On the Cock Shot....

Molly and Mick have a had a very hectic week, and things only get crazier until Sunday. Our sullen teen #1 graduates from high school tomorrow …. The “love child” of our life is more than ready to fly our River City coop … and its been a challenge getting our arms around it. Then of course, helping us do that tonight will be a gathering of 40 or so family and friends to share this transition for all of us.

I know, some of you out there are saying…. Hey Mick, where was our invitation? Aren’t we your family and friends too? And yes, you are. Wouldn’t it be great to have all of you here for an alternative celebration of our “alter egos”. Maybe we will schedule that when the nest really empties  out  in August. We will move the furniture around so that it has more the feel of the UCTMW World HQ than our charming home filled with the accumulated detritus of two teenagers yearning to break free of the magnetic pull of their overbearing and incredibly dull parents.

If only they new! (God, pleae hope they never figure it out).

Yesterday we got some “fan mail” from a reader to our email account, rather than as a comment on our blog. Hopefully he won’t mind if I share a bit of his comments. (I guess I am assuming he is a he rather than a she,,,, please correct me if I am wrong):

“I think what separates your "kinky" blog from most others is the great content provided in each update, and that the reader knows that you're real. That's what ties it all together for me, is that I know everything that is written and featured is one hundred percent legitimate. I appreciate and enjoy all that is written, and the pictures featured too.

Unfortunately, I believe a lot of "kinky" blogs are entirely fake.  It's great to have the knowledge that not only is your blog real, but that it contains great content as well.”

Thanks, dear reader. We try to make it real ---- except when we go off into pure fantasy --- like the part where Judge Miguel lets the buck stop with his Bailiff. In reality, he’s a stand up guy who would never throw his Bailiff under the bus.

As it turns out, the dear Judge is off to a “Judicial Conference” this weekend, visiting his brother for some golf.  No doubt he brought his summer robes, as shown in this illustration that our Senior Correspondent passed along.

He and Mistress were texting and phoning some as he waited for his delayed plane yesterday, flirting at the cocktail lounge with two women.

At one point, Mistress warned “Now M… don’t show them that SOC….”

They can both be a little possessive.  Mistress does seem to enjoy those little photos M will text her from time to time of his SOC, but likes to think she is the only one on the distribution list.

And M seems to get the willies if he hear’s about Mistress flirting with some other guy.  (Though the other night, when Mistress reported that an attractive woman was flirting with her at a little post-work outing, both M and I gave it a “thumbs up” --- what is it about guys and the buzz that comes with the thought of a little girl / girl action?)

Apparently the allure of the cock shot is not a sentiment universally shared. This morning  Aisha posted an excerpt from Jon Stewart’s show earlier this week describing one woman’s thoughts on the receipt of the random “cock shot”, definitely worth watching. Here is the link.

The only problem Mistress seems to have with M’s cock shots is that they tend to reproduce like weeds on her various devices.  You know the drill: it comes in on the I-phone. She later synchs her I-phone with her home laptop. It moves over there. Then later she synchs with her office computer. There it is again. And each re-synching can cause it to re-produce again.

When I suggested she may not want to have all those cock shots on her office computer…. Let’s say the IT guy (or girl) does a little maintenance and then files a sexual harassment claim – she set off on the task of deleting, and deleting, and deleting.

It became a project akin to spring house cleaning. All those SOC’s.  Impressive. Put them together and we would cover the distance to London and back. (If they were my work-a-day cock, we might have only made it to Boston).

I wonder if there is an App for this type of project: the cyber equivalent of “Round Up” to root out all the obscene photos on your devices. And just think of the problem once we all go to the so called “Cloud”.   Once a photo enters cyberspace who knows where it ends up.

SOC, now you belong to the ages….

Judge Miguel’s legacy may be something beyond his collected opinions.

HNT / Disrupted Scehdule

Sometimes you have to be flexible. Mistress has a way-too-early meeting today. Our initial plan was to defer our morning "encounter" until this evening.... but when both of us woke at around 5:50 am and Mistress had until 6:15 to hop into the shower... well you can imagine where fingers and tongues led us....

But I did want to share a few illustrations from the last few days. First, for those of you following Mistress's shoe collection, this photo from Monday, when Mistress was chatting with the WC on our way home from work.

There was also some discussion this week about Mistress's trip to the gynecologist this week. the pervy WC had suggested that she get herself off while awaiting her annual inspection. Our female readers scoffed at the notion, and Mistress drew a firm line. But one of our correspondents suggested that at least she could send us a photo of the occasion.

