Is this Just Another Sit-Com?

Thursday night, as Mistress, her Slave and our WC toyed with one another between episodes of The Office and Parks and Recreation, I realized that the primitive appeal of the network Sit-Com has a lot in common with what makes those of us in this little community keep coming back to each others’ blogs, day after day.

Whether it was Taxi, Seinfeld, Mary Tyler Moore, or the current more exotic crop of shows like Californication, the appeal of those silly confections is the same: a familiar, endearing, yet quirky cast of characters, doing what they do, week after week, year after year, with only a subtle change up, or new character thrown into the mix to extend the shelf life just a little longer.

After a while, characters like Sam Malone, Mary Richards, George Castanza and the rest become part of your extended “family”, imaginary as they may be. You develop a bit of an addiction to see what might happen to them next.


So what are we all doing here? (Actually, the better question is what are YOU all doing here?)

Here at UCTMW we really don’t do much every day that is all that different. Sex in the morning. A little afternoon worship. Occasional phone sex with the WC before bed, or over the weekend.

I try to throw a change-up every now and then. And there are often some cheesecake photos of the lovely Mistress to distract and amuse…..

But we are not inclined to a whole lot of self-analysis or introspection. What do you expect from an aging Irish guy who picked an Irish street fighter as his blog-o-sphere namesake? Navel gazing? No way.

Yet we still are getting more than 1000 page views everyday. More than 600 “unique” visitors stop by most days. And about 150 of you are repeat voyeurs daily.

I suspect what draws you here is a certain familiarity and comfort with our “characters”, despite a very thin plot line.

Will the WC recover from frozen cock syndrome?

Will Molly ever jump on a plane for a surprise visit to our Western office to conduct an audit of his expense account and inspect that Special occasion equipment?

Will someone ever try to open Mick’s office door just as Mistress is coming?


It’s not unlike wondering whether Lou Grant will ever make a pass at Mary Richards?

Or whether Sam will finally end up in bed with Diane?


We may well be the Burns and Allen of sex bloggers. But we are having fun, and our aim is to spread the good humour and kinky vibes to a broader audience.

And why do we follow you?

We are amazed by Tammy’s seemingly unlimited willingness to submit so completely to the demands of Suzanne, Jay and all those friends and relatives?

And we need to know whether Suzanne will end up being the subject of our Western Correspondent’s ass-fucking tutorial after the Super Bowl?

Over at “Jumping on In”, we follow SFP’s revolving cast of characters, which are taking on the quirky depth and variety of Jerry Sienfeld’s stable of dates.

And we wonder if Aisha will negotiate her way into the clutches of the mystery Dom who lives so far away.

Of course, one difference is the opportunity to comment, email, text and phone one another, that allows us to barge onto the pages of another little blog world and kibitz a bit. Our chance to meet Aisha and D, and visit their down river dungeon, was almost like Lou and Mary showing up on the set of “All in the Family”. Improbable, but lots of fun.

But enough of this over analysis. True to the spirit of this entry, I need to catch you up, if briefly on events here on the Collins family set.

First, Molly blushed a bit to all those lovely comments you left yesterday about her Ass. Yes, I feel like the comedian who holds one hand up to stop the applause, while the other hand is inviting more.

And at some point yesterday morning, she texted me about a specific comment.

“Sin wants to see that picture of you in the cock-cage. …We’ll see.” It’s on her phone, so it’s up to her to pass it on, folks. So far I have been spared.

And M and Mistress were tossing other photos back and forth via text and email during the day. It seems that M and his wife B dined at a restaurant in their hometown at lunchtime. When M described it to Molly, she passed on a photo of she and her Slave dining at the very same place in the summer of 2008.

Odd Serendipity.

After a trip to the gym at the end of the work day, Mistress and Slave had a “picnic” to catch up on the latest episode of “Big Love” (dark, very dark this season), then retired to bed.

Actually, Mistress retired first, as I cleaned our dishes. What else would a Slave do?

As I entered our bedroom, Mistress was under a blanket, naked. And on the phone.

“It’s M, Slave…. He asked me to call.”

“Would you like me to go downstairs and give you two lovebirds some privacy, Mistress?”

“No Slave…. Just get ready for bed.”

