Lam. Unfortunately, we did not have enough time for any real shopping at the 2nd hand stores, but the question got our Senior Correspondent doing a little research, and she came up with these ideas for stocking the Yurt for the next sex blogger who needs to hide out for a while. Here is her report:


The world’s oldest dildo.
It’s a strapping, 6 inch, stone-carved, black penis made out of delicious, hard antler bone…

 
It was during the Jin and Song Dynasties of China (800 BP) that the penis or "cock" ring became a popular bedroom accessory across Asia.  ("Cock" derived from the erect, strutting behavior of a red-headed rooster.)  Documents from the period describe the first rin

gs as being made from the eyelids of goats–with the lashes still intact.  The eyelid rings are said to have been tied around a man’s erection, with the hardened lashes intended to add additional stimulation for the woman during thrusting. 
By 400 BP, penis rings were being carved from ivory and were used primarily to help men maintain erections longer.  Over the next few centuries, little nubs were added to the ring to act as clitoris stimulators–giving both partners enhanced pleasure and presumably, better orgasms.  Penis rings later became status symbols throughout China, with wealthy and prominent men opting for rare and exotic materials to encircle and draw attention to their members.





Linguistically derived from the Greek term "oblisbo" (in Latin, "to open wide,") dildos were commonly made of wood or leather, with diaries from the period explaining that liberal amounts of olive oil were needed for easy insertion.  (But considering the number of such tools that have survived, lack of refinement didn’t seem to prevent their regular and wide-spread use!)                                                                                                                            


In 1869 the first vaginal vibrator was introduced.  Developed by an American physician, George Taylor, it was a large and cumbersome steam-powered apparatus [pictured below] which made a lot of noise and often malfunctioned at inopportune times.  (Not unlike the batteries going dead in a modern "personal massager" while in mid stroke!)   It was prescribed for women who were clinically diagnosed with a disorder called, "female hysteria," whose symptoms included anxiety, irritability, "pelvic heaviness," and excessive vaginal wetness–a condition for which doctors had initially hand-manipulated women vaginas (masturbated them to orgasm).  This simulated intercourse device was seen as a far more efficient method than manual manipulation as "hysteria" was known to be a recurring condition and "proper" women of the era did not masturbate themselves.  It should be noted that this devise was made available to the public during the Victorian Era, an ultra-conservative period of American history, during which rubber dildos and butt plugs were also introduced.

Back to the misunderstood dildo. Early toys, in many parts of the Mid-eastern world consisted of dried camel dung coated with a hard resin, served their purpose. It would seem that this early dildo might have had a few definite drawbacks though. The smell for one. Can you imagine? The resin may have served to block the odor, but it certainly could not have eliminated it. Unless of course camel dung when dried did not retain its aroma. I suppose it is entirely possible that the hot dry desert climes may have dried it to potential marble-like hardness.

Model of a phallus from a phallic cult. Iron Age II A  Israel Museum(IDAM), Jerusalem, Israel

My guess is that if we had poked around some antique stores, we could have found one of these molded from Yak dung for our collection. Dang.




Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Skip the Dinner....

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Indulgent Mistress

Molly and Mick returned from that strange land somewhere in North Asia, where Yak and Man live as one, just in time for what appears to be an unscheduled monsoon season here in River City.

To make things worse, poor Mistress had to drive with a colleague all the way to our state's north coast and back again - leaving at around 7 am and not returning until after 10 pm. The last 3 hours of her trip must have been particularly exhausting because the rain and lightening slowed traffic to a crawl. When she called at around 8, I suggested that they might want to stop and spend the night, but the two ladies soldiered on through the storm.

I had been able to fit a little worship in at around 6:45 that morning, just before Mistress slid into her black undies and tights, but there was no time for our typical wake up sex. Fortunately, because it was my birthday, Mistress elected to give me a pass on the cage. 

She is pretty indulgent, don't you think.

I had a full work day myself, and stayed at the office a little alter than normal. I was in no rush to get home to my empty house.