As it turns out, Mistress did send to me and the WC the following photo, from the examining room. and it seems only fair to share.

Finally, you may recall that last week, Donna came up with a collection of items for "Judge Miguel" to amuse himself with at his campaign headquarters. Well apparently he could not resist one item, a special accessory for the Hitachi Magic wand that amounts to a "cock sleeve". He even sent a photo to Mistress when his new toy arrived. (It seems he is not planning to borrow wife B's Hitachi, and got his own.... ).

I'm hoping for a more detailed product review, from the WC, but early reports are interesting.

"He says he tried it when his wife was in the shower..... that  it was so intense it almost hurt .... he says he needs to experiment with it some...."

"And what did his wife think about his new toy...."

"Apparently she thought it was pretty cool, Slave...."

I suspect B is grateful for any assistance in keeping the Special Occasion Cock amused. If it doesn't take a village, it may take power tools.

Judge Miguel Meets the Press

“I appreciate you joining us here today on such short notice.

As many of you have heard, my opponent in this year’s judicial race recently distributed a collection of emails and photos which she claimed had been collected from my government issued  cell phone, and  the computer used in my chambers.

Initially, and as a result of my failure to completely examine the “tawdry e-mail dump” as some have described it, I denied any responsibility for the contents of those messages, suggesting that somehow our systems here at the court house had been hacked or that I was the victim of some type of cyber attack or prank by my political opponents or maybe the godless Chinese.

But as I reflected on the materials that members of the press gave me, and the comments made in the media to some of the recipients of those emails, I must admit, to my embarrassment, that yes, I was their author and source.

Over the last few years, I have been in contact via the internet and email with a number of women. I saw those contacts as a way for me to better understand the world and values of so many of the defendants who appear before me in Court, accused of various sordid crimes, or  involved in civil disputes that involve communications over the internet, and claims of cyber harassment, copyright infringement, or defamation.

Having grown up in a world where the means of communication were by the written word or telephone,  it made sense to me to do some interactive research in order to better comprehend how these new technologies impacted the behavior and lives of the individuals and entities that come before this Court on a regular basis.

I simply wanted to be a better and more compassionate Judge of those who came before me seeking justice.

To the extent that my intentions were confused, then I apologize to the persons with whom I communicated. And I certainly regret any embarrassment that may have inadvertently been imposed on my devoted family, or this Court.

Now I would be happy to take some of your questions:

Q. Judge, some of your emails and other postings use the title “WC” or “Western Correspondent”. Have you been earning extra money not disclosed on your annual ethics disclosures?”

A. The answer is “No.”. My role as a writer for a certain website was purely hypothetical. And while it may appear that I complained from time to time that my paycheck had not arrived, or that I had not been reimbursed for certain expenses, or that the media empire in question had failed to install the hot tub promised to me, rest assured that no money or items of value actually changed hands.

Q. One of the emails references a “sentence” you imposed involving the use of clothespins on a woman’s nipples while she masturbated. I have two questions, first, was the sentence actually imposed? And second, did it have the effect that you had hoped?

A. First, let me say that I don’t recall that specific sentence. But if it was imposed, it was not part of my regular docket here in court, but was only an experiment that might have been used in a real case only if approved by the Governor’s sentencing commission. As for the effect, I suppose you would have to ask the woman who agreed to participate in that experiment.

Q. In various emails and postings an acronym is used with the letters “SOC”. Can you tell us what that is?

A. Ummmmm…. As you know from examining the emails, much of the material appears to have been written by other individuals. You would have to ask them the meaning of that term.

Q. What is “UCTMW” and who are Molly and Mick Collins?

A. To the best of my understanding, UCTMW is simply a website or blog that posts fictional accounts about the lives of two people using those names. I have never met those individuals, and therefore cannot confirm or deny that they actually exist.

Q. Have you had phone sex with this woman, Molly Collins?

A. I don’t know what you mean by that term.  Have I talked to her on the phone?…. Yes. I have talked to a person using that name.  Do I know what she was actually doing on the other end of the line?  No. Next question…. Yes, you in the blue dress…

Q. Some of the photos attached to your text messages appear to be of a male sexual organ in various states of ‘anger’…. Can you verify for us that the penis depicted is yours?

A. Well, let me just say that I cannot with certitude deny that those photos are not of my body. But as you know photos, like penises, can be manipulated and altered. In fact, that was one of the reasons I set forth on this research project, because I had heard from various witnesses that photos used as evidence in my courtroom had somehow been altered or ‘photoshopped’ as some call it…. I hope that answers your question, young lady.

