Mistress Gets Feisty

It was a busy Saturday here  at the UCTMW World HQ.

Carrying forth with yesterday’s Sit-Com analogy, this could be one of those back to back episode extravaganzas …. And yet, well, I have some Switch Day planning to do this morning.  Need to save some creative energy for that, don’t I?

So, roll the cutsey pooh credits, and let her rip……

Episode One:

Mistress was a horny little slut yesterday morning, if I may be so bold.

As she read the blog, and some of the comments that had already filtered in, I was buried between her muscular thighs under the sheet, lavishing her sodden folds with plenty of attention. And once the lap-top was set aside, she had a little amuse- bouche of an orgasm, complements of my tongue, sort of getting her appetite revved up for what would be served up next.

She pulled me up and next to her, grappling for my cock. It was already beginning to rise to the occasion, but with Mistress subtle (well, really not so subtle) grip, I was soon begging for permission to fuck her….and it took her a while to agree. She was amused by my pitiful pleas, it seemed.

But when she finally did agree to my entreaties, much to my desperate gratification, she threw a change up.

“Do me from behind, Slave….”

Hmmm… something that had been left off the menu for a few weeks. I was wondering what made Mistress want to go in this direction – some smutty little fantasy about our Western Correspondent I suspected – but I was happy to play my supporting role in it.

With some help from Mistress’s fingers I found my way in from behind, and made sure I pumped her with the type of fervid rhythm that seems to press the buttons for her in this position. And since it’s not a position that Slave readily comes in, well, all the better for Mistress, right? She knew I would not be annoying her with a request to come any time soon.

It was hard to tell if Mistress came that way, as I pressed her body hard against the mattress, sliding in and out with a good pace from behind….but after a while, it was another change-up from her.

“I want to be on top now, Slave….”

“Of course, Mistress….”

Hmmm….. more high energy from Mistress. 

I slid off and over, rolling onto my back…. Mistress commented on my rather prominent cock, pointing up at her at a right angle from my tummy, like an old Atlas rocket about to chase down Sputnik and put it in its place (or was it Spud-Nut? … DM Sarah P., she would know….)

Quickly Mistress mounted me, and it was not long before she was squeezing those sultry green eyes shut, moaning and quaking with one of those seismic cums that seem to visit her in this position…. She was reaching back now, fondling my balls, and I was so close, but not …just …. there.  

Arghhhh.

And I could tell Mistress was getting tired riding my cock, so I suggested we roll over…

She seemed grateful, sliding off me, then onto her back….and I was on top of her lickity split. Not long thereafter, it was Slave begging for permission, and Mistress generously saying “Yes, my Slave…”

That was my cue to go for it. It seemed I came in a long series of spasms, before collapsing back onto her soft, warm body.

At this point Slave could have gone back to sleep, cuddled next to her…. Brain and body dead like a piece of fully depreciated livestock.

But Mistress was  not quite done.

“Hand me the Hitachi, Slave…..”

Wow. Some guys might feel that their services had come up short under such circumstances. But, call me cocky, I knew I had left it all on the field….

On this particular morning, Mistress’s needs were just a little more than something a mere cock could handle, and I had no shame in reaching under the bed and thumbing her power tool on for her.

I sidled next to her as the churning device slid under the sheets. I happily took on the role of supporting actor, gnawing on a nipple, then probing her mouth with my tongue, as she took matters into her own hands.

And soon she was bucking up against the machine’s soft churning bulb, her head thrown back, moaning with the final release of a well earned climax to our morning’s adventures.

At that point we both drifted off, spent….

Episode Two

So I was down in the bowels of the UCTMW World HQ, painting a door to our garage. (Yes, your humble Executive Editor / General Counsel / Risk Management Analyst also acts as weekend maintenance technician here in River City).

Mistress wandered downstairs, calling for me. I looked up. She had a phone pressed to her ear.

“I have the WC on the phone, Slave…. And he reminds me that you are due a punishment.”

Huh?

Apparently, our Western Correspondent was buttonholing our Boss, playing some office politics, whilst I am tending to mundane company business. He had been taking the CEO aside and throwing me under the bus. No doubt he’s angling for a fancier title and my corner office. 

