Mistress
is the one away this weekend, off to visit our daughter down in GA. We had some
great “reunion” sex on Sunday evening, and more on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday
mornings. One accelerant that stoked our sexual fires was Mistress recounting
her “while slave is away” sleepover with her old (and maybe current) lover Jay.
“It was hot,
slave. Like old times. I think he missed
me……”
“I’m sure
he did, Mistress.”
My guess
is Jay will be coming around again soon. Though I think he likes it a lot more when he is the only man in the house. Sharing is not one of his strong suits.
Sadly, with Mistress
away, slave doesn’t have much blogging inspiration to work with (other than Mistress’s
description of the two business men who chatted her up at the ATL airport on
Thursday morning).
SO let's discuss a recent Atlantic article, The Bored Sex, which
validates our embrace of the cuckold lifestyle. Hint: “The Bored Sex” is not male. As the lead suggests “women, more than men,
tend to be stultified by long term exclusivity…..” Here’s a taste:
Andrew
Gotzis, a Manhattan psychiatrist with an extensive psychotherapy practice, has
been treating a straight couple, whom we’ll call Jane and John, for several
years. They have sex about three times a week, which might strike many as
enviable, considering that John and Jane — who are in their 40s — have
been together for nearly two decades. Based on numbers alone, one might wonder
why they need couples counseling at all.
But only one of them is happy with the
state of play. And it isn’t Jane.
“The
problem is not that they are functionally unable to have sex, or to have
orgasms. Or frequency. It’s that the sex they’re having isn’t what she wants,” Gotzis told me in a recent phone
conversation. And like other straight women he sees, “she’s confused and demoralized
by it. She thinks there’s something wrong with her.” John, meanwhile, feels
criticized and inadequate. Mostly he can’t understand why, if his wife is
having sex with him and having orgasms, she wants more. Or different.
The
article quotes a variety of studies suggesting that women can more quickly get
bored with monogamous sexual relationships than their male partners.
Although most people in sexual partnerships end up facing the
conundrum biologists call “habituation to a stimulus” over time, a growing body
of research suggests that heterosexual women, in the aggregate, are likely to
face this problem earlier in the relationship than men. And that disparity
tends not to even out over time. In general, men can manage wanting what they
already have, while women struggle with it.
So how does a modern woman avoid that
dreaded “habituation to a stimulus”? (i.e., hubbie’s same old, same old cock?)
Obviously, look for new stimuli!
Although this article mentioned strategies
like toys, lingerie and even open marriages, the glaring hole was cuckoldry
(with or without a FemDom chaser).
But it’s so obvious! If women are more
likely to succumb to sexual blahs than their male mates, then why not open
things up for the female partner to acquire a “side dish” (or a variety of side dishes) as a relationship
matures?
What’s good about a “sidedish” is that it can be more readily
replaced or recycled than a “main course”. Tired of fries? How about some sweet potatoes? Grilled eggplant? Or even deep fried Brussell sprouts? They all go
well with a steak!
If the husband hopes to remain the “main
course”, it behooves him to make sure there is a compelling variety of “side
dishes" on the menu.
And if it just so happens that a bride’s enjoyment of a side dish (or three) is a source of stimulus for a sub-hubby, all the better!