They chatted as I stripped down, then settled into bed next to her. I picked up my laptop to review your comments and to check out Suzanne’s weekend plans. Like her at the end of the day, Mistress was still a bit sweaty from our trip to the gym, and I planned to make sure she was tongued clean before bedtime.

Mistress and M talked about the comment he had left on our blog, asking UCTMW to treat him to the attentions of a $500/hr. massage therapist to bring that sad, frozen cock back to full health. I couldn’t resist making a comment.

“That’s higher than your hourly rate, Mistress….”

“M… the Slave says that’s too much … why don’t I just come out there and give you all the therapy you need…. And I could audit your expense account records while I am at it?”

At about this point, after leaving a few pithy comments on some of your blogs, I had to intervene. Setting aside the laptop, I settled in between Mistress’s tangy, salty thighs.

“He’s at it again, M…. what is a Mistress to do?”

But she hardly pushed me aside, and I could tell M had gotten with the program. Soon Mistress was cooing back at him with all those “Yes, M….. I would M……” phrases, that tell me she is getting into the “zone” with his highly skilled verbal assistance.

And I don’t need to tell you what happened next…..the bucking, moaning, the scissored legs squeezing my balding head. Clearly, two guys can do Mistress much better than one.

And once Mistress and M signed off, I received the dividend.

Hopefully, M got his own reward before the night was out.

And since this blog was a bit of a retrospective, I’ve added a photo above from the UCTMW annals that is a bit of a flashback, particularly for our Western Correspondent.

It appeared very early on these pages, back in  2009.

M says that when he saw it, he knew that Mick and Molly were in territory not too far from his own. Apparently it piqued an interest that led, step by step, to his current and ever evolving relationship with Mistress and UCTMW Enterprises.

Considering how long it took Diane to finally nail Sam Malone (or was it the reverse?), there is plenty of time to draw this little comedic soap opera out.

Mistress "Works from Home"

As promised, Slave spent the work day in his cage yesterday., while Mistress spent a well deserved day “working from home”.

My first stop was at a lab near in River City’s big University / Hospital complex. My annual physical is coming up and the Doc always send me in for a blood test to check on my cholesterol, etc., etc. But when the perky nurse handed me the little cup for the requisite urine sample, well…. peeing into a cup through a cock cage can have its challenges….

Mistress was amused when I told her about that little adventure as I drove to my office, catching her on the way to the gym. And then later we talked when she called me from the nail salon. No doubt she was sending out important office emails with one hand, as the nail-lady worked on the other.

At one point, as I struggled through some rather tedious drafting of my own, Mistress texted: “Just used the Hitachi. Ha ha.” Of course, my “no touch” rule remains in effect – all hard cocks are at Mistress’s disposal here at UCTMW – but even if I had been of a mind to break it, well, the steel cage would have resolved that problem.

When I finally got home, there was some home made chili bubbling on the range, and Mistress seemed to be genuinely relaxed – a good thing after a stressful first half of her week. When I asked, she was more than happy to let me worship her. I knelt at the side of the bed. She tugged down her jeans, and I was able to dig in to her lovely damp folds. Once she had her fill she agreed to unlock me.

“But first, let’s take a shot of you in the cage to send to M….”

My trousers were already off, and I pulled up a T-shirt to give her the right angle. She then texted it off to M, presumably to bolster her Mistress cred.

At that point she used her little key to spring me free, and gave my liberated cock an affectionate pat.

“Sex after dinner Slave…. If you’re good.”

After feeding our surly teens – and congratulating the Senior who received an unsolicited scholarship offer from one of the Colleges on her short list (!!!!!!) – we adjourned to our bedroom. The plan was to catch up on your blogs, watch The Office, and then burrow into the sheets for some pre-snooze fucking.

But then there was a text from M.

“He wants me to call Slave…. Alright?”

“Of course, Mistress…. Let me know if you want me to leave the room.”

She just patted me.

“No you can stay here, Slave.”

I was still on my laptop as they chatted about their day. M was amused by the shot of me in my cock cage. And to be a trouble maker, I interjected a bit.

“Maybe you’d like to turn the tables and get M into your cage someday, Mistress….”

“Slave says you should think about being caged like that, M.”

“Although I assume we would need a super-sized version, don’t you think, Mistress.”

She laughed. Passed that uppity remark on….