But I stifled my complaints….biding my time.  There will be payback … maybe I will send the IRS a bogus 1099 from “UCTMW Enterprises” in M’s name. Let the WC explain that one to his accountant.

“No doubt he’s right, Mistress.”

 “Why don’t you finish up soon down here Slave, and meet me in our bedroom.”

She went back upstairs, still chatting with flirtatious animation to M….

I soon had one coat of dark green paint on the door, and put my supplies away. After washing up, I headed upstairs, where Mistress, done with her talk, soon joined me.

“Get out my supplies, Slave.”

I knew exactly what she meant. The strap-on and its faux cock. The lube.

“And make sure you get me the riding crop too….”

I laid her supplies on the bed. She snapped a photo of the crop, and texted it off to M, letting him in on what was to come.  No doubt he would be amused that the seed he had planted would soon be sprouting.

I did not have to ask whether to strip off my pants and underwear, as Mistress slid into her harness. Soon she was ready for action, riding crop in hand.

”On your stomach Slave…. And be still….”

Of course, I complied, but asked, “and why am I  being punished, Mistress….”

“You know why….”

The first blow landed with a stinging surprise.

Yow.

“I am not sure, Mistress….”

Dumb move.

Two more had me squirming, trying to suppress my verbal complaints by chomping on a pillow.

“You were a real ass-hole twice this week, Slave….”

Yes. True. Two drives to work where Mistress had to tell me to “stifle”.

Are we sounding like Archie and Edith here? But with the roles reversed? Could be.

After the fourth blow, I was more than ready to admit my sins. But the blows kept raining down, and they sure hurt. 

Damn they hurt.

Unrestrained, I could not avoid rolling over and away at one point, to avoid the crop that Mistress was wielding so effectively. But her stern look made me realize that would only extend the punishment. So I sucked it up and submitted….

It’s at moments like these that I wish I had more padding back there.

But, at last, Mistress relented.

Sitting next to me and running her warm, now merciful hands along my ass. The fire was already receding, but she oohed and ahhed a bit.

“Oh my…. What nice red welts you have, Slave….”

She reached for her I-phone, snapped a photo, fiddled with her keyboard. I’m not sure if one went to M, but one went to my email account. I was instructed to show it to you all today….

Then she handed me the lube after applying a generous amount to her “cock”. 

“Are you ready for the next part, Slave.”

I was. This would be a picnic, compared to that crop.

She found her little target with no difficulty, then began pumping home.

I have a feeling that her warm up act -the process of making me writhe in pain for her, all my exclamations of agony - actually may have enhanced her own … arousal.

Because it was really only a matter of about 90 seconds… at least so it seemed …. Before she was coming hard and long with against my ass with those tell-tale spasms of ecstasy.

“Wow, Mistress…. I think you liked that….”

“Yes…. I did Slave…. Very satisfying….”

She was sliding out of me now, dropping her harness onto the floor for me to clean up and pack away afterwards….

“Why don’t you go insert your little device, and get back here and fuck me….”

I did not have to think twice about toeing that particular line.

Is this Just Another Sit-Com?

Thursday night, as Mistress, her Slave and our WC toyed with one another between episodes of The Office and Parks and Recreation, I realized that the primitive appeal of the network Sit-Com has a lot in common with what makes those of us in this little community keep coming back to each others’ blogs, day after day.

Whether it was Taxi, Seinfeld, Mary Tyler Moore, or the current more exotic crop of shows like Californication, the appeal of those silly confections is the same: a familiar, endearing, yet quirky cast of characters, doing what they do, week after week, year after year, with only a subtle change up, or new character thrown into the mix to extend the shelf life just a little longer.

After a while, characters like Sam Malone, Mary Richards, George Castanza and the rest become part of your extended “family”, imaginary as they may be. You develop a bit of an addiction to see what might happen to them next.


So what are we all doing here? (Actually, the better question is what are YOU all doing here?)

Here at UCTMW we really don’t do much every day that is all that different. Sex in the morning. A little afternoon worship. Occasional phone sex with the WC before bed, or over the weekend.

