It seems that our little experiment with CollarMe.com has played it self out. The emails volume has diminished now that the “fresh meat” label seems to have worn off the modest posting, which simply refers “shoppers” to the UCTMW website for a description of our interests and background.
Of course, this was only a “dabble”. Mistress remains quite taken by the charms and well advertised talents of our Western Correspondent, though I think she enjoyed his apparent concern about where all this was headed. And she can get a little frustrated about the prospects of ever getting some first hand experience with his “special occasion cock”, which can sometimes bring to mind the last passage of the Great Gatsby. You know, the bit about the “American Dream” that recedes before us, always slightly out of reach.
At some point, let’s hope Mistress does get her fill.
But, like Aisha and SFP, it’s hard not to share a few of the more ham handed approaches by those trying to take up the tough task of breaking Mistress to their will.
Of course, I like to think Mistress has high standards. And basic grammar skills seem critical to her. Quite a few of the applicants seemed to fall far below that threshold. Starting with the inability to spell out “you”, when a simple “u” was so much more direct. As in “Do U chat on Yahoo”, from some dude in LA.
Of course, there are also certain dimensional issues that Mistress considers deal breakers. Why were so many of these would be Doms shorter than her? Not that Mistress, at about 5’6”, is an Amazon. But she had trouble with the concept of towering over her Dom.
Facial hair seems to be a big thing to in the CollarMe.com world. And Mistress can see her way around a neatly trimmed Moustache or beard on the "right" face. (The WC has been known to sport one). But what’s with these scraggly beards, and the guy with the little pointy chin beard and muscle shirt. Colonel Sanders meets the Fonz! Not her thing.
Mistress just giggled.
Some also had technological challenges. The link didn’t work. They had to be told how to google “Under Contract for My Wife”. And there was one guy from a nearby City who seemed convinced that he had to sign up to be a member simply to read our adventures. “Can you give me a hint?”, he asked.
Uhhh. No.
Geography was a challenge for some of these fellows. One asked if we were interested in relocating to the Boston area to serve him. Sorry, Pal. Thanks for the offer, but you could never make me a Patriots fan.
And some guys seem just plain confused. When it was pointed out that we were not interested in a bisexual experience, a local applicant denied that he was, even though the mini-profile attached to his email continued to insist otherwise.
But I could tell that the “pool” had been exhausted when we received for the 2nd time what appeared to be an identical email from a guy on the East Coast. I will repeat it here only because it has a certain primal charm that some of you might appreciate:
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OK…. This gets poor grades for grammar and spelling.
But I must confess the scenario has a certain visceral appeal to old Mick. And I suspect with the right person in the role of the Dom, that Mistress would be more than happy to play her well satisfied role in this little drama.
I am curious to find out what she thinks when I go wake her up now.
O, my - that's a pretty intense fantasy - I think East Coast guy needs to get his own blog! Funny that he sent it twice.
ReplyDeleteGlad you guys are having fun. I didn't post any funny stories today - maybe tomorrow...
aisha
well mouse's comments would echo aisha's almost word for word. Except nothing funny (or fun) going on here.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
How can your Mistress hope to find anyone when she sets such high standards? Perhaps it would save time were she to post that old Latin favorite from high school: Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? (very loose English translation: Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?) If a potential candidate knows what it means they are either somewhat familiar with Latin or they can use a search engine. Win-win?
ReplyDeleteBill and Donna
frankly, Mick. i am shocked.
ReplyDeleteabsolutely shocked.
hmmmmm
Not a Patriots Fan?
Could never BECOME a Pat's fan?
Sheesh.
Mistress?
may i borrow that shoe horn.....
(arms crosssed foot tapping)
(scowling)
nilla
*ARDENT* Patriots fan
Well I will leave you and Suzanne to your Pats. and I must say they are hardly my least favorite team - that would be your Stillers. But it's hard to get warm and cozy with the Hoody Guy. and the Pats are sort of the NFL equivalent of the Yankees these days.
ReplyDeletethat said....they do seem destined for another trip to the Super Bowl.
Nilla....I love you!
ReplyDeleteKeep that foot tapping before Rex Ryan starts to suck on your toes!
Hope you are correct Mick!