Now, I have to confess I was a little horny as the evening progressed. I distracted myself watching the political follies on MSNBC and the Penn State follies on CNN -- obviously our Nation did not discover its sanity in our 30 day's  on the Lam. But in an earlier life, it certainly would have been tempting to take matters into my own hand, if only as an alternative to watching Herman Cain stumble over all those things "twirling around" in his head, trying to remember if Col. Ghadaffi was a good guy or not.

But I'm so well trained these days that I didn't even think about violating Mistress's "no touch" rule.

When she finally got home, I could tell she was both stressed and exhausted. I encouraged her to dump the work cloths and slide into bed, without a thought that we would engage in any hanky panky until morning.

Now, of course, I did offer to worship. She demurred until she could relax a bit, checking up on what she had missed on facebook during the day.  But after about 20 minutes, she consented.

I slid down between her thighs, and used my lips and tongue on those flavorful clean shaven folds to provide what I hoped would be the type of cum that would allow her to discharge the stress of the workday, and the long drive in the rain, and relax into a good night's sleep.

But when I was done, she surprised me.  "Don't  you want to fuck me now , Slave?"

I was surprised. She seemed exhausted. And I suspect she might have had a sense of Birthday obligation about it. So I offered to wait until morning. But she insisted, even instructing me to insert my device --- the aneros.

"I want that particularly hard cock tonight, Slave...."

Who was I to disobey a direct order?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Back for Our Blogiversary....

Molly and Mick are back.... right here in good old River City. After a month on the proverbial lam (check out the adventures of "Simone and Sam" over the last month at Mistress and Slave on the Lam), we figured the "security breach" that led us to close things down here in a bit of a panic has been mitigated. Hopefully we are right about that....

And it happens that today is the 2nd Anniversary of UCTMW. Two years, nearly 800 posts, and lots of prurient adventures for Molly, Mick and some of our collected friends.  I've played with our cover page here, allowing you to find some of our most popular posts, and added Francois to our burgeoning global staff.

So now that we've been evacuated from On-the-Lam-It-Stan, it's back to the more mundane activities that characterize our work-a-day lives.

As for yesterday.... well, it took more than a few tours through the showers to scour away the fragrant scent of smoldering Yak dung that we brought back home with us. It's nice to be in a place where we heat with natural gas, despite the impact on global warming.

Slave and Mistress had to put a hold on our typical switch activities because our little Co-ed was here to welcome us home, and also go to the big River City football game with me and two of my friends.

Bur rest assured that we got it on here in more traditional style. I even deployed Mistress's favorite power tool to make sure we replicated as best as possible that switch day atmosphere at the UCTMW World HQ. In return, Mistress taunted her work-a-day cock to a fine state of frenzy with those lush lips before she allowed me to fuck her.

Things were surprisingly unchanged despite our month long absence... the leaves still needed to be raked, the kittens were still "cute", and the outcome of the big game was all too familiar, though the local pussycats did show that they belonged on the same field as last year's Super Bowl team. Around here we call that progress.

During our absence, Mistress started a new job. It's a great new challenge and opportunity for her. But it's been taking up more time than she would like, and has cut into those office worship visits. Maybe I will need to visit her more if she can find a little private space at this modern open floor plan office she now calls home.

Of course, it's also gotten colder here, kicking off "tights season". ANd you know what that does for this Slave.

Sadly, Mistress is up too early today. She's driving to our State's "North Coast" with a colleague, and needs to leave way too early. That probably puts the kabosh on wake-up sex.... but hopefully she will have time for a little pre-drive worship.

To tie up one loose end.... Sin and Aisha asked what will happen to that heard of loyal Yaks who served us so well when we were in hiding in that lovely Yurt.  Fortunately, we've found a home for them at a local farm. What's great about that is that if the WC ever does make arrangements to come visit and deploy his special occasion cock with our CEO, we can arrange a conjugal visit with the Yaks too.  They've missed him ever since he bedded down with them in the Yak shed a few weeks ago!