I try to throw a change-up every now and then. And there are often some cheesecake photos of the lovely Mistress to distract and amuse…..

But we are not inclined to a whole lot of self-analysis or introspection. What do you expect from an aging Irish guy who picked an Irish street fighter as his blog-o-sphere namesake? Navel gazing? No way.

Yet we still are getting more than 1000 page views everyday. More than 600 “unique” visitors stop by most days. And about 150 of you are repeat voyeurs daily.

I suspect what draws you here is a certain familiarity and comfort with our “characters”, despite a very thin plot line.

Will the WC recover from frozen cock syndrome?

Will Molly ever jump on a plane for a surprise visit to our Western office to conduct an audit of his expense account and inspect that Special occasion equipment?

Will someone ever try to open Mick’s office door just as Mistress is coming?


It’s not unlike wondering whether Lou Grant will ever make a pass at Mary Richards?

Or whether Sam will finally end up in bed with Diane?


We may well be the Burns and Allen of sex bloggers. But we are having fun, and our aim is to spread the good humour and kinky vibes to a broader audience.

And why do we follow you?

We are amazed by Tammy’s seemingly unlimited willingness to submit so completely to the demands of Suzanne, Jay and all those friends and relatives?

And we need to know whether Suzanne will end up being the subject of our Western Correspondent’s ass-fucking tutorial after the Super Bowl?

Over at “Jumping on In”, we follow SFP’s revolving cast of characters, which are taking on the quirky depth and variety of Jerry Sienfeld’s stable of dates.

And we wonder if Aisha will negotiate her way into the clutches of the mystery Dom who lives so far away.

Of course, one difference is the opportunity to comment, email, text and phone one another, that allows us to barge onto the pages of another little blog world and kibitz a bit. Our chance to meet Aisha and D, and visit their down river dungeon, was almost like Lou and Mary showing up on the set of “All in the Family”. Improbable, but lots of fun.

But enough of this over analysis. True to the spirit of this entry, I need to catch you up, if briefly on events here on the Collins family set.

First, Molly blushed a bit to all those lovely comments you left yesterday about her Ass. Yes, I feel like the comedian who holds one hand up to stop the applause, while the other hand is inviting more.

And at some point yesterday morning, she texted me about a specific comment.

“Sin wants to see that picture of you in the cock-cage. …We’ll see.” It’s on her phone, so it’s up to her to pass it on, folks. So far I have been spared.

And M and Mistress were tossing other photos back and forth via text and email during the day. It seems that M and his wife B dined at a restaurant in their hometown at lunchtime. When M described it to Molly, she passed on a photo of she and her Slave dining at the very same place in the summer of 2008.

Odd Serendipity.

After a trip to the gym at the end of the work day, Mistress and Slave had a “picnic” to catch up on the latest episode of “Big Love” (dark, very dark this season), then retired to bed.

Actually, Mistress retired first, as I cleaned our dishes. What else would a Slave do?

As I entered our bedroom, Mistress was under a blanket, naked. And on the phone.

“It’s M, Slave…. He asked me to call.”

“Would you like me to go downstairs and give you two lovebirds some privacy, Mistress?”

“No Slave…. Just get ready for bed.”

They chatted as I stripped down, then settled into bed next to her. I picked up my laptop to review your comments and to check out Suzanne’s weekend plans. Like her at the end of the day, Mistress was still a bit sweaty from our trip to the gym, and I planned to make sure she was tongued clean before bedtime.

Mistress and M talked about the comment he had left on our blog, asking UCTMW to treat him to the attentions of a $500/hr. massage therapist to bring that sad, frozen cock back to full health. I couldn’t resist making a comment.

“That’s higher than your hourly rate, Mistress….”

“M… the Slave says that’s too much … why don’t I just come out there and give you all the therapy you need…. And I could audit your expense account records while I am at it?”

At about this point, after leaving a few pithy comments on some of your blogs, I had to intervene. Setting aside the laptop, I settled in between Mistress’s tangy, salty thighs.

