HNT / Crack That Whip

Lots of things to share with our devoted readers, who I expect turn to this page first thing every morning to find out what's really happening in the world of sex, sports, and personal grooming.

First off, I had promised to share some photos of Mistress's V-Day gift, which she has taken a shine too.... Other than when she's suited up for work or the gym, it seems she has been in this silky confection all week. I do like the way you can see her tasty little nubs poking through the front. Don't you?

In addition, I thought I would share this story reporting on the Twelve Most Sexually Satisfied Countries in the World. I must say I was a little surprised to see Switzerland at the top of the list. We traveled there once, and it seemed like a very uptight group. But then it's also a pretty prosperous place, giving them the leisure time to pursue more carnal objectives.  You have to admit that Roger Federer sure looks like he's never had a problem scoring, on or off the court.

Not particularly surprising to me was the absence of the USA, Canada, Ireland,  England and Russia from the list. I guess those are the up tight countries?  Another way to look at it: If your country's team made the semi-final in Men's or Women's hockey at the Sochi Olympics, the odds are you've not been getting your fair share of nooky.  I would enjoy hearing from our readers who live in nation's that did not make the list what they will be doing in the coming year to pick up the slack.

Finally, speaking of Russia, I am sure all of you heard about the shocking incident in Sochi yesterday when roving Cossacks deployed horse whips on members of the band Pussy Riot , who had assembled in their tight dresses and ski masks to sing a tune that poked a little fun at Dear Leader Putin. Here is one link with some video: Cossacks Whip Pussy Riot Maybe they were still cranky about their Hockey team falling to the mighty Finns?

So the post- Communist Russians have revived the Cossack tradition, the guys who were Czarist heavies best known for the Pogroms that burned Jewish villages back in the day? In this country it would be like letting the KKK provide extra security at the Alabama / Auburn game.

(I hear some of you saying: "You mean they don't do that down there?)

When this news broke, I immediately got on the gonzo-wire and asked our Man in Sochi to untangle himself from the Geishas and hit the streets to provide some in depth analysis from his unique perspective:

(Sochi) Cossacks???????

Cossacks???????

WTF is going on around here!!!

Well the big story around the Olympic village is

Cossacks whip Pussy......................... Riot

What is this, one of Donna, Sin or Nila's stories?

Seriously Cossacks?

I though they were all killed off 500 years ago!!

Nope the  reporters around here aren't buying it

Why those Cossacks didn't even have horses.....

Had to be fake Cossacks hired for a promotional stunt to promote Pussy Riot

That is one school  of thought here in the Olympic village among the jaded press corps

Course if you watch the video

Could be just a bunch of assholes dressed as Cossacks (sans horses) hired by Putin

Putin............ why didn't you pay a little  extra for horses, man????

Then you could have sold the story to Fox News 

My vote goes to the asshole theory

Course I knew this country is a few years behind the times

But 500 years??????????

Oh well I am happy to report that the Olympic village has not yet been sacked by Cossacks

If they come rest assured the WC has a foolproof escape plan.......

James Bond style

With Pussy Riot!

Oh well I still haven't made it up to the Alpine skiing venue to actually watch the races

Been too busy right here is Sochi

BTW

Shout out right here to the Japanese national Geisha girls team

GREAT JOB LAST NIGHT GEISHA GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nevetheless............. as the Seer of Sochi predicted 

Ted Liggety wins gold in the Grand Slalom

The Seer saw once again

Its just a gift I have

Oh well

Got to go my friends

Heard these alleged Cossacks are having a party

Got to go watch the hijinks  that ensue 

Your man is Sochi is going into the lions den

Mick 

SEND LAWYERS GUNS AND MONEY  if you don't hear from me......

The in danger's path 

Intrepid reporter always

WC

Thanks, WC. I am wondering if 'Nilla can come up with a story involving Cossacks and Horse Whips. (But please, no tentacles, unless they take some Cossack's ass!).

"A Frank and Open Dialog"

After wake up sex here at the UCTMW World HQ, Mistress and Slave headed over to our gym. Mistress did a spinning class, and Slave did his more solo work-out.  We met up in the lobby about 75 minutes later and as we stepped out into another snowy morning....

Mistress: "That's 7 days in a row of spinning, Slave...."

Slave: "Wow. Your legs must be feeling it...."

Mistress: "They are.... but they feel strong...."

Slave: "Strong and hot, Mistress. I bet you could squash my head like a walnut between those pwerful thighs if I failed to please you."

Mistress: "Then you'd better keep doing a good job, Slave."

I think that last part turned the head of the little old lady passing us on the sidewalk.

Our Western Correspondent Is Not Exactly a Good Luck Charm

Mistress and Slave extended their streak of twofers to a third day in a row here in our empty nest. Is it the endless snow that keeps falling here that makes us want to huddle under the sheets in Mistress's executive suite for shared bodily warmth? Or is it the continued romantic vibes that come with Valentine's Day? In any event, Mistress spent most of the day in the black silk nightie I got her for V Day, and Slave made sure it was put to good use.