“M says it would be way too frustrating for him…. He’s used to easy access…. At work, in the car….when B is out…..”

No I guess M doesn’t have the discipline to accept Mistress’s cage. But it’s an intriguing thought. I suspect we have more than a few lurkers out there who would jump at the chance.

“M thinks I should make you post the photo on the blog, Slave….to show everyone what a good obedient Slave you are….”

Blush….. that always is a little embarrassing. So I came up with a reason to avoid that posting.

“But Mistress, what if there are a lot of comments about my caged cock….. won’t that annoy you…. Since no one commented on your ass despite that lovely photo in today’s blog.”

She laughed……”Slave, wheedling, M….. I hope you don’t mention that in the blog, it will sound like I’m fishing for compliments.“

Oops.

Somehow the chat about the cage had gotten to me, reminding me of that long period of denial, and I put the laptop aside. And you can suspect where I headed.

“Ahhh…. M…. he’s at it again…. he just can’t control himself.”

But Mistress did not push me away as my lips and tongue found there way between her legs…. All naked and ready for me.

“My parts are a;; exposed here M…. as they usually are by this time of the night. And I guess he just can’t resist.”

Soon M was playing his part…. Whispering those incendiary words and phrases that – combined with my avid ministrations – soon had Mistress bucking against me, her legs squeezing my head as she moaned her ecstasy into the phone to him.

We do make a good tag team, M. If you’re not going to write, at least this is one way to earn your over-budget expense account.

Mistress said “enough”, so I just laid there on her lap for a while, a bit zoned out, horny as hell after my day in the cage, but knowing “my place”, and waiting patiently for their talk to end.

As they talked on, I concluded that Mistress had sufficient rest and might welcome a little more intimate attention. So I was back at it, consumed by her sultry taste and musky aroma.

“He’s at it again, M….. he just can’t seem to get enough.”

Uhhh…. No, I can’t.

And M seemed more than happy to indulge Mistress with another round of salacious talk. Until she came all over my face again. Yum.

But soom their talk ended, and the Collins’ watched the Office, as planned (thank god for that instant replay feature on our cable box). The 30 minute episode gave Mistress a little time to relax before she let her Slave have his way with her.

“Why don’t you insert your little device first, Slave.”

It seemed inevitable, what with all that Butt plug talk in yesterday’s blog.

“Of course, Mistress.”

Luckily, it was not mistakenly placed in the freezer.

And so Slave was – at last – given permission to fuck his beloved Mistress, making sure she had at least two more orgasms before asking for my own permission to come.

And when I suggested that we watch “Parks and Recreation” – our other Sit Com indulgence – Mistress just rolled over, apparently zonked.

“I’m going to sleep, Slave…. Too many orgasms today.”

Poor Dear.

HNT / A Tutorial on Butt Plugs from our Southern Correspondent

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First, here are some photos of Mistress from our Switch day, this past Sunday. 

Lovely, bottom, don’t you think? Plus, as an HNT bonus, here is  a view of Molly after she just begged to wear those pegs, for the privilege of having all those orgasms.  (Today ‘Nilla has her pegs on too!, making it “DPT”, or “double peg Thursday” in this little corner of blogland.).

And lest you be concerned, things were on a more even keel here at the UCTMW World HQ yesterday .

Despite some angst about our Surly Teen #2, we had some satisfying if efficient morning sex, a stop by worship in my office before lunch, and then, last night, with my little white device firmly in place, some very hot good night fucking.

So Mistress got her usual supply or orgasms, and her Slave “came” out well too. Mistress reminded me that Wednesday used to be my Abstinence Day. But we seem to have fallen off that wagon. One can hardly complain.

Today Mistress is working from home, on a project that requires concentration. Avoiding the distractions of her office should be positive, and I hope she and M get a chance for some therapy of their own during the course of the day. She will need the stress relief.

But I am devoting the heft of today’s blog to a very entertaining submission from Donna, our Southern Correspondent. She has been of great help to us here at the UCTMW media empire, picking up the fallen “sword” of our Western Correspondent, who is still rehabilitating that frozen cock. (I am tempted to refer to it as his “special occasion frock”, but that might get MissBehavior and some of our other followers with similar interests confused, so I won’t go there.) Taking time from knitting those protective “cock cozies” for our male staff, she’s shown what an excellent writer she is as well.