“He’s at it again, M…. what is a Mistress to do?”

But she hardly pushed me aside, and I could tell M had gotten with the program. Soon Mistress was cooing back at him with all those “Yes, M….. I would M……” phrases, that tell me she is getting into the “zone” with his highly skilled verbal assistance.

And I don’t need to tell you what happened next…..the bucking, moaning, the scissored legs squeezing my balding head. Clearly, two guys can do Mistress much better than one.

And once Mistress and M signed off, I received the dividend.

Hopefully, M got his own reward before the night was out.

And since this blog was a bit of a retrospective, I’ve added a photo above from the UCTMW annals that is a bit of a flashback, particularly for our Western Correspondent.

It appeared very early on these pages, back in  2009.

M says that when he saw it, he knew that Mick and Molly were in territory not too far from his own. Apparently it piqued an interest that led, step by step, to his current and ever evolving relationship with Mistress and UCTMW Enterprises.

Considering how long it took Diane to finally nail Sam Malone (or was it the reverse?), there is plenty of time to draw this little comedic soap opera out.

Mistress "Works from Home"

As promised, Slave spent the work day in his cage yesterday., while Mistress spent a well deserved day “working from home”.

My first stop was at a lab near in River City’s big University / Hospital complex. My annual physical is coming up and the Doc always send me in for a blood test to check on my cholesterol, etc., etc. But when the perky nurse handed me the little cup for the requisite urine sample, well…. peeing into a cup through a cock cage can have its challenges….

Mistress was amused when I told her about that little adventure as I drove to my office, catching her on the way to the gym. And then later we talked when she called me from the nail salon. No doubt she was sending out important office emails with one hand, as the nail-lady worked on the other.

At one point, as I struggled through some rather tedious drafting of my own, Mistress texted: “Just used the Hitachi. Ha ha.” Of course, my “no touch” rule remains in effect – all hard cocks are at Mistress’s disposal here at UCTMW – but even if I had been of a mind to break it, well, the steel cage would have resolved that problem.

When I finally got home, there was some home made chili bubbling on the range, and Mistress seemed to be genuinely relaxed – a good thing after a stressful first half of her week. When I asked, she was more than happy to let me worship her. I knelt at the side of the bed. She tugged down her jeans, and I was able to dig in to her lovely damp folds. Once she had her fill she agreed to unlock me.

“But first, let’s take a shot of you in the cage to send to M….”

My trousers were already off, and I pulled up a T-shirt to give her the right angle. She then texted it off to M, presumably to bolster her Mistress cred.

At that point she used her little key to spring me free, and gave my liberated cock an affectionate pat.

“Sex after dinner Slave…. If you’re good.”

After feeding our surly teens – and congratulating the Senior who received an unsolicited scholarship offer from one of the Colleges on her short list (!!!!!!) – we adjourned to our bedroom. The plan was to catch up on your blogs, watch The Office, and then burrow into the sheets for some pre-snooze fucking.

But then there was a text from M.

“He wants me to call Slave…. Alright?”

“Of course, Mistress…. Let me know if you want me to leave the room.”

She just patted me.

“No you can stay here, Slave.”

I was still on my laptop as they chatted about their day. M was amused by the shot of me in my cock cage. And to be a trouble maker, I interjected a bit.

“Maybe you’d like to turn the tables and get M into your cage someday, Mistress….”

“Slave says you should think about being caged like that, M.”

“Although I assume we would need a super-sized version, don’t you think, Mistress.”

She laughed. Passed that uppity remark on….

“M says it would be way too frustrating for him…. He’s used to easy access…. At work, in the car….when B is out…..”

No I guess M doesn’t have the discipline to accept Mistress’s cage. But it’s an intriguing thought. I suspect we have more than a few lurkers out there who would jump at the chance.

“M thinks I should make you post the photo on the blog, Slave….to show everyone what a good obedient Slave you are….”

Blush….. that always is a little embarrassing. So I came up with a reason to avoid that posting.

“But Mistress, what if there are a lot of comments about my caged cock….. won’t that annoy you…. Since no one commented on your ass despite that lovely photo in today’s blog.”

