Our Senior Correspondent on Jealousy and Open Relationships

There is much being written on blogs lately concerning a committed partner having sexual BDSM play and/or intercourse with someone other than their partner. I have an open BDSM marriage, so I decided to weigh in. But first, a short little rant. 

For a few out there, as soon as this topic arises, the vocabulary suddenly includes pejoratives, slurs, and words with negative connotations. Frankly, I am a bit surprised by that. Those very same people would be first in line to correct someone who used a slur of any sort to describe a homosexual, lesbian, someone who enjoyed nipple clamps, the giving or receiving of a whipping, the use of sex toys and dildos, on-line BDSM Dom/sub searches or the use of a webcam in a sexual relationship. How is an open relationship, whether cuckolding or not, so different? This is simply another sexual leaning, a preference, a kink.

End of rant and on to my post about our open BDSM marriage.

As Bill was getting ready to leave on a group camping trip for a convention of tree huggers last week, I gave him a good-bye kiss and asked whether he had remembered to pack his flashlight, toilet paper, coffee pot, tent stakes, lube and condoms. Ordinarily I am the person who packs things, but Bill had finished up his packing while I was working on something else and I didn’t want him to forget anything he might need. And yes, even without me along on the camping trip he might need the lube and condoms.

Bill has been working on several projects and presentations with a woman in the camping group, and I know he finds her to be attractive both physically and intellectually. I also know that she has been skirting around the edges of her physical attraction to him. She is a submissive, without a Dom for the last few years, and soon after I met her I could tell she could really use that sort of settling that Bill does so well.  She is not married, she has no children and her job would not be at risk if she and Bill were to be sexually involved over the four day camp. I had read the emails she had sent to Bill, and had spoken with her on the phone just the previous day. She is a sweet person, not looking for a life mate, simply looking for a bit of time with a solid and safe Dom without all the drama of trying to sort through those on-line.

As things turned out, they didn’t get together. While they were certainly busy with meetings, training sessions, presentations, tree sitting and hiking, I suspect the lack of shower facilities in the 90+ degree heat and the hand dug outdoor latrines (that Bill helped shovel out) may have played a part in tamping down thoughts of play and sex. It’s a bit hard to feel really refreshed and sexy when baby wipes are the only available means of washing up. I imagine they will get together before long. She is a wonderful woman with a submissive need, and I have every hope Bill can help her. The bonus for me is that I find it to be a huge turn-on that my Dom is such a stud and that he is so good with submissives. He shares all that happens, and listening to him tell me how things unfolded as he slowly draws circles around my nipples and then repeats with me physically what he did with someone else, is hot and steamy and always ends in powerful orgasms for us both.

Flipping over to things going on with me, I am going to a special place for some submissive training in a few weeks. I will be going alone. There are some things Bill and I both want me to work on with the trainers there. I am over the moon with excitement that I have this opportunity and Bill has been awaiting my chance to get together with these wonderful people with almost as much anticipation as I have. There will be sexual explorations during my time there, and Bill is absolutely okay with that. He is anxious to hear how things go and has made clear to all involved that he would like to be called if there are any problems at all, but other than that, he wants me to have a wonderful time and experience as much as I possibly can.

You may notice that a commonality in those two situations is that we each know what the other is doing. Bill has read all the emails from my trainers and I have read all of his emails from the woman I spoke of earlier. He knows exactly where I will be and who I will be with and they know him, just as I knew about the woman on the camping trip. If either of us felt at all uneasy, we would stop immediately. There is a safe word for either of us to use in just that situation, but we have never felt the need to use it. Our rules revolve around honesty with one another and safety, both physically and psychologically. And those rules are very firm.

The big fear that some have expressed to me is that their partner might find someone else they like better and leave them.  Yes, that could happen, or your partner might find someone she/he likes better at the grocery store or the gym. If you live with that fear then, quite simply, this isn’t your kink.

Do we have sex with new people all the time? No, absolutely not. We have gone for years at a time without anyone new joining us. When the person, the time and the circumstances are right, we know and they know.