Our WC’s Tutorial on First Time Anal Sex, continues to generate clicks here at UCTMW, and this contribution from Donna makes an excellent reading companion. It could  be particularly helpful to Suzanne over at ALL Mine, should she lose her Super Bowl bet to Jay:

 
Considering your WC's lingering interest, experience and longing concerning anal sex, it doesn't take a visit to the local psychic to see long hours spent with butt plugs in your... future, probably for both of you. While Mick has written about your wonderful strap-on, hours spent in an up close and personal relationship with a butt plug can...alter the way one walks and talks if not done properly. The snip below is from an Australian blog I enjoy, “Down the Rabbit Hole”. I wish I had read a handy-dandy guide like this before doing my stubborn "I can take it" routine.

If this is repeat or old hat information for you, my apologies. However, better too much than not enough info when talking about delicate tissues.

From a purely psychological standpoint, it might be interesting to know about the potty training procedures of WC's mother. I would be among the first to raise my hand and say that anal sex is a wonderful thing. However, the enthusiasm of WC and the thumbs up approach of his brother lead me to wonder whether their mother had one of those expensive musical potty chairs or offered candy or cash for #2 accomplishments beginning a positive association with the human butt that has lasted through the years. Just wondering.

I know, I know, some friends send Hallmark greeting cards to show they care. I, on the other hand, have always leaned toward the more practical. I started to write a greeting card style poem to go with this info, but (husband) Bill said he thought perhaps you have suffered enough with the email alone. Sometimes he is more humorous than others.

Hugs,
Donna


http://deviantrabbit.blogspot.com/2011/01/long-term-butt-plug-wearing.html

Long term butt plug wearing

This is being posted because it is one of those things that people ask about frequently and this is an easier way of doing it... for one small slave at any rate. Some of this stuff is common knowledge and some of it is from trial and error so may not be universal. It is also worth mentioning that some of it is less than glamorous so you have been warned. Err... that means stop reading now if you are squeamish...

Selection:

·         Stainless steel is best for long term wear and there are plenty to choose from.

·         Be aware that as your body gets used to them you may need to select a larger size, particularly if you are doing this to make anal sex easier. As they are expensive you might want to give this some consideration before ordering that cute little one.

·         If you are wearing them 24/7 give some thought to the shape of your arse and the handle. The gems are pretty, but are wider than the Njoy.

Lube:

·         Don’t be shy; use it, particularly in the beginning

·         Get a good silicone based one rather than water. It lasts longer and doesn’t wash off so easily. “Back Door” by Pjur is the best one has found to date.

Time:

·         Be sensible... work up to it. Don’t just ram the thing in and hope for the best. Wear it for a short time and increase it.

·         If it hurts take it out and try again later

Gas:

·         Your body produces a lot of it and you don’t realise how much until it can’t get out easily.

·         If it builds up you will get cramps. Take it out for a while or wiggle it so the gas can escape.

·         As the body gets used to the plug it will learn how to work around it. As the swelling goes down it will get easier.

Enemas:

·         Are fun things to do but you don’t have to do a full one every time. It is much kinder to the body in the long run as continual enemas can strip out the natural lining of the bowel and you can get a lazy bowel... it stops contracting to expel.

·         Use a bulb type enema (rectal syringe) standing up to give a quick flush where you need it and cause less problems

Diet and exercise:

You thought you were safe didn’t you J

·         It is in your best interest to keep a good diet and exercise program with plenty of water. You want nice firm stools that come out cleanly rather than leaving a mess you have to clean up every time.

·         The best way to do this is make sure you eat plenty of fibre and drink plenty of water. Stay away from foods that upset your stomach... it is a kindness

Miscellaneous:

·         Do take the damn things out somewhere safe. If you drop one of them down a toilet they will crack the bowl.

·         They are heavy and slippery when removed and come out faster than you think...

·         Stainless steel can be washed easily and they can be sterilized... do it on a regular basis

·         They cannot fall in or out if they have a good base

·         If it is cold, warm it first under some hot water... it cuts down on cramping

·         The 2.0 is not for the faint-hearted or the novice... there are some issues with both the length of the handle which renders it hard to sit on, and that even with the fluting on the side venting gas is difficult.