She laughed……”Slave, wheedling, M….. I hope you don’t mention that in the blog, it will sound like I’m fishing for compliments.“

Oops.

Somehow the chat about the cage had gotten to me, reminding me of that long period of denial, and I put the laptop aside. And you can suspect where I headed.

“Ahhh…. M…. he’s at it again…. he just can’t control himself.”

But Mistress did not push me away as my lips and tongue found there way between her legs…. All naked and ready for me.

“My parts are a;; exposed here M…. as they usually are by this time of the night. And I guess he just can’t resist.”

Soon M was playing his part…. Whispering those incendiary words and phrases that – combined with my avid ministrations – soon had Mistress bucking against me, her legs squeezing my head as she moaned her ecstasy into the phone to him.

We do make a good tag team, M. If you’re not going to write, at least this is one way to earn your over-budget expense account.

Mistress said “enough”, so I just laid there on her lap for a while, a bit zoned out, horny as hell after my day in the cage, but knowing “my place”, and waiting patiently for their talk to end.

As they talked on, I concluded that Mistress had sufficient rest and might welcome a little more intimate attention. So I was back at it, consumed by her sultry taste and musky aroma.

“He’s at it again, M….. he just can’t seem to get enough.”

Uhhh…. No, I can’t.

And M seemed more than happy to indulge Mistress with another round of salacious talk. Until she came all over my face again. Yum.

But soom their talk ended, and the Collins’ watched the Office, as planned (thank god for that instant replay feature on our cable box). The 30 minute episode gave Mistress a little time to relax before she let her Slave have his way with her.

“Why don’t you insert your little device first, Slave.”

It seemed inevitable, what with all that Butt plug talk in yesterday’s blog.

“Of course, Mistress.”

Luckily, it was not mistakenly placed in the freezer.

And so Slave was – at last – given permission to fuck his beloved Mistress, making sure she had at least two more orgasms before asking for my own permission to come.

And when I suggested that we watch “Parks and Recreation” – our other Sit Com indulgence – Mistress just rolled over, apparently zonked.

“I’m going to sleep, Slave…. Too many orgasms today.”

Poor Dear.

HNT / A Tutorial on Butt Plugs from our Southern Correspondent

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First, here are some photos of Mistress from our Switch day, this past Sunday. 

Lovely, bottom, don’t you think? Plus, as an HNT bonus, here is  a view of Molly after she just begged to wear those pegs, for the privilege of having all those orgasms.  (Today ‘Nilla has her pegs on too!, making it “DPT”, or “double peg Thursday” in this little corner of blogland.).

And lest you be concerned, things were on a more even keel here at the UCTMW World HQ yesterday .

Despite some angst about our Surly Teen #2, we had some satisfying if efficient morning sex, a stop by worship in my office before lunch, and then, last night, with my little white device firmly in place, some very hot good night fucking.

So Mistress got her usual supply or orgasms, and her Slave “came” out well too. Mistress reminded me that Wednesday used to be my Abstinence Day. But we seem to have fallen off that wagon. One can hardly complain.

Today Mistress is working from home, on a project that requires concentration. Avoiding the distractions of her office should be positive, and I hope she and M get a chance for some therapy of their own during the course of the day. She will need the stress relief.

But I am devoting the heft of today’s blog to a very entertaining submission from Donna, our Southern Correspondent. She has been of great help to us here at the UCTMW media empire, picking up the fallen “sword” of our Western Correspondent, who is still rehabilitating that frozen cock. (I am tempted to refer to it as his “special occasion frock”, but that might get MissBehavior and some of our other followers with similar interests confused, so I won’t go there.) Taking time from knitting those protective “cock cozies” for our male staff, she’s shown what an excellent writer she is as well.