Q. It doesn’t actually, Your honor…. Would it be possible to arrange for an inspection of the ‘real deal’ in order to put to rest the allegation that you’ve been emailing photos of your penis from your chambers to this Molly Collins?

A. Why don’t you send me an email, and we will see if suitable arrangements can be made….. If you talk to my Bailiff he can give you my new private email address. 

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I hope than answers your questions. I intend to go back to work now…. Making sure that justice is done… certainly a wiser man as a result of this experience.

from this experience.

Molly and Mick at the Movies

Yesterday, on our drive home Molly and Mick were all abuzz over the meltdown of that NY Congressman on TV yesterday afternoon. Mistress even texted the WC about it, and when it became apparent that he was behind the news curve we called with a full update.

I mean, who would think about sending or posting lewd photos of themselves to putative strangers?

Shocking.

As we chatted about this on our drive, I must say I was a little distracted by Mistress’s summer attire. The short, cotton dress. The long tanned legs. I even got her to hand me her little I-phone camera for a shot as we did the bumper to bumper thing on the highway north. Those lovely, muscular thighs quickly put me in the mood for some worship when we arrived home, and before our bike ride in the sultry summer heat.

I had missed an opportunity to worship at lunch time, because my own lunch meeting went longer than planned, so I made sure that Mistress got a double dose of pleasure as I settled in the taste those musky juices.

But what I wanted to talk about this morning was a movie Mistress and I had watched via netflix over the weekend. The 1981 classic, Body Heat.

No doubt our fans of a certain age have seen it before. A film noir throw back, starring the young William Hurt and Kathleen Turner as, respectively, a small town lawyer and femme fatale gold digger, with smaller roles for the then unknown Micky Rourke and Ted Danson. Here is the trailer, which as is common, misrepresents the story line a bit to fill seats…. I mean, there is no gunplay in this movie, so what’s with the pistol shots?

The dialog may be a bit dated, and the scenes a little slower paced than what we’ve come to expect, but the heat generated by the two main characters has not faded with the years.

What impressed me was the rather explicit sex, and the semi-nude scenes showing a good deal of the main characters.

There was even a rather compelling sequence with Turner on her stomach, clearly being taken from behind, dripping sweat, moaning with delight, that made you wonder whether we were talking anal sex.

I guess we may need to get an opinion from our staff Expert Assotologist.

What struck me is that this movie has much more explicit sexual imagery than any of the mainstream Hollywood movies of recent vintage. Sure there are occasional independent flicks with occasional steamy sex that get NR status. But Hollywood stars going at it, showing all?

The Hollywood movies today seem to go for the “gross out” or “shock” factor when it comes to sex. Something that seemed to start with “There's Something About Mary” in 1998. So in “Wedding Crashers” there is that faux sexy scene where the hot little sister ties Vince Vaughn to her bed. Then, just last week, we took sullen teen #2 to see “Hangover 2”, only to be embarrassed by a scene involving Ed Helms getting fucked in the ass by a drag queen in Bangkok.

Not something you want to share with a teenaged daughter.

So instead of hot sex between consenting adults, Hollywood now seems more interested in serving up “Yuck”

I know…. I’m sounding like my Mom.

At any rate, Body Heat definitely got a cock and nipple “up” from Molly and Mick. Check it out if you’ve not seen it in a while, or if you were wee lads or lassies in 1981. And give us your own recommendations for another trip to the movies here at UCTMW. We're always looking for achance to stay home and get turned on.

Finally. Before heading upstairs where I need to slide into bed next to Molly, I wanted to pass on a little of our conversation yesterday evening at dinner…. Have no fear, the sullen teens were otherwise engaged.

“So I mentioned to the WC that I’m going to the gynecologist tomorrow, Slave…”

“I bet he found that amusing….”

“Yeah, I think he has a fantasy about being a gynecologist, and all the women he might have the chance to ‘inspect’….”

“Sound like M…”

“So he says, when you’re waiting for him to come in the room, why don’t you get yourself off, so that it’ll be easier for him to slide those instruments in….”

I think at that point I began choking on my steelhead trout.

“And you said….”

“I don’t think so M….”

“I mean wouldn’t the guy be able to tell that you were…. Shall we say…. Pre-lubricated?”

I am imagining that tell tale musky aroma of Mistress permeating that little examining room…. Deadly.

Mistress just rolled her eyes. But we did agree to pass this subject onto our readers. If only to give you a better sense of how deeply twisted our WC can be at times.


And here I was, complaining about gross out movies, only moments ago.