Maybe it was our work or maybe it was our childhood years, but we both learned early on that life is short and that things can change forever in the blink of an eye. We choose to live deeply in love, accepting who we are  and enjoying our kinks.

Thanks,
Donna

A Word from UCTMW Human Resources

From: Mick Collins, Director of Human Resources

To: UCTMW Staff, World Wide.

RE: UCTMW Equal Opportunity Policy.

Our CEO has asked me to remind all of our staff members, from the lowly mail room attendant (sometimes me) to our various far flung correspondents that UCTMW remains an equal employment opportunity media empire, and aspires to the highest standards when it comes to creating a workplace free of unlawful (or even mildly unpleasant) discrimination based on the widely recognized protected classifications, and even a  few that we’ve made up, often without notice to the rest of you.

Here is our policy, in case you need to refresh yourselves after a long evening of “research”:

“UCTMW strives to create a workplace that is free from discrimination and harassment and treats all employees equally. We go so far as to give each of our employees the same compensation and benefit package no matter how lofty or insignificant their spot in the corporate pecking order may be.

We do not discriminate, nor will we tolerate discrimination, based upon race, gender, religion, national origin, age, disability, educational attainment, kink, sexual orientation, physical appearance, work ethic, accent, preference for snow boarding vs. alpine skiing, or white vs. red wine, eye color, garb (with the exception of madras shorts worn by males), fetish, or political affiliation (other than members of the Tea Party).

Our policy not only assures non-discrimination in hiring, promotion and compensation and the abuse of lavish expense accounts, but also protects our staff from harassment based upon any of the above listed classifications or characteristics.

There are two types of harassment we prohibit.

“Quid pro Quo” harassment would be when the CEO says, “if you do a particularly fine job of worshiping my clean shaven folds, there’s a good chance you I can find a replacement for you in the male room, and I will promote you to my personal assistant and traveling secretary”.

(Oops. I forgot, Mistress edited out that part of our policy when we last re-wrote the Employee Handbook. That type of harassment is no longer prohibited.)

We also prohibit “hostile environment” harassment. That’s the kind where conduct of a verbal or physical nature that is “unwelcome” makes an employee or customer uncomfortable, and is based on one of the characteristics listed above.

Of course, “unwelcome” is the key. When the CEO tells me I need to wear a cock cage if we aren’t going to be in close proximity during the day, it’s based on my gender. Only guys have cocks, right? But then, since I’ve agreed to this form of “mistreatment” in my contract, it’s hard to say that wearing that cock cage would be unwelcome. (Unless I had a really good lawyer, and the jury was all male, that is.)

What brings this reminder to the fore?

Well, yesterday we had some salty comments here at UCTMW about the national origin of an emerging member of our team here. A certain “Francois”.

Another staff member called him out as swaggering Euro-trash, based on a comment reported here yesterday that Most American men would not know how to handle our beautiful, smart and oh so sumptuous CEO.

Now I for one do not know whether Francois would consider this comment “unwelcome”. In fact, when Molly asked him whether he minded being portrayed on these pages, the response was something like.

“Sure…. Maybe I will come off like swaggering Euro-trash. Go for it!”

And it could be that his own characterization of American guys as cowering, flaccid and unconfident wimps who don’t know how to properly give American woman what they really want, deep down inside, is a stereotype too.

I suppose that is for Mistress and the rest of our readers to comment on, and is out of the limited expertise of this pampered house Slave.

Now, back to our regular programming.  Did you think I forgot about HNT?

Drive-By-Dom

Unlike the new NFL Players Collective Bargaining Contract, mine does not prohibit “two-a-days”.  And, in fact, with the teens off to their new endeavors, it seems that has become the rule of thumb here at the UCTMW World HQ.

 

Morning sex has always been part of our game plan – unless there is some reason for an unusually early exit to get to work or the airport. And of course Mistress enjoys her “morning cock”,  particularly when the hard steel ring for my cock cage is firmly in place.

And with a little less time required to prepare meals and nag teens to do their homework, there is all the more time in the evening for the proper use of Mistress’s cock.