Our WC’s Tutorial on First Time Anal Sex, continues to generate clicks here at UCTMW, and this contribution from Donna makes an excellent reading companion. It could  be particularly helpful to Suzanne over at ALL Mine, should she lose her Super Bowl bet to Jay:

 
Considering your WC's lingering interest, experience and longing concerning anal sex, it doesn't take a visit to the local psychic to see long hours spent with butt plugs in your... future, probably for both of you. While Mick has written about your wonderful strap-on, hours spent in an up close and personal relationship with a butt plug can...alter the way one walks and talks if not done properly. The snip below is from an Australian blog I enjoy, “Down the Rabbit Hole”. I wish I had read a handy-dandy guide like this before doing my stubborn "I can take it" routine.

If this is repeat or old hat information for you, my apologies. However, better too much than not enough info when talking about delicate tissues.

From a purely psychological standpoint, it might be interesting to know about the potty training procedures of WC's mother. I would be among the first to raise my hand and say that anal sex is a wonderful thing. However, the enthusiasm of WC and the thumbs up approach of his brother lead me to wonder whether their mother had one of those expensive musical potty chairs or offered candy or cash for #2 accomplishments beginning a positive association with the human butt that has lasted through the years. Just wondering.

I know, I know, some friends send Hallmark greeting cards to show they care. I, on the other hand, have always leaned toward the more practical. I started to write a greeting card style poem to go with this info, but (husband) Bill said he thought perhaps you have suffered enough with the email alone. Sometimes he is more humorous than others.

Hugs,
Donna


http://deviantrabbit.blogspot.com/2011/01/long-term-butt-plug-wearing.html

Long term butt plug wearing

This is being posted because it is one of those things that people ask about frequently and this is an easier way of doing it... for one small slave at any rate. Some of this stuff is common knowledge and some of it is from trial and error so may not be universal. It is also worth mentioning that some of it is less than glamorous so you have been warned. Err... that means stop reading now if you are squeamish...

Selection:

·         Stainless steel is best for long term wear and there are plenty to choose from.

·         Be aware that as your body gets used to them you may need to select a larger size, particularly if you are doing this to make anal sex easier. As they are expensive you might want to give this some consideration before ordering that cute little one.

·         If you are wearing them 24/7 give some thought to the shape of your arse and the handle. The gems are pretty, but are wider than the Njoy.

Lube:

·         Don’t be shy; use it, particularly in the beginning

·         Get a good silicone based one rather than water. It lasts longer and doesn’t wash off so easily. “Back Door” by Pjur is the best one has found to date.

Time:

·         Be sensible... work up to it. Don’t just ram the thing in and hope for the best. Wear it for a short time and increase it.

·         If it hurts take it out and try again later

Gas:

·         Your body produces a lot of it and you don’t realise how much until it can’t get out easily.

·         If it builds up you will get cramps. Take it out for a while or wiggle it so the gas can escape.

·         As the body gets used to the plug it will learn how to work around it. As the swelling goes down it will get easier.

Enemas:

·         Are fun things to do but you don’t have to do a full one every time. It is much kinder to the body in the long run as continual enemas can strip out the natural lining of the bowel and you can get a lazy bowel... it stops contracting to expel.

·         Use a bulb type enema (rectal syringe) standing up to give a quick flush where you need it and cause less problems

Diet and exercise:

You thought you were safe didn’t you J

·         It is in your best interest to keep a good diet and exercise program with plenty of water. You want nice firm stools that come out cleanly rather than leaving a mess you have to clean up every time.

·         The best way to do this is make sure you eat plenty of fibre and drink plenty of water. Stay away from foods that upset your stomach... it is a kindness

Miscellaneous:

·         Do take the damn things out somewhere safe. If you drop one of them down a toilet they will crack the bowl.

·         They are heavy and slippery when removed and come out faster than you think...

·         Stainless steel can be washed easily and they can be sterilized... do it on a regular basis

·         They cannot fall in or out if they have a good base

·         If it is cold, warm it first under some hot water... it cuts down on cramping

·         The 2.0 is not for the faint-hearted or the novice... there are some issues with both the length of the handle which renders it hard to sit on, and that even with the fluting on the side venting gas is difficult.

Thanks for these good words of advice, Donna. And I know all our readers look forward to our WC’s response about his potty training days.

Now I better go up stairs and put on the ring for my cock cage. Since we will not be driving to work together today, it's in the cage for this Slave.