Thanks for these good words of advice, Donna. And I know all our readers look forward to our WC’s response about his potty training days.

Now I better go up stairs and put on the ring for my cock cage. Since we will not be driving to work together today, it's in the cage for this Slave.

Three Strikes

I suspect this blog creates the impression that Molly and Mick are always chipper and upbeat. That we are relentlessly courteous to one another. That we live in a drama free zone where, like a kinky version of that mythical Minnesota Town, the cunts are always dripping, the dicks are never flacid, and the cock cages never get tarnished.

Hate to break the news, but even we can have a bad day here at UCTMW, one that requires a little energy and humility to overcome.

Our day started a bit too early yesterday morning. Both of us had early downtown meetings. And Mistress had been up the night before working on a project. So there was no sex to begin the day.

Strike one.

Then, in the car, as we game planned the rest of our too busy week, trying to figure out how to get Surly teen #1’s care serviced, get to the gym, make sure that a car was available for Surly teen #2’s dentist appointment, blah, blah, blah, Mistress got a little snappish:

“Don’t lecture me…..”

Strike two.

That quieted things down for the rest of the ride to work, as you might imagine.

I dropped Mistress at her meeting, then went to mine.

We did exchange mushy text messages from our meetings. Little peace feelers. And when Mistress called me on her walk back to her office, we seemed to be in a better space.

We also talked as she walked to and from a lunch engagement, at a posh downtown Club where all of the corporate lions of River City gather at noon time, to tut tut about our nation’s slow descent into socialism, as they export jobs and their bank accounts to warmer and more congenial climes.

No doubt he would be much admired in her black dress, with those lovely slits showing off those strong shapely legs in black tights and her over the knee boots. Very Tina Turner.

But it was around 3 pm that I got a rather snippy text from her:

“You never invited me over for worship today when I was walking around, Slave.”

Ooops. Strike 3.

“You seemed so busy, Mistress.”

“No excuse.”

At this point my initial instinct was to get defensive …. But I quickly realized that would put us back on a downward slope. Instead, I groveled.

“I deserve punishment, Mistress.”

“Yes, you do…. What if I come over now.”

“Excellent.”

Within about 5 minutes, she strode into my office. Looking hot. (I forgot to ask whether any of those corporate lions flirted with her…. Another demerit.)

“I can’t believe I had to ask for worship, Slave….. and here I am in my special tights.”

That was a surprise…. Usually I get advance notice, to remind me how to plan my day.

“Hmmmm…. Did you wear those for someone other than me, Mistress.”

“No…. but I probably should have.”

No further discussion was required. I pressed her “throne” up against the door, spread out the maroon blanket, and fell to my knees. With those peek-a-boo tights, Mistress was ready for action. No need to remove her boots.

“Take your time, Slave…. I’m taking a photo that I want to see posted on the blog.”

“Of course, Mistress.”

Suffice it to say that I did take my time, with Mistress’s legs over my shoulders, holding me firmly in place, as I proceeded to bring her to two robust little cums to break the chill.

Hopefully I had redeemed myself, but I suspected there might be further consequences for my poor attitude and negligent behavior. If any of you out there have any suggestions, I am sure Mistress would welcome them.

Later, at home, things were back to “normal”, which suggested that groveling was definitely my best path to redemption.

Mistress and I were sitting in bed, resting up a bit, checking your blogs on our laptops, before it was time to prepare dinner.

The WC had been texting Mistress, and I suggested that she ask him if he was going to respond to Suzanne’s comment, requesting that he describe his first use of the “diaper position.”

The WC, who apparently does not want to get all that lube residue on his computer keyboard, quickly responded.

“He says he is going to dictate the story to his Slave Molly, while she wears that buttefly vibrator, Slave…. What do you think of that….”

“I think you would probably like that, Mistress….”

“Yes, Slave…. I probably would.”

By the time the teens were fed, and we were done watching #POTUS do his #SOTU (too much tweeting last night!), there was still time for some hanky panky. And I was fortunate that Mistress was in a forgiving mood.

“Are you finally ready to fuck me now, Slave…”

“I am fortunate that you are allowing it after my misbehavior today, Mistress….”

“Yes, you are a very lucky, Slave.”

Amen.