Yesterday evening there was even a little extra accelerant for some post-work maneuvers in Mistress’s executive suite.

She had a late afternoon visit from her new “Dom”, Francois.

What’s nice about the empty nest is that there’s no reason Mistress can’t entertain “guests”. So Francois stopped by for a little iced tea and some conversation.

(Mistress has directed me to keep a little veil of privacy down about whatever else might be happening between them, and her wish is my command on that front).

“He couldn’t stay very long, Slave… he had some personal business of his own to take care of….”

Understandable. But he does show signs of showing Mistress the sort of extra attention that she certainly deserves.

“So what did you talk about, Mistress?”

“Oh, we covered lots of things…. I didn’t know, for example, that he used to be a professional cyclist.”

“Impressive, Mistress.”

“And we talked about how hard it was for me to find a proper Dom”.

“Did he have any theories?”

“He says I’m way too intimidating for most American guys…. They wouldn’t know what to do with me….”

“I definitely buy that theory….”

By now I was experiencing a certain degree of pain below the belt.

“Would you consider unlocking the cage, Mistress?”

“Ohh… my poor Slave…. is this uncomfortable for you?”

(Did I mention that when I got home she was wearing a black tank top. And nothing else.  The site of her clean shaven folds may have contributed to my discomfort).

Soon we were in bed. (Actually, Mistress was in bed, and I was on my knees.)Slave was grazing. And when I made sure that Mistress had a suitable orgasm, she was kind enough to free her cock.

At that point, our bike ride was put on hold for about an hour as we resorted to more amorous forms of exercise.

I wonder if the “drive by Dom” will stop by again today?

Out-Takes

One cheap and easy way to fill up a Tuesday morning blog is with some leftover switch day shots of my beloved Mistress. 

With our “overtime” activities here on Tuesday morning, “defiling” our far away teen’s room and bed, as Mistress put it, I had plenty of opportunity for photo-op breaks, and it seems unfair not to share them with you all, doesn’t it?

In the meantime, Slave is getting re-accustomed to the daily cage routine. Up in the am early for blogging, I’ve remembered to grab the steel ring that anchor the cage. While my coffee is brewing, I get to work smushing my balls and then my cock through the tight steel band.

Ouch.

At least it’s easier on a warm summer morning than in the cold of winter. (I think our male readers will understand why).

And then, when I go upstairs, Mistress gropes a bit, to make sure the ring is in place, and will help deliver a particularly hard cock for our morning wake-up sex.

Yesterday, after she closed the lock to secure her cock, I was off to work, and Mistress had some meetings of her own to attend.

But fortunately, she was downtown later in the afternoon and stopped by for a  little worship. Having the taste of those addictive juices on my mouth and cheeks for the rest of the afternoon certainly made me look forward to the end of the workday, when I might get sprung loose from that cage if Mistress was in an indulgent mood.

AS it turned out, she was, though there was another round of worship before the key came out.

We went for a bike ride. Mistress took 30 minutes of lap time at the neighborhood pool, and then it was home where Slave grilled some trout for our later than usual dinner together. (It’s so very nice not to have sullen teens nagging “what’s for dinner… and complaining when the answer is “fish”).

Over dinner we discussed the comments that Suffolk.sinner made questioning this whole cuckold thing. He seems focused on the old goosey / gander rule. If Mistress gets to “fool around”, shouldn’t her Slave?  Of course, this ignores the whole D/s power dynamic.

Mistress expresses a little disbelief from time to time, that there aren’t any other women who attract my eye. And of course, if I see an attractive woman on the street, or at a social event, even Slave can’t resist a visual appreciation.

But do I want to do anything about it?

Absolutely not.

Mistress brought this topic up with Francois, who discussed it with her yesterday.

“He says the cuckold mentality means that when I “stray” and tell you about it, you will be even more devoted to me, and even less inclined to cheat  … is that right?”

“He seems to  get it, Mistress….”

Of course, if Mistress required me to serve one of her friends, like Suzanne has arranged for Tammy from time to time, over at All Mine, well that would be a different story, wouldn’t it?

I live to serve.