Whatever it was that inspired us, we seem to have exceeded in just a few days what last Sunday's article on gender roles and marital sex said is the monthly quota for a sissy like me who helps with the cooking and the laundry. I guess I am one lucky Ol' Slave.

But one group that seems out of luck is the USA Olympic Team that our Western Correspondent was b touting a week ago. His heroes - Bode Miller, Julie Mancuso, Ted Ligety, Shaun White - are all underperforming on the slopes. Is the WC an American albatross, jinxing their performance? Even switching from their trendy new high speed suits did not seem to jumpstart the USA speed skaters, who seem about as quick on the track as my cranky Mom heading to the ladies room.

It's gotten to the point where the WC has been forced to whine about his generous pay, and cover Swedish Yogistas and Lebanese skiers in his in search for any uplifting good news in Sochi for our readers:

(SOCHI) Well I want to start off by thanking my friend Suzanne

She told the Plurocrat  Mick Collins to finally give me a raise

Haven't had one since I bought the little shack on the slopes of Vail

This guy is worse than Rupert!!!!

Why just yesterday he said he should have a vote for every dollar he pays in taxes

Shame on you Mick Collins!

Molly you should lock him up for a month 

Just on general principle .....

Well on to serious sports reporting,,,,

We will see if my little editorial comment survives the evil  editors pen

OMG!

The naked Swedish yoga workout was great!!

Hottest ticket in town

I had a perfect view 

Front row in the middle

From the rear!

My god those girls can really twist themselves into unusual positions

I have never seen bottoms spread so wide!

And labias too!!!!!

My sharp reporters instinct told me to ask them if they liked showing off

I asked the question because many of the wide open vagina's seamed wet to  my  poor old eyes

Oh yes they gushed 

Makes us very horney they said

Of course I did not bother to correct their English

Do I look stupid????????

Well I was just minding my own business in the back when a comely yoga girl came up and asked if she could do the upside down lotus while I put my finger up her ass

Ever the gentleman, I happily assisted her 

While she furiously rubbed her clit and gushed all over the place

Needless to say the poor old WC's cock was hard as a rock

But......

Then she just stood up 

And said thanks

THANKS I SAID?????

What about me???????????

She just walked off shaking her head

Americans !!!

The poor old WC was befuddled 

Well off to Japanese geisha girl party

I hear they treat American journalists better.....

Your hard working and under paid intrepid reporter 

WC

Well at least the poor Swedish yogistas did not persuade the WC to take off that cute black leotard.

Our Man in Sochi Goes Undercover for an Exclusive

Things worked out as planned here in River City for this crafty Slave. 

Mistress seemed surprised and pleased with the Valentine's Day gift bestowed upon her.... she may even pose for a little photo shoot later today!

As a result, Slave got "lucky" both before work, and later yesterday evening when I broke free from the office, and drove home in a snow storm to spend a romantic evening at home tending to her needs.


Of course, I probably would have gotten lucky without a suitable V Day gift, but it certainly didn't hurt.

But as the snow was falling here in the heartland (and on our snow bound friends from North Carolina to Massachusetts), it was melting in Sochi, where our Western Correspondent was running out of leads. Fortunately, I spotted this article (jacky-chamoun-a-lebanese-skier-deals-with-fallout-from-topless-photos/) in the Washington Post about a member of the Lebanese Ski team who had got her tits in a metaphorical  wringer about a nude video that popped up on you tube this week. 

Here's a link to the video: Jackie Chamoun

First, who knew they skied in Lebanon? When they slalom do they use land mines rather than gates? 

But I guess the story about a Lebanese skier taking it all off on the slopes is preferable to more Hezbollah Hijinks. 

I immediately got in touch with our intrepid reporter on the ground to see if he could get to the root of this breaking news. Here's what We got back from our Imbed in the Olympic Village:

Dateline Sochi.

Well my senior editor ordered me to interview a Lebanese skier named Jackie Chamoun

I dutifully complied 

WTF happened to the Burkas???????????

This chick likes to get naked outdoors all the time!

What a peach!

Being a gentalman I won't kiss and tell

But

I fucked the shit out of her on the luge run at 5 AM

These Ruskies don't lock anything!!!!

Her ass got pretty cold as she was on the bottom

But as I told her 

Just be glad you are not the top person on the doubles luge!!!

She thought that was pretty funny from an American 

Doesn't say much for my humor ..........

But a good time was had by all till a Russian Security guard named Ivon kicked us out

Oh well......

Mick your advise about the Vodka was right on

These Ruskies drink me under the table

I asked  my new friend Boris where the pot store was

He asked.... potinski store??????

We get sent to Siberia for potinski!!!!!!!!

Oh well behind the times as usual  

He sadly shook his head

"I am required to go to the figure skating event tonight" Boris told me

But figure skating sucks I said

"Lets go fuck some more Ex Burka girls" I complained 

No Miguel............ he said.......

"They need peeps in the seats"  he said

Well got to go my friends

Got an invite to the Swedish woman's olympic team nude yoga class

And i get to stand in the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your hard working reporter in Sochi

Miguel

Thanks Miguel. Glad to know you are willing to risk reoccurrence of frostbite for the Special Occasion Cock to get